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(Daily Mail)   The seedy underbelly of Florida's retirement communities: "Every night is Saturday night in The Villages. And who's going to get pregnant?"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 129
    More: Florida  
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10249 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 2:08 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



129 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-19 11:09:58 AM  
Should be slimy underbelly since they can't reach down there any more.
 
2014-06-19 11:14:31 AM  
The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.
 
2014-06-19 11:49:36 AM  
Good for them.
 
2014-06-19 11:52:29 AM  
I already saw this on "Bob's Burgers".
 
2014-06-19 12:02:50 PM  

FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.


So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?
 
2014-06-19 12:17:32 PM  
My parents live there.  It's a pretty weird place.  When I visit I play shuffleboard, drink, swim, drink, drive a golf cart, drink, golf, drink, play bocce, and drink.  I can't wait to retire.

I hope this isn't true:

Resident Belinda Beard, 62, said: 'All of the women work hard to look good... Turn your back for a minute and someone will try to steal your husband'

My 72 year-old father has a bad back.  This could be trouble.
 
2014-06-19 12:50:31 PM  
 
2014-06-19 01:14:36 PM  
evergreenterrace.com.au

Slippin me your keys after shuffleboard? Oh you better believe that's a paddlin'.
 
2014-06-19 02:11:01 PM  
www.loopedblog.com

And sometimes, Grandpa likes to watch Grandma getting pounded by a black guy while masturbating in the closet dressed as spiderman.
 
2014-06-19 02:11:01 PM  
Pregnant? Aren't most of them post-menopausal?
 
2014-06-19 02:11:28 PM  
Ahem...people.virginia.edu
 
2014-06-19 02:12:07 PM  
Peggy was the star attraction here a couple weeks ago.  We all said she looked damn good for her age.


I wonder if my wife would let me go down there...
 
2014-06-19 02:13:48 PM  
FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?

He seems like kind of a prude.
 
2014-06-19 02:14:15 PM  
The women are easy to get into bed. By 8 p.m.
 
2014-06-19 02:14:48 PM  
How many threads do we have to have about "OMG old people are farking"?  It's not surprising at all, it's just gross to hear about.
 
2014-06-19 02:14:57 PM  

cgraves67: Pregnant? Aren't most of them post-menopausal?


4.bp.blogspot.com

Miracles of modern medicine.
 
2014-06-19 02:15:53 PM  
jay.mobile9.com
 
2014-06-19 02:16:20 PM  
I can see a few people from the political thread fapping to this.
 
2014-06-19 02:17:59 PM  
I blame boner pills and that new vag wax or whatever it is.
 
2014-06-19 02:18:46 PM  
"The Villages", you say?
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-19 02:19:37 PM  

blatz514: Ahem...[people.virginia.edu image 54x11]


^^^^ Beat me to it. But, yeah subby this is not scary. THIS IS FLORIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


mrvoyles.weebly.com
 
2014-06-19 02:19:53 PM  
But, on the plus side...

I now know how I'm financing my retirement.
 
2014-06-19 02:20:21 PM  
Gives me hope for when I'm old.

Makes me glad I'm not, yet.
 
2014-06-19 02:20:22 PM  
51...I should go down there on a "preview tour" and see how much cash I can rake in.....because Horny and with a bank full of disposable retirement income is definitely the way to go through your golden years Grandma

/I bet I could *WRECK* that place.
 
2014-06-19 02:20:38 PM  
TTIUWOP
 
2014-06-19 02:21:04 PM  
My grandparents live there.  It really does have a "fun singles location" vibe to it.
 
2014-06-19 02:21:10 PM  

Another Government Employee: Peggy was the star attraction here a couple weeks ago.  We all said she looked damn good for her age.


I wonder if my wife would let me go down there...


Peggy wouldn't mind you going down.
 
2014-06-19 02:21:20 PM  
I remember an incident vividly; While working at a nursing home, there was this woman who came in demanding, loudly, that the staff put an end to her mothers night time recreational activities. The staff just sat there straight faced and told the lady "Your mother is her own person, and if she wants to have sex with 5 or 6 different patients in a week, it is her own business, and we are not going to stop it." I could not tell if the woman was red from embarrassment, or red from anger, but it was hilarious.

Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...
 
2014-06-19 02:22:09 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-19 02:22:37 PM  
NTTAWWT
 
2014-06-19 02:23:19 PM  

hardinparamedic: cgraves67: Pregnant? Aren't most of them post-menopausal?



Miracles of modern medicine.


I am familiar with that but I didn't realize it could worked on post-menopausal women. I thought it was for young women who have erratic ovulations. Also, why the fark are old, promiscuous women taking it? Nature is handing you birth control and you're turning it down?
 
2014-06-19 02:23:30 PM  

ZombieBear: Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-19 02:24:45 PM  
I will not retire in the Villages.

Nothing but old people to hang with. Most of them Republicans.

I will retire in an age-balanced community in Florida. I like variety. So many young women have daddy issues. If I want old women, I can always troll the nursing homes.

/:-)
 
2014-06-19 02:25:07 PM  
Coming soon, another reality TV show on TLC.
 
2014-06-19 02:25:25 PM  
Sorta deserves the obvious/ironic tag.

"The Villages" are one of the most conservative/red locals in Florida. They send a buttload of cash to the RNC and Rick Scott. I guess as long as the rum and Viagra flow, they are content to let the poors eat cake...or bring Pablo in to clean Mrs Neusbaum's pool....
 
2014-06-19 02:27:23 PM  
www.sherdog.net

"The f*ck's a 'toyboy?"
 
2014-06-19 02:28:26 PM  
Not only Viagra, there's probably a thriving black market for K-Y Jelly
 
2014-06-19 02:28:29 PM  

AirForceVet: I will not retire in the Villages.

Nothing but old people to hang with. Most of them Republicans.

I will retire in an age-balanced community in Florida. I like variety. So many young women have daddy issues. If I want old women, I can always troll the nursing homes.

/:-)


In Florida, the Villages IS an age balanced community.
 
2014-06-19 02:28:57 PM  
Lemon Party at the Village tonight

splatter.com
 
2014-06-19 02:29:28 PM  
Some men like to pick up cougars.
home.midwest.net

Look at that shameless female, hanging on him like that!
 
2014-06-19 02:29:30 PM  
My father moved there a couple of years ago, found himself a new wife there. I really didn't want to know about this....
 
2014-06-19 02:29:50 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Not only Viagra, there's probably a thriving black market for K-Y Jelly


K-Y's illegal now!?  This is totally going to bum out my sheep.
 
2014-06-19 02:31:18 PM  

dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?



What if he already has a marriage license?
 
2014-06-19 02:32:07 PM  
YES

www.tampabay.com

Look....The Villages Single Dating Site....

http://www.perfectmatch.com/Dating/Florida/The-Villages/Senior-Datin g- Site.html

Let's Go SHOPPING!!!

Yep

images.perfectmatch.com

images.perfectmatch.com
images.perfectmatch.com
images.perfectmatch.com
images.perfectmatch.com

images.perfectmatch.com


Fiddy +   EWWWWWW
 
2014-06-19 02:33:31 PM  
www.tvequals.com
 
2014-06-19 02:33:52 PM  
It's all fun and games until you get--oh wait it's still fun and games.
 
2014-06-19 02:35:38 PM  
*bleeeaaagghghhhh*
 
2014-06-19 02:35:39 PM  
If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.

Sure, I'm a little beat up, but being with the right person makes all the difference in the universe. Believe it or not, what you're attracted to changes as you age. Your interests age with you, and not in a bad way.

So I'm perfectly willing to accept that I'll be attracted to 70-year-old women when I'm a 70-year-old man. I think we're just wired that way.
 
2014-06-19 02:36:04 PM  
where's the disgusting tag?

more like barf control, amirite?
 
2014-06-19 02:36:33 PM  
You know what, I need to get out of debt.  I'll just head down there, Fred Garvin some older gals, and come back and pay everything off.

/Including therapy.
//You know, or I could just daydream a little more.  Wha' evah.
 
2014-06-19 02:37:04 PM  

ChipNASA: YES

[www.tampabay.com image 746x497]

Look....The Villages Single Dating Site....

http://www.perfectmatch.com/Dating/Florida/The-Villages/Senior-Datin g- Site.html

Let's Go SHOPPING!!!

Yep

[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x100]

[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x120]
[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x105]
[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x120]
[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x120]

[images.perfectmatch.com image 100x120]


Fiddy +   EWWWWWW


ChipNASA: Brave MILF Hunter. God Bless you, Sir.
 
2014-06-19 02:41:23 PM  
My buddy worked at an old persons home and yeah, that shiat goes on.  He told me there's this old lady that broke her hip, so she was wheelchair bound, but was still all about the cack.  They'd catch her giving out handkys in the dinning room, in the day room, in the tv room.  Now normally I wouldn't give a shiat, but c'mon when families are visiting with kids around.  When telling the story in person I try and give my best zombie moan as to what the men sound like during their experience.
 
2014-06-19 02:41:35 PM  
And who's going to get pregnant?


urbsocietymagazine.com
 
2014-06-19 02:42:27 PM  

dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?


He's just going to change shooting arms.
 
2014-06-19 02:43:37 PM  
Give subby a few more years and he will be using the Hero tag and buying a house there.
 
2014-06-19 02:44:01 PM  
What's four-legged, then two-legged, then three-legged, then sixteen-legged?
 
2014-06-19 02:44:05 PM  
A 49 year old man can be classified as a "boytoy"?

/not as old as I thought.....
 
2014-06-19 02:45:09 PM  

cgraves67: hardinparamedic: cgraves67: Pregnant? Aren't most of them post-menopausal?



Miracles of modern medicine.

I am familiar with that but I didn't realize it could worked on post-menopausal women. I thought it was for young women who have erratic ovulations. Also, why the fark are old, promiscuous women taking it? Nature is handing you birth control and you're turning it down?


It's probably Premarin they are taking, not Clomid. Conjugated estrogens.
Wonder what breast cancer rates are like in The Villages?
 
2014-06-19 02:46:04 PM  
I applaud them.
 
2014-06-19 02:47:50 PM  

Cdr.Murdock: A 49 year old man can be classified as a "boytoy"?

/not as old as I thought.....


Hell, I just turned 40, what would that make me?
 
2014-06-19 02:48:15 PM  

AirForceVet: I will not retire in the Villages.

Nothing but old people to hang with. Most of them Republicans.

I will retire in an age-balanced community in Florida. I like variety. So many young women have daddy issues. If I want old women, I can always troll the nursing homes.

/:-)


If it's the place I'm thinking of it straddles three counties and the developers play the counties off each other. They got themselves exempted from paying any school tax.  FoxNews radio plays out of the lampposts.
 
2014-06-19 02:48:45 PM  
ChipNASA: Brave M(G)ILF Hunter. God Bless you, Sir.

OH SO GROSS AND SHARP KNEES!!!!!!

images.perfectmatch.com
www.usnews.com

images.perfectmatch.com
pmi1.peoplemedia.com


Where do I check the box on the dating site for women with Parkinson's cause.....HAND JOBS
 
2014-06-19 02:48:58 PM  

Old Man Winter: I applaud them.



Applaud all you want. Just don't try stuffing dollar bills in their g-string.
 
2014-06-19 02:51:37 PM  
really no 'rippin and tearin' gifs yet?  ok I'll do it...

in honor of ChipNASA, gilf hunter and king fark of shiat island or whatever that phrase was...
 
2014-06-19 02:51:43 PM  
i1.ytimg.com

Denzel approves!
 
2014-06-19 02:53:00 PM  

Cerebral Knievel: Cdr.Murdock: A 49 year old man can be classified as a "boytoy"?

/not as old as I thought.....

Hell, I just turned 40, what would that make me?


Statutory.
 
2014-06-19 02:54:29 PM  

FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.


Patty looks great for 68yrs but she may be an alcoholic.
 
2014-06-19 02:56:27 PM  
Well she's sexy and seventy
My little rock-roll queen
A little  bit obscene
Gotta let off a little steam
 
2014-06-19 02:57:11 PM  
oblig

i232.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-19 02:57:24 PM  
"Then you`ll fark me" - Doug stanhope
 
2014-06-19 02:58:08 PM  
When granny pops out her dentures, that's the cue...
 
2014-06-19 03:00:19 PM  
cdn.gifbay.com
 
2014-06-19 03:01:06 PM  
Oh, I'm going to need to turn up my Oxygen.
 
2014-06-19 03:01:40 PM  
 
2014-06-19 03:04:19 PM  

ZombieBear: I remember an incident vividly; While working at a nursing home, there was this woman who came in demanding, loudly, that the staff put an end to her mothers night time recreational activities. The staff just sat there straight faced and told the lady "Your mother is her own person, and if she wants to have sex with 5 or 6 different patients in a week, it is her own business, and we are not going to stop it." I could not tell if the woman was red from embarrassment, or red from anger, but it was hilarious.

Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...


There's same law or rule that you cannot intervene IIRC. From her time working in a nursing home, wy wife would tell me tales of walking into someone's room - the door would be open - and the old lady would be 'batin' right there on teh bed.
 
2014-06-19 03:06:25 PM  
Ah yes, not worrying about pregnancy means they're less likely to use condoms which means an uptick of AIDS and Hepatitis in retirement communities.
 
2014-06-19 03:08:32 PM  
My aunt lives in one of these communities down there, she drinks 4-5 times a week now and drives around in her golf cart everywhere. The place is crazy. I have not heard about any orgies but they party like there is no tomorrow (ha!).
Good for the old folks I say!! Have fun when you still can, a lot of you earned it.
 
2014-06-19 03:12:12 PM  

Dr Dreidel: Cerebral Knievel: Cdr.Murdock: A 49 year old man can be classified as a "boytoy"?

/not as old as I thought.....

Hell, I just turned 40, what would that make me?

Statutory.


I was kinda hoping for that "take a seat over there" guy to show up
 
2014-06-19 03:12:49 PM  

ChipNASA: [jay.mobile9.com image 240x320]


That'll do pig.
 
2014-06-19 03:14:25 PM  

gadian: Ah yes, not worrying about pregnancy means they're less likely to use condoms which means an uptick of AIDS and Hepatitis in retirement communities.


probably not enough time to develop full blown aids and at that point who cares?
 
2014-06-19 03:17:17 PM  
Apart from the STD's, this is actually great to hear. I don't want to lose my libido when I get old, and I don't want to lose opportunities to fulfil it. That said, I just hope I stay married because while I am just fine with the way my wife looks different than she did seven years and two kids ago, and I anticipate being attracted to her for many decades to come... I'm not sure I could be so enthusiastic as a septagenarian seeing another septegenarian naked for the first time.

stellarossa: ZombieBear: I remember an incident vividly; While working at a nursing home, there was this woman who came in demanding, loudly, that the staff put an end to her mothers night time recreational activities. The staff just sat there straight faced and told the lady "Your mother is her own person, and if she wants to have sex with 5 or 6 different patients in a week, it is her own business, and we are not going to stop it." I could not tell if the woman was red from embarrassment, or red from anger, but it was hilarious.

Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...


[****ing spell check strikes again I see]

There's same law or rule that you cannot intervene IIRC. From her time working in a nursing home, wy wife would tell me tales of walking into someone's room - the door would be open - and the old lady would be 'batin' right there on teh bed.

I would bloody well hope so.  Considering what even a crappy nursing home costs, they better not be trying to stop people from 'batin if that's what they want to do.
 
2014-06-19 03:17:38 PM  

chitownmike: probably not enough time to develop full blown aids and at that point who cares?


The local non-profits and health agencies trying to find ways to pay for the medication and stop the spread.
 
2014-06-19 03:18:56 PM  

LeroyBourne: My buddy worked at an old persons home and yeah, that shiat goes on.  He told me there's this old lady that broke her hip, so she was wheelchair bound, but was still all about the cack.  They'd catch her giving out handkys in the dinning room, in the day room, in the tv room.  Now normally I wouldn't give a shiat, but c'mon when families are visiting with kids around.  When telling the story in person I try and give my best zombie moan as to what the men sound like during their experience.


Did your " buddy " get a handy or is this all second hand information ?
 
2014-06-19 03:21:31 PM  

Old Man Winter: I applaud them.


Winter is coming
 
2014-06-19 03:23:04 PM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: LeroyBourne: My buddy worked at an old persons home and yeah, that shiat goes on.  He told me there's this old lady that broke her hip, so she was wheelchair bound, but was still all about the cack.  They'd catch her giving out handkys in the dinning room, in the day room, in the tv room.  Now normally I wouldn't give a shiat, but c'mon when families are visiting with kids around.  When telling the story in person I try and give my best zombie moan as to what the men sound like during their experience.

Did your " buddy " get a handy or is this all second hand information ?


No, he was one of the people that had to stop her, she was/is notorious.  He told me story years ago, so it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.
 
2014-06-19 03:25:34 PM  

LeroyBourne: it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.



Jacking off Jesus as we speak
 
2014-06-19 03:28:43 PM  
Good for them!  As long as they are having fun who cares?  Kinda makes me want to find the book.

I plan on being an old hippie in a log cabin by the lake.
 
2014-06-19 03:33:42 PM  
My folks fully retire in November. I'm pretty sure they are staying in Delaware, but still dont want to walk in on any of this.
 
2014-06-19 03:34:12 PM  

Snarfangel: Some men like to pick up cougars.
[home.midwest.net image 381x451]

Look at that shameless female, hanging on him like that!


After about 45 the correct description is saber-tooth

(Note, over-45 Cougars do not appreciate having this pointed out)
 
2014-06-19 03:35:20 PM  
Senior living doesn't sound all that bad.

Wake up, get high, go for a walk, boink one of your several friends w/benefits, score some more dope, hang at the pool, call someone else on the friends list, take a nap, maybe read some....

Sounds like being a teenager again.

/except for the being three hundred years old thing, all is well.
 
2014-06-19 03:35:37 PM  

hardinparamedic: ChipNASA: YES

ChipNASA: Brave Grand-MILF Hunter. God Bless you, Sir.

 
2014-06-19 03:37:15 PM  

cgraves67: Pregnant? Aren't most of them post-menopausal?


Apparently, you've missed the intended tone of that question. It was meant to convey that no one will be getting pregnant.
 
2014-06-19 03:38:05 PM  
Well, my vacation plans have been made.
 
2014-06-19 03:42:38 PM  

FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.


i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-06-19 03:43:27 PM  
Somewhere, off the coast of Florida...

www.reactiongifs.com

I'll probably retire somewhere in Florida, but it isn't going to be The Villages, or Del Boca Vista.  It'll be a little place, on a little canal, and I'll kayak and fish as long as my body lets me.
 
2014-06-19 03:44:50 PM  

AFKobel: FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?


Warning: Contains raunchy language that would make Mickey Mouse blush.

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/pir ate s5-700x334.jpg
 
2014-06-19 03:47:18 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 03:47:32 PM  

Nix Nightbird: If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.


You sound unmarried.
 
2014-06-19 03:53:20 PM  
anyone read this?   kind of reminds me of this retirement place (after they get their new bodies)...

www.scificool.com
 
2014-06-19 03:53:48 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-19 03:59:09 PM  

rickythepenguin: LeroyBourne: it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.


Jacking off Jesus as we speak


I lol'd.  I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.
 
2014-06-19 03:59:57 PM  

Sofa King Smart: [cdn.gifbay.com image 320x180]


Wow, I'd forgotten about that guy. So great.
 
2014-06-19 04:00:22 PM  

MemeSlave: Nix Nightbird: If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.

You sound unmarried.


Or, maybe you have a crappy sex life.

/42. Tons of great sex in my late teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.
 
2014-06-19 04:21:25 PM  
Been shopping for a retirement community for a few years.
I'm not looking for a place like that.
I intend to be a gigolo, though.
In a HUD retirement community, you have to declare income and assets, but not gifts. Like clothes, and cars, and food, and nice things. I figure, I could have a breakfast date each day with one gal, and a lunch with another. Then a dinner/dance date with lady #3. Maybe a once a month gal for farking, too. That will keep me in food and suits. Maybe a moped.
 
2014-06-19 04:31:17 PM  

ChipNASA: 51...I should go down there on a "preview tour" and see how much cash I can rake in.....because Horny and with a bank full of disposable retirement income is definitely the way to go through your golden years Grandma

/I bet I could *WRECK* that place.


Same here in age. Would definitely make a tour of the place.
 
2014-06-19 04:48:20 PM  
Oh yeah
Uh, sexy
Oh yeah
Delivering pizza on a Saturday night
I was cranking Van Halen and looking tight
Ten extra sausage went to Shady Oak Drive
I'm lucky that I left there alive
It's a gangbang
The place was packed with wrinkly boobies and dicks
The youngest one there was maybe 76
The head granny grunted and she pulled out a gun
She said we'll pay you for the pizza when we're done
It's a gangbang
Gangbang at the old folks home
One foot in the grave
Two lips on my bone
Gangbang at the old folks home
The smell of Bengay was kind of making me sick
Till someone spit out some dentures and started gumming my dick
These golden girls had really been round the block
I got a rim job from one while she was knitting some socks
Gangbang at the old folks home
Senile sex slaves are making me groan
Gangbang at the old folks home
I took her doggy and I gave her a spank
That's when I think I dislodged her oxygen tank
She fell to the floor and three seconds later
I was running for the defibrillator
Three silver foxes started licking my ass so
I twisted my nuts to keep from cumming to fast
I had my fist in a butthole til somebody said
That ain't no way to show respect for the dead
Gangbang at the old folks home
I rode a sex train with geriatric nymphos
Gangbang at the old folks home
Old folks home, yeah
 
2014-06-19 04:49:13 PM  

LeroyBourne: I lol'd. I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.



"shoot it on my tits, Jesus!  grandma needs it bad!  Granny's a dirty girl!"
 
2014-06-19 05:18:31 PM  

ZombieBear: I remember an incident vividly; While working at a nursing home, there was this woman who came in demanding, loudly, that the staff put an end to her mothers night time recreational activities. The staff just sat there straight faced and told the lady "Your mother is her own person, and if she wants to have sex with 5 or 6 different patients in a week, it is her own business, and we are not going to stop it." I could not tell if the woman was red from embarrassment, or red from anger, but it was hilarious.

Bonus, this all started because her daughter, (who only visits before work for a dozen minutes or so), had caught her mother mid-quoits. again...


I'm unclear on what finding her mother in the middle of playing a horseshoe-like ring-tossing game has to do with anything...
 
2014-06-19 05:23:13 PM  
img.fark.net
best part is they die off, so they don't get attached
 
2014-06-19 05:38:28 PM  

FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.


It probably sounds more like stirring a bowl of mac'n'cheese.
 
2014-06-19 05:55:40 PM  

dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?


fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.
 
2014-06-19 06:33:20 PM  
images4.static-bluray.com

images.amcnetworks.com
 
2014-06-19 06:41:24 PM  
OK, who let the asshole with the boombox in?

/that is not a toy!
 
2014-06-19 06:45:20 PM  

brownribbon: dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?

fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.


Hey I got an AARP solicitation in my early 20s too! It is actually one of my biggest regrets, NOT getting the card.

"Why yes I WILL be dining off the senior's menu, thanks!" Discounts galore man.
Also some day I could stand up at the AARP meeting and demand people respect my seniority because I've been a member of this fine organization for 50 years!
 
2014-06-19 06:46:33 PM  
When I think of old people doin' it, I regard it the same way I regard anyone else doin' it, regardless of age: go ahead and get your swerve on, I have no problem with it, but I don't need pictures or descriptions.
 
2014-06-19 07:39:33 PM  

NateAsbestos: brownribbon: dittybopper: FourDirections: The mere thought of wrinkly people banging each other gives me the creeps. I bet it sounds like someone rubbing sandpaper back and forth on a sidewalk.

Ugh, I just threw up into my mouth a little.

So you're going to take a vow of celibacy when you receive your AARP card in the mail?

fark, I got my first letter from AARP two years ago--at age 26.

Hey I got an AARP solicitation in my early 20s too! It is actually one of my biggest regrets, NOT getting the card.

"Why yes I WILL be dining off the senior's menu, thanks!" Discounts galore man.
Also some day I could stand up at the AARP meeting and demand people respect my seniority because I've been a member of this fine organization for 50 years!


Genius!
 
2014-06-19 07:46:56 PM  

70Ford: [images4.static-bluray.com image 728x409]

[images.amcnetworks.com image 560x331]


my favorite quote from that movie came from Wilford Brimley.  "Hey little girl, want a piece of candy?" he said to his wife as he steps into the shower she was having with his new found 'vigor'.
 
2014-06-19 08:40:17 PM  
I wish my mother and MIL had been there--I would have LOVED to hear they were partying and having a good time instead of whining and laying guilt trips on people about not visiting them.
In fact, those people in FL sound healthier than most old people I know up north who behave in an allegedly respectable manner.
 
2014-06-19 09:17:49 PM  
ts3.mm.bing.net
 
2014-06-19 10:12:36 PM  

"Your grandma's got spunk!" "Yeah, I know..." "No, I mean..."

 
2014-06-20 12:22:16 AM  

gadian: Ah yes, not worrying about pregnancy means they're less likely to use condoms which means an uptick of AIDS and Hepatitis in retirement communities.


"Oh no! You mean I have to die of AIDS in 15 years instead of dying of Alzheimers in 17 years? Whatever will I do?!"


MemeSlave: Nix Nightbird: If someone had told me, when I was in my highly active 20s, that sex would be even better and quite frequent in my 40s I would have laughed and doubted it, because I thought hitting 30 meant the end of life as I knew it.

You sound unmarried.


I was married for almost 20 years, then divorced after having NO sex whatsoever for the last four years of the marriage. After the divorce, I reconnected with someone I thought I'd lost decades earlier and I put a ring on her finger soon after that.

So it comes down to being with the right person. If you're with the right person, it doesn't get stale.

/and if you shower regularly, it doesn't get crusty.
 
2014-06-20 01:42:50 AM  
I was going to post on this but...
 
2014-06-20 02:28:00 AM  

Nix Nightbird: "Oh no! You mean I have to die of AIDS in 15 years instead of dying of Alzheimers in 17 years? Whatever will I do?!"


And in the mean time tax and overburdened already stretched resources and pose a greater risk to the community as a whole.  Look beyond the fornicating seniors here.
 
2014-06-20 02:54:59 AM  

LeroyBourne: rickythepenguin: LeroyBourne: it's entirely plausible she's dead now giving out handkys in the sky.


Jacking off Jesus as we speak

I lol'd.  I'll save you seat next to me on the bus to hell, I'll even give you the window seat.


Does anyone else think this seat is getting a bit crowded?
 
2014-06-20 07:53:14 AM  
My grandparents used to live there when it was called Orange Blossom Gardens and had one clubhouse and one nine-hole golf course.
 
2014-06-20 09:37:57 AM  

CeroX: [www.tvequals.com image 550x308]


Came by for Bob's Burgers, but going further


stream1.gifsoup.com

/slow-to-load gif
 
2014-06-20 10:59:33 AM  

AFKobel: FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?

He seems like kind of a prude.


I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...
 
2014-06-20 12:58:08 PM  

shortdarkandmeh: I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...


You have to picture it.  Then it becomes inexplicable.
 
2014-06-20 01:12:36 PM  

shortdarkandmeh: AFKobel: FTFA:  "Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush"

Uh... do you really have to work that hard to make Mickey Mouse blush?

He seems like kind of a prude.

I always thought Mickey and Goofy had a thing going. It would explain so much...


The last person who tried to explain it so much, only worked for Disney just one day.

/still can't understand who had the bright idea that Mr Cranky-pants might be a good fit for Disney.
 
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