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(News.com.au)   Hotel employee reveals how to avoid getting an awful room. Apparently you have to find a place that doesn't charge hourly   (news.com.au) divider line 47
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3990 clicks; posted to Business » on 19 Jun 2014 at 4:26 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-19 03:54:24 PM
I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and they didn't charge me extra for dead hooker disposal.
 
2014-06-19 04:35:23 PM
Even the finest expensive 5 star hotels have cum covered walls, etc.  just bring a black light with you and learn for yourself.
 
2014-06-19 04:35:39 PM
The folded $20 with my cc and id always works wonders when checking in.

/works  probly 90% of the time
 
hej
2014-06-19 04:44:39 PM

Polartank13: The folded $20 with my cc and id always works wonders when checking in.

/works  probly 90% of the time



www.geekalerts.com

90% of the time, it works every time.
 
2014-06-19 04:47:19 PM
Nice try, Chet.
 
2014-06-19 04:58:30 PM
I find being platinum at Marriott works quite well.

I particularly like arriving after a long flight to hear "Your complimentary split of wine is already in the suite we upgraded you to and we set the thermostat to 65 degrees."
 
2014-06-19 05:00:38 PM

Linux_Yes: Even the finest expensive 5 star hotels have cum covered walls, etc.  just bring a black light with you and learn for yourself.


You know, if I was running a hotel I'd paint the walls and ceilings of all the rooms with paint that fluoresces. And get a softener for all the sheets and towels where the residual would glow.  Finally on the mirror backing in the bathroom there would be "We're just farking with you" or some other cheeky statement embedded in the reflective surface.
 
2014-06-19 05:09:55 PM
Personally, I like painting "YOU WILL DIE TONIGHT" on the comforter or headboard using a diluted highlighter solution.  Just incase the next guy has a black light.
 
2014-06-19 05:10:47 PM

MadHatter500: Linux_Yes: Even the finest expensive 5 star hotels have cum covered walls, etc.  just bring a black light with you and learn for yourself.

You know, if I was running a hotel I'd paint the walls and ceilings of all the rooms with paint that fluoresces. And get a softener for all the sheets and towels where the residual would glow.  Finally on the mirror backing in the bathroom there would be "We're just farking with you" or some other cheeky statement embedded in the reflective surface.


dammit
 
2014-06-19 05:13:51 PM

BigLuca: MadHatter500: Linux_Yes: Even the finest expensive 5 star hotels have cum covered walls, etc.  just bring a black light with you and learn for yourself.

You know, if I was running a hotel I'd paint the walls and ceilings of all the rooms with paint that fluoresces. And get a softener for all the sheets and towels where the residual would glow.  Finally on the mirror backing in the bathroom there would be "We're just farking with you" or some other cheeky statement embedded in the reflective surface.

dammit


Now you're going to die tonight.
 
2014-06-19 05:16:58 PM

hej: Polartank13: The folded $20 with my cc and id always works wonders when checking in.

/works  probly 90% of the time


[www.geekalerts.com image 400x482]

90% of the time, it works every time.


i149.photobucket.com

Eh, the other 10% they just give me the money back, so I call that a push, especially if the place smells like Bigfoot's dick
 
2014-06-19 05:24:11 PM
Tell them you are on your honeymoon. One time we got a complimentary bottle of champagne and chocolates.
 
2014-06-19 05:26:10 PM
I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.
 
2014-06-19 05:31:04 PM

Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.


I read that as "the pillows were the size of a small couch".  That's a big pillow.
 
2014-06-19 05:35:09 PM

Geotpf: Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.

I read that as "the pillows were the size of a small couch".  That's a big pillow.


All the better to hide the dead hooker
 
2014-06-19 05:53:44 PM

Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.


You needed to go to a treadmill room before 6:00?

Have you considered taking a walk outside, whilst contemplating how people like you are ruining your country?
 
2014-06-19 06:14:49 PM
I'm spending the week in exciting Celaya, Guanajuato and I can't complain about the hotel. It's pretty nice.

Still I'm really curious what the inside of those 50 year old crumbling brick things on the edge of town look like...
 
2014-06-19 06:17:05 PM

gopher321: I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and they didn't charge me extra for dead hooker disposal.


Aren't you supposed to burn the dead hooker in the bathtub?
 
2014-06-19 06:24:46 PM
I just back from Paris, where our hotel elevator was too small to fit both me and my wife with our carry-on bags (we're not fatties) and the room was barely large enough to fit the bed. The bathroom sink had been notched so the shower door could slide most of the way open. The toilet was so close to the wall I never really figured out where my right leg was supposed to go. I can't imagine the photos on Booking.com were even of a hotel anywhere near that building, let alone any one room in that particular hotel. But it was two blocks from the Louvre and we were there 6 hours a day so who gave a rat's arse of a fark.

/and it was under $200 a night, so, score, I guess.
 
2014-06-19 06:31:15 PM

spawn73: Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.

You needed to go to a treadmill room before 6:00?

Have you considered taking a walk outside, whilst contemplating how people like you are ruining your country?


I have to be at work at 7. I often get up at 4:30 to workout and eat breakfast.
 
2014-06-19 06:34:28 PM

Scrotastic Method: I just back from Paris, where our hotel elevator was too small to fit both me and my wife with our carry-on bags (we're not fatties) and the room was barely large enough to fit the bed. The bathroom sink had been notched so the shower door could slide most of the way open. The toilet was so close to the wall I never really figured out where my right leg was supposed to go. I can't imagine the photos on Booking.com were even of a hotel anywhere near that building, let alone any one room in that particular hotel. But it was two blocks from the Louvre and we were there 6 hours a day so who gave a rat's arse of a fark.

/and it was under $200 a night, so, score, I guess.


I remember my first experience with a European elevator. It had a normal door(not a typical elevator door) on the shaft and no inner door. It was the size of a small closet.
 
2014-06-19 06:34:29 PM

W.C.fields forever: Aren't you supposed to burn the dead hooker in the bathtub?



Of course not. Only rubes who aren't accustomed to being away from home go to the trouble of cleaning up the room or disposing of the hooker themselves.
 
2014-06-19 06:40:00 PM

spawn73: Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.

You needed to go to a treadmill room before 6:00?

Have you considered taking a walk outside, whilst contemplating how people like you are ruining your country?


Depends on the place. Some of them are on roads with no sidewalks (like this one).
 
2014-06-19 06:44:08 PM

Tobin_Lam: spawn73: Unobtanium: I just checked out of a "mid range" hotel this morning. I haven't filled out a comment card in years. I don't know what they used to clean and deodorize the room, but it masked the mildew smell in the closet until this morning. The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow, and the treadmill room wouldn't open before 6:00 in spite of being "24 hours." Oh, well. I only have to go to that little city every 6 months or so, and there are plenty of other places for similar money.

You needed to go to a treadmill room before 6:00?

Have you considered taking a walk outside, whilst contemplating how people like you are ruining your country?

I have to be at work at 7. I often get up at 4:30 to workout and eat breakfast.


Yep. Me, too. I am typically exercising by 4:45. If I have gotten to know the neighborhood around the hotel, I will go outside if I judge it is reasonably safe. If it is the first time or I know there are no sidewalks, I go for the hotel treadmill.
 
2014-06-19 06:44:39 PM

Scrotastic Method: I just back from Paris, where our hotel elevator was too small to fit both me and my wife with our carry-on bags (we're not fatties) and the room was barely large enough to fit the bed. The bathroom sink had been notched so the shower door could slide most of the way open. The toilet was so close to the wall I never really figured out where my right leg was supposed to go. I can't imagine the photos on Booking.com were even of a hotel anywhere near that building, let alone any one room in that particular hotel. But it was two blocks from the Louvre and we were there 6 hours a day so who gave a rat's arse of a fark.

/and it was under $200 a night, so, score, I guess.


and within range of the arc d triumphe? I think we stayed at the same place. Try hotel fabric next time, though it's a metro ride from everything
 
2014-06-19 06:48:20 PM

BigLuca: Personally, I like painting "YOU WILL DIE TONIGHT" on the comforter or headboard using a diluted highlighter solution.  Just incase the next guy has a black light.


Try this instead.  Pretty much invisible
 
2014-06-19 06:50:48 PM

Fano: Scrotastic Method: I just back from Paris, where our hotel elevator was too small to fit both me and my wife with our carry-on bags (we're not fatties) and the room was barely large enough to fit the bed. The bathroom sink had been notched so the shower door could slide most of the way open. The toilet was so close to the wall I never really figured out where my right leg was supposed to go. I can't imagine the photos on Booking.com were even of a hotel anywhere near that building, let alone any one room in that particular hotel. But it was two blocks from the Louvre and we were there 6 hours a day so who gave a rat's arse of a fark.

/and it was under $200 a night, so, score, I guess.

and within range of the arc d triumphe? I think we stayed at the same place. Try hotel fabric next time, though it's a metro ride from everything


It was the opposite direction from the Louvre that the Arc is, closer to Les Halles...Rue de Rivoili, over where the Sephora and Forever 21s are. That first night I was like, fark, we flew 11 hours to freaking Paris just to be by a H&M?? 

I'll remember Hotel Fabric. Thanks!
 
2014-06-19 06:55:34 PM
So basically, the key to getting a better hotel room is...

Ask for one.
 
2014-06-19 07:03:32 PM
Expedia. We used 3rd party one season. One season.

"But I'm a Diamond-Encrusted Titanium Member!" Sorry, don't do that either.

/Crazy Hotel Worker
 
2014-06-19 07:26:43 PM

Betep: Expedia. We used 3rd party one season. One season.

"But I'm a Diamond-Encrusted Titanium Member!" Sorry, don't do that either.

/Crazy Hotel Worker


I always assumed those had as much sway as a FOP sticker on your car when you get pulled over.
 
2014-06-19 08:14:35 PM

Betep: Expedia. We used 3rd party one season. One season.

"But I'm a Diamond-Encrusted Titanium Member!" Sorry, don't do that either.

/Crazy Hotel Worker


My experience has been that any decent hotel group will know my member status without me ever having to produce said blingy card and will upgrade me to the highest class of room available without me asking.  I've asked to be downgraded when they automatically put me in a suite that was a long walk/elevator trip from the parking or pool or the wifi was weak in that part of the building.
 
2014-06-19 08:53:08 PM

Scrotastic Method: Fano: Scrotastic Method: I just back from Paris, where our hotel elevator was too small to fit both me and my wife with our carry-on bags (we're not fatties) and the room was barely large enough to fit the bed. The bathroom sink had been notched so the shower door could slide most of the way open. The toilet was so close to the wall I never really figured out where my right leg was supposed to go. I can't imagine the photos on Booking.com were even of a hotel anywhere near that building, let alone any one room in that particular hotel. But it was two blocks from the Louvre and we were there 6 hours a day so who gave a rat's arse of a fark.

/and it was under $200 a night, so, score, I guess.

and within range of the arc d triumphe? I think we stayed at the same place. Try hotel fabric next time, though it's a metro ride from everything

It was the opposite direction from the Louvre that the Arc is, closer to Les Halles...Rue de Rivoili, over where the Sephora and Forever 21s are. That first night I was like, fark, we flew 11 hours to freaking Paris just to be by a H&M?? 

I'll remember Hotel Fabric. Thanks!


I can recommend Hotel Chopin as well.  It's right near a Metro stop and is in one of the covered passages (Joffrey, if I remember right).  It's clean, pleasant, easy to get to, and not expensive.  And before I even had a chance to complain about the construction literally right outside my door they comped my breakfasts.  (They started construction at 9ish, but thanks to some wicked jet lag, I was going for long walks between 5ish and 8ish, grabbing breakfast, then trying to take a power nap until 10.  Like many Americans trying to cram in a European vacation in a week, by the time I got over the jet leg my trip was over.)

I do wish I worked someplace where I got more than two weeks off a year, but that's another post....

There's even a good graphic novel shop in the passage, just two doors down.  The French take graphic novels seriously - I love picking up fascinating new titles to muddle through, language-wise, while there.

/also a shop that seems to sell only pimp canes
//very, very nice pimp canes
 
2014-06-19 09:18:22 PM
I'll keep this in mind if I ever happen to take a trip to Australia.
 
2014-06-19 10:10:38 PM

wxboy: So basically, the key to getting a better hotel room is...

Ask for one.


Yep! Thanks, Internet.
 
2014-06-19 10:11:46 PM

Unobtanium:  The pillows were the size of a small couch pillow


Seriously, when did this become the farking norm?? I like having a big hotel bed with lots of big pillows. Lately it seems every chain is going to the trend of 5-6 small (~12") square pillows on the bed. It sucks.
 
2014-06-19 10:22:12 PM
Room location doesn't really bother me, because the loud obnoxious brats always find my room and run around the hallway screaming at 7am. That drives me nuts.

And the maids that don't know I'm checking out that day or don't care that I put the do not disturb sign on the door.
 
2014-06-19 11:53:38 PM
On military TDYs, they would often give the cheapest, worst rooms they can, since they have an agreement with the local military base that they will only charge xx dollars (usually far below their usual rates).

Best advice for military members in this scenario: If you're there for months at a time, stay in your shiatty room for the first week. On your way out in the morning and back in at night, chat it up with the girls at the front desk. After a week or so, drop the hint that you'd like a room with a nicer view, or a different floor. A smile and a bit of flirting can move you from a shiatty room with crappy wifi service to a suite with the 46" flat screen TV and hot tub in the bathroom with no additional cost to you or the military.

Oh, and try to get a suite at Candlewood Suites. Some of the best suites I've been in have been with that chain.
 
2014-06-20 12:31:28 AM

phaseolus: I'm spending the week in exciting Celaya, Guanajuato and I can't complain about the hotel. It's pretty nice.

Still I'm really curious what the inside of those 50 year old crumbling brick things on the edge of town look like...


Hows the alley?
 
2014-06-20 02:30:33 AM
Want a better room?  Don't be a dick to the people at the desk and take no for an answer, at least for a little while.  It may genuinely be "there's nothing I can do" or "there's nothing I can do for the next few nights".
 
2014-06-20 05:06:52 AM
I found half a finger in my room. They gave me a free breakfast.
 
2014-06-20 06:08:11 AM

diaphoresis: I found half a finger in my room. They gave me a free breakfast.



Finger foods or a whole meal?
 
2014-06-20 06:09:58 AM
Heh. When in Italy, have your 11-year-old daughter greet the desk staff in rudimentary Italian ("buon giorno", etc), then ask them (again, in australian-italian) where we can find a nice family restaurant nearby.

/ girl uses charm
// it's very effective
 
2014-06-20 08:05:37 AM
No adjoining rooms. Never again.  Farking people having the loudest sex I've ever heard four very early mornings in a row during the week when I was on business travel.  WHO FARKS AT 3 AM FOR 2 HOURS EVERY NIGHT 4 DAYS STRAIGHT?
 
2014-06-20 09:23:30 AM

bhcompy: No adjoining rooms. Never again.  Farking people having the loudest sex I've ever heard four very early mornings in a row during the week when I was on business travel.  WHO FARKS AT 3 AM FOR 2 HOURS EVERY NIGHT 4 DAYS STRAIGHT?


Me, when I'm traveling on business. 3am is discretion o'clock with the hot project manager. That hotel is crawling with colleagues and this company is prone to game of thrones politicking.

Sorry.
 
2014-06-20 01:15:12 PM

zjoik: phaseolus: I'm spending the week in exciting Celaya, Guanajuato and I can't complain about the hotel. It's pretty nice.

Still I'm really curious what the inside of those 50 year old crumbling brick things on the edge of town look like...

Hows the alley?


Not particularly horrible or depressing. My room has a view of a mostly (working class I'm guessing) residential neighborhood a step or two below those gated communities. There's a little graffiti, some of the walled-in yards have fences topped with razor wire, and there are tons of little shops and businesses nearby. Candy store, guy who sells fresh-squeezed jugo de naranja, a bunch of tire repair places.

I'm kind of amazed at the number of tire repair places you see everywhere. I'm guessing it's a business you can get started pretty easily down here.
 
2014-06-20 01:24:04 PM
Tip #1: Don't be Norman Krasner
 
2014-06-20 06:56:40 PM
I found not being a jerk to the desk clerk works wonders.

I normally don't have to even ask for a good room.  I say "please" and "thank you" and ask them how their day is and tell them that "I am not picky" and whatever they think is the best is fine with me.

I generally get really good treatment by being easy to please and agreeable.


I also sometimes have my son tell them its his birthday and his fist trip to "The City".  That helps too. :)
 
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