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(Washington Post)   Guards at amusement park tell family that they cannot bring their knives into the park. Father and his four kids decide the rules don't apply to them, and proceed to beat up responding officers. Have fun in jail, dumbasses   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass, Canobie Lake Park, police officers, U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Huy Fong Foods, amusement parks, Interscope, So Happy  
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10992 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 7:59 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-18 08:39:43 AM  
24 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-06-18 08:08:38 AM  
9 votes:
Sorry, no knives allowed. The moose out front shoulda told you.
2014-06-18 08:36:28 AM  
6 votes:
l.yimg.comView Full Size

Normally an IQ of 160 is genius-level.  But in this case, it is the sum total for the whole family.
2014-06-18 07:47:27 AM  
6 votes:
l.yimg.comView Full Size

img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-06-18 07:29:46 AM  
6 votes:
And not one person had the acuity to say, "Have a knife day"?  That's the real travesty here.
2014-06-18 08:09:55 AM  
5 votes:

dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Full disclosure:  I carry this model of knife with me everywhere I go:

[ image 800x600]

The only exception is when I have to go to family court or the Department of Social Services*, in which case I leave it in the car because you have to go through a metal detector.

That means I carry it to local amusement parks.  Into malls.  At my work.  In my son's school.  Everywhere.  It just sits in my pocket.  And everyone knows it, because if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

And on the rare occasions when I think that I might need a bigger knife, I carry one.  But I'm reasonably discrete about it.   The only time I'm not discrete about it is when I'm dress up for the primitive biathlons, but few people are willing to challenge a guy with a Mohawk, feathers and beads in his hair, and a knife with a deer-antler handle on his belt.  But then, I don't got to amusement parks or the mall dressed like that (but do go to restaurants and some stores).

*The distaffbopper and I are foster parents.

Why does the eye scraper say "can opener" on it?  Don't tell me how to use my knife.
2014-06-18 08:00:51 AM  
4 votes:

Sybarite: [ image 850x255]

That is the worst case of Hereditary Trailer Park Face I've seen in a while.
2014-06-18 11:04:12 AM  
3 votes:
No knives allowed?
remindmagazine.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 09:26:09 AM  
3 votes:


I wonder how they vote

With deeply furrowed brows and expressions of confusion as they try to grasp the intricacies of the voting machine.
2014-06-18 09:13:04 AM  
3 votes:
I know eugenics isn't the way to go, but can we stop feeding people lead and polychlorinated biphenyls  then forcing them to copulate? We're going to run out of banjos if this shiat keeps up.
2014-06-18 08:47:04 AM  
3 votes:

fireclown: Marylands knife carry rules seem to vary widely, and I have a creeping hunch that LEOs have no effing clue what they are.  The rule seems to be pretty much "don't look like a dangerous tard and it won't come up".  Which I dislike, since I like all laws to cover all people equally.

Nobody outside of an airport has ever questioned my leatherman though.  It's the wood-stocked semi auto of the knife world.

That's because everyone has one and they know it's a tool, and what a tool you'd look like if you tried to shank somebody with it.  By the time you found the right blade, they would be long gone/have released the bengal tiger.
2014-06-18 09:45:41 AM  
2 votes:
Nomad, sterilzations needed in aisle 5. Nomad, aisle 5.

startrek.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 09:44:17 AM  
2 votes:

dittybopper: Galloping Galoshes: Obviously they forgot that an amusement park is private property, not a government agency, and that "my land, my rules" applies there.

/In fact, if the park had phrased it that way, the family might have understood and not acted like fools.

Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm a big Second Amendment guy*, and I hate to have to say this, but not everyone on my side of the argument completely understands that the Bill of Rights is a limitation on government, not private individuals or corporations.  Now, "Public Accommodations" are somewhat limited in what they can and can't do (like discriminate based on race), but they can certainly require that you not carry weapons as a condition of entry.  Hell, they could require everyone to wear a silly hat if they wanted to.

*And First, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, etc. Amendment guy.

s.mlkshk.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 09:10:22 AM  
2 votes:

doglover: MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.

That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[ image 400x262]

[ image 850x386]

playingwithsuperpower.comView Full Size

2014-06-18 08:55:03 AM  
2 votes:

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.

Swamp Yankees.
2014-06-18 08:47:15 AM  
2 votes:
Is the woman the mother of the boys, or the sister?  Or both?
2014-06-18 08:35:14 AM  
2 votes:
Ignorant, dumbass, inbred, white-trash Southerners...
2014-06-18 08:24:41 AM  
2 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 08:08:57 AM  
2 votes:

dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.
2014-06-18 08:03:37 AM  
2 votes:
I wonder how they vote
2014-06-18 11:31:29 AM  
1 vote:

chuggernaught: I don't carry a knife or a gun.  I just use my hands.

agoldensky.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 11:20:07 AM  
1 vote:

offacue: Famishus: Might accidentally drop in to Smoky Mountain Knife Works while I'm there.

If you have anything you need sharpened, bring it with you.  Downstairs in the back, $1.00 per knife.

Cool. I'll bring this one:

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 11:19:42 AM  
1 vote:

Rawhead Rex: I LOVE KNIVES...
Am currently wearing 3 right now as I sit in my office typing this crap.

You freak. Oh wait, did you say three knives? My apologies. I thought you were carrying four knives in the office and that would make you a weirdo, but it's perfectly normal to carry three knives on you. Doesn't everyone bring 2-3 knives to the office everyday?
2014-06-18 11:15:06 AM  
1 vote:

hogger: No knives allowed?
[ image 400x264]

Had to wait nearly 3 pages for this!   Plus everyone knows you don't start a fight, you just go buy a gun!

imfdb.orgView Full Size
2014-06-18 10:44:23 AM  
1 vote:

wildlifer: I carry a knife everywhere. a Kershaw clash. it is a tool, and COULD be used as a defensive weapon if the need arises. a Pencil is a tool, and could be used as a weapon to..

sex, sex as a weapon.

seventiesmusic.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 10:22:15 AM  
1 vote:

HotWingConspiracy: I wonder how they vote

First they sign the registry with an X then they have a poll worker read the names on the ballot out loud for them to choose from.
2014-06-18 09:52:30 AM  
1 vote:
dontevenreply.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 09:39:20 AM  
1 vote:

offacue: John Buck 41: Would love to get a William Henry or Chris Reeve someday. I go back and forth between fixed and folder. Currrent EDC is a Benchmade 510.

I've got a griptillian in steady rotation.  Smooth to flip open.  A little bulky though.  Can't wear a fixed here in Jersey.

/waiting for a flashlight thread

I always keep my fleshlight clipped to by belt.

You never know when you'll be left sitting in the dark with nothing to do.
2014-06-18 09:11:05 AM  
1 vote:
This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.
2014-06-18 09:08:11 AM  
1 vote:

dittybopper: if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

i1.ytimg.comView Full Size

2014-06-18 09:04:35 AM  
1 vote:

offacue: Galloping Galoshes: You generally won't walk into an amusement park and get much trouble because you have your butterfly collection on your belt.

Uh, I certainly could.....    Butterfly

Although I only have one, not a collection......

Butterfly knives are like training bras for people who want to cut their own fingers off like a yakuza.
2014-06-18 09:04:19 AM  
1 vote:

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.

Don't forget Massachusetts. 128 is like a moat around civilization. A leaky moat, but at least it's something.
2014-06-18 08:50:41 AM  
1 vote:
2014-06-18 08:44:14 AM  
1 vote:

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.

That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[ image 400x262]

fc03.deviantart.netView Full Size
2014-06-18 08:37:06 AM  
1 vote:
Congress should never have made the rule banning knives from the amusement park.  That's a clear 2nd Amendment violation.
2014-06-18 08:36:29 AM  
1 vote:
It could not immediately be determined if they had lawyers.
2014-06-18 08:35:46 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.

That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 08:26:37 AM  
1 vote:

Mr. Parker: "What's with the knife? Are we having cake?"

He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese?
2014-06-18 08:17:08 AM  
1 vote:
"What's with the knife? Are we having cake?"
2014-06-18 08:08:43 AM  
1 vote:
Wtf do you need a knife for at a theme park? reminds me of the ash holes that bring an Ar-15 to a Dairy Queen because "2nd Amendment!!!!!! Bush!!! Merica!!"
2014-06-18 08:02:39 AM  
1 vote:
Close-set eyes. Pronounced supraorbital ridge. Slackness in the jaw. Flat ears.

These "people" never had a chance.
2014-06-18 02:49:17 AM  
1 vote:
reneedezvous.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-06-18 01:12:14 AM  
1 vote:
Something tells me they are not new to the criminal justice system.
2014-06-18 01:01:03 AM  
1 vote:
"I know mah rights!"- Steve

Also: As backup officers arrived, the mother of the family faked a seizure, police said.

I would have laughed at the whole incident, but I would've pissed myself seeing that.
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