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(The Atlantic)   The seven signs you're in a cult. I was going to make a joke, but the punch line was too long   (theatlantic.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, Hagrid, Lou Engle, Travis Bickle, behavior change, Morpheus  
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11087 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 10:27 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



210 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-18 09:36:16 AM  
Nice!
 
2014-06-18 09:45:31 AM  
FTA "5. Dishonoring the family unit"

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
 
2014-06-18 10:08:29 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-06-18 10:22:11 AM  
I see what you did there.
 
2014-06-18 10:27:07 AM  
You're always arguing with Ian Astbury. Oh no wait, that's a sign you're in THE Cult.
 
2014-06-18 10:27:25 AM  
And that's when the phrase  "keeping up with the Jones" died off.
 
2014-06-18 10:27:29 AM  
+1 for the headline
 
2014-06-18 10:29:25 AM  
+1, nice headline
 
2014-06-18 10:29:31 AM  
*snrk*

Bravo, subby. Well played.
 
2014-06-18 10:29:46 AM  

Langston: +1 for the headline


-1 for your retarded post
 
2014-06-18 10:30:29 AM  
Sounds like Obama followers.... seriously.
 
2014-06-18 10:31:09 AM  
OUCH, Subby.
 
2014-06-18 10:31:13 AM  
6 and 7.  Signs you may be giving up one cult for another.
 
2014-06-18 10:31:43 AM  

Sybarite: You're always arguing with Ian Astbury. Oh no wait, that's a sign you're in THE Cult.


I see what you did there, but in Living Colour.
 
2014-06-18 10:32:10 AM  
8. Requiring a $5 per month fee for the privilege of being a member.
 
2014-06-18 10:32:55 AM  
I first was that's Torah study. But now, that's my alumni association wanting donations.
 
2014-06-18 10:33:07 AM  
If you own a love removal machine, you might just be in a cult.
 
2014-06-18 10:33:23 AM  
image.truckinweb.com

"Ummm, yeah... I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask for an explanation for the headline. Mm Mmm... okay, thanks"
 
2014-06-18 10:33:26 AM  
You are Mormon?
 
2014-06-18 10:34:45 AM  

bonno: "Ummm, yeah... I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask for an explanation for the headline. Mm Mmm... okay, thanks"


Punch is a lot like Flavor-Aid, if that helps.
 
2014-06-18 10:35:21 AM  

Sybarite: You're always arguing with Ian Astbury. Oh no wait, that's a sign you're in THE Cult.


Damn, came to make this joke.

*shakes tiny fist*
 
GBB
2014-06-18 10:35:40 AM  
The difference between a cult and a religion:

In a cult, a man tells you the best way for you to live.
In a religion, a man tells you that a god told him the best way for you to live.

That, and tax breaks.
 
2014-06-18 10:36:01 AM  
funnyinternetmemes.com
 
2014-06-18 10:36:05 AM  
Well played subby
 
2014-06-18 10:37:11 AM  
You just need more members. I think once you have a million you become a religion.
 
2014-06-18 10:37:23 AM  
Sounds like the Republican Party...
 
2014-06-18 10:37:38 AM  
Too dumb and dull. Didn't read.
 
2014-06-18 10:39:14 AM  
Do Crossfit people count as cultists?

\ that's a cult
\\ DNRTFA
 
2014-06-18 10:39:21 AM  

busy chillin': You just need more members. I think once you have a million you become a religion.


And I think you have to make it past the 10 year mark without all killing yourselves.  That is another big one.
 
2014-06-18 10:39:25 AM  

Relatively Obscure: bonno: "Ummm, yeah... I'm gonna have to go ahead and ask for an explanation for the headline. Mm Mmm... okay, thanks"

Punch is a lot like Flavor-Aid, if that helps.


Look up the Jim Jones cult.
 
2014-06-18 10:41:01 AM  
Do you wear the graven image of a dead man nailed to a stick on your person or keep one in your home or car?
How would you feel about a cult that used a dead cat nailed to a mail box, or a dead rat nailed to a peppermint stick?
You are some brainwashed, creepy mofos, you dead-guy-on-a-stick worshipers.
You are in a cult. A big, twisted, sick, cult.
 
2014-06-18 10:41:07 AM  
Those seven signs point to "it's a cult if it's not one of the Big 3". Which, apart from being hilariously without self-awareness, is factually incorrect.

What makes scripture immune to cultism? Has no one ever heard of [name a leading religious figure in the US]?
 
2014-06-18 10:41:53 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 10:43:01 AM  

SpiceWeaselElzar: busy chillin': You just need more members. I think once you have a million you become a religion.

And I think you have to make it past the 10 year mark without all killing yourselves.  That is another big one.


"Hello congregation. Thank you for your support. This week WE ARE BUYING NIKES! NO QUESTIONS!"
 
2014-06-18 10:43:29 AM  

Sybarite: You're always arguing with Ian Astbury. Oh no wait, that's a sign you're in THE Cult.


Aren't you a lil devil.
 
2014-06-18 10:43:36 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law


We didn't need help with that, thanks.

InterruptingQuirk: 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother


Sounds like puberty.
 
2014-06-18 10:44:21 AM  

Dr Dreidel: Those seven signs point to "it's a cult if it's not one of the Big 3". Which, apart from being hilariously without self-awareness, is factually incorrect.

What makes scripture immune to cultism? Has no one ever heard of [name a leading religious figure in the US]?


What are the Big 3?
 
2014-06-18 10:44:36 AM  
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-06-18 10:45:11 AM  
TFA:
1. Opposing critical thinking
2. Isolating members and penalizing them for leaving
3. Emphasizing special doctrines outside scripture
4. Seeking inappropriate loyalty to their leaders
5. Dishonoring the family unit
6. Crossing Biblical boundaries of behavior (versus sexual purity and personal ownership)
7. Separation from the Church


Sounds like Fark.
 
2014-06-18 10:45:26 AM  
here are four more signs

www.thejerusalemconnection.us
 
2014-06-18 10:45:41 AM  
What, no link to the Bonewits list?
 
2014-06-18 10:45:46 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: FTA "5. Dishonoring the family unit"

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'

"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.


That's not a one-way street.

When a family tries to keep a believer from doing what his faith calls for, then its tough rockos on the family.

I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of families that would support the idea of "go and sell everything you own, give away all the money and come and follow me".
 
2014-06-18 10:45:47 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: Dr Dreidel: Those seven signs point to "it's a cult if it's not one of the Big 3". Which, apart from being hilariously without self-awareness, is factually incorrect.

What makes scripture immune to cultism? Has no one ever heard of [name a leading religious figure in the US]?

What are the Big 3?


Roosevelt, Churchill, Stalin.
 
2014-06-18 10:47:34 AM  
When I found out he and Bethany were meeting every night for prayer with their two roommates, June and Justin*, I begged them to let me join. It was discouraging to see some of my best and only friends at Southwestern sharing an experience from which I was excluded; I wanted to belong to their group.  I was lonely and bored, and I wanted to experience something extraordinary before I left school: a mystery to solve, a battle to fight, a romantic quest, like the heroes in the stories I had read. All my favorite songs and stories ended with some powerful and often tragic moment of catharsis. I wanted college to end like that. If it didn't, my life would be boring, anti-climactic ... normal.


Called it:

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-06-18 10:48:21 AM  
Her church's name was IHOP.  There's a sign right there.  Lots of members, though. (looks around at all the fatties)
 
2014-06-18 10:48:36 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: Dr Dreidel: Those seven signs point to "it's a cult if it's not one of the Big 3". Which, apart from being hilariously without self-awareness, is factually incorrect.

What makes scripture immune to cultism? Has no one ever heard of [name a leading religious figure in the US]?

What are the Big 3?


Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax.
 
2014-06-18 10:49:53 AM  
 living in Kansas City, Missouri is the real problem here:

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 10:50:33 AM  

Langston: +1 for the headline


I don't get it.
 
2014-06-18 10:50:41 AM  
I would upvote this headline if I was still amongst the elite, Subs. I laughed at the headline.

Oh, and Scientology is evil, evil, evil.
 
2014-06-18 10:50:42 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: InterruptingQuirk: Dr Dreidel: Those seven signs point to "it's a cult if it's not one of the Big 3". Which, apart from being hilariously without self-awareness, is factually incorrect.

What makes scripture immune to cultism? Has no one ever heard of [name a leading religious figure in the US]?

What are the Big 3?

Roosevelt, Churchill, Stalin.


Ford, Chrysler, GM. LeBron, Wade, Bosh (or KG, PP, and Rondo). Maddux, Avery, Smoltz. Windows, Mac, Linux. Apple, Samsung, HTC. Father, Son, Holy Hand Grenade.

// Judaism, Islam, Christianity
// or the prosthetic that That Actress from Total Recall wore
 
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