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(Time)   Successful people pick lame superpowers. Yes, even more lame than Aquaman   (time.com) divider line 219
    More: Stupid, Internet Explorer  
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6562 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2014 at 10:18 AM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



219 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-19 09:16:24 AM
Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.
 
2014-06-19 09:27:40 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself, but flight would be up there.

I did notice, though, that no one said "Not being a super douchebag", though.
 
2014-06-19 10:20:17 AM
Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.
 
2014-06-19 10:21:59 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.
 
2014-06-19 10:22:26 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.



What if they answered "intelligence"?
 
2014-06-19 10:22:28 AM

DjangoStonereaver: I've always skewed toward nigh invulnerability myself...


www.vastulisto.com
 
2014-06-19 10:22:33 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Nonsense. Teleportation is way better than flying. Invisibility on demand is also pretty damned cool
 
2014-06-19 10:23:29 AM
Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.
 
2014-06-19 10:23:35 AM
Interview answer, I want the ability to work well on multiple projects, meet deadlines and fill out my time card.

Real answer, be Sylar from Heroes
 
2014-06-19 10:24:13 AM
i291.photobucket.com

/getting a lot of mileage outta this one the past few days
 
2014-06-19 10:25:00 AM

GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.


Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.

Though if you are not fighting crime, then knowing major stock market changes a day or so in advance would be great as well..
 
2014-06-19 10:25:13 AM
Who says journalism is dead?
 
2014-06-19 10:25:58 AM

MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.


If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.
 
2014-06-19 10:26:46 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


Telekensis, so long as I can also lift myself (Thus, flight)
 
2014-06-19 10:27:09 AM
Telekinesis.  Without a doubt.
 
2014-06-19 10:27:31 AM
Variable girth.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:05 AM
I'll take the Path to Victory, thanks.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:26 AM
Invisibility, hands down...

oh the mayhem I would cause
 
2014-06-19 10:28:28 AM
Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.
 
2014-06-19 10:28:46 AM

R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.


No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.
 
2014-06-19 10:29:56 AM

gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.


fark flight. Give me a Green Lantern ring.
 
2014-06-19 10:30:13 AM

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.



What about $uperman?
 
2014-06-19 10:32:30 AM

Snarfangel: MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


What about $uperman?


He's a £oser
 
2014-06-19 10:33:16 AM
Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?
 
2014-06-19 10:34:27 AM
If given a chance to pick three out of a bunch on a list, here is what i would choose in no particualr order:

1) Be able to predict the future. (I can invest in the stock market and play the lottery.)
2) Be able to teleport.
3) To shapeshift. (Make myself look like a bodybuilder, a model, etc.)

This is only if I cannot pick the "unlimited wishes" option.
 
2014-06-19 10:34:34 AM
Time travel.

You don't have to be good at anything when you can just keep doing it over again until you get it right.
 
2014-06-19 10:35:49 AM

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?



"My superpower is to get three more superpowers."

/If it works for djinn and their wishes, why not superpowers?
 
2014-06-19 10:36:01 AM

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

"Ahem.."

25.media.tumblr.com

"Just leave it, Bruce.  Martini?"
 
2014-06-19 10:36:16 AM

INeedAName: Telekinesis. It's the best of all powers. I can fly, create shields, bend light, etc.


That depends on the smallest particle you can effectively manipulate and how much energy you are able to exert by telekinesis. If you only get enough power to close the fridge from across the kitchen, you won't be stopping any bullets or bend light. Which is why everyone should take care to always be specific when wishing for a super power.

/I wish I had telekinesis.
//Your wish is my Command!
///But I can barely lift a dime with my mind!
 
2014-06-19 10:36:31 AM
super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!
 
2014-06-19 10:37:21 AM
Flight.  Oddly enough, I occasionally have dreams about this.
Teleportation would be good too.  It would make my commute easier.
Invulnerability would be up there too.  Especially if something goes wrong with the first two.  It would suck to be vulnerable, and teleport inside a brick wall.
 
2014-06-19 10:38:02 AM

Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!


You'll end up caught off guard while you're monologuing.
 
2014-06-19 10:39:01 AM
Mind-reading
Shape-shifting (which covers flight)
Teleportation
If you get four go for invincibility but it starts to sound like cheating at that point.
 
2014-06-19 10:39:29 AM
I see the intelligent people have already pointed out that telekinesis is the best power.

Although, I would also accept "plot armor".
 
2014-06-19 10:39:46 AM

Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?


can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-19 10:40:11 AM
 
2014-06-19 10:40:17 AM
Time travel and shapeshifting. I'd go back in time, shapeshift to Paris and sex with Helen of Troy
 
2014-06-19 10:40:42 AM
Pyrokinesis you sissies.

// I just want to watch the world burn.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:00 AM

Headso: super intelligence is the best power because you could invent and  build technology to make all other superpowers, come on brehs think!


If we're going to be like that, I'd rather have super self motivating powers. I'm already a reasonably lazy slacker, who knows how unmotivated I would get if I ever got that much brain power.

Or at least wish for knowledge, intelligence is nice but ultimately useless if you have to spend the next 20 years studying everything just to get the knowledge you need.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:03 AM

Cheron: Sin_City_Superhero: Y'all are thinking too small. Why just ONE superpower? Why not flight, invisibility, knowing the future, AND a giant cock?

can't help you with flight, invisibility or knowledge but I can help you with the last one.  hope you have a lot of millet around.

[img.fark.net image 432x640]



That's too much cock for one man to handle.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:14 AM
Don't "breh" me if you don't "meh" me.
 
2014-06-19 10:41:28 AM

MaliFinn: R.A.Danny: MaliFinn: Those aren't superpowers, they're traits.

If your traits make you billions they can certainly be considered superpowers.

No.  There's nothing superhuman about having money.


These guys would like a word with you.

img1.wikia.nocookie.net              encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-19 10:41:30 AM
Shows what you know, subby.

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-06-19 10:42:53 AM
Yeah, unlimited knowledge. I can give myself the other superpowers after the fact.
 
2014-06-19 10:43:19 AM
DjangoStonereaver:

Damn you and damn my slow office internet
 
2014-06-19 10:43:30 AM
Right.  Batman, Robin, you find some way to block future transmissions.  Wonder Woman, you stop Dr. Spiker, and find out
what he knows.  Flash, run to the Andes Mountains, and get those plants.  I'll go stop the missiles that have already been launched.  Aquaman,
you go...  talk to some fish!
 
2014-06-19 10:43:38 AM

Kit Fister: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

fark flight. Give me a Green Lantern ring.


This, except without the asshole Guardians that are pretty much more evil than some of the badguys.  I want space travel.

/first human to travel to mars, Jupiter....
 
2014-06-19 10:44:03 AM
The Zack Morris "Time-Out"
 
2014-06-19 10:44:15 AM

sjmcc13: GORDON: Teleporting comes to mind, without giving it too much thought.

Teleport (depending on restrictions) over flight any day of the week.


Teleport is good, especially if you can teleport lots of stuff and/or teleport really far.   Moonbase in a week and a controlling interest in international shipping, anyone?

toraque: gopher321: Anybody who doesn't answer "flight" is a moron. There, I said it.

Shapeshifting beats flight.  You can turn into anyone.

Admittedly, I wouldn't be fighting crime so much as turning into Christina Hendricks and standing naked in front of a mirror all day, but that's how it goes.


Shapeshifting good, biomancy better.  Not only can you change yourself, you can change your frumpy groupie into Christina Hendricks (for which she'll be grateful enough to do that thing even groupies were saying no to).  And AFTER you sate your horrifying, unspeakable lusts you can become Jesus.

No really, you have the power to heal with a touch.  You can give sight to the blind, give a crippled veteran his legs back, turn a man into a fully-functional and actually pretty woman, and  even if you charge a fee they will worship the farking ground you walk on.

Then you can grow angel wings (which won't work because of geometry) turn yourself into a birdA FARKING DRAGON (which...might work?) and fly to France because "Fark you, I'm a dragon!"
 
2014-06-19 10:44:25 AM
pbfcomics.com
 
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