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(WTKR)   "We really never expected all of this, to be honest, but God does blessings every day, That's the reason that little kitten just showed up here - because God knew we would do whatever we needed to do to make sure that kitten was safe"   (wtkr.com) divider line 62
    More: Florida, Indian River County, kittens, iReports, toolbox  
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4245 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 6:19 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-06-18 01:10:40 PM  
God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.
 
2014-06-18 01:22:53 PM  

Lando Lincoln: God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.


Or combine the two!

CATNADO!!!

"The Catnado wiped out an entire trailer park and killed two people but damn if it wasn't a cute little fuzzy wuzzy whirlwind of death."
 
2014-06-18 01:46:30 PM  
Errand Frazier of Vero Beach wasn't quite sure what to do at first when he heard purring coming from his Chevy pickup, parked outside his house in late May.

I guess I can understand that.  A finely tuned engine on a Chevy?!
 
2014-06-18 02:48:47 PM  
God's priorities are farked up.
 
2014-06-18 03:28:16 PM  
That kitten must be awesome, because God could give two shiats for all the other kittens and other baby animals that die every day in horrible conditions.
 
2014-06-18 03:49:38 PM  
Your god sounds like a dick, buddy.
 
2014-06-18 04:57:52 PM  
Chevy pickup

It's an improvement.
 
2014-06-18 06:22:02 PM  
His cousins Oddjob and Random Task expressed pride.
 
2014-06-18 06:22:47 PM  
That Florida tag is a real time saver.
 
2014-06-18 06:25:21 PM  
Dear Penthouse,

So I found some pussy the other day...
 
2014-06-18 06:27:52 PM  
Once, just once, I want to see a news clip where the news interviews some guy in the aftermath of a disaster and it goes like this:

"Sir, can you tell me how you feel after being reunited with your cat after the tornado?"

"That rat bastard, God, just tried to kill my precious Mr. Bootsies with a farking tornado.  I'm gonna sin my tits off to get back at him.  *pulls out dick and waves it at the sky*  You hear me, you summabiatch?  I might even blow a queer or two to even the score!  Now, I cometh unto you!!!"
 
2014-06-18 06:28:37 PM  

Doctor Funkenstein: I want to see a news clip where the news interviews


Way to go, Funkentard.
 
2014-06-18 06:31:29 PM  
fark that pussy
 
2014-06-18 06:33:45 PM  
I would sacrifice my car's sheet metal to rescue a small, friendly animal, but I would be far more annoyed about it than this fellow.
 
2014-06-18 06:33:50 PM  
Actually, the cat's an atheist.
 
2014-06-18 06:34:20 PM  

Lando Lincoln: God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.


He's too busy killing them when you masturbate.
 
2014-06-18 06:35:40 PM  
And religious folks wonder why us areligious find them to be a bit odd sometimes.
 
2014-06-18 06:35:46 PM  
I like the pussy hole.
 
2014-06-18 06:36:52 PM  
Since the cat could get out to eat food, I'd try a humane trap first before I cut up my truck.
 
2014-06-18 06:37:11 PM  
"We really never expected all of this, to be honest, but God does blessings every day"

She said it didn't cross their mind to look into repairing it because she knew they couldn't afford it. Both have disabilities; Errand Frazier has macular degeneration

i.imgur.com


/Good job saving teh kitteh
 
2014-06-18 06:38:48 PM  

MikeBoomshadow: His cousins Oddjob and Random Task expressed pride.


Story was maid for fark.

Don't understand why they needed to pry the truck open.
 
2014-06-18 06:43:27 PM  
LAUGHTER OLDNEWSL
 
2014-06-18 06:44:39 PM  

Primitive Screwhead: Lando Lincoln: God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.

Or combine the two!

CATNADO!!!

"The Catnado wiped out an entire trailer park and killed two people but damn if it wasn't a cute little fuzzy wuzzy whirlwind of death."


Brilliant!
[guinness.jpg]
 
2014-06-18 06:46:04 PM  
Religious people think God saves kittens and affects the outcome of football games but has no interest in saving people from floods fires hurricanes and tornadoes.
 
2014-06-18 06:46:28 PM  

JoieD'Zen: Story was maid for fark.


lh6.ggpht.com

What a miad for Fark might look like.
 
2014-06-18 06:47:04 PM  
Miad?  Ohdammitsomuch.
 
2014-06-18 06:50:50 PM  

Precision Boobery: "We really never expected all of this, to be honest, but God does blessings every day"

She said it didn't cross their mind to look into repairing it because she knew they couldn't afford it. Both have disabilities; Errand Frazier has macular degeneration

[i.imgur.com image 500x300]

/Good job saving teh kitteh


I can really see really understand why they'd think that. Otherwise, you'd just have a whole bunch of nothing to live for.
 
2014-06-18 06:52:52 PM  
God is kind of a dick if he's putting animals in your vehicle.
 
2014-06-18 06:55:46 PM  
So god REALLY wanted them to save that kitten... not the rest of the litter, those were torn apart by a fox. Oh, and he couldn't be arsed to do shiat about your macular degeneration - but is still demanding favors from you.

Either their god is a figment of their imagination or he's a complete asshole.
 
2014-06-18 06:57:22 PM  
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. 
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. 
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? 
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" -Epicurus
 
2014-06-18 06:59:50 PM  
About this time you might start to question His omnipotence if he can't even get a kitten out of a truck.
 
2014-06-18 07:03:59 PM  

skozlaw: I would sacrifice my car's sheet metal to rescue a small, friendly animal, but I would be far more annoyed about it than this fellow.


Thing is, in the article the man noted that the food plates left out we're empty. Could be any critter that ate it but if not, then it's pretty obvious the kitten could come out just fine. No car slicing necessary.
 
2014-06-18 07:04:59 PM  

mongbiohazard: So god REALLY wanted them to save that kitten... not the rest of the litter, those were torn apart by a fox. Oh, and he couldn't be arsed to do shiat about your macular degeneration - but is still demanding favors from you.

Either their god is a figment of their imagination or he's a complete asshole.


There is no God, there is, however, the Giant Pigeon Lord. He doesn't care about you, he just sits up in the heavens and randomly dumps great piles of shiat on people.

/makes as much sense as any other religion
//you can't prove the Giant Pigeon Lord doesn't exist either
///it's best not to attract attention when he is ready to drop a load
 
2014-06-18 07:05:25 PM  
If there is a god, I promise you that it isn't spending all it's precious time micro-managing the little things that happen in your day.
 
2014-06-18 07:06:13 PM  

Primitive Screwhead: Lando Lincoln: God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.

Or combine the two!

CATNADO!!!

"The Catnado wiped out an entire trailer park and killed two people but damn if it wasn't a cute little fuzzy wuzzy whirlwind of death."


img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 07:08:42 PM  

meow said the dog: LAUGHTER OLDNEWSL


Where the hell have you been
 
2014-06-18 07:18:42 PM  
God tries to work in mysterious way but people keep farking up his master plan.
 
2014-06-18 07:26:09 PM  

Isitoveryet: God tries to work in mysterious way but people keep farking up his master plan.


Kind of the reverse of what happened here - God did his level best to kill kitty - she was saved by this man, and his own innate gentleness and concern.
So, of course, he gives God the credit.
Well, humility is a virtue.
I guess.
 
2014-06-18 07:32:53 PM  

jjorsett: Since the cat could get out to eat food, I'd try a humane trap first before I cut up my truck.


Exactly! Also, what I do on occasion when my cat gets wedged in someplace I don't want her, I take a can of compressed air (like what you can get to clean electronics with) and a couple blasts of air behind her, she shoots outta that tight spot pretty fast, and thinks twice before trying to get back into there.
 
2014-06-18 07:44:29 PM  
Kudos to the gentle-hearted, compassionate man that did what he felt he had to, to save an innocent creature.
 
2014-06-18 07:51:13 PM  
So the cat is wedged into the frame of the truck, and it's purring? Cats are weird.
 
2014-06-18 08:01:13 PM  

SquiggsIN: If God's worried about a kitten I wonder why he can't stop girls in India from being raped and children in Syria from getting blown up.


Because Allah and the Broad with eight arms or on the case
 
2014-06-18 08:02:54 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: SquiggsIN: If God's worried about a kitten I wonder why he can't stop girls in India from being raped and children in Syria from getting blown up.

Because Allah and the Broad with eight arms are on the case

 
2014-06-18 08:08:37 PM  

mongbiohazard: So god REALLY wanted them to save that kitten... not the rest of the litter, those were torn apart by a fox. Oh, and he couldn't be arsed to do shiat about your macular degeneration - but is still demanding favors from you.

Either their god is a figment of their imagination or he's a complete asshole.


Or maybe (S)he's not into saving all the cats.

Worms and bacteria that would consume the remains need food too.
 
2014-06-18 08:22:32 PM  

strangeluck: jjorsett: Since the cat could get out to eat food, I'd try a humane trap first before I cut up my truck.

Exactly! Also, what I do on occasion when my cat gets wedged in someplace I don't want her, I take a can of compressed air (like what you can get to clean electronics with) and a couple blasts of air behind her, she shoots outta that tight spot pretty fast, and thinks twice before trying to get back into there.


It isn't safe to assume that the kitten even ate the food. I mean, he left it outside... Any critter could have eaten it.
 
2014-06-18 08:26:28 PM  
"...staff member Maria Valencia adorned gloves to catch the kitty..."

i1207.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-18 09:28:21 PM  

Doctor Funkenstein: Once, just once, I want to see a news clip where the news interviews some guy in the aftermath of a disaster and it goes like this:

"Sir, can you tell me how you feel after being reunited with your cat after the tornado?"

"That rat bastard, God, just tried to kill my precious Mr. Bootsies with a farking tornado.  I'm gonna sin my tits off to get back at him.  *pulls out dick and waves it at the sky*  You hear me, you summabiatch?  I might even blow a queer or two to even the score!  Now, I cometh unto you!!!"


I want a reporter to have the following interview whenever someone says, "God was watching over us today" after a disaster:

Interviewee: "Boy, that tornado just came barreling down on us, and we huddled together and prayed and prayed. It took half of our house and destroyed everything we own, but it's plain to see that God was really looking out for us today. I thank the good Lord for keeping us safe."

Reporter: "And what about the old lady that lived across the street that was tossed two miles and was impaled on a fence? Was God too busy saving you to look out for her?"

Interviewee: "Oh, her? She was an old hag. Nobody liked her much. God obviously didn't either."
 
2014-06-18 09:44:04 PM  

Lando Lincoln: God should focus less on kittens and more on preventing tornadoes.


He sends tornadoes as punishment to states that don't believe in equality for all.  Kittens are just what he does to relax.
 
2014-06-18 09:52:18 PM  

stonelotus: "...staff member Maria Valencia adorned gloves to catch the kitty..."


I'm laughing so hard right now.
 
2014-06-18 10:05:27 PM  
..staff member Maria Valencia adorned gloves to catch the kitty..."

Do you perhaps mean "donned" gloves, ace reporter? Don't use a word if you don't know what it means.
 
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