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(News.com.au)   Employment expert reveals that winning a job depends on a great resume, outstanding qualifications, stellar references, passing the water test. Wait, what?   (news.com.au ) divider line
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5192 clicks; posted to Business » on 18 Jun 2014 at 2:28 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-18 01:00:05 PM  
Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.
 
2014-06-18 02:33:10 PM  
All these trick "tests" just ensure you hire people who merely will do well on trick tests.
 
2014-06-18 02:36:29 PM  
Are you farking kidding me?  You give me a glass of water for an interview in a building where I do not (yet) work, then expect me to grab it at the end and then ... do what with it?  Take it home?  You idiots haven't given me the right to just wander around your building yet, so how what am I expected to do with it?  "Hey, farkwit, don't forget this glass... hey, did I just get the job?"
 
2014-06-18 02:37:57 PM  
This actually seems like a pretty good idea and one that would work.

Offices can be stressful at times and people need to work together.  I have seen how inconsiderate people can clash and add unnecessary stress to situations.

An example is at the end of a lunchtime meeting. Who stays to help tidy up and wipe things down.
 
2014-06-18 02:38:25 PM  
"Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."
 
2014-06-18 02:40:43 PM  

Grapple: Are you farking kidding me?  You give me a glass of water for an interview in a building where I do not (yet) work, then expect me to grab it at the end and then ... do what with it?  Take it home?  You idiots haven't given me the right to just wander around your building yet, so how what am I expected to do with it?  "Hey, farkwit, don't forget this glass... hey, did I just get the job?"


I think it's considered a pass if you hold it up and say "And what do I do with this?" They want someone who doesn't rely on underpants gnomes to get things done, and "someone else"'s job can also be a part of MY job.

// "Why do I have to clean up after myself? That's why we have janitors!"
// "No, Timmy. That's why you're an asshole."
 
2014-06-18 02:41:07 PM  

Grapple: Are you farking kidding me?  You give me a glass of water for an interview in a building where I do not (yet) work, then expect me to grab it at the end and then ... do what with it?  Take it home?  You idiots haven't given me the right to just wander around your building yet, so how what am I expected to do with it?  "Hey, farkwit, don't forget this glass... hey, did I just get the job?"


Maybe ask the person what he/she would like you to do with it?  Is it that hard?  I do it everytime I visit somebody's office.  They offer me water, I sip it, and at the end ask what to do with it.  Sometimes I walk with them to the breakroom to put it in the sink, sometimes they handle, sometimes they say leave it.
These are situations where I don't know my way around, maybe haven't met the person before then, and can be very stressful and argumentative (type of work I do).  But being considerate is still important.

Manners weren't created as a way to flirt with people that you like.  They were created JUST FOR situations where you are disagreeable etc. They give a protocol to follow in any situation, yes, even a nerve wracking interview.
 
2014-06-18 02:42:11 PM  
www.medialifemagazine.com:8080

You're hired!
 
2014-06-18 02:51:04 PM  
Can I pick it up and stroll to the server farm?
 
2014-06-18 03:06:36 PM  

EvilEgg: Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.



This!

All of the above.

Just another example of HR trying to insist they are more than "the people who do the paperwork and couldn't get a real job"
 
2014-06-18 03:08:26 PM  
This is why your HR department keeps hiring friendly, polite people who can't find their own ass with both hands when it comes to doing their job.
 
2014-06-18 03:18:54 PM  
The crux of this little test is to see if the candidate is polite and considerate, and offer to clean up after themselves or if they're the type of person who leaves things behind and expects someone else to do the dirty work.

"We got suckered into a consultation package from a firm specializing in telling us how to interview people, and this was one of the things they came up with, so we just rain with it"


He said it's something the company instils into its own employees - to clean up after themselves in their own office or at someone else's office.

"we're cutting costs by reducing custodial staff"


He'll also throw in questions such as "What's the most valuable lesson you learnt from your parents?"

"I remember answering a question like this on my college entrance application, so i will try to use it wherever i can"
 
2014-06-18 03:19:47 PM  
Would you like some water?
No, no thank you.
/DNA
 
2014-06-18 03:28:22 PM  

EvilEgg: Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.


People like you, who make excuses for failing, are exactly the type I would hope to avoid hiring with this test. Thank you for making my job easier.
 
2014-06-18 03:29:11 PM  
What if you pick up the water glass throw it away and now the custodian union goes on strike.  Would I still get the job?
 
2014-06-18 03:33:13 PM  

CokeBear: EvilEgg: Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.

People like you, who make excuses for failing, are exactly the type I would hope to avoid hiring with this test. Thank you for making my job easier.


People like you, who attach deep meaning to stupid tests, are exactly the type I would hope to avoid working for.  Thank you for making my life easier.
 
2014-06-18 03:37:22 PM  
Never had this happen to me. Anytime I have been offered a beverage I have always politly declined. I am nervous enough and they dont need to see me burping at the interview. The thing I have hated the most at interviews is when they ask you to fill out background forms, if I am nervous and my hand is a little shaky my handwriting will look like a 4 year olds.
 
2014-06-18 03:38:04 PM  
What about the electric kool aid acid test, will they give me one of those?
 
2014-06-18 03:44:10 PM  
Employers love high unemployment - it gives them a large pool of meat to choose from and they know the ones they do hire won't give them any sh*t because they'll be more afraid of losing their jobs than they normally would be.

Great Job References:  kinda' like a High School Popularity contest.  just because the prospective employee is popular and has lots of friends/references doesn't mean you want to hire them. they might just be good ass lickers.

the water part makes sense.  unless the interviewee is nervous and not noticing a glass of water.
 
2014-06-18 03:46:39 PM  
What if they ask me if i want any HOH??
 
2014-06-18 03:48:49 PM  
THE most important job interview question is:  if i asked you to drop your pants, bend over, and spread your cheeks, would you comply??

the answer, if you want the job, is always 'yes sir'.
 
2014-06-18 03:49:28 PM  

CokeBear: EvilEgg: Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.

People like you, who make excuses for failing, are exactly the type I would hope to avoid hiring with this test. Thank you for making my job easier.


This. None of those excuses are valid if you simply ask "what should I do with this?". As the article states: "It isn't a deal breaker", so it sounds like if it has any effect at all, then you were no standout to begin with.
 
GBB
2014-06-18 03:55:05 PM  
schol.files.wordpress.com

Even though genetic screening has been made illegal, the practice is still commonplace.  If you don't voluntarily give them a sample, they can just take one from your glass of water, hand shake, or the saliva from your application envelope.
 
2014-06-18 04:05:32 PM  
Sounds like getting a job at wal mart has gotten a lot harder.
 
2014-06-18 04:06:14 PM  
The water test is something I use when hiring, except I do it a little differently. I ask the job candidate to wear a white t-shirt with no undergarments to the interview and when they arrive, I pour the water on the front of the shirt. I find that 100% of the men and most of the older women fail that test.
 
2014-06-18 04:09:02 PM  
Never seen that test. Although all the companies I've gone to are smart enough to not have an HR department and the managers hire their own.
 
2014-06-18 04:12:00 PM  
I have always rejected the water offered before the interview.
 
2014-06-18 04:30:59 PM  

EvilEgg: Another stupid thing by stupid HR people.

There are plenty of good reasons not to pick up the water glass, just off the top of my head.
1) It's not your office, you don't know where the sink is to drain the glass
2) You didn't ask for the water, so it isn't necessarily yours
3) An interview is a stressful time for a candidate, may just slip your mind
4) You are a guest not certain of protocol
5) Perhaps the interviewer was still thirsty and just taking the water back to his cube
6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.


Sounds better than "Estimate the volume of ping pong balls that will fill a school bus".
 
2014-06-18 04:49:19 PM  

bingethinker: This is why your HR department keeps hiring friendly, polite people who can't find their own ass with both hands when it comes to doing their job.


I know someone who has trouble in interviews because he prepares for stuff like this. He has prepared responses to common stupid HR questions. I've never done that. I tend to just give them them weird looks and not even attempt to answer the dumb questions, especially if it's just an HR drone monitoring the interview. Never had a problem interviewing.
 
2014-06-18 04:49:32 PM  
Mr Kwong said there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to hiring and it's often about instinct.

And this is why I don't get hired. I make terrible first impressions no matter what I do. Also, it just goes to show you that H.R. has their head so far up their ass they don't even realize they're natively redundant.

If anyone knows where that bloody study that showed that H.R. knows if they're going to hire someone or not in the first 30 seconds, I'd appreciate it. I can't find it anymore.
 
2014-06-18 04:56:32 PM  

ajgeek: Mr Kwong said there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to hiring and it's often about instinct.

And this is why I don't get hired. I make terrible first impressions no matter what I do. Also, it just goes to show you that H.R. has their head so far up their ass they don't even realize they're natively redundant.

If anyone knows where that bloody study that showed that H.R. knows if they're going to hire someone or not in the first 30 seconds, I'd appreciate it. I can't find it anymore.


If HR is hiring your employees your company is doomed.
 
2014-06-18 05:30:18 PM  

ajgeek: If anyone knows where that bloody study that showed that H.R. knows if they're going to hire someone or not in the first 30 seconds, I'd appreciate it. I can't find it anymore.


When I used to do interviews (not as the manager, but as a second or third set of eyes) it was always really awkward when you know 30 seconds in that it's going really badly (and they probably know, too) but you're stuck in that conference room for another 14.5 minutes.

// If the company is using HR drones to do actual interviews, they'd have to give me an extra 25% to take the job.
 
2014-06-18 05:45:19 PM  
Throw the glass against the wall and yell "THIS DRINK SUCKS"

I absolutely promise that HR will remember your interview.
 
2014-06-18 05:53:52 PM  
"Have a glass of water."

"Water? Like from the toilet?"
 
2014-06-18 06:10:58 PM  
I just say, "no thanks, I've got my own", and take out my flask.
 
2014-06-18 06:41:15 PM  

It's a only a 'test' if you're a jerk.

In other words, if you're generally considerate and affable, this isn't actually a 'test'. Only assholes would consider this a 'test', because they have to figure out how to actually act in such situations.
 
2014-06-18 06:44:07 PM  

Russ1642: ajgeek: Mr Kwong said there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to hiring and it's often about instinct.

And this is why I don't get hired. I make terrible first impressions no matter what I do. Also, it just goes to show you that H.R. has their head so far up their ass they don't even realize they're natively redundant.

If anyone knows where that bloody study that showed that H.R. knows if they're going to hire someone or not in the first 30 seconds, I'd appreciate it. I can't find it anymore.

If HR is hiring your employees your company is doomed.


QFT

On the plus side if I was a perspective employee I would love this test.  It would tell me where I don't want to work.
 
2014-06-18 06:58:32 PM  
In case any married Farkers in here haven't noticed, your wife (or husband) does the water test, too.  Every night.

Don't fail it too many times.
 
2014-06-18 07:02:07 PM  

BMFPitt: ajgeek: If anyone knows where that bloody study that showed that H.R. knows if they're going to hire someone or not in the first 30 seconds, I'd appreciate it. I can't find it anymore.

When I used to do interviews (not as the manager, but as a second or third set of eyes) it was always really awkward when you know 30 seconds in that it's going really badly (and they probably know, too) but you're stuck in that conference room for another 14.5 minutes.

// If the company is using HR drones to do actual interviews, they'd have to give me an extra 25% to take the job.


I wish people would just say that to me. I mean, if I'm clearly unqualified that's one thing, but if you're not going to hire me because "I don't feel right," you're just screwing yourself. Moreover, if you had called my references you'd have known about my pattern of bad first impressions, followed by "he's one of the hardest working people I've ever had the pleasure to have." Because it's true; I am and always will be.
 
2014-06-18 07:08:42 PM  

ajgeek: I wish people would just say that to me. I mean, if I'm clearly unqualified that's one thing, but if you're not going to hire me because "I don't feel right," you're just screwing yourself. Moreover, if you had called my references you'd have known about my pattern of bad first impressions, followed by "he's one of the hardest working people I've ever had the pleasure to have." Because it's true; I am and always will be.


If I know you're not getting hired like 30 seconds in (well maybe closer to 90) it's probably because I asked you some technical questions and you either tried to make something up, or you started spoiuting random buzzwords.

And then I'd ask you to write a function that a 2nd year CS student should be able to write on a whiteboard, and it will be very uncomfortable for both of us if you state blankly.
 
2014-06-18 07:15:55 PM  

EvilEgg: 6) You don't want to work a company that would give you the stupid water test.


this one. what the fark, they are already messing with my head? fark them!
 
2014-06-18 07:18:38 PM  

BMFPitt: ajgeek: I wish people would just say that to me. I mean, if I'm clearly unqualified that's one thing, but if you're not going to hire me because "I don't feel right," you're just screwing yourself. Moreover, if you had called my references you'd have known about my pattern of bad first impressions, followed by "he's one of the hardest working people I've ever had the pleasure to have." Because it's true; I am and always will be.

If I know you're not getting hired like 30 seconds in (well maybe closer to 90) it's probably because I asked you some technical questions and you either tried to make something up, or you started spoiuting random buzzwords.

And then I'd ask you to write a function that a 2nd year CS student should be able to write on a whiteboard, and it will be very uncomfortable for both of us if you state blankly.


I wouldn't apply for a job I know I couldn't do. That's a waste of both of our time.

The article I've been hunting down periodically is a bunch of H.R. Reps who hired based on their "gut feeling" about a candidate, meaning the extroverts and flashy folk were more apt to get jobs. If memory serves, they also said that ugly and fat people were denied instantly (but weren't told) regardless of their qualifications. The whole thing was damning and I was an idiot and forgot to bookmark it.

/I'm not afraid to say "I don't know, but..." and actually get an appropriate answer.
 
2014-06-18 07:26:48 PM  
While you're at it, why not also ask the candidate which way a toilet paper roll should go on the holder, whether they put mayonnaise or miracle whip on a sandwich, and which side of the escalator they should stand on. If any of their answers are wrong, they're OUT. Oh and check the color of their socks. Any color other than medium gray means will make a bad employee and they should be shown the door. Also if their pit sweat stains are asymmetrical.
 
2014-06-18 07:29:06 PM  

ajgeek: The article I've been hunting down periodically is a bunch of H.R. Reps who hired based on their "gut feeling" about a candidate


And like I said, if HR people are conducting the actual interview, that's a massive red flag about the way the company is run.
 
2014-06-18 08:09:41 PM  
I

ajgeek: BMFPitt: ajgeek: I wish people would just say that to me. I mean, if I'm clearly unqualified that's one thing, but if you're not going to hire me because "I don't feel right," you're just screwing yourself. Moreover, if you had called my references you'd have known about my pattern of bad first impressions, followed by "he's one of the hardest working people I've ever had the pleasure to have." Because it's true; I am and always will be.

If I know you're not getting hired like 30 seconds in (well maybe closer to 90) it's probably because I asked you some technical questions and you either tried to make something up, or you started spoiuting random buzzwords.

And then I'd ask you to write a function that a 2nd year CS student should be able to write on a whiteboard, and it will be very uncomfortable for both of us if you state blankly.

I wouldn't apply for a job I know I couldn't do. That's a waste of both of our time.

The article I've been hunting down periodically is a bunch of H.R. Reps who hired based on their "gut feeling" about a candidate, meaning the extroverts and flashy folk were more apt to get jobs. If memory serves, they also said that ugly and fat people were denied instantly (but weren't told) regardless of their qualifications. The whole thing was damning and I was an idiot and forgot to bookmark it.

/I'm not afraid to say "I don't know, but..." and actually get an appropriate answer.


 work at a fortune 100 and our HR is the first line filter. We get consistently choice candidates after HR is done passing a few over to us for 2nd and 3rd interviews. yes we miss out on some "hard workers", but there are shiatloads of "hard workers", and superworkers that can hold a conversation, communicate effectively and are comfortable in any social/business settings.

Life is superficial - don't like fatty discrimination, workout and get fit. Work every advantage you can because some other sod can do what you can + some of these other things. Who do you think they'll hire?

Spend some time learning and practicing reading folks and using non-verbal cues to your advantage. Develop a killer gaze - assert some farking dominance and own that interview - own all those biatches in the room. They should be lucky enough to work for you. Alpha the shiat out of that interview and when you get the job you come back here and thank us for the reality check.

TLDR: Being a hard worker is not enough
 
2014-06-18 08:28:19 PM  
Proper etiquette would be for the host (employer) to clear the glass afterward. If you offer a guest a beverage, you don't demand they clean up afterward.
 
2014-06-18 09:25:21 PM  

Robo Beat: "Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her."

"Just like that?"

"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."


I don't know what that's from, but it's 100% accurate.
 
2014-06-18 09:29:45 PM  
i prefer the big tit test-see pic#3
 
2014-06-18 09:33:27 PM  

Russ1642: bingethinker: This is why your HR department keeps hiring friendly, polite people who can't find their own ass with both hands when it comes to doing their job.

I know someone who has trouble in interviews because he prepares for stuff like this. He has prepared responses to common stupid HR questions. I've never done that. I tend to just give them them weird looks and not even attempt to answer the dumb questions, especially if it's just an HR drone monitoring the interview. Never had a problem interviewing.


I had an interview a few years ago where they asked the stereotypical idiot hr questions. The worst was "5 positive and negative qualities about yourself". It was almost as if they just did a google search for interview questions. I came up with three "negatives" and they just sat there staring at me like the hr goons they were.

Most of those questions are bullshiat. Who is going to be honest there? I mean "I like to drink and will come in hungover" is accurate but won't get you hired. Instead you have to make up some stuff that makes you sound like an arsehole. For example. "It's hard to prioritize because all of my clients are number one".

What happened to finding out if the person has a good personality and work ethic?
 
2014-06-18 09:48:05 PM  

Grapple: Are you farking kidding me?  You give me a glass of water for an interview in a building where I do not (yet) work, then expect me to grab it at the end and then ... do what with it?  Take it home?  You idiots haven't given me the right to just wander around your building yet, so how what am I expected to do with it?  "Hey, farkwit, don't forget this glass... hey, did I just get the job?"


Yeah, pick it up, finish it and hand it to the interviewer and say "I don't know where this goes"
 
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