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(New York Daily News)   How to be the horse's ass in your effort to close the Central Park carriage industry: Thank you Bill Maher   (nydailynews.com) divider line 98
    More: Dumbass  
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3343 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jun 2014 at 3:09 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-19 10:19:03 AM  
When comedians go all political they quickly become tiresome,
 
2014-06-19 11:23:24 AM  
I'd had zero opinion of the horse industry in the city if they'd clean up their shiat.
 
2014-06-19 11:33:36 AM  

James!: I'd had zero opinion of the horse industry in the city if they'd clean up their shiat.


Road apples in the Big Apple?
Horse pucky, I say.
 
2014-06-19 11:34:51 AM  
Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner
 
2014-06-19 11:42:12 AM  

NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner


Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.
 
2014-06-19 11:46:58 AM  

James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.


Wild horses are used to drag people away from their loved ones.
 
2014-06-19 11:52:35 AM  

AlwaysRightBoy: James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.

Wild horses are used to drag people away from their loved ones.


Wild horses couldn't drag me away.
 
2014-06-19 11:54:27 AM  

James!: AlwaysRightBoy: James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.

Wild horses are used to drag people away from their loved ones.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away.


We'll ride them someday
 
2014-06-19 11:58:54 AM  

James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.


Wild horses /= a domesticated breed
That's like saying a wolf doesnt want to be locked in your house and fed in a bowl
 
2014-06-19 12:02:24 PM  

NuttierThanEver: James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.

Wild horses /= a domesticated breed
That's like saying a wolf doesnt want to be locked in your house and fed in a bowl


I am totally against having domesticated dogs drag tourists around the park.
 
2014-06-19 12:04:51 PM  
Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".
 
2014-06-19 12:11:21 PM  
Yes, clearly I should take the Daily News' objective opinion on this, given that they're actively trying to "save" the carriage horse industry.

The Daily News is a shiat paper.  It's about a quarter of a step above the Post.
 
2014-06-19 12:24:24 PM  

James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".



Wow nice anthropromism
 
2014-06-19 12:24:27 PM  
I am of two minds on this.  On one hand it makes Central Park South smell like a fetid stable for those of us that have to walk by it on our day to day drudgery.

On the other hand it makes Central Park South smell like a fetid stable for those of them who can afford to live there and have day drudgers come to do their day drudging for them.
 
2014-06-19 12:29:02 PM  

James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


Sounds like somebody needs a recommendation on a new dominatrix.

I recommend House of Boot in the Village, they have reasonable day rates and quickly make you miserable but in a good way.

Ask for Mistress Stompy and tell them Lowly Worm sent you.  I get Frequent Groveler miles for customer recommendations.
 
2014-06-19 12:32:28 PM  

NuttierThanEver: James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


Wow nice anthropromism


Oh yeah, but when you stated that they "enjoy" being ridden that was just a display of your amazing powers of animal communication.

Dr. Doolittle.
 
2014-06-19 12:33:58 PM  

brap: James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".

Sounds like somebody needs a recommendation on a new dominatrix.

I recommend House of Boot in the Village, they have reasonable day rates and quickly make you miserable but in a good way.

Ask for Mistress Stompy and tell them Lowly Worm sent you.  I get Frequent Groveler miles for customer recommendations.


I actually met a dominatrix at Botanica on Houston the other day who is apparently dating a friend of mine.

The only good use of a riding crop is in a sexy way.
 
2014-06-19 01:39:34 PM  

James!: I am totally against having domesticated dogs drag tourists around the park.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Some canine friends are treated horribly, too; some intrepid reporter should investigate the lots of dogs in this country.
 
2014-06-19 01:43:48 PM  
Oh what in the chocolate covered f*ck is this happy daisy chained horsesh*t?

These are horses. They're domesticated. These are work horses. Don't get me wrong: there are animals that are grossly mistreated out there, and yeah, I have issue with treating any creature badly, but these are folks who don't like riding, they don't like sled dogs, they aren't happy with people keeping pets, and instead, have elevated their "love" of animals to the point, where they destroy thousands of animals a year to "protect" them. And Mahr has sided with these folks. Brilliant...
 
2014-06-19 02:04:33 PM  

James!: NuttierThanEver: James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


Wow nice anthropromism

Oh yeah, but when you stated that they "enjoy" being ridden that was just a display of your amazing powers of animal communication.

Dr. Doolittle.


I feel comfortable saying I can tell if animal is happy or sad. Ascribing a higher level of thinking to them to be able to determine if they feel subservient is a step I am not willing to take Dr. TrollyMcTrollerson
 
2014-06-19 02:10:57 PM  

NuttierThanEver: James!: NuttierThanEver: James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


Wow nice anthropromism

Oh yeah, but when you stated that they "enjoy" being ridden that was just a display of your amazing powers of animal communication.

Dr. Doolittle.

I feel comfortable saying I can tell if animal is happy or sad. Ascribing a higher level of thinking to them to be able to determine if they feel subservient is a step I am not willing to take Dr. TrollyMcTrollerson


Does "trained to obey" get past your pedantic wall?

And have you taken time to use your happy horse sense on the carriage horses in midtown?
 
2014-06-19 02:12:43 PM  
cdn.onegreenplanet.org
Look at him! He's just loving it out there!
 
2014-06-19 02:21:47 PM  
Argument that horses are used to pull something:  inherently bullshiat.
Argument that horses are used to pull something on a busy city street is bad:  plausible.

Build a stable in the park, limit them to interior park roads with no traffic, everybody wins.

They could tear down Tavern on the Green and put the stable there, the place is awful.
 
2014-06-19 02:22:01 PM  

James!: [cdn.onegreenplanet.org image 800x532]
Look at him! He's just loving it out there!


Good head set, relaxed posture, ears forward, looks well fed.
Horse looks fine to me, if not happy at the very least not looking downtrodden or abused.
 
2014-06-19 02:25:32 PM  

NuttierThanEver: James!: [cdn.onegreenplanet.org image 800x532]
Look at him! He's just loving it out there!

Good head set, relaxed posture, ears forward, looks well fed.
Horse looks fine to me, if not happy at the very least not looking downtrodden or abused.


All that fresh car exhaust.
 
2014-06-19 02:25:43 PM  

hubiestubert: These are horses. They're domesticated. These are work horses. Don't get me wrong: there are animals that are grossly mistreated out there, and yeah, I have issue with treating any creature badly, but these are folks who don't like riding, they don't like sled dogs, they aren't happy with people keeping pets, and instead, have elevated their "love" of animals to the point, where they destroy thousands of animals a year to "protect" them. And Mahr has sided with these folks. Brilliant...


While a fraction of the anti-carriage horse people are like that, I don't think the vast majority are.  Anti-sled dogs, maybe.  But not anti-pets.  And frankly, probably not anti-horse riding in general.  Or even anti-horse carriage in general.

I live in Queens, a couple of miles from Forest Park... a relatively large park by NYC standards (500 acres, give or take).  They have horseback riding. I've yet to hear of any anti-carriage horse advocates want to shut that down.  There are a couple of other places in the city for horseback riding, which don't seem to be targets.

This isn't a general animal rights thing.  It's simply the idea that it's dangerous and unsafe to have carriage horses working on Midtown Manhattan streets.  Obviously, hardcore animal rights people will be opposed.  But it's parallel to firearms regulation.  Some people who would otherwise be ok with firearms may be opposed to civilian individuals possessing RPGs.  People who oppose any individual possession of firearms would likewise be opposed to it.  But just because the two groups agree doesn't mean that they'd also both support making handgun possession a crime.

Yeah, I'm sure PETA and ALF folks are opposed to the carriage horses.  But not all people (myself included) are on the same page as PETA or ALF for most other things.
 
2014-06-19 02:27:58 PM  

James!: Look at him! He's just loving it out there!


He's silently judging the passenger who's actually watching Taxi TV.
 
2014-06-19 02:49:32 PM  

RodneyToady: hubiestubert: These are horses. They're domesticated. These are work horses. Don't get me wrong: there are animals that are grossly mistreated out there, and yeah, I have issue with treating any creature badly, but these are folks who don't like riding, they don't like sled dogs, they aren't happy with people keeping pets, and instead, have elevated their "love" of animals to the point, where they destroy thousands of animals a year to "protect" them. And Mahr has sided with these folks. Brilliant...

While a fraction of the anti-carriage horse people are like that, I don't think the vast majority are.  Anti-sled dogs, maybe.  But not anti-pets.  And frankly, probably not anti-horse riding in general.  Or even anti-horse carriage in general.

I live in Queens, a couple of miles from Forest Park... a relatively large park by NYC standards (500 acres, give or take).  They have horseback riding. I've yet to hear of any anti-carriage horse advocates want to shut that down.  There are a couple of other places in the city for horseback riding, which don't seem to be targets.

This isn't a general animal rights thing.  It's simply the idea that it's dangerous and unsafe to have carriage horses working on Midtown Manhattan streets.  Obviously, hardcore animal rights people will be opposed.  But it's parallel to firearms regulation.  Some people who would otherwise be ok with firearms may be opposed to civilian individuals possessing RPGs.  People who oppose any individual possession of firearms would likewise be opposed to it.  But just because the two groups agree doesn't mean that they'd also both support making handgun possession a crime.

Yeah, I'm sure PETA and ALF folks are opposed to the carriage horses.  But not all people (myself included) are on the same page as PETA or ALF for most other things.


I was referring to the PETA portion of the show.

I can understand not wanting to dodge horsesh*t in Manhattan streets. THAT is an argument that they could have gone with--and it would have seen more traction, I think. I can understand not wanting to have horses spooked by traffic--but then again, New York also has mounted police, and a fair good sized tradition with the carriages, and the horses ARE trained for that environment. It's not like these are horses plucked from the herds around Mesa Verde and then dropped into the city without any experience.

Mahr just injected himself into a debate, essentially to be a douche. Which IS his schtick, so let's give it up to him for remaining consistent...
 
2014-06-19 03:25:08 PM  
So they get rid of the horses and ship them off to the glue factory since they will cost money?
 
2014-06-19 03:25:22 PM  

James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


Don't anthropomorphize animals.  They hate that.
 
2014-06-19 03:29:33 PM  
James!: NuttierThanEver: James!: NuttierThanEver: Dear supposed animal advocates

HORSES ARE NOT PETS! They are domesticated animals bred to do work. Most of these animals enjoy being ridden or pulling carriages because it is stimulating to them as opposed to standing around in a stall or pasture all day.
Kindly STFU
A horse owner

Yeah, like how wild horses will find other animals to climb on their backs and pull around.

Wild horses /= a domesticated breed
That's like saying a wolf doesnt want to be locked in your house and fed in a bowl

I am totally against having domesticated dogs drag tourists around the park.


why?  the entertainment value would be HUGE.

Felix_T_Cat: James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".

Don't anthropomorphize animals.  They hate that.


heh.  one of the oldest jokes on fark.  still good.
 
2014-06-19 03:29:45 PM  

James!: Also, "We bred them to be subservient" isn't the same as "they like it".


A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

"Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?" It harrumphed and gurgled a bit, wriggled its hind quarters into a more comfortable position and gazed peacefully at them. Its gaze was met by looks of startled bewilderment from Arthur and Trillian, a resigned shrug from Ford Prefect and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

"Something off the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal, "Braised in a white wine sauce?"

"Er, your shoulder?" said Arthur in a horrified whisper.

"But naturally my shoulder, sir," mooed the animal contentedly, "nobody else's is mine to offer."

Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal's shoulder appreciatively.

"Or the rump is very good," murmured the animal. "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there." It gave a mellow grunt, gurgled again and started to chew the cud. It swallowed the cud again.
"Or a casserole of me perhaps?" it added.

"You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?" whispered Trillian to Ford.

"Me?" said Ford, with a glazed look in his eyes, "I don't mean anything."

"That's absolutely horrible," exclaimed Arthur, "the most revolting thing I've ever heard."

"What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump.

"I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless."

"Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod.

"That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to think about it now. I'll just ... er ..."

The Universe raged about him in its death throes.

"I think I'll just have a green salad," he muttered.

"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months."

"A green salad," said Arthur emphatically.

"A green salad?" said the animal, rolling his eyes disapprovingly at Arthur.

"Are you going to tell me," said Arthur, "that I shouldn't have green salad?"

"Well," said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly. And here I am."


www.naderlibrary.com
 
2014-06-19 03:36:45 PM  
FIVE DONKEYS POISONED
They Were Pets in Central Park, and a Former Attendant Is Accused of the Crime.


Five of the pet donkey in Central Park have been poisoned, it is alleged, by a discharged employe out of sheer spite, and many little boys and girls are well-nigh disconsolate as a result. Only one donkey. Dandy, is left, and he, poor creature, wears a most woe-begone look. Of the five dead donkeys, several had been in the Park for twenty years or more, and had carried upon their backs many hundreds of children. [NYT, July 13, 1898]

www.cardcow.com
 
2014-06-19 03:37:15 PM  

James!: [cdn.onegreenplanet.org image 800x532]
Look at him! He's just loving it out there!


The horse looks well-groomed and fed and isn't exhibiting any of the behaviors associated with horses becoming upset.

Was that a genuine comment we're all mistaking for intended sarcasm or do you just not know a single farking thing about horses?
 
2014-06-19 03:43:54 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 03:45:24 PM  
static2.wikia.nocookie.net

Wait for the sign. Then our prisoners will be released.

/You will perish in flames! You will perish in flames!
 
2014-06-19 03:45:47 PM  

Jim_Callahan: James!: [cdn.onegreenplanet.org image 800x532]
Look at him! He's just loving it out there!

The horse looks well-groomed and fed and isn't exhibiting any of the behaviors associated with horses becoming upset.

Was that a genuine comment we're all mistaking for intended sarcasm or do you just not know a single farking thing about horses?


Sure, Bill Frist, horses just love being in city traffic. I know all the other drivers sure love being stuck behind a horse.
 
2014-06-19 03:46:31 PM  
I wonder if the two of you have even been in midtown.
 
2014-06-19 03:46:41 PM  
I drive by tons of horse pens and stables every day and I'm guessing they smell a whole lot better than just about anything in New York City.
 
2014-06-19 03:53:55 PM  

RodneyToady: It's simply the idea that it's dangerous and unsafe to have carriage horses working on Midtown Manhattan streets.


It's dangerous and unsafe to have most cabbies working on Midtown Manhattan streets.  Where are their enlightened celebrity guardian-angels?
 
2014-06-19 03:56:12 PM  

GoldSpider: RodneyToady: It's simply the idea that it's dangerous and unsafe to have carriage horses working on Midtown Manhattan streets.

It's dangerous and unsafe to have most cabbies working on Midtown Manhattan streets.  Where are their enlightened celebrity guardian-angels?


Ralph Nader.  Give the horses seatbelts, airbags and surround them in steal cages and we'll be in business.
 
2014-06-19 03:57:21 PM  
There is so much to like about this thread.

/a graceless lady
 
2014-06-19 03:59:43 PM  
"Caustic comic Bill Maher wouldn't shed a tear for Boston Marathon bombing victims, but..."

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 04:01:15 PM  
Bill Maher says a lot of smart things. But this is also the guy who didn't like the Iraq war but also took a shiat all over Governor Howard Dean's campaign.
 
2014-06-19 04:02:06 PM  
My Grandfather was a milkman in Brooklyn. He delivered in a horse drawn wagon. According to Grandpa the horse did most of the work. After a while the horse had the  route memorized. Grandpa would take his load of milk into one apartment building. By the time he made it back down the horse had worked its way across the street and was waiting for my Grandpa outside the next building. MY Grandpa quit the milk business when his company switched to trucks. The job took twice as long for the same pay.

  With the truck you had to find a place to park in front of the apartment. lock the door, deliver to your apartment, come back down, unlock the truck, drive across the street and start the process all over again. Without the horse the job stopped being fun.
 
2014-06-19 04:05:44 PM  

Marquis de Sod: "Caustic comic Bill Maher wouldn't shed a tear for Boston Marathon bombing victims, but..."

[img.fark.net image 250x272]


True.  He went out of his way to trivialize them by comparing the bombing to a car accident.
 
2014-06-19 04:06:54 PM  
Godzilla isn't eating the horses, so stop worrying about it Bill.

Thanks.
 
2014-06-19 04:08:55 PM  
Mackinac Island called for you Bill. They said to be sure to visit real soon.
 
2014-06-19 04:14:54 PM  

GoldSpider


True. He went out of his way to trivialize them by comparing the bombing to a car accident.


If by "trivialize" you mean "put into perspective", then yes.

And if you read the full quote about the Boston bombing...

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2014-06-19 04:19:51 PM  
I say we get rid of the horses and replace them with rickshaws.
 
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