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(Time)   Successful people pick lame superpowers. Yes, even more lame than Aquaman   (time.com) divider line 24
    More: Stupid, Internet Explorer  
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6562 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 10:18 AM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-19 10:23:29 AM
6 votes:
Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.
2014-06-19 09:16:24 AM
5 votes:
Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.
2014-06-19 10:36:01 AM
3 votes:

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

"Ahem.."

25.media.tumblr.com

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"
2014-06-19 10:44:15 AM
2 votes:

sjmcc13: GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.

Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.


Teleport is good, especially if you can teleport lots of stuff and/or teleport really far.   Moonbase in a week and a controlling interest in international shipping, anyone?

toraque: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.


Shapeshifting good, biomancy better.  Not only can you change yourself, you can change your frumpy groupie into Christina Hendricks (for which she'll be grateful enough to do that thing even groupies were saying no to).  And AFTER you sate your horrifying, unspeakable lusts you can become Jesus.

No really, you have the power to heal with a touch.  You can give sight to the blind, give a crippled veteran his legs back, turn a man into a fully-functional and actually pretty woman, and  even if you charge a fee they will worship the farking ground you walk on.

Then you can grow angel wings (which won't work because of geometry) turn yourself into a birdA FARKING DRAGON (which...might work?) and fly to France because "Fark you, I'm a dragon!"
2014-06-19 10:24:13 AM
2 votes:
i291.photobucket.com

/getting a lot of mileage outta this one the past few days
2014-06-19 06:26:22 PM
1 votes:
The correct answer to this is "Lantern Ring".

Let's go down what a Ring gives the wearer who controls it right:

Flight
Limited Invulnerability
Ability to construct whatever one imagines.
Direct blasts of energy, which can be molded into whatever frequency or intensity you want (So, Fighting Superman? Green K beam!)
Direct access to a nearly infinite knowledge base (think Wikipedia: Galactic Edition just by asking the Ring)
Space/Aquatic survival.

Your only limits are keep the battery close by.
2014-06-19 12:19:18 PM
1 votes:

Joe USer: DjangoStonereaver: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.

You'll need a good battle cry.


Pity the best one's been taken:

3.bp.blogspot.com

I'll go with -burp- then.
2014-06-19 12:06:01 PM
1 votes:
When my daughter was young, I discovered the truly horrible reboot of The Electric Company on PBS. The characters all have some sort of magic powers related to spelling. (Yes, really.) One, or maybe all, of the characters can magically rearrange letters on signs and grafitti at will. I'd choose that power. I would cause no end of mischief, and finally be able to silence the voices in my head. Seriously, multiple times a day I see something printed and think how much better it would be if it said something slightly different.

Failing that, I'll have plot armor.
2014-06-19 11:56:22 AM
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


I too want to be a Dungeon Master
2014-06-19 11:53:01 AM
1 votes:

Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.


My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

First, that gives you teleportation (from everyone else's perspective), and super speed.

If you have a positive view of the future, then time travel beat all other powers... because eventually all other possible powers would be discovered and analyzed.

Immortality?  Just jump far enough into the future that they've fixed what ails you/install you in a computer/do whatever.

Invulnerablility?  Jump far enough into the future they've designed Iron Man suits.  Or figured out genetic modification...

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

The central conflict with this power is: what do I skip over/how much do I skip forward?  You can't go back and try again if you overshoot or miss some Golden Age of Humanity.

Also, you get the benefit of having slow-motion-capture on demand.  It'd be like that show on Discovery, but whenever you wanted.
2014-06-19 11:47:30 AM
1 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I would NOT want flight. If the power worked that you had to exert energy to fly, similar to running, you wild tire and fall to the ground. If you fly too high, the thin air would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If you fly too fast, the G-forces would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If a bird happens to fly in front of you while fly fast, it couls case major injury and likely cause you to fall to the ground. Flying through bad weather would cause you to be too cold or get hit by lightning.

There are too many things that could go wrong.
2014-06-19 11:09:02 AM
1 votes:
the power or persuasion

i can convince anyone to give me whatever i want, or do whatever i want or need at anytime.
2014-06-19 11:06:15 AM
1 votes:

Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.


The problem with being a badass is that people will constantly put that to the test.

The problem with being (near) immortal is that you can be thrown in a hole forever.  And everyone you care about dies first.

Fark all that, go with teleportation.
2014-06-19 10:54:59 AM
1 votes:
Everyone always picks flight, telekinesis, or invisibility.  I'd simply go with whatever super powers Jesus had.  Because Jesus was way cool.

He turned water into wine and if he wanted to he could have turned wheat into marijuana.

Plus there's that whole healing and raising the dead thing, and let's face it, that would be pretty cool too.
2014-06-19 10:44:25 AM
1 votes:
pbfcomics.com
2014-06-19 10:44:03 AM
1 votes:
The Zack Morris "Time-Out"
2014-06-19 10:41:28 AM
1 votes:

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


These guys would like a word with you.

img1.wikia.nocookie.net              encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 img2.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-06-19 10:28:28 AM
1 votes:
Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.
2014-06-19 10:26:46 AM
1 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Telekensis, so long as I can also lift myself (Thus, flight)
2014-06-19 10:25:00 AM
1 votes:

GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.


Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.

Though if you are not fighting crime, then knowing major stock market changes a day or so in advance would be great as well..
2014-06-19 10:23:35 AM
1 votes:
Interview answer, I want the ability to work well on multiple projects, meet deadlines and fill out my time card.

Real answer, be Sylar from Heroes
2014-06-19 10:22:33 AM
1 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Nonsense. Teleportation is way better than flying. Invisibility on demand is also pretty damned cool
2014-06-19 10:21:59 AM
1 votes:

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.
2014-06-19 10:20:17 AM
1 votes:
Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.
 
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