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(Time)   Successful people pick lame superpowers. Yes, even more lame than Aquaman   (time.com) divider line 219
    More: Stupid, Internet Explorer  
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6612 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 10:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



219 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-19 09:16:24 AM  
Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.
 
2014-06-19 09:27:40 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.
 
2014-06-19 10:20:17 AM  
Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.
 
2014-06-19 10:21:59 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.
 
2014-06-19 10:22:26 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.



What if they answered "intelligence"?
 
2014-06-19 10:22:28 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself...


www.vastulisto.com
 
2014-06-19 10:22:33 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Nonsense. Teleportation is way better than flying. Invisibility on demand is also pretty damned cool
 
2014-06-19 10:23:29 AM  
Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.
 
2014-06-19 10:23:35 AM  
Interview answer, I want the ability to work well on multiple projects, meet deadlines and fill out my time card.

Real answer, be Sylar from Heroes
 
2014-06-19 10:24:13 AM  
i291.photobucket.com

/getting a lot of mileage outta this one the past few days
 
2014-06-19 10:25:00 AM  

GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.


Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.

Though if you are not fighting crime, then knowing major stock market changes a day or so in advance would be great as well..
 
2014-06-19 10:25:13 AM  
Who says journalism is dead?
 
2014-06-19 10:25:58 AM  

MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.


If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.
 
2014-06-19 10:26:46 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Telekensis, so long as I can also lift myself (Thus, flight)
 
2014-06-19 10:27:09 AM  
Telekinesis.  Without a doubt.
 
2014-06-19 10:27:31 AM  
Variable girth.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:05 AM  
I'll take the Path to Victory, thanks.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:26 AM  
Invisibility, hands down...

oh the mayhem I would cause
 
2014-06-19 10:28:28 AM  
Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:46 AM  

R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.


No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.
 
2014-06-19 10:29:56 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


fark flight. Give me a Green Lantern ring.
 
2014-06-19 10:30:13 AM  

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.



What about $uperman?
 
2014-06-19 10:32:30 AM  

Snarfangel: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


What about $uperman?


He's a £oser
 
2014-06-19 10:33:16 AM  
Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?
 
2014-06-19 10:34:27 AM  
If given a chance to pick three out of a bunch on a list, here is what i would choose in no particualr order:

1) Be able to predict the future. (I can invest in the stock market and play the lottery.)
2) Be able to teleport.
3) To shapeshift. (Make myself look like a bodybuilder, a model, etc.)

This is only if I cannot pick the "unlimited wishes" option.
 
2014-06-19 10:34:34 AM  
Time travel.

You don't have to be good at anything when you can just keep doing it over again until you get it right.
 
2014-06-19 10:35:49 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?



"My superpower is to get three more superpowers."

/If it works for djinn and their wishes, why not superpowers?
 
2014-06-19 10:36:01 AM  

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

"Ahem.."

25.media.tumblr.com

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"
 
2014-06-19 10:36:16 AM  

INeedAName: Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.


That depends on the smallest particle you can effectively manipulate and how much energy you are able to exert by telekinesis. If you only get enough power to close the fridge from across the kitchen, you won't be stopping any bullets or bend light. Which is why everyone should take care to always be specific when wishing for a super power.

/I wish I had telekinesis.
//Your wish is my Command!
///But I can barely lift a dime with my mind!
 
2014-06-19 10:36:31 AM  
super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!
 
2014-06-19 10:37:21 AM  
Flight.  Oddly enough, I occasionally have dreams about this.
Teleportation would be good too.  It would make my commute easier.
Invulnerability would be up there too.  Especially if something goes wrong with the first two.  It would suck to be vulnerable, and teleport inside a brick wall.
 
2014-06-19 10:38:02 AM  

Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!


You'll end up caught off guard while you're monologuing.
 
2014-06-19 10:39:01 AM  
Mind-reading
Shape-shifting (which covers flight)
Teleportation
If you get four go for invincibility but it starts to sound like cheating at that point.
 
2014-06-19 10:39:29 AM  
I see the intelligent people have already pointed out that telekinesis is the best power.

Although, I would also accept "plot armor".
 
2014-06-19 10:39:46 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 10:40:11 AM  
 
2014-06-19 10:40:17 AM  
Time travel and shapeshifting. I'd go back in time, shapeshift to Paris and sex with Helen of Troy
 
2014-06-19 10:40:42 AM  
Pyrokinesis you sissies.

// I just want to watch the world burn.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:00 AM  

Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!


If we're going to be like that, I'd rather have super self motivating powers. I'm already a reasonably lazy slacker, who knows how unmotivated I would get if I ever got that much brain power.

Or at least wish for knowledge, intelligence is nice but ultimately useless if you have to spend the next 20 years studying everything just to get the knowledge you need.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:03 AM  

Cheron: Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?

can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

[img.fark.net image 432x640]



That's too much cock for one man to handle.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:14 AM  
Don't "breh" me if you don't "meh" me.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:28 AM  

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


These guys would like a word with you.

img1.wikia.nocookie.net              encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-19 10:41:30 AM  
Shows what you know, subby.

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-06-19 10:42:53 AM  
Yeah, unlimited knowledge. I can give myself the other superpowers after the fact.
 
2014-06-19 10:43:19 AM  
DjangoStonereaver:

Damn you and damn my slow office internet
 
2014-06-19 10:43:30 AM  
Right.  Batman, Robin, you find some way to block future transmissions.  Wonder Woman, you stop Dr. Spiker, and find out
what he knows.  Flash, run to the Andes Mountains, and get those plants.  I'll go stop the missiles that have already been launched.  Aquaman,
you go...  talk to some fish!
 
2014-06-19 10:43:38 AM  

Kit Fister: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

fark flight. Give me a Green Lantern ring.


This, except without the asshole Guardians that are pretty much more evil than some of the badguys.  I want space travel.

/first human to travel to mars, Jupiter....
 
2014-06-19 10:44:03 AM  
The Zack Morris "Time-Out"
 
2014-06-19 10:44:15 AM  

sjmcc13: GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.

Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.


Teleport is good, especially if you can teleport lots of stuff and/or teleport really far.   Moonbase in a week and a controlling interest in international shipping, anyone?

toraque: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.


Shapeshifting good, biomancy better.  Not only can you change yourself, you can change your frumpy groupie into Christina Hendricks (for which she'll be grateful enough to do that thing even groupies were saying no to).  And AFTER you sate your horrifying, unspeakable lusts you can become Jesus.

No really, you have the power to heal with a touch.  You can give sight to the blind, give a crippled veteran his legs back, turn a man into a fully-functional and actually pretty woman, and  even if you charge a fee they will worship the farking ground you walk on.

Then you can grow angel wings (which won't work because of geometry) turn yourself into a birdA FARKING DRAGON (which...might work?) and fly to France because "Fark you, I'm a dragon!"
 
2014-06-19 10:44:25 AM  
pbfcomics.com
 
2014-06-19 10:44:46 AM  

DerAppie: INeedAName: Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.

That depends on the smallest particle you can effectively manipulate and how much energy you are able to exert by telekinesis. If you only get enough power to close the fridge from across the kitchen, you won't be stopping any bullets or bend light. Which is why everyone should take care to always be specific when wishing for a super power.

/I wish I had telekinesis.
//Your wish is my Command!
///But I can barely lift a dime with my mind!


In the movie The Specials, one of the characters had invulnerable skin. In the DVD commentary, it was pointed out that this was actually a horrible power, because it was only the skin that was invulnerable. Contemplate that for a minute.

So yeah, we're all assuming that the power comes with the necessary secondary powers, and at a sufficiently high level to be worth having.
 
2014-06-19 10:45:07 AM  

toraque: Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.


But how can you shapeshift into something you haven't seen? Also, if you want to be anatomically correct where, er, how, er how will, um, you know?
 
2014-06-19 10:45:58 AM  
I'd like the ability to caption what anyone is saying into English, regardless of their language.

/hard of hearing
//would make me a hell of a spy or diplomat
 
2014-06-19 10:46:09 AM  

MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.


Bingo. If doggedness and curiosity are superpowers now the species is truly doomed.

As for bonafide superpowers I'm not sure which one to pick. The ability to eat whatever I want and lose weight comes immediately to mind, but that could prove to be a curse. And why does it have to be only one? Superman had invulnerability to everything but kryptonite, excessive strength, the ability to fly without flapping his ams, Xray vision and no need for oxygen; there are a few good ones missing but a smart superhero could find a way to compensate. And as anybody can tell you I'm a real smart feller.

OTOH I'd have no need for a superpower if a good woman's love redeemed me. Line forms here!
 
2014-06-19 10:46:24 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


www.blogcdn.com
 
2014-06-19 10:46:40 AM  

Russ1642: Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!

You'll end up caught off guard while you're monologuing.


^^  this


I'd like to have a bunch of powers obviously but...I think my top 3 would be, in no particular order:

*  Telepath/Telekinesis
*  Teleportation
*  Ability to absorb/take away people's powers and use them for myself or others


My 'main' was a Kinetics/Radiation Blast Defender in City of Heroes.  Mmmm...Siphon Speed, Speed Boost and Fulcrum Shift.  :D
 
2014-06-19 10:46:52 AM  

Amelia Earhart's Black Box: toraque: Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.

But how can you shapeshift into something you haven't seen? Also, if you want to be anatomically correct where, er, how, er how will, um, you know?


I am going to hazard a guess that he is going to keep atleast one of his original parts...
 
2014-06-19 10:48:20 AM  
I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.
 
2014-06-19 10:49:27 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Shows what you know, subby.

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 850x695]


I live in the desert, so unless he also has tornado powers, his angry sharks are useless.
 
2014-06-19 10:50:20 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

"Ahem.."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"


Hmm the combined wealth of Bruce wayne and tony stark. Iron Batman the drunk knight.
 
2014-06-19 10:50:32 AM  
Invulnerability is the most double-edged of super powers.  There are times when death is definitely preferable to living.  You can easily wind up in your own little Hell of eternal suffering without release.

I'd go for teleportation.
 
2014-06-19 10:50:47 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

"Ahem.."

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"


I was surprised it took that long for the challenge to be taken up.

"Where does he get all those wonderful toys?"
 
2014-06-19 10:51:06 AM  

Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.


and the probability that you will somehow become incapacitated approaches 100% (fall down a deep hole, trapped under immovable object, etc..)
 
2014-06-19 10:51:46 AM  
1.invulnerability

2. immense strength

3. flight

4. invisibility

5.  telekinesis
 
2014-06-19 10:52:26 AM  

stevetherobot: Satanic_Hamster: Shows what you know, subby.

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 850x695]

I live in the desert, so unless he also has tornado powers, his angry sharks are useless.


That would depend on the range of the lasers, wouldn't it?
 
2014-06-19 10:52:33 AM  

sleep lack: Karl Pilkington - Bullshiat man


I like Karl. His two "friends" are assholes.
 
2014-06-19 10:54:59 AM  
Everyone always picks flight, telekinesis, or invisibility.  I'd simply go with whatever super powers Jesus had.  Because Jesus was way cool.

He turned water into wine and if he wanted to he could have turned wheat into marijuana.

Plus there's that whole healing and raising the dead thing, and let's face it, that would be pretty cool too.
 
2014-06-19 10:55:08 AM  
I chose the long sought after TCP/IP Cockpunch Protocol.

"U mad brah?"
"Shoryuken!"
"What...OH GOD MY JIMMIES HAVE NEVER BEEN SO RUSTLED!"

Overnight the internet would become a better place.  The only problem would be the lack of sleep.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-19 10:55:17 AM  

Snarfangel: Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


"My superpower is to get three more superpowers."

/If it works for djinn and their wishes, why not superpowers?


If we're truly expanding, I wish to be a clinically immortal race like a dragon or an elf (also pointy ears are hot) with shapeshifting abilities, and was a high-level wizard/cleric/mystic theurge with ALL of the spells and epic-level magical gear.

But at that point you're getting boring, better to stick with just one power and ways to abuse/stretch the fark out of that one power.
 
2014-06-19 10:56:09 AM  
Game of Thrones style "Warging".   The ability to take over the body of any other living thing.
 
2014-06-19 10:57:04 AM  
The power to score with other superheroes' wives.

/how about the power.... to move you?
 
2014-06-19 10:57:07 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

and the probability that you will somehow become incapacitated approaches 100% (fall down a deep hole, trapped under immovable object, etc..)


In your situation, I just wait for a few years for evetual rescue or try to dig my way out or something.

I remember reading a short story about someone who obtained immortality. Basically it was fun for the first million years until the planet he was on was hit by a meteor and exploded. He then drifted for billions of years in space, occasionnally falling on another planet, almost always devoid of life, until it explodes in a similar manner or a star until it goes supernova.

I am ok with the risk of that happening.
 
2014-06-19 10:57:08 AM  
www.edp24.co.uk
/Giant cock thread?
 
2014-06-19 10:57:19 AM  
I would like teleporting or Magnetos powers, that would be pretty cool to control metal like that.
 
2014-06-19 10:59:18 AM  

Snarfangel: Cheron: Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?

can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

[img.fark.net image 432x640]


That's too much cock for one man to handle.


z.hubpages.com

"Challenge... accepted!"
 
2014-06-19 10:59:45 AM  
The ability to generate a superpower at will, whenever needed.

With a caveat, though. No super-de-dooper-powers when drunk. That would cause no end of trouble.
 
2014-06-19 11:00:11 AM  

pnome: Game of Thrones style "Warging".   The ability to take over the body of any other living thing.


That is a good one, I liked the way they did it in the Denzel Washington movie Fallen.
 
2014-06-19 11:00:28 AM  

pnome: Game of Thrones style "Warging".   The ability to take over the body of any other living thing.


The shape shifting assassin is pretty bad-ass.  Glad he'll be back next season too.  He's my second favorite character next to Littlefinger.
 
2014-06-19 11:03:35 AM  

DerAppie: Telek


Having enough telekinetic power to close a fridge from across the room would make you an effective assassin. Stop a person's heart, pinch a vein and cause a stroke, or go for the classic Darth Vader force choke.
 
2014-06-19 11:04:02 AM  
Teleportation for me, but barring that I could go for the power that girl had in the new X-men movie where she essentially could make portal gun style holes in time-space.  That way anybody can come on my teleportation journeys with me.  Either way, no waiting for air travel or commuting ever again.

Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.  I'd rack up a crapload of legal winnings at casinos this way, best bet would be maybe try and go high roller on a few roulette wheels until I hit big.  $1000 x 35 a few times would add up.
 
2014-06-19 11:04:46 AM  
Actually, this question needs more defined terms. Are a bunch of people getting powers or just me? If 1 in 1000 people or somesuch are supers all of a sudden that's going mean a different pick than if I'm solo.
 
2014-06-19 11:06:08 AM  

sjmcc13: Though if you are not fighting crime, then knowing major stock market changes a day or so in advance would be great as well..


Well, there's a rub here.  You would end up with a temporal causality paradox caused by a form of the Observer Effect.  The act of knowing what the outcomes will be, it will be impossible to avoid that knowledge having some affect on the outcome, negating the advantage of the foreknowledge.   The further in advance the outcome is known, the larger effect the knowledge, or any act based upon that knowledge, will affect the outcome.

If you know that in two days, American Airlines stock is going to drop 50% on market open, and you sell (or short sell) stock due to this, that sale will have an effect on the outcome.  The larger the position, the larger the effect.

Then consider the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Lets say that you know the outcome (50% loss on open).  But you don't know why.  Are you going to get anywhere near an AA flight, or AA terminal in the next two days?  Are you going to go into any government buildings? Are you going to let your loved ones do so, and will they also stop their loved ones? Does that fear start rumors, ripple out to the markets, and send investors running on fears that something majorly bad will happen.  Did your knowledge that there was going to be a 50% drop, actually cause the 50% drop?

That's a whole can of worms.

/too much Star Trek
 
2014-06-19 11:06:15 AM  

Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.


The problem with being a badass is that people will constantly put that to the test.

The problem with being (near) immortal is that you can be thrown in a hole forever.  And everyone you care about dies first.

Fark all that, go with teleportation.
 
2014-06-19 11:07:59 AM  

Barnstormer: The ability to generate a superpower at will, whenever needed.

With a caveat, though. No super-de-dooper-powers when drunk. That would cause no end of trouble.


Oldie but goodie:

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window". The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.
The second guy says, "What, are you nuts? There's no way that could happen. "No, its true," the first man says. "Let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." "No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.
"Well, why not." the second guy says, "It works. I'll try it." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. . . . . and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT.
Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk".
 
2014-06-19 11:09:02 AM  
the power or persuasion

i can convince anyone to give me whatever i want, or do whatever i want or need at anytime.
 
2014-06-19 11:10:45 AM  
I'd like to know where stuff is.

Oh... My key are under that junk mail I meant to throw out.

Hey! Buried treasure!

D.B. Cooper? Dead.

They'd call me the Know Where Man!
 
2014-06-19 11:11:49 AM  
Shapeshifting for sure. You could be a bird or a fish or a bug. I'd retain my human intelligence though, right?
 
2014-06-19 11:11:56 AM  
Invulnerability would pretty much be the best super-power. You could have any of the other super-powers, and would likely die as a result of something or the other. Now having pretty much any other super-power combined with invulnerability is where it's at. Invulnerability + Teleportation, Invulnerability + Super Strength, Invulnerability + Flight, Invulnerability + Flight, etc. The question, more than anything is what would you want to DO with your super-power? Arguably, the very first thing that most folks would do with any super-power would be to exploit it and actually become villains. Teleportation? Teleport into a bank vault and out. Super Strength? Beat the shiat out of people you hate. Flight? Go to places you aren't supposed to be. Invisibility? Steal something, be somewhere you aren't supposed to be, or well...sex.

The list goes on but pretty much any use of a super-power for "good" would be almost certainly AFTER the bad.
 
2014-06-19 11:12:31 AM  
Just saw this last week too. A comic strip of some sort where three people were given super powers.
To the first (guy): "I give you ... super strength!"
To the second (gal): "I give you ... clean break poop. Every time you have to go, nothing but net, and so clean you'll never have to wipe."
To the third (guy): "You will never say, 'you too' when a waiter asks you to enjoy your meal."

(second and third high-five)
First guy: Can I get a do-over?
 
2014-06-19 11:14:14 AM  

duffman13: Teleportation for me, but barring that I could go for the power that girl had in the new X-men movie where she essentially could make portal gun style holes in time-space.  That way anybody can come on my teleportation journeys with me.  Either way, no waiting for air travel or commuting ever again.

Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.  I'd rack up a crapload of legal winnings at casinos this way, best bet would be maybe try and go high roller on a few roulette wheels until I hit big.  $1000 x 35 a few times would add up.


That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. If you're alone, all well and good, but if powers are a Thing all of a sudden the casino will know to watch for that stuff and have literally superhumanly intelligent people dividing ways to catch you and suddenly instead of winning million you're getting dragged out by Lenny and shot in both knees.
 
2014-06-19 11:17:21 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


And that the giant cock is not part of the invisibility.
Look up in the sky it's.... HOLY FARK IT'S A GIANT FLYING COCK!
 
2014-06-19 11:17:24 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I'd choose powers of the Goddamned Batman.

\it's whatever I need it to be
 
2014-06-19 11:18:31 AM  

barefoot in the head: Variable girth.


Why do you think anyone puts up with Reed Richards?

\it ain't his winning personality
 
2014-06-19 11:18:46 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


That hasn't made my life much easier.

It just makes lying to me, cheating on me, betraying me and breaking my heart more fun.

EIP!
 
2014-06-19 11:19:13 AM  
You all lack imagination. I want the power to save and reload
 
2014-06-19 11:19:48 AM  

jayessell: I'd like to know where stuff is.

Oh... My key are under that junk mail I meant to throw out.

Hey! Buried treasure!

D.B. Cooper? Dead.

They'd call me the Know Where Man!


basicinstructions.squarespace.com
Beats being Omnipresent man!
 
2014-06-19 11:20:28 AM  

studebaker hoch: Time travel.


This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.
 
2014-06-19 11:21:27 AM  
My top three

1.Invisibility
2.teleportation
3.invincibility
 
2014-06-19 11:22:46 AM  

MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.


I was going to say, it sounds like they all answered with some bs version of "I don't want to answer that question, so I'll answer a completely different question instead."
 
2014-06-19 11:23:04 AM  

the money is in the banana stand: Arguably, the very first thing that most folks would do with any super-power would be to exploit it and actually become villains. Teleportation? Teleport into a bank vault and out. Super Strength? Beat the shiat out of people you hate. Flight? Go to places you aren't supposed to be. Invisibility? Steal something, be somewhere you aren't supposed to be, or well...sex.

The list goes on but pretty much any use of a super-power for "good" would be almost certainly AFTER the bad.


Actually, uh. As goofy as this sounds, if I got flight? The first thing I'm going to do is find a really, really big field of dandelions in bloom, and then fly really low to the ground, really, really fast.
/Yes, I do still have a REALLY strong inner five year old.


smd31: Russ1642: Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!

You'll end up caught off guard while you're monologuing.

^^  this


I'd like to have a bunch of powers obviously but...I think my top 3 would be, in no particular order:

*  Telepath/Telekinesis
*  Teleportation
*  Ability to absorb/take away people's powers and use them for myself or others


My 'main' was a Kinetics/Radiation Blast Defender in City of Heroes.  Mmmm...Siphon Speed, Speed Boost and Fulcrum Shift.  :D


Goddamnit. Miss that game so, so much.

/Fire-Ice blaster, more for theme than anything.
//Was starting up a Fire/Time corrupter through Pratoria, to become a hero, when the hammer came down...
 
2014-06-19 11:26:21 AM  

Barnstormer: The ability to generate a superpower at will, whenever needed.

With a caveat, though. No super-de-dooper-powers when drunk. That would cause no end of trouble.


*Scene: A roof top bar in NYC*
First Guy Sitting at Bar: "Hey, you know the winds between skyscrapers here in New York are so strong you can fall off a roof and they will blow you right back up."
Second Guy sitting at Bar: "No way."
First Guy: "No, really.  Here watch."
First guy steps over the side of the building, and a few seconds later comes floating back up and settles gently to the roof.
Second Guy: "Whoa!  That is so cool!  I gotta try this." *Steps off side of roof*
Bartender: "Superman, you're a mean drunk."
 
2014-06-19 11:27:26 AM  

Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.


I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.
 
2014-06-19 11:27:30 AM  
Why is it none of these upper management douches picked common sense?
 
2014-06-19 11:28:55 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.


You'll need a good battle cry.
 
2014-06-19 11:29:10 AM  

Cheron: Interview answer, I want the ability to work well on multiple projects, meet deadlines and fill out my time card.

Real answer, be Sylar from Heroes


Wait.... if you're psychopathically evil it would be great to have Sylar's ability in the World of Heroes, where there are plenty of people to mine abilities from, but in this world, getting Sylar's ability gets you ... no where special.

I suppose there's an argument that you could mine normal people's brains and become super smart about all things normal....
 
2014-06-19 11:30:36 AM  

Ned Stark: duffman13: Teleportation for me, but barring that I could go for the power that girl had in the new X-men movie where she essentially could make portal gun style holes in time-space.  That way anybody can come on my teleportation journeys with me.  Either way, no waiting for air travel or commuting ever again.

Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.  I'd rack up a crapload of legal winnings at casinos this way, best bet would be maybe try and go high roller on a few roulette wheels until I hit big.  $1000 x 35 a few times would add up.

That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. If you're alone, all well and good, but if powers are a Thing all of a sudden the casino will know to watch for that stuff and have literally superhumanly intelligent people dividing ways to catch you and suddenly instead of winning million you're getting dragged out by Lenny and shot in both knees.


But you could rewind time 30 seconds and they'd never be able to catch you in the first place. You'd end up being like (to the outside observer) Nick Cage in that movie Knowing.
 
2014-06-19 11:31:07 AM  

sendtodave: Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

The problem with being a badass is that people will constantly put that to the test.

The problem with being (near) immortal is that you can be thrown in a hole forever.  And everyone you care about dies first.


One of the awesome side benefits of being a shapeshifter like Mystique is that, when you got tired of being a superhero, you could just make yourself look like some anonymous average person and take a day off.  Nobody would know it was you, so your vacation wouldn't be interrupted by assassins who tracked you down or fans seeking autographs.

Also shapeshifting would seem to go pretty logically with being unaging, which would be another benefit.
 
2014-06-19 11:32:44 AM  
Mind control is the only way to go.

Invisibility? "You don't see me."
Flight? Get a pilot to take you where you want to go.
Invulnerability? "Don't attack me."

toraque:
Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

"I am Bill Clinton."

About the only thing mind control doesn't cover is interaction with the actual environment, but you can probably get people to do what you need to handle that.
 
2014-06-19 11:33:12 AM  

mongbiohazard: Ned Stark: duffman13: Teleportation for me, but barring that I could go for the power that girl had in the new X-men movie where she essentially could make portal gun style holes in time-space.  That way anybody can come on my teleportation journeys with me.  Either way, no waiting for air travel or commuting ever again.

Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.  I'd rack up a crapload of legal winnings at casinos this way, best bet would be maybe try and go high roller on a few roulette wheels until I hit big.  $1000 x 35 a few times would add up.

That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. If you're alone, all well and good, but if powers are a Thing all of a sudden the casino will know to watch for that stuff and have literally superhumanly intelligent people dividing ways to catch you and suddenly instead of winning million you're getting dragged out by Lenny and shot in both knees.

But you could rewind time 30 seconds and they'd never be able to catch you in the first place. You'd end up being like (to the outside observer) Nick Cage in that movie Knowing.


I believe you are thinking the Nicholas Cage movie "Next". "Knowing" was another Cage movie where everyone dies, including Cage.
 
2014-06-19 11:36:12 AM  
I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.
 
2014-06-19 11:36:41 AM  

GDubDub: sjmcc13: Though if you are not fighting crime, then knowing major stock market changes a day or so in advance would be great as well..

Well, there's a rub here.  You would end up with a temporal causality paradox caused by a form of the Observer Effect.  The act of knowing what the outcomes will be, it will be impossible to avoid that knowledge having some affect on the outcome, negating the advantage of the foreknowledge.   The further in advance the outcome is known, the larger effect the knowledge, or any act based upon that knowledge, will affect the outcome.

If you know that in two days, American Airlines stock is going to drop 50% on market open, and you sell (or short sell) stock due to this, that sale will have an effect on the outcome.  The larger the position, the larger the effect.

Then consider the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Lets say that you know the outcome (50% loss on open).  But you don't know why.  Are you going to get anywhere near an AA flight, or AA terminal in the next two days?  Are you going to go into any government buildings? Are you going to let your loved ones do so, and will they also stop their loved ones? Does that fear start rumors, ripple out to the markets, and send investors running on fears that something majorly bad will happen.  Did your knowledge that there was going to be a 50% drop, actually cause the 50% drop?

That's a whole can of worms.

/too much Star Trek


There can be only one... Kwisatz Haderach
 
2014-06-19 11:41:25 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


www.hospitalwing.com

I'm a goddamn superhero!
 
2014-06-19 11:43:00 AM  
I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.
 
2014-06-19 11:43:14 AM  

durbnpoisn: It would suck to be vulnerable, and teleport inside a brick wall.


But of you also had a giant cock...

Mad_Season: Pyrokinesis you sissies.

// I just want to watch the world burn.


"Give me what I want or I'll make the burning of Dresden look like a melting ice cream at Disney World."

"What is it you want?"

"I'm not sure yet. Bring me a little of everything."

DerAppie: Or at least wish for knowledge, intelligence is nice but ultimately useless if you have to spend the next 20 years studying everything just to get the knowledge you need.


You have a point. I've been studying for decades and look where it got me.


duffman13: Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.


Wow, then I might last for 33 seconds!

KoolAidDust: the power of persuasion

i can convince anyone to give me whatever i want, or do whatever i want or need at anytime.


"You know Megarian, it wouldn't kill you to hold me captive for one measly weekend..."
 
2014-06-19 11:44:47 AM  
I suppose I'd like the power to be free of unrealistic, narcissistic and sociopathic fantasies and desires.

Oh, wait,...have that already.

/jk
 
2014-06-19 11:47:21 AM  

stonicus: I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.


Meh, I just wield Mindsword

The Mindsword spun in the dawn's gray light
And men and demons knelt down before.
The Mindsword flashed in the midday bright
Gods joined the dance, and the march to war.
It spun in the twilight dim as well
And gods and men marched off to hell.
 
2014-06-19 11:47:30 AM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I would NOT want flight. If the power worked that you had to exert energy to fly, similar to running, you wild tire and fall to the ground. If you fly too high, the thin air would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If you fly too fast, the G-forces would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If a bird happens to fly in front of you while fly fast, it couls case major injury and likely cause you to fall to the ground. Flying through bad weather would cause you to be too cold or get hit by lightning.

There are too many things that could go wrong.
 
2014-06-19 11:48:22 AM  

SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.


Well you win!

golfclap.jpg
 
2014-06-19 11:50:10 AM  
Eternal Youthful Vitality.

There,now I have all the time and mental flexibility I need to figure out how to get the rest of the desirable superpowers as well.
 
2014-06-19 11:50:25 AM  

SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.


This is great.  You could also control what kind of poop they pooped in their pants.  Minor infraction?  Big old log.  Bankers?  Pretty much constant projectile diarrhea.
 
2014-06-19 11:53:01 AM  

Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.


My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

First, that gives you teleportation (from everyone else's perspective), and super speed.

If you have a positive view of the future, then time travel beat all other powers... because eventually all other possible powers would be discovered and analyzed.

Immortality?  Just jump far enough into the future that they've fixed what ails you/install you in a computer/do whatever.

Invulnerablility?  Jump far enough into the future they've designed Iron Man suits.  Or figured out genetic modification...

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

The central conflict with this power is: what do I skip over/how much do I skip forward?  You can't go back and try again if you overshoot or miss some Golden Age of Humanity.

Also, you get the benefit of having slow-motion-capture on demand.  It'd be like that show on Discovery, but whenever you wanted.
 
2014-06-19 11:54:54 AM  
Superpower: Fiscal responsibility
My biggest weakness: I'm a bit of a perfectioniiiiist, derf herf am I a boring successful rich person yet?
 
2014-06-19 11:55:28 AM  
I'd be the dad from "Firestarter:" telling people whatever and they'll DO it.
 
2014-06-19 11:55:58 AM  
Though his wife might appreciate it, Iron Man is kind of a lame superhero.
www.mkayeironing.co.uk
 
2014-06-19 11:56:22 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


I too want to be a Dungeon Master
 
2014-06-19 11:57:42 AM  

Clever Neologism: My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.


You might speed travel 1000 years into the future and carry with you some virus or bacteria that doesn't exist in that future, and you could start a pandemic that wipes out humanity.
 
2014-06-19 11:57:49 AM  

R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.


Agrees

img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-19 11:58:59 AM  
Well, the one's who made it to the 1%.....not so lame.

There has to be villains, too.
 
2014-06-19 12:00:23 PM  

DerAppie: Or at least wish for knowledge, intelligence is nice but ultimately useless if you have to spend the next 20 years studying everything just to get the knowledge you need.


This is one of the ideas behind Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy.
 
2014-06-19 12:00:24 PM  

Eskaminagaga: mongbiohazard: Ned Stark: duffman13: Teleportation for me, but barring that I could go for the power that girl had in the new X-men movie where she essentially could make portal gun style holes in time-space.  That way anybody can come on my teleportation journeys with me.  Either way, no waiting for air travel or commuting ever again.

Power 2 would be to rewind time 30 seconds at will.  I'd rack up a crapload of legal winnings at casinos this way, best bet would be maybe try and go high roller on a few roulette wheels until I hit big.  $1000 x 35 a few times would add up.

That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. If you're alone, all well and good, but if powers are a Thing all of a sudden the casino will know to watch for that stuff and have literally superhumanly intelligent people dividing ways to catch you and suddenly instead of winning million you're getting dragged out by Lenny and shot in both knees.

But you could rewind time 30 seconds and they'd never be able to catch you in the first place. You'd end up being like (to the outside observer) Nick Cage in that movie Knowing.

I believe you are thinking the Nicholas Cage movie "Next". "Knowing" was another Cage movie where everyone dies, including Cage.


Oh yeah, that's right. I mixed those titles up!
 
2014-06-19 12:01:49 PM  

Clever Neologism: Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.

My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

First, that gives you teleportation (from everyone else's perspective), and super speed.

If you have a positive view of the future, then time travel beat all other powers... because eventually all other possible powers would be discovered and analyzed.

Immortality?  Just jump far enough into the future that they've fixed what ails you/install you in a computer/do whatever.

Invulnerablility?  Jump far enough into the future they've designed Iron Man suits.  Or figured out genetic modification...

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

The central conflict with this power is: what do I skip over/how much do I skip forward?  You can't go back and try again if you overshoot or miss some Golden Age of Humanity.

Also, you get the benefit of having slow-motion-capture on demand.  It'd be like that show on Discovery, but whenever you wanted.


The only problem i can come up with  for slowing down time would be the fact that if you, for example, half the speed of time around you, suddenly the speed of all particles moving would half which would cause temperature to half in reference to absolute zero. You could freeze yourself pretty fast. This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark. If you are saying that this will not happen as a result of some sort of "time bubble" at the surface of your skin, then just the interaction of the environment at these slow speeds would cause enough friction to heat your body up, possibly causing it to spontaneously combust.

If you completely disregard the physics, it would be a cool power, though.
 
2014-06-19 12:01:56 PM  
its been a while since ive seen one of these threads but basically I'd take Jesse Custer's Word of God over any other power.  I could compel anyone to do anything I want, no matter how absurdly literal the phrase compels them.

static.comicvine.com
 
2014-06-19 12:02:22 PM  

GameSprocket: ...
About the only thing mind control doesn't cover is interaction with the actual environment, but you can probably get people to do what you need to handle that.


That and robots/cyborgs...
 
2014-06-19 12:06:01 PM  
When my daughter was young, I discovered the truly horrible reboot of The Electric Company on PBS. The characters all have some sort of magic powers related to spelling. (Yes, really.) One, or maybe all, of the characters can magically rearrange letters on signs and grafitti at will. I'd choose that power. I would cause no end of mischief, and finally be able to silence the voices in my head. Seriously, multiple times a day I see something printed and think how much better it would be if it said something slightly different.

Failing that, I'll have plot armor.
 
2014-06-19 12:07:08 PM  

NoSugarAdded: DerAppie: Telek

Having enough telekinetic power to close a fridge from across the room would make you an effective assassin. Stop a person's heart, pinch a vein and cause a stroke, or go for the classic Darth Vader force choke.


Sure, you'll still get to do a lot of cool suff, but there is quite a distance between having telekinetic powers worth having and being able to redirect trillions of photons going the speed of light and manipulating matter at the sub atomic level. You know, the reasons why a lot of people here claim telekinetic powers are superior to all others.
 
GBB
2014-06-19 12:07:47 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
As I look around the room, I see a lot of superheros.
You have a superpower, and ...
You have ...a ...super....
oh boy.
 
2014-06-19 12:08:33 PM  

Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.


You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.
 
2014-06-19 12:10:47 PM  

stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.


You would stop light?
 
2014-06-19 12:13:15 PM  

AFKobel: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

You would stop light?


"still see".  It's called a typo.  The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be that dumb.
 
2014-06-19 12:13:44 PM  

stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.


I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.
 
GBB
2014-06-19 12:16:25 PM  

stonicus: AFKobel: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

You would stop light?

"still see".  It's called a typo.  The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be that dumb.


Personally, I thought you were talking about distilling light at it's normal speed.  That would be some wicked brew.
But, i get it now.
 
2014-06-19 12:17:04 PM  

Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.


Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.
 
2014-06-19 12:19:18 PM  

Joe USer: DjangoStonereaver: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.

You'll need a good battle cry.


Pity the best one's been taken:

3.bp.blogspot.com

I'll go with -burp- then.
 
2014-06-19 12:21:30 PM  

stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.


Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment. You would still percieve it moving at the same speed.
 
2014-06-19 12:23:11 PM  

stonicus: AFKobel: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

You would stop light?

"still see".  It's called a typo.  The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be that dumb.


It's called ribbing.   The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be a humorless twunt.
 
2014-06-19 12:24:27 PM  

AFKobel: stonicus: AFKobel: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

You would stop light?

"still see".  It's called a typo.  The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be that dumb.

It's called ribbing.   The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be a humorless twunt.


If twunt means "lazy, judgemental, sober, not-wanna-be-at-work trolling ass", then you nailed it.  =)
 
2014-06-19 12:25:37 PM  

stonicus: AFKobel: stonicus: AFKobel: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

You would stop light?

"still see".  It's called a typo.  The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be that dumb.

It's called ribbing.   The intent should have been obvious, but here on Fark, ya never know.  You might actually be a humorless twunt.

If twunt means "lazy, judgemental, sober, not-wanna-be-at-work trolling ass", then you nailed it.  =)


I'll add that to Urban Dictionary.
 
2014-06-19 12:27:17 PM  

Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment. You would still percieve it moving at the same speed.


ah, wait, now that i think about it, you may be right. It may do a red shift and some of the light would leave you field of vision, but some infrared or other higher frequency light may shift into your field of vision. It would be a cool light show in this case.
 
2014-06-19 12:30:02 PM  

Carn: SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.

This is great.  You could also control what kind of poop they pooped in their pants.  Minor infraction?  Big old log.  Bankers?  Pretty much constant projectile diarrhea.


I just haven't worked out the range/delivery issue yet.  Can I do it to anyone?  Anywhere?  Is it the sound of my voice, or some "mind wave"?  I guess I'd take it how ever I could get it.  Would be a shame not to be able to cause deaf people to crap themselves though..... might even be discrimination.
 
2014-06-19 12:32:20 PM  

Eskaminagaga: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment. You would still percieve it moving at the same speed.

ah, wait, now that i think about it, you may be right. It may do a red shift and some of the light would leave you field of vision, but some infrared or other higher frequency light may shift into your field of vision. It would be a cool light show in this case.


It's hard to say, since the scenario itself violates the laws of physics.  =)  Fun to speculate on though...
 
2014-06-19 12:33:44 PM  

Eskaminagaga: Clever Neologism: Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.

My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

First, that gives you teleportation (from everyone else's perspective), and super speed.

If you have a positive view of the future, then time travel beat all other powers... because eventually all other possible powers would be discovered and analyzed.

Immortality?  Just jump far enough into the future that they've fixed what ails you/install you in a computer/do whatever.

Invulnerablility?  Jump far enough into the future they've designed Iron Man suits.  Or figured out genetic modification...

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

The central conflict with this power is: what do I skip over/how much do I skip forward?  You can't go back and try again if you overshoot or miss some Golden Age of Humanity.

Also, you get the benefit of having slow-motion-capture on demand.  It'd be like that show on Discovery, but whenever you wanted.

The only problem i can come up with  for slowing down time would be the fact that if you, for example, half the speed of time around you, suddenly the speed of all particles moving would half which would cause temperature to half in reference to absolute zero. You could freeze yourself pretty fast. This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark. If you are saying that this will not happen as a result of some sort of "time bubble" at the surface of your skin, then just the interaction of the environment at these slow speeds would cause enough friction to heat your body up, possibly causing it to spontaneously combust.

If you completely disregard the physics, it would be a cool power, though.


Your wrong, the amount of photons would be the same as long as you don't cross your own path. As you hit the photons you'll see what they reflected regardless of the speed of the photon. The wave length didn' change, it simply got frozen in place. You'll throw a mighty weird shadow once time resumes because you basically mopped up all the light in your path, but there is no reason to assume your vision would change because the photons aren't moving. It is basically the young Earthers idea of "the light was created in transit".
 
2014-06-19 12:37:25 PM  

DerAppie: Eskaminagaga: Clever Neologism: Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.

My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

First, that gives you teleportation (from everyone else's perspective), and super speed.

If you have a positive view of the future, then time travel beat all other powers... because eventually all other possible powers would be discovered and analyzed.

Immortality?  Just jump far enough into the future that they've fixed what ails you/install you in a computer/do whatever.

Invulnerablility?  Jump far enough into the future they've designed Iron Man suits.  Or figured out genetic modification...

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

The central conflict with this power is: what do I skip over/how much do I skip forward?  You can't go back and try again if you overshoot or miss some Golden Age of Humanity.

Also, you get the benefit of having slow-motion-capture on demand.  It'd be like that show on Discovery, but whenever you wanted.

The only problem i can come up with  for slowing down time would be the fact that if you, for example, half the speed of time around you, suddenly the speed of all particles moving would half which would cause temperature ...


yeah, i agree, i did not think that part fully through.
 
2014-06-19 12:40:01 PM  
I'd pick the ability to heal anyone, anywhere, of anything. I'd start with curing cancer and go from there.
 
2014-06-19 12:41:06 PM  

PeregrineBF: I'd pick the ability to heal anyone, anywhere, of anything. I'd start with curing cancer and go from there.


Big Pharma would have you killed.
 
2014-06-19 12:45:51 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: Joe USer: DjangoStonereaver: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.

You'll need a good battle cry.

Pity the best one's been taken:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x312]

I'll go with -burp- then.


Keep it eating utensil related and go with SPORK



a4.l3-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2014-06-19 12:52:21 PM  

stevetherobot: Satanic_Hamster: Shows what you know, subby.

[i0.kym-cdn.com image 850x695]

I live in the desert, so unless he also has tornado powers, his angry sharks are useless.


cdn.memegenerator.net
 
2014-06-19 12:56:19 PM  

Felgraf: Skyrmion: studebaker hoch: Time travel.

This if I'm going to break physics, I'm going all out.

I never, ever want time travel. The responsibility alone would break my brain.

I mean, you have the ability to save everyone. From everything. Does that mean you also have that responsibility? Is it OK for you to not jump back and save random person after random person from mundane accidents, diseases that went without diagnosis, their own bad choices (Hi Jim Henson)? At what point do you just become a tyrant that's denying people free will?

fark no. Time travel with no limitations would drive me farking bonkers.


That's why it would dovetail nicely with my other super power, which is the ability to not give a fark.

"With great power comes great..."
"Shut up, old man!"
 
2014-06-19 12:59:31 PM  

abhorrent1: Why is it none of these upper management douches picked common sense?


Deadpool sez it's the rarest power of all

Sshhh, my commonsense is tingling
 
2014-06-19 01:02:49 PM  

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Invisibility on demand is also pretty damned cool


Girls locker rooms beware!
 
2014-06-19 01:11:24 PM  
I would like the power to warp reality to my wishes.
 
2014-06-19 01:20:58 PM  

SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.


So a pair of Depends would be like kryptonite to you?
 
2014-06-19 01:24:42 PM  

Eskaminagaga: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

I would NOT want flight. If the power worked that you had to exert energy to fly, similar to running, you wild tire and fall to the ground. If you fly too high, the thin air would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If you fly too fast, the G-forces would cause you to pass out and fall to the ground. If a bird happens to fly in front of you while fly fast, it couls case major injury and likely cause you to fall to the ground. Flying through bad weather would cause you to be too cold or get hit by lightning.


Required secondary powers that take care of such concerns are usually part of the package.

The main reason why I wouldn't want flight is that (unless such superpowers were somewhat common) it makes me too much of a target.  Governments would try to capture me and subject me to testing to see if they could reproduce the power.

I would much rather have teleportation, especially if I could be careful and use it only when nobody was watching, so that nobody even know I could teleport.  If I actually wanted to use it to fight crime then I would put on a costume or something.
 
2014-06-19 01:25:45 PM  

ciberido: SpiceWeaselElzar: I've always wanted the power to make people crap their pants.  Cut me off in traffic? Crap your pants.  Act like a jerk on the phone?  How bout some crap in those pants?  Wouldn't be long before everyone knew what you were all about either.  Then people would be falling over themselves trying to be helpful, so I wouldn't make them crap their pants.  Just saying, you could use that super power several times daily.

So a pair of Depends would be like kryptonite to you?


A setback perhaps, but I'd wager you'd still have a tenancy to avoid the "everything must go, blow out sale" I had planned for you, if you could help it.
 
2014-06-19 01:26:06 PM  

stonicus: Clever Neologism: My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

You might speed travel 1000 years into the future and carry with you some virus or bacteria that doesn't exist in that future, and you could start a pandemic that wipes out humanity.


Only works if you hit Madagascar first, though.  Remember that.
 
2014-06-19 01:27:06 PM  

bulok: I would like the power to warp reality to my wishes.


I was just about to say this (I'm surprised I didn't see it mentioned earlier).

If that's too much, I'd go with the ability to create and/or alter any object in any way that I wish. This wouldn't work if you had to completely understand the object at an atomic level, or anything like that. However, with enough hand-waving, this easily covers shapeshifting (plus clothing) and most forms of healing, solves world hunger, pollution, etc. If you allow it to extend into creating fictional objects, it's just as good as wishing for unlimited superpowers.
 
2014-06-19 01:32:38 PM  
Immortality. Like, Highlander-style immortality. Sure, I could be killed by decapitation, but I can assure you, that would be easier said than done. >:-)
 
2014-06-19 01:33:31 PM  
laughing at your 'powers'

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 01:34:12 PM  

Tiber727: bulok: I would like the power to warp reality to my wishes.

I was just about to say this (I'm surprised I didn't see it mentioned earlier).

If that's too much, I'd go with the ability to create and/or alter any object in any way that I wish. This wouldn't work if you had to completely understand the object at an atomic level, or anything like that. However, with enough hand-waving, this easily covers shapeshifting (plus clothing) and most forms of healing, solves world hunger, pollution, etc. If you allow it to extend into creating fictional objects, it's just as good as wishing for unlimited superpowers.


Don't lie to us.  You'd spend all day turning random objects into fleshlights.
 
2014-06-19 01:35:38 PM  

Eskaminagaga: The only problem i can come up with  for slowing down time would be the fact that if you, for example, half the speed of time around you, suddenly the speed of all particles moving would half which would cause temperature to half in reference to absolute zero. You could freeze yourself pretty fast. This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark. If you are saying that this will not happen as a result of some sort of "time bubble" at the surface of your skin, then just the interaction of the environment at these slow speeds would cause enough friction to heat your body up, possibly causing it to spontaneously combust.


The Forever War had a kind of stasis field which limited the max speed at which anything could move, down to the level of subatomic particles, which meant electricity and light didn't work and nothing could be warmer than some very low temperature (since temperature is essentially the speed at which molecules vibrate).  Instant death to unprotected humans.  But they got around it by wearing special pressure suits that kept the field out.  The field also nullified all weapons beyond the bow and arrow, so people carried swords and bows into the field.  I think there was some weird particle effect that the suit translated into images so that the people inside the suits could still "see" even though photons didn't work normally.

I'm not sure, it's been years since I last read it.  But it sounds like the book covers some of the issues you raised.
 
2014-06-19 01:44:38 PM  

Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.


In physics as we understand it, as you speed up or slow down, the speed of light relative to you stays the same.  The number of photons hitting your eyes per second would remain the same regardless of your speed (relativity says that cannot change).  There is, however, a Doppler effect which might cause the photons to red-shift: The photons don't move any SLOWER, but they do seem to lose kinetic energy with respect to you.  It would be as if you were moving away from the light source (moving away from EVERY light source) at a high speed.

Of course, since you're talking about some kind of time travel which would seem to violate physics as we understand it, all bets are off, but if you're trying to reconcile a superpower with real-world science, my best guess is light would red-shift and images would distort, so without a required secondary power you'd quickly be unable to see anything.
 
2014-06-19 01:48:28 PM  
iddqd
idkfa
 
2014-06-19 01:50:39 PM  

Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment.


No, again, the NUMBER of photons would not decrease.   The ENERGY of each photon might decrease.  The light would probably be red-shifted into invisibility, which more or less amounts to the same net result.  Without some sort of work around, you'd have no visible light with which to see anything.

This, again, is assuming that relativity still works the way we think it does even with your time-distortion field or whatever superpower it is we're discussing.
 
2014-06-19 01:53:09 PM  

Tiber727: bulok: I would like the power to warp reality to my wishes.

I was just about to say this (I'm surprised I didn't see it mentioned earlier).

If that's too much, I'd go with the ability to create and/or alter any object in any way that I wish. This wouldn't work if you had to completely understand the object at an atomic level, or anything like that. However, with enough hand-waving, this easily covers shapeshifting (plus clothing) and most forms of healing, solves world hunger, pollution, etc. If you allow it to extend into creating fictional objects, it's just as good as wishing for unlimited superpowers.


So .... pretty much a Green Lantern ring, then?  Only in the hands of someone smart enough to think of something, anything, beyond "big weapon."
 
2014-06-19 01:54:48 PM  

ciberido: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment.

No, again, the NUMBER of photons would not decrease.   The ENERGY of each photon might decrease.  The light would probably be red-shifted into invisibility, which more or less amounts to the same net result.  Without some sort of work around, you'd have no visible light with which to see anything.

This, again, is assuming that relativity still works the way we think it does even with your time-distortion field or whatever superpower it is we're discussing.


what this is turning into.

thestashed.com
 
2014-06-19 01:55:31 PM  

natas6.0: laughing at your 'powers'

[img.fark.net image 640x640]


Ok, I have to ask, why 5 rings on one hand and only one right on the other?  Wouldn't 3 on each make more sense?  And who is that guy, anyway?
 
2014-06-19 01:55:39 PM  
Super intelligence is always the right answer. With SI, you can engineer any of the other powers you want, and you can outthink your enemies while you're doing it.

There's a reason that Lex Luthor is the only villain who can really put Superman to the test.
 
2014-06-19 01:58:53 PM  

stonicus: I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.


Yeah but if you had to do it one human at a time it'd get pretty tedious, not to mention too easy to counter.

How about everybody wakes up tomorrow and sees me as God, whatever that looks like to them? (I'd prefer to look like Krishna in splendor than an old Jew with a beard, the latter being something I could manage in a month.) It'd be a trip to walk into Wal-Mart and watch everybody who sees me go quickly prostrate in servile admiration.

Of course I might settle for a certain Farkette deciding I'm okay enough to visit for a weekend...

stonicus: Clever Neologism: My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

You might speed travel 1000 years into the future and carry with you some virus or bacteria that doesn't exist in that future, and you could start a pandemic that wipes out humanity.


But if you carry it you might well be already immune to it. And some people could turn out to be somehow resistant--not every Native American who got smallpox got very sick let alone died, and some people might have cross-resistance like the cowpox thing--and some of them might turn out to be hot smart healthy young adults you could rule and repopulate the world with.

And the worst case scenarios ain't bad: either everybody dies including me (oh well), or everybody dies but me which would be great.

Not long ago I read a book translated from German where this Viennese guy wakes up one morning to find he's the only animal (including homo sapiens) on Earth, they all just disappeared, which for some reason caused him to lose his frigging mind. I don't get it. Of course without anything to pollinate them all the plants would eventually die off (the edible plants might go pretty quickly), but in this unfortunately fictional world there's plenty of canned food, the electric and water systems keep working (at least for the few months before he kills himself), etc. etc. etc. For the next say 20 years of my natural lifetime I should be okay. I could become Super-Tourist, tootling around wherever I want in whatever vehicle I wanted including boats. (Planes take too much skill and ain't necessary: e.g., drive to one side of the Bering Strait, boat over to the other side, find another car.)

Of course I'd rather not be the only creature on the planet, dogs can be great company for example, but the idea of a world where all that changes is the rest of you people disappear would be heaven on Earth. Feel free to go extinct at the earliest possible opportunity, okay?

Even a mass die-off, say minus 4 billion or so, would be a good start. How about everybody dies who's not a gorgeous, horny, easy-to-be-around 18 year old? (<- See? I'm still not a pedophile!)
 
2014-06-19 02:06:29 PM  

AFKobel: You might actually be a humorless twunt.


That's one of the few superpowers I've managed already.

OhioUGrad: Ctrl-Alt-Del: Invisibility on demand is also pretty damned cool

Girls locker rooms beware!


Are you sure you don't mean "young women?"

You'd be pretty disappointed at what straight chicks are like when there're no men around, or at least none they perceive as straight. Hint: toe jam football.
 
2014-06-19 02:06:51 PM  

ciberido: natas6.0: laughing at your 'powers'

[img.fark.net image 640x640]

Ok, I have to ask, why 5 rings on one hand and only one right on the other?  Wouldn't 3 on each make more sense?  And who is that guy, anyway?


That's Lobo.  He is known as the last Czarnian because after he was born he immediately murdered all the millions of people on his planet.  As a baby.
 
2014-06-19 02:08:31 PM  
 
2014-06-19 02:09:53 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: Super intelligence is always the right answer. With SI, you can engineer any of the other powers you want, and you can outthink your enemies while you're doing it.

There's a reason that Lex Luthor is the only villain who can really put Superman to the test.


Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game.  I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step.  I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor.  So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

The thing is, of course, that you need a lot of money to build all that.  I know the standard answer is "Well, if she's that smart she can MAKE money," but even so you really need to justify it with some kind of backstory that explains exactly where you got the initial funds from, before you go into inventing the actual technology

Also this brings up the "Rex Reed Is Useless" trope.  If you're so smart that you can create Iron Man's armor, why not use some of those smarts to cure cancer or end starvation?  Irrigate some deserts or something when you're not fighting Loki.
 
2014-06-19 02:12:06 PM  

Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.


that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.
 
2014-06-19 02:13:26 PM  

ciberido: Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game. I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step. I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor. So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.


Heroes Unlimited?

I played it back in the mid 80's
 
2014-06-19 02:14:47 PM  

The One True TheDavid: stonicus: I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.

Yeah but if you had to do it one human at a time it'd get pretty tedious, not to mention too easy to counter.

How about everybody wakes up tomorrow and sees me as God, whatever that looks like to them? (I'd prefer to look like Krishna in splendor than an old Jew with a beard, the latter being something I could manage in a month.) It'd be a trip to walk into Wal-Mart and watch everybody who sees me go quickly prostrate in servile admiration.


Assuming you're not already a horrible person to begin with, either absolute power would corrupt absolutely and you'd turn into a horrible person, or you''d quickly become disgusted with it and try to damp the effect down all the time.

No good person could have that power for long, enjoy it, and remain good.
 
2014-06-19 02:16:15 PM  

toraque: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing squirming naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.


Fixed that. For me.
 
2014-06-19 02:21:45 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: ciberido: Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game. I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step. I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor. So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

Heroes Unlimited?

I played it back in the mid 80's


Mid-1980s is the right time, but ... I'm not sure.  It could have been Heroes Unlimited, or Champions.  I know that there are a whole hell of a lot of superhero RPGs now, more than I can list, but back then there may have been only 2 or 3.

Actually, a friend of mine is talking about starting up a superhero game and we've been debating which system to use.  It would be his first time ever as a game master, so I've been pushing for a system that's more newbie-friendly.  In other words, not too crunchy.  Which rules out GURPS, as far as I'm concerned.

Any suggestions?
 
2014-06-19 02:21:53 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: ciberido: Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game. I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step. I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor. So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

Heroes Unlimited?

I played it back in the mid 80's


Champions maybe.  Seems I remember choosing an archetype for that one.  If you remember it had a bazillion charts to roll for then it was Champions.
 
2014-06-19 02:27:06 PM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Walken voice: " a tail."
 
2014-06-19 02:28:49 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: Tiber727: bulok: I would like the power to warp reality to my wishes.

I was just about to say this (I'm surprised I didn't see it mentioned earlier).

If that's too much, I'd go with the ability to create and/or alter any object in any way that I wish. This wouldn't work if you had to completely understand the object at an atomic level, or anything like that. However, with enough hand-waving, this easily covers shapeshifting (plus clothing) and most forms of healing, solves world hunger, pollution, etc. If you allow it to extend into creating fictional objects, it's just as good as wishing for unlimited superpowers.

Don't lie to us.  You'd spend all day turning random objects into fleshlights.


Like what happened to Dr. Doom towards the end of Secret Wars?
 
2014-06-19 02:29:36 PM  
I already have a superpower, having been bitten by a radioactive bug that didn't give a damn about anything.
 
2014-06-19 02:33:00 PM  

ciberido: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: ciberido: Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game. I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step. I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor. So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

Heroes Unlimited?

I played it back in the mid 80's

Mid-1980s is the right time, but ... I'm not sure.  It could have been Heroes Unlimited, or Champions.  I know that there are a whole hell of a lot of superhero RPGs now, more than I can list, but back then there may have been only 2 or 3.

Actually, a friend of mine is talking about starting up a superhero game and we've been debating which system to use.  It would be his first time ever as a game master, so I've been pushing for a system that's more newbie-friendly.  In other words, not too crunchy.  Which rules out GURPS, as far as I'm concerned.

Any suggestions?


Sorry but nope.  I really never got into the superhero RPG.  D&D, Top Secret, and Gamma World were my big three.


We got creative and made up new rules for Dawn Patrol (WWI air combat game) to be more like D&D wil all kinds of ridiculous upgrades.  There I was ruling the skies over France in my Sopwith Camel with twin 20MM gatling guns.
 
2014-06-19 02:37:09 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: Eskaminagaga:

I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.


What's love got to do with it?
 
2014-06-19 02:38:02 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.


...up until they perfect anti-aging. Even if they do not, i am prepaired to deal with that. It will suck, but it is no reason to die.
 
2014-06-19 02:38:18 PM  

The One True TheDavid: stonicus: I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.

Yeah but if you had to do it one human at a time it'd get pretty tedious, not to mention too easy to counter.

How about everybody wakes up tomorrow and sees me as God, whatever that looks like to them? (I'd prefer to look like Krishna in splendor than an old Jew with a beard, the latter being something I could manage in a month.) It'd be a trip to walk into Wal-Mart and watch everybody who sees me go quickly prostrate in servile admiration.

Of course I might settle for a certain Farkette deciding I'm okay enough to visit for a weekend...

stonicus: Clever Neologism: My power is time travel/manipulation, but *only* into the future... you can only alter the speed at which you flow through time into the future (asymptotically, you can freeze time).

Plus, there are no paradoxes, and you are not breaking any fundamental physical laws.  And no pesky weird ethics either.

You might speed travel 1000 years into the future and carry with you some virus or bacteria that doesn't exist in that future, and you could start a pandemic that wipes out humanity.

But if you carry it you might well be already immune to it. And some people could turn out to be somehow resistant--not every Native American who got smallpox got very sick let alone died, and some people might have cross-resistance like the cowpox thing--and some of them might turn out to be hot smart healthy young adults you could rule and repopulate the world with.

And the worst case scenarios ain't bad: either everybody dies including me (oh well), or everybody dies but me which would be great.

Not long ago I read a book translated from German where this Viennese guy wakes up one morning to find he's the only animal (including homo sapiens) on Earth, they all just disappeared, which for some reason caused him t ...


so... The Justice League episode Hereafter?
 
2014-06-19 02:39:21 PM  

studebaker hoch: I already have a superpower, having been bitten by a radioactive bug that didn't give a damn about anything.


www.freehi.com
 
2014-06-19 02:39:24 PM  

ciberido: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: stonicus: Eskaminagaga: This not even including how the photons hitting your eyes would half, making it excessively dark.

You would still light travelling at its normal speed, c.

I agree with 'c' approximately being 300,000,000 meters per second. Now if one of those seconds is equal to two of your seconds, then the speed would be about 150,000,000 meters per second. Considering light is made of photons, those would slow, thus less would hit your retina per second. This is a similar reason as to why cameras need a longer exposure time in darker environments to get a decent picture.

Nope.  You'd still see it as 'c'.  That's how relativity works, and it's been verified.  No matter how fast or slow you move through spacetime, you will perceive light as travelling at 'c'.

Yeah, it is part of the particle/wave duality of light. It still doesnt change the fact that there would be less photons interacting with your retina which you would percieve as a darker environment.

No, again, the NUMBER of photons would not decrease.   The ENERGY of each photon might decrease.  The light would probably be red-shifted into invisibility, which more or less amounts to the same net result.  Without some sort of work around, you'd have no visible light with which to see anything.

This, again, is assuming that relativity still works the way we think it does even with your time-distortion field or whatever superpower it is we're discussing.


yeah, i agree, i did not think it through when i was saying that.
 
2014-06-19 02:42:01 PM  
Yeah, go ahead. Hide in the desert for all the good it will do hiding from Cthulhu...img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 02:52:37 PM  
meh, if I could have any super power, any super power at all...I'd take cold war era USSR
 
2014-06-19 02:53:02 PM  
I've always wanted to have Jamie Madrox's powers, if any. Just imagine, cloning yourself with a touch! You could literally learn anything as you re-absorb gods know how many clones you have out in the world studying at various universities or in strange jobs. Have a company composed only of yourself. Have 5.378 careers. Have as many girlfriends as you want. All while you sit at home in your big pile of money directing yourselves into your agendas...

Tangent note: it isn't just me right, but Wolverine is the lamest mutant in the world isn't he? I mean, of all the mutant who do mutanty things, knives on your hands sucks. Shoot lasers? Sure. Control weather? Yes. Knives on your hands? Wat.
 
2014-06-19 03:01:07 PM  

Terrible Old Man: I've always wanted to have Jamie Madrox's powers, if any. Just imagine, cloning yourself with a touch! You could literally learn anything as you re-absorb gods know how many clones you have out in the world studying at various universities or in strange jobs. Have a company composed only of yourself. Have 5.378 careers. Have as many girlfriends as you want. All while you sit at home in your big pile of money directing yourselves into your agendas...

Tangent note: it isn't just me right, but Wolverine is the lamest mutant in the world isn't he? I mean, of all the mutant who do mutanty things, knives on your hands sucks. Shoot lasers? Sure. Control weather? Yes. Knives on your hands? Wat.


You're intentionally dragging me down this hole aren't you...

"Knives on hands" is not Wolverine's mutant power.
 
2014-06-19 03:32:52 PM  

The One True TheDavid: SuperNinjaToad: Eskaminagaga:

I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.

What's love got to do with it?


What's love but a second-hand emotion?
 
2014-06-19 03:37:08 PM  

Eskaminagaga: SuperNinjaToad: Eskaminagaga: I would choose Wolverine style healing. You would get the immortality with it as well as the ability to live forever. With all of the time in the world, you could accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

that to me would be a curse because you will see every single person you've ever love die before you.. over and over and over again.

...up until they perfect anti-aging. Even if they do not, i am prepaired to deal with that. It will suck, but it is no reason to die.


If you live long enough, you will have seen people you care about die.  Ask anyone over 50.  There is sadness, of course, but I don't see why it should be some horrible burden that makes you curse your longevity.  The whole "Who wants to live forever?" trope has always struck me as melodramatic.

People lose friends, but people also gain new friends.  If your immortal character ends up alienated and alone, that says a lot more about his personality than it does about immortality itself.
 
2014-06-19 03:38:44 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: ciberido: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: ciberido: Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game. I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step. I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor. So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

Heroes Unlimited?

I played it back in the mid 80's

Mid-1980s is the right time, but ... I'm not sure.  It could have been Heroes Unlimited, or Champions.  I know that there are a whole hell of a lot of superhero RPGs now, more than I can list, but back then there may have been only 2 or 3.

Actually, a friend of mine is talking about starting up a superhero game and we've been debating which system to use.  It would be his first time ever as a game master, so I've been pushing for a system that's more newbie-friendly.  In other words, not too crunchy.  Which rules out GURPS, as far as I'm concerned.

Any suggestions?

Sorry but nope.  I really never got into the superhero RPG.  D&D, Top Secret, and Gamma World were my big three.


We got creative and made up new rules for Dawn Patrol (WWI air combat game) to be more like D&D wil all kinds of ridiculous upgrades.  There I was ruling the skies over France in my Sopwith Camel with twin 20MM gatling guns.


As to superhero pen & paper RPGs, CHAMPIONS is a decent choice, as is MUTANTS & MASTERMINDS, which is
based on the D20 system (same as D&D 3.5).

But, if you want something that requires less of a $$$ investment, check out SAVAGE WORLDS.
 
2014-06-19 03:40:58 PM  

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Bah, rent a plane.  Super intelligence is the way to go, you primitive apes!
 
2014-06-19 04:30:56 PM  
Time travel.

Now, how do I apply that to my business dealings?

I`d rather actually just be the prime user of the HHGTTG 2...

that`s not a superpower though
 
2014-06-19 04:40:38 PM  
Be able to make anyone orgasm instantly.

About to get a ticket?  Splooge....ummm I am going to let you off with a warning

Cute girl at a bar?  Hello my name is....sploosh...SDCC.  Nice to ....sploosh....meet you.

Arse at the office?  Ok I am going to be going...splurt..uh over...splurt....uhhh the quarterly....splurt....re...splurt...port....oh my god...splurt....splurt.... splurt.... splurt.... splurt.... splurt....

Guy behind you tailgating?  Oh that's a splurtin
 
2014-06-19 04:45:54 PM  

ciberido: Some 'Splainin' To Do: Super intelligence is always the right answer. With SI, you can engineer any of the other powers you want, and you can outthink your enemies while you're doing it.

There's a reason that Lex Luthor is the only villain who can really put Superman to the test.

Many moons ago I used to play tabletop (or "pen and paper") superhero RPGs, back when if you said "role-playing game" there was no chance people would think you meant some kind of computer game.  I can't remember now which game system it was, but I remember that picking your origin archetype was a crucial first step.  I don't remember them all, but among them was alien, mutant/mutated by radiation, and genius inventor.  So yeah, genius who gives himself superpowers via technology (like Iron Man) was a whole category of superhero.

The thing is, of course, that you need a lot of money to build all that.  I know the standard answer is "Well, if she's that smart she can MAKE money," but even so you really need to justify it with some kind of backstory that explains exactly where you got the initial funds from, before you go into inventing the actual technology

Also this brings up the "Rex Reed Is Useless" trope.  If you're so smart that you can create Iron Man's armor, why not use some of those smarts to cure cancer or end starvation?  Irrigate some deserts or something when you're not fighting Loki.


Rex Reed? I don't much agree with his reviews, but he's not a terrible film critic. (I assume you mean Reed Richards.)

I was interpreting the question to apply to the real world, just assuming that I get one magic wish for a power. The reason that Reed Richards is useless, in the comics, is precisely because they can't really show what the presence of superintelligence does to the world without altering it so thoroughly that it would be unrecognizable, which makes the narrative too difficult for most writers to handle.

In a realistic environment, an ultra-genius is a world shaping event. You won't be fighting crime, you'll be initiating a Singularity.

Mind you, I'm not just asking for Tony Stark levels of intelligence. I'd want to be significantly greater than human, akin to the gap between us and H. erectus, or maybe even between us and  Canis lupus familiaris.
 
2014-06-19 05:53:44 PM  
stepping in & out of space/time.
when outside, looking in; everything is frozen, can build pyramids or solar systems outside space/time.
then stepping in again,
Poof! Alakazam Kalamazoo!!, there's the pyramid or solar system in the blink of an eye.

Aaand that is how the worlds were created.
-were- to you trapped in space/time.
-is- to those who are not.

The tower of Babel....
is about people trying to do just that...
 
2014-06-19 06:14:03 PM  

stonicus: I'd like to control people's emotions.  Flood a hot chick's mind with feelings of love, safety, affection, horniness.  Make men pants-pissingly terrified of me.  You could so easily rule the world.


images.duckduckgo.com

The DCU did that - Psycho Pirate. Was a major player in both the original Crisis and the Infinite Crisis of the mid-2000's. A weak-willed person who could control emotions. Let's say it didn't work out well for him when he tried to use his powers on Black Adam.
 
2014-06-19 06:20:17 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Are you sure you don't mean "young women?"


I still call females my age and older than me, and even some in their 40s, "girls".
 
2014-06-19 06:21:46 PM  

Terrible Old Man: I've always wanted to have Jamie Madrox's powers, if any. Just imagine, cloning yourself with a touch! You could literally learn anything as you re-absorb gods know how many clones you have out in the world studying at various universities or in strange jobs. Have a company composed only of yourself. Have 5.378 careers. Have as many girlfriends as you want. All while you sit at home in your big pile of money directing yourselves into your agendas...

Tangent note: it isn't just me right, but Wolverine is the lamest mutant in the world isn't he? I mean, of all the mutant who do mutanty things, knives on your hands sucks. Shoot lasers? Sure. Control weather? Yes. Knives on your hands? Wat.


Well Wolvie's real power is healing and regeneration - which is a pretty awesome power. The claws came later.
 
2014-06-19 06:26:22 PM  
The correct answer to this is "Lantern Ring".

Let's go down what a Ring gives the wearer who controls it right:

Flight
Limited Invulnerability
Ability to construct whatever one imagines.
Direct blasts of energy, which can be molded into whatever frequency or intensity you want (So, Fighting Superman? Green K beam!)
Direct access to a nearly infinite knowledge base (think Wikipedia: Galactic Edition just by asking the Ring)
Space/Aquatic survival.

Your only limits are keep the battery close by.
 
2014-06-19 07:05:42 PM  
Has anyone said they want the power of having Morgan freeman narrate their lives?

Cause that's the power I would want
 
2014-06-19 07:16:30 PM  

saintstryfe: Terrible Old Man: I've always wanted to have Jamie Madrox's powers, if any. Just imagine, cloning yourself with a touch! You could literally learn anything as you re-absorb gods know how many clones you have out in the world studying at various universities or in strange jobs. Have a company composed only of yourself. Have 5.378 careers. Have as many girlfriends as you want. All while you sit at home in your big pile of money directing yourselves into your agendas...

Tangent note: it isn't just me right, but Wolverine is the lamest mutant in the world isn't he? I mean, of all the mutant who do mutanty things, knives on your hands sucks. Shoot lasers? Sure. Control weather? Yes. Knives on your hands? Wat.

Well Wolvie's real power is healing and regeneration - which is a pretty awesome power. The claws came later.


Actually, the metal came later, but I think he had the claws before (as bone). The reason he was given the metal was his healing ability allowed him to survive the process. I recall in the comics it being stated that the metal actually slowed  his healing ability, when it was removed (or at least one of the times it was) he could heal even faster
 
2014-06-19 09:58:01 PM  
What I fond most depressing is that they feel that what should be normal things like enthusiasm and drive are superpowers. I guess I kind of get it but you were obviously driven to get where you are. Not everyone wants to be a CEO. If I could live on the pay, I'd much rather be driving a forklift for a living. But I can't so I die slowly in a cubicle.
 
2014-06-20 08:07:53 AM  

Mr. Ekshun: iddqd
idkfa



www.doomgate.de
 
2014-06-20 08:10:54 AM  
I choose....
x3.cdn02.imgwykop.pl
Heart!


/Fark you, heart power is awesome
 
2014-06-20 10:50:49 AM  
I'd like to have the power to get a certain Farkette to say hi to me in email.

Getting laid before I die would be nice too.

But picking a winning Powerball number would be best of all, even just once. With enough money one can buy anything. Even a pen pal.
 
2014-06-20 11:34:21 AM  
Form of: A bucket of ice!!!
 
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