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(Time)   Successful people pick lame superpowers. Yes, even more lame than Aquaman   (time.com) divider line 30
    More: Stupid, Internet Explorer  
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6597 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 10:18 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-19 10:21:59 AM  
5 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.
2014-06-19 10:44:25 AM  
4 votes:
pbfcomics.com
2014-06-19 10:36:01 AM  
4 votes:

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

"Ahem.."

25.media.tumblr.com

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"
GBB
2014-06-19 12:07:47 PM  
2 votes:
i1.ytimg.com
As I look around the room, I see a lot of superheros.
You have a superpower, and ...
You have ...a ...super....
oh boy.
2014-06-19 11:19:48 AM  
2 votes:

jayessell: I'd like to know where stuff is.

Oh... My key are under that junk mail I meant to throw out.

Hey! Buried treasure!

D.B. Cooper? Dead.

They'd call me the Know Where Man!


basicinstructions.squarespace.com
Beats being Omnipresent man!
2014-06-19 10:41:28 AM  
2 votes:

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


These guys would like a word with you.

img1.wikia.nocookie.net              encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 img2.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-06-19 10:39:46 AM  
2 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

img.fark.net
2014-06-19 10:32:30 AM  
2 votes:

Snarfangel: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


What about $uperman?


He's a £oser
2014-06-19 10:27:31 AM  
2 votes:
Variable girth.
2014-06-19 10:25:13 AM  
2 votes:
Who says journalism is dead?
2014-06-19 10:22:28 AM  
2 votes:

DjangoStonereaver: I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself...


www.vastulisto.com
2014-06-19 07:05:42 PM  
1 votes:
Has anyone said they want the power of having Morgan freeman narrate their lives?

Cause that's the power I would want
2014-06-19 02:42:01 PM  
1 votes:
Yeah, go ahead. Hide in the desert for all the good it will do hiding from Cthulhu...img.fark.net
2014-06-19 02:29:36 PM  
1 votes:
I already have a superpower, having been bitten by a radioactive bug that didn't give a damn about anything.
2014-06-19 02:12:06 PM  
1 votes:

Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.


that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.
2014-06-19 01:54:48 PM  
1 votes:

ciberido: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment.

No, again, the NUMBER of photons would not decrease.   The ENERGY of each photon might decrease.  The light would probably be red-shifted into invisibility, which more or less amounts to the same net result.  Without some sort of work around, you'd have no visible light with which to see anything.

This, again, is assuming that relativity still works the way we think it does even with your time-distortion field or whatever superpower it is we're discussing.


what this is turning into.

thestashed.com
2014-06-19 12:30:02 PM  
1 votes:

Carn: SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.

This is great.  You could also control what kind of poop they pooped in their pants.  Minor infraction?  Big old log.  Bankers?  Pretty much constant projectile diarrhea.


I just haven't worked out the range/delivery issue yet.  Can I do it to anyone?  Anywhere?  Is it the sound of my voice, or some "mind wave"?  I guess I'd take it how ever I could get it.  Would be a shame not to be able to cause deaf people to crap themselves though..... might even be discrimination.
2014-06-19 11:56:22 AM  
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


I too want to be a Dungeon Master
2014-06-19 11:43:00 AM  
1 votes:
I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.
2014-06-19 10:57:04 AM  
1 votes:
The power to score with other superheroes' wives.

/how about the power.... to move you?
2014-06-19 10:50:20 AM  
1 votes:

DjangoStonereaver: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

"Ahem.."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"


Hmm the combined wealth of Bruce wayne and tony stark. Iron Batman the drunk knight.
2014-06-19 10:40:17 AM  
1 votes:
Time travel and shapeshifting. I'd go back in time, shapeshift to Paris and sex with Helen of Troy
2014-06-19 10:40:11 AM  
1 votes:
2014-06-19 10:39:29 AM  
1 votes:
I see the intelligent people have already pointed out that telekinesis is the best power.

Although, I would also accept "plot armor".
2014-06-19 10:38:02 AM  
1 votes:

Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!


You'll end up caught off guard while you're monologuing.
2014-06-19 10:35:49 AM  
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?



"My superpower is to get three more superpowers."

/If it works for djinn and their wishes, why not superpowers?
2014-06-19 10:33:16 AM  
1 votes:
Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?
2014-06-19 10:24:13 AM  
1 votes:
i291.photobucket.com

/getting a lot of mileage outta this one the past few days
2014-06-19 10:23:35 AM  
1 votes:
Interview answer, I want the ability to work well on multiple projects, meet deadlines and fill out my time card.

Real answer, be Sylar from Heroes
2014-06-19 09:27:40 AM  
1 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.
 
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