Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   The seedy underbelly of Florida's retirement communities: "Every night is Saturday night in The Villages. And who's going to get pregnant?"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 129
    More: Florida  
•       •       •

10274 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 2:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



129 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-06-19 03:59:09 PM  

rickythepenguin: LeroyBourne: it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.


Jacking off Jesus as we speak


I lol'd.  I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.
 
2014-06-19 03:59:57 PM  

Sofa King Smart: [cdn.gifbay.com image 320x180]


Wow, I'd forgotten about that guy. So great.
 
2014-06-19 04:00:22 PM  

MemeSlave: Nix Nightbird: If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.

You sound unmarried.


Or, maybe you have a crappy sex life.

/42. Tons of great sex in my late teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.
 
2014-06-19 04:21:25 PM  
Been shopping for a retirement community for a few years.
I'm not looking for a place like that.
I intend to be a gigolo, though.
In a HUD retirement community, you have to declare income and assets, but not gifts. Like clothes, and cars, and food, and nice things. I figure, I could have a breakfast date each day with one gal, and a lunch with another. Then a dinner/dance date with lady #3. Maybe a once a month gal for farking, too. That will keep me in food and suits. Maybe a moped.
 
2014-06-19 04:31:17 PM  

ChipNASA: 51...I should go down there on a "preview tour" and see how much cash I can rake in.....because Horny and with a bank full of disposable retirement income is definitely the way to go through your golden years Grandma

/I bet I could *WRECK* that place.


Same here in age. Would definitely make a tour of the place.
 
2014-06-19 04:48:20 PM  
Oh yeah
Uh, sexy
Oh yeah
Delivering pizza on a Saturday night
I was cranking Van Halen and looking tight
Ten extra sausage went to Shady Oak Drive
I'm lucky that I left there alive
It's a gangbang
The place was packed with wrinkly boobies and dicks
The youngest one there was maybe 76
The head granny grunted and she pulled out a gun
She said we'll pay you for the pizza when we're done
It's a gangbang
Gangbang at the old folks home
One foot in the grave
Two lips on my bone
Gangbang at the old folks home
The smell of Bengay was kind of making me sick
Till someone spit out some dentures and started gumming my dick
These golden girls had really been round the block
I got a rim job from one while she was knitting some socks
Gangbang at the old folks home
Senile sex slaves are making me groan
Gangbang at the old folks home
I took her doggy and I gave her a spank
That's when I think I dislodged her oxygen tank
She fell to the floor and three seconds later
I was running for the defibrillator
Three silver foxes started licking my ass so
I twisted my nuts to keep from cumming to fast
I had my fist in a butthole til somebody said
That ain't no way to show respect for the dead
Gangbang at the old folks home
I rode a sex train with geriatric nymphos
Gangbang at the old folks home
Old folks home, yeah
 
2014-06-19 04:49:13 PM  

LeroyBourne: I lol'd. I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.



"shoot it on my tits, Jesus!  grandma needs it bad!  Granny's a dirty girl!"
 
2014-06-19 05:18:31 PM  

ZombieBear: I remember an incident vividly; While working at a nursing home, there was this woman who came in demanding, loudly, that the staff put an end to her mothers night time recreational activities. The staff just sat there straight faced and told the lady "Your mother is her own person, and if she wants to have sex with 5 or 6 different patients in a week, it is her own business, and we are not going to stop it." I could not tell if the woman was red from embarrassment, or red from anger, but it was hilarious.

Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...


I'm unclear on what finding her mother in the middle of playing a horseshoe-like ring-tossing game has to do with anything...
 
2014-06-19 05:23:13 PM  
img.fark.net
best part is they die off, so they don't get attached
 
2014-06-19 05:38:28 PM  

FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.


It probably sounds more like stirring a bowl of mac'n'cheese.
 
2014-06-19 05:55:40 PM  

dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?


fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.
 
2014-06-19 06:33:20 PM  
images4.static-bluray.com

images.amcnetworks.com
 
2014-06-19 06:41:24 PM  
OK, who let the asshole with the boombox in?

/that is not a toy!
 
2014-06-19 06:45:20 PM  

brownribbon: dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?

fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.


Hey I got an AARP solicitation in my early 20s too! It is actually one of my biggest regrets, NOT getting the card.

"Why yes I WILL be dining off the senior's menu, thanks!" Discounts galore man.
Also some day I could stand up at the AARP meeting and demand people respect my seniority because I've been a member of this fine organization for 50 years!
 
2014-06-19 06:46:33 PM  
When I think of old people doin' it, I regard it the same way I regard anyone else doin' it, regardless of age: go ahead and get your swerve on, I have no problem with it, but I don't need pictures or descriptions.
 
2014-06-19 07:39:33 PM  

NateAsbestos: brownribbon: dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?

fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.

Hey I got an AARP solicitation in my early 20s too! It is actually one of my biggest regrets, NOT getting the card.

"Why yes I WILL be dining off the senior's menu, thanks!" Discounts galore man.
Also some day I could stand up at the AARP meeting and demand people respect my seniority because I've been a member of this fine organization for 50 years!


Genius!
 
2014-06-19 07:46:56 PM  

70Ford: [images4.static-bluray.com image 728x409]

[images.amcnetworks.com image 560x331]


my favorite quote from that movie came from Wilford Brimley.  "Hey little girl, want a piece of candy?" he said to his wife as he steps into the shower she was having with his new found 'vigor'.
 
2014-06-19 08:40:17 PM  
I wish my mother and MIL had been there--I would have LOVED to hear they were partying and having a good time instead of whining and laying guilt trips on people about not visiting them.
In fact, those people in FL sound healthier than most old people I know up north who behave in an allegedly respectable manner.
 
2014-06-19 09:17:49 PM  
ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2014-06-19 10:12:36 PM  

"Your grandma's got spunk!" "Yeah, I know..." "No, I mean..."

 
2014-06-20 12:22:16 AM  

gadian: Ah yes, not worrying about pregnancy means they're less likely to use condoms which means an uptick of AIDS and Hepatitis in retirement communities.


"Oh no! You mean I have to die of AIDS in 15 years instead of dying of Alzheimers in 17 years? Whatever will I do?!"


MemeSlave: Nix Nightbird: If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.

You sound unmarried.


I was married for almost 20 years, then divorced after having NO sex whatsoever for the last four years of the marriage. After the divorce, I reconnected with someone I thought I'd lost decades earlier and I put a ring on her finger soon after that.

So it comes down to being with the right person. If you're with the right person, it doesn't get stale.

/and if you shower regularly, it doesn't get crusty.
 
2014-06-20 01:42:50 AM  
I was going to post on this but...
 
2014-06-20 02:28:00 AM  

Nix Nightbird: "Oh no! You mean I have to die of AIDS in 15 years instead of dying of Alzheimers in 17 years? Whatever will I do?!"


And in the mean time tax and overburdened already stretched resources and pose a greater risk to the community as a whole.  Look beyond the fornicating seniors here.
 
2014-06-20 02:54:59 AM  

LeroyBourne: rickythepenguin: LeroyBourne: it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.


Jacking off Jesus as we speak

I lol'd.  I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.


Does anyone else think this seat is getting a bit crowded?
 
2014-06-20 07:53:14 AM  
My grandparents used to live there when it was called Orange Blossom Gardens and had one clubhouse and one nine-hole golf course.
 
2014-06-20 09:37:57 AM  

CeroX: [www.tvequals.com image 550x308]


Came by for Bob's Burgers, but going further


stream1.gifsoup.com

/slow-to-load gif
 
2014-06-20 10:59:33 AM  

AFKobel: FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?

He seems like kind of a prude.


I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...
 
2014-06-20 12:58:08 PM  

shortdarkandmeh: I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...


You have to picture it.  Then it becomes inexplicable.
 
2014-06-20 01:12:36 PM  

shortdarkandmeh: AFKobel: FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?

He seems like kind of a prude.

I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...


The last person who tried to explain it so much, only worked for Disney just one day.

/still can't understand who had the bright idea that Mr Cranky-pants might be a good fit for Disney.
 
Displayed 29 of 129 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report