Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Post)   Guards at amusement park tell family that they cannot bring their knives into the park. Father and his four kids decide the rules don't apply to them, and proceed to beat up responding officers. Have fun in jail, dumbasses   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 225
    More: Dumbass, Canobie Lake Park, police officers, U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Huy Fong Foods, amusement parks, Interscope, So Happy  
•       •       •

10836 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 7:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



225 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-06-18 10:41:58 AM  
I should start carrying this; it's totally legal in Georgia now (they changed the state law to allow any knife with a blade less than five inches to be carried without a permit, and no local laws can apply).

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-18 10:44:23 AM  

wildlifer: I carry a knife everywhere. a Kershaw clash. it is a tool, and COULD be used as a defensive weapon if the need arises. a Pencil is a tool, and could be used as a weapon to..


sex, sex as a weapon.

seventiesmusic.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-18 10:44:57 AM  
As backup officers arrived, the mother of the family faked a seizure, police said. She was examined by paramedics and released at the scene.

So . . . not their first public fight.
 
2014-06-18 10:45:19 AM  
I usually have my leatherman on me either in my pocket or my bag. I've lost count how many times I have used it at work. The only issue I've ever had was when I had it on my belt and one of our clients thought I had a gun. She almost called the police on me, she was a tad paranoid and I avoided her at all costs, but one of the nice african american gentlemen I worked with just loved farking with her racist paranoid ass any chance he got.
 
2014-06-18 10:46:00 AM  

escherblacksmith: No.  2.5in does not a chef's knife make.


Correct.
It does make a baitching paring knife in a pinch.
I can use it for steaks, too.
Mostly, I use it for apples and lemons at work.
 
2014-06-18 10:50:17 AM  

offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)


$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?
 
2014-06-18 10:53:19 AM  
I have a CRKT folding knife that I carry in my purse. I actually have to leave reminders to myself to take it out if I'm going on a plane trip somewhere, because I never take it out otherwise. I also have a Gerber fixed blade knife that I carry when I'm hiking/camping. My boyfriend got me that one for my birthday because he knows I like knives.
 
2014-06-18 10:54:40 AM  

Famishus: Might accidentally drop in to Smoky Mountain Knife Works while I'm there.


If you have anything you need sharpened, bring it with you.  Downstairs in the back, $1.00 per knife.
 
2014-06-18 10:55:49 AM  
YAY Knife thread!!

My fixed blade preference:
c2.staticflickr.com
Becker BK2 with Scandi grind

My neck and everyday carry:
ecx.images-amazon.com
Becker Necker


I don't carry a "folding knife" because I carry one of these:
images.knifecenter.com
Victorinox Swiss Army Tool
 
2014-06-18 10:57:21 AM  
I'm a sovereign citizen!!! I don't have to foller your rulez!!!
 
2014-06-18 10:59:24 AM  

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-18 10:59:40 AM  

dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Full disclosure:  I carry this model of knife with me everywhere I go:



The only exception is when I have to go to family court or the Department of Social Services*, in which case I leave it in the car because you have to go through a metal detector.

That means I carry it to local amusement parks.  Into malls.  At my work.  In my son's school.  Everywhere.  It just sits in my pocket.  And everyone knows it, because if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

And on the rare occasions when I think that I might need a bigger knife, I carry one.  But I'm reasonably discrete about it.   The only time I'm not discrete about it is when I'm dress up for the primitive biathlons, but few people are willing to challenge a guy with a Mohawk, feathers and beads in his hair, and a knife with a deer-antler handle on his belt.  But then, I don't got to amusement parks or the mall dressed like that (but do go to restaurants and some stores).

*The distaffbopper and I are foster parents.


Wow, that knife was my favorite tool to carry when I was in the Navy. Are they still around? Forgot all about it.
 
2014-06-18 11:02:59 AM  

MyToeHurts: dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Full disclosure:  I carry this model of knife with me everywhere I go:

The only exception is when I have to go to family court or the Department of Social Services*, in which case I leave it in the car because you have to go through a metal detector.

That means I carry it to local amusement parks.  Into malls.  At my work.  In my son's school.  Everywhere.  It just sits in my pocket.  And everyone knows it, because if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

And on the rare occasions when I think that I might need a bigger knife, I carry one.  But I'm reasonably discrete about it.   The only time I'm not discrete about it is when I'm dress up for the primitive biathlons, but few people are willing to challenge a guy with a Mohawk, feathers and beads in his hair, and a knife with a deer-antler handle on his belt.  But then, I don't got to amusement parks or the mall dressed like that (but do go to restaurants and some stores).

*The distaffbopper and I are foster parents.

Wow, that knife was my favorite tool to carry when I was in the Navy. Are they still around? Forgot all about it.


I know I see them all the time at the Bill Goodman's Gun and Knife shows... I've never seen them in the surplus stores though...

I'd take a look at your gun shows and any surplus or "junk" stores in the flea markets... Those older guys that buy and sell older army stuff in the flea markets might be a good place to look...
 
2014-06-18 11:04:12 AM  
No knives allowed?
remindmagazine.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-18 11:09:59 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Prey4reign: This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.

There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who isn't rich.  But we remind them of their dad or brother, we're financially responsible, so we don't have motorcycles, boats and expensive toys, so of course they want nothing to do with us.

/But, I'm not bitter!
//Much.


Protip: If you have to tell people you're a nice guy, you're not a nice guy.

*psst...I think you dropped your fedora*
 
2014-06-18 11:12:08 AM  

bikerbob59: macadamnut: Some people really like jail.

Spent four days in jail once (don't ask).   Lost five pounds, not one phone call or text message.   I gotta tell ya, it was quite peaceful.


I've done a couple of months in a county jail, and I've done four years in a catholic prep school. Jail was far superior; but I have carefully avoided return visits to either place, thanks very much.

/would not have done well in big boy jail though
 
2014-06-18 11:12:16 AM  

squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?


LIke I said before.....Some people like nice pens, some people like nice cars or boats, some people like nice clothes, etc.  If you don't get it, you don't get it.
 
2014-06-18 11:15:06 AM  

hogger: No knives allowed?
[remindmagazine.files.wordpress.com image 400x264]


Had to wait nearly 3 pages for this!   Plus everyone knows you don't start a fight, you just go buy a gun!

www.imfdb.org
 
2014-06-18 11:16:36 AM  
So sad there's no video of the fake seizure.   I could see LOTS of animated-GIF potential...
 
2014-06-18 11:16:57 AM  

squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?


It's not about the first cut hombre, it's how it makes the 300th cut that makes it worth the price...

Every sharp knife will cut once... It's what happens after that counts... not all steels are created equal, not all knifemakers can take quality steel and work it into a product that will last thousands of cuts with minimal sharpening...
 
2014-06-18 11:19:42 AM  

Rawhead Rex: I LOVE KNIVES...
Am currently wearing 3 right now as I sit in my office typing this crap.



You freak. Oh wait, did you say three knives? My apologies. I thought you were carrying four knives in the office and that would make you a weirdo, but it's perfectly normal to carry three knives on you. Doesn't everyone bring 2-3 knives to the office everyday?
 
2014-06-18 11:20:07 AM  

offacue: Famishus: Might accidentally drop in to Smoky Mountain Knife Works while I'm there.

If you have anything you need sharpened, bring it with you.  Downstairs in the back, $1.00 per knife.


Cool. I'll bring this one:

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-18 11:27:52 AM  

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: Rawhead Rex: I LOVE KNIVES...
Am currently wearing 3 right now as I sit in my office typing this crap.


You freak. Oh wait, did you say three knives? My apologies. I thought you were carrying four knives in the office and that would make you a weirdo, but it's perfectly normal to carry three knives on you. Doesn't everyone bring 2-3 knives to the office everyday?


I'm wearing 2 right now... 3 isn't inconceivable...
 
2014-06-18 11:29:08 AM  

offacue: squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?

LIke I said before.....Some people like nice pens, some people like nice cars or boats, some people like nice clothes, etc.  If you don't get it, you don't get it.


Hear, hear. Everyone has things that they like that make other people go "WTF why would you spend that much money on that?" But, it's their money and they can do what they want.
 
2014-06-18 11:31:29 AM  

chuggernaught: I don't carry a knife or a gun.  I just use my hands.


agoldensky.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-18 11:33:13 AM  

CraicBaby: Ker_Thwap: Prey4reign: This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.

There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who isn't rich.  But we remind them of their dad or brother, we're financially responsible, so we don't have motorcycles, boats and expensive toys, so of course they want nothing to do with us.

/But, I'm not bitter!
//Much.

Protip: If you have to tell people you're a nice guy, you're not a nice guy.

*psst...I think you dropped your fedora*


Apparently, I have to spell it out for you.  The woman who believes there are only two kinds of men in NH is an idiot.  There are many perfectly normal people in NH, (and elsewhere) in perfectly happy relationships, because they found someone nice, rather than someone who has game, is rich, is good good looking or whatever random attribute this woman values.
 
2014-06-18 11:34:32 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.


Some of us might think that a pocket knife is simple tool, I like dittybopper go no where with out a pocket knife. And can be quite handy to have lots of reasons that have nothing to do with injuring or killing another human.
www.vicfan.com
/but then I know who the tool is in this thread
 
2014-06-18 11:35:01 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Close-set eyes. Pronounced supraorbital ridge. Slackness in the jaw. Flat ears.

These "people" never had a chance.


Nice to see that pseudo science discredited a century ago still has its fan boys.
 
2014-06-18 11:36:34 AM  
I've spent some time in New Hampshire (a lot less time in VT or Maine), more than I ever wanted to, and I'm not surprised by the actions of this family, nor am I surprised by the vacant look on everyones mug shot picture.

I'm sure the cities might be fine, but I've been out there were you have a lot of dirt roads. And you'll meet people, scary people, people who are just 1 missed state assistance check away from skinning you and packing away your body for Thanksgiving dinner.
 
2014-06-18 11:37:21 AM  

squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?


Well... I do agree to an extent, as some things are just way over the top.. like Monster cables and such.. but at some level, it's a question of quality.

I got some kitchen knives that are worth a good deal, but I also plan to have them all my life, then probably the next several generations as they are made as close to indestructible as a knife can be.

For outside work, I have a carbon steel knife that was over 100$, but again... this knife could last forever and can probably cut through other knives.

Sure you can get decent quality under 100$, but only to an extent, you have to be very picky and lucky to get something of high end quality.

Just like headphones and such, there's a few levels that you check for..

1) cheap.. won't last, not very good overall.
2) mid-range, probably won't last a long time, somewhat decent.
3) good quality, should last for a while, decent to quite nice.
4) very good quality, should last a long time, nice to very nice.
5) excellent quality, should last close to forever, very nice, can be somewhat expensive, but deals can be found fairly regularly.
6) over the top, expensive like hell, and quality wise could be no better than mid-range, pricing is mostly due to brand/name.
 
2014-06-18 11:38:03 AM  

doglover: [www.fototime.com image 640x480]


I like that one, is it yours?
 
2014-06-18 11:41:10 AM  
My daily one is one of these.

i478.photobucket.com

Uses it almost everyday.. very compact, unbelievably handy, the flashlight and the pliers gets a LOT of use.
 
2014-06-18 11:49:48 AM  

imfallen_angel: squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?

Well... I do agree to an extent, as some things are just way over the top.. like Monster cables and such.. but at some level, it's a question of quality.

I got some kitchen knives that are worth a good deal, but I also plan to have them all my life, then probably the next several generations as they are made as close to indestructible as a knife can be.

For outside work, I have a carbon steel knife that was over 100$, but again... this knife could last forever and can probably cut through other knives.

Sure you can get decent quality under 100$, but only to an extent, you have to be very picky and lucky to get something of high end quality.

Just like headphones and such, there's a few levels that you check for..

1) cheap.. won't last, not very good overall.
2) mid-range, probably won't last a long time, somewhat decent.
3) good quality, should last for a while, decent to quite nice.
4) very good quality, should last a long time, nice to very nice.
5) excellent quality, should last close to forever, very nice, can be somewhat expensive, but deals can be found fairly regularly.
6) over the top, expensive like hell, and quality wise could be no better than mid-range, pricing is mostly due to brand/name.


Don't be afraid to spend too much for a good quality knife, either. You don't want to worry that your knife is going to fail in an emergency.
 
2014-06-18 11:59:05 AM  

mark1mod0: I've spent some time in New Hampshire (a lot less time in VT or Maine), more than I ever wanted to, and I'm not surprised by the actions of this family, nor am I surprised by the vacant look on everyones mug shot picture.

I'm sure the cities might be fine, but I've been out there were you have a lot of dirt roads. And you'll meet people, scary people, people who are just 1 missed state assistance check away from skinning you and packing away your body for Thanksgiving dinner.


Who says they have to be missing any state assistance checks to do that?  There ARE some seriously scary backwoods critters walking upright here.  There was a town that was so bad, not even the state police would go there, either Greenville or Greenfield.  If somebody was murdered there, as long as it was local, nothing was done about it.  They took care of their own bee's wax there.  That's how it was in the '70s and '80s, anyway.  With the every increasing price and demand for developable land, it is possible that even they cashed out and started their own reality TV shows.
 
2014-06-18 12:06:54 PM  
Salem is Almost Massachusetts.   Its got a state liquor store, giant malls, and traffic.  All sales tax free.
 
2014-06-18 12:09:33 PM  
Ambivalence

Something tells me they are not new to the criminal justice system.

That sums it all up right there. I figure any neighbors they have are right pleased to live within shouting distance of them.

Seen this before. A family which just hates being told what to do by any form of authority and gets all obnoxious about it. White trash.
 
2014-06-18 12:10:04 PM  

danno_to_infinity: Who says they have to be missing any state assistance checks to do that?


when have you ever met any anti-federalist tea partying sovereign citizen that -wasn't- on public assistance?
/entitlements are bad. 'cept for ours.
 
2014-06-18 12:10:29 PM  

catmandu: ow in Yoopers and I will agree with you.


I think that depends on the Yooper.
/live in Marquette
 
2014-06-18 12:14:07 PM  

Ker_Thwap: CraicBaby: Ker_Thwap: Prey4reign: This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.

There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who isn't rich.  But we remind them of their dad or brother, we're financially responsible, so we don't have motorcycles, boats and expensive toys, so of course they want nothing to do with us.

/But, I'm not bitter!
//Much.

Protip: If you have to tell people you're a nice guy, you're not a nice guy.

*psst...I think you dropped your fedora*

Apparently, I have to spell it out for you.  The woman who believes there are only two kinds of men in NH is an idiot.  There are many perfectly normal people in NH, (and elsewhere) in perfectly happy relationships, because they found someone nice, rather than someone who has game, is rich, is good good looking or whatever random attribute this woman values.


I've met women like that before.  They live a drama queen life, everything is a crisis, it is always somebody else's fault that their life is such a mess.  Men are constantly leaving them after an incredibly hot, heavy, sex-filled early relationship.  Or they stay but settle down into a dull unappreciative predictable b-o-r-i-n-g  and surprise, surprise...stable domestic situation.  Nobody has game forever, it always ends.  Then they have to start a new game if they want to still be a player.  Thus drama queen sustains her self-fulfilling prophecy.

/It's her, not the men
//well, mostly her.  yes, there is no shortage of idiot men to maintain her drama queen status.
///it boils down to being as happy as you make your mind up to be, and not expecting it to be made up by somebody else.

And on one last note, I hope that they charge that idiot mother for the full cost of the EMS crew for her fake seizure.  Pile it on, fark that stupid biatch.
 
2014-06-18 12:15:03 PM  

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.


Northern Maine too.

I'm pretty sure cousin, sister and wife are synonymous in some of those parts.
 
2014-06-18 12:16:41 PM  

CeroX: squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?

It's not about the first cut hombre, it's how it makes the 300th cut that makes it worth the price...

Every sharp knife will cut once... It's what happens after that counts... not all steels are created equal, not all knifemakers can take quality steel and work it into a product that will last thousands of cuts with minimal sharpening...


From the (overwhelmingly glowing, I must admit) reviews of Sypderco products, it looks like it's Taiwanese Steel.  Shmeh.  Nothing special there.  If you wanna justify a 400 dollar, 3.5" blade you're gonna have to bust some really special steel out.  You'd think they'd talk about that in their description.  But frankly, their descriptions read like Bose speakers.

"Dynamic, 3-Dimensional Sound!  Immersive Auditory Experience!  Unparalleled performance."

It might be a great knife (probably is), but when I can go out and buy a Gerber Folder that will last for years of abuse for about $30, I cannot *imagine* what I'd expect out of a 400 dollar Folder.
 
2014-06-18 12:20:47 PM  
ITT: (microdicked)GUN NUTS turn out to be KNIFE NUTS as well.

What a surprise.
 
2014-06-18 12:24:49 PM  

BeesNuts: CeroX: squirrelflavoredyogurt: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

$200 for a piece of sharp steel? Guess she paid extra for the cool description..."When the detent is overcome, the blade rotates on a special captive ball-bearing pivot system and snaps authoritatively into the open position." What the hell are you going to cut with that thing that makes it worth even the discounted price?

It's not about the first cut hombre, it's how it makes the 300th cut that makes it worth the price...

Every sharp knife will cut once... It's what happens after that counts... not all steels are created equal, not all knifemakers can take quality steel and work it into a product that will last thousands of cuts with minimal sharpening...

From the (overwhelmingly glowing, I must admit) reviews of Sypderco products, it looks like it's Taiwanese Steel.  Shmeh.  Nothing special there.  If you wanna justify a 400 dollar, 3.5" blade you're gonna have to bust some really special steel out.  You'd think they'd talk about that in their description.  But frankly, their descriptions read like Bose speakers.

"Dynamic, 3-Dimensional Sound!  Immersive Auditory Experience!  Unparalleled performance."

It might be a great knife (probably is), but when I can go out and buy a Gerber Folder that will last for years of abuse for about $30, I cannot *imagine* what I'd expect out of a 400 dollar Folder.


Gerber USED to be a good brand... most of it is made in China now... that being said, Ka-Bar has outsourced a lot of their knives to Taiwan because Taiwan was the only country that met Ka-Bar's forging and manufacturing standards. Not all Asian countries make poor products or cut corners...
 
2014-06-18 12:31:35 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Apparently, I have to spell it out for you.  The woman who believes there are only two kinds of men in NH is an idiot.  There are many perfectly normal people in NH, (and elsewhere) in perfectly happy relationships, because they found someone nice, rather than someone who... is rich


there, FTFY.  and yes, the woman is a golddigger.
 
2014-06-18 12:31:47 PM  
That's what I call a Family that Sticks together.

/happened in my home town.
 
2014-06-18 12:34:24 PM  
WtF is with this story's tags?

U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Huy Fong Foods, Interscope, So Happy
 
2014-06-18 12:35:53 PM  

hogans: Salem is not a place you want to dick around.  I've never seen a town with a bigger police presence; the cruisers circle the town like sharks, looking for every opportunity to pull over and ticket everyone and everything in sight.


Also the vampires.

/wrong Salem?
//they all look alike to me.
 
2014-06-18 12:48:16 PM  
Yay Knife thread!  I used to collect more of the novelty knives than the functioning ones, but still have my fair share of good knives.  Thanks to this thread though my wishlist is growing exponentially.

However, it is time for a "You're not helping!"/"Part of the problem" story!

My senior year of HS I worked at a grocery store as a stocker so always needed to carry a knife.  I would get in the habit of checking my pocket for a knife, and upon not finding one grab one off my desk.  At the end of the work day, however, the knife would usually end up in my coat pocket as I left to do something social not requiring a knife!  One chilly morning I threw on my jacket and went to school... anyone see where this is going?  When someone saw me pull out a knife and quickly put it away a school official was informed and I was called into the office and asked to empty my pockets... 7 knives later I had a hell of a time explaining myself.  The judge was very understanding though and only gave me a fine while the school just mailed me my diploma (had enough credits to graduate) and asked me to never return.  Good times!

/Couple teachers I saw later found the whole thing very funny.
//My sister, six years younger, didn't have a good time dealing with teachers that didn't like me much.
///Laugh and ridicule at your leisure, 12 years later I still deserve it.
//i e s!!
 
2014-06-18 12:51:09 PM  
While there's a lot of crazy in Vermont, when I read the article in this morning paper (I'm just 3 mi from Salem, and about 6 from CLP), I completely expected that the family would hail from Seabrook.

Seabrook (the part of town that isn't on the beach) - at least when I was a kid - had it's own "special" status of being the closest place where one could experience the inbreeding of Appalachia without having to travel that far.
 
2014-06-18 01:03:41 PM  

GoldDude: [l.yimg.com image 850x255]
Normally an IQ of 160 is genius-level.  But in this case, it is the sum total for the whole family.


Quite the optimist ain't ya.
 
Displayed 50 of 225 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report