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(Washington Post)   Guards at amusement park tell family that they cannot bring their knives into the park. Father and his four kids decide the rules don't apply to them, and proceed to beat up responding officers. Have fun in jail, dumbasses   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Canobie Lake Park, police officers, U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Huy Fong Foods, amusement parks, Interscope, So Happy  
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10982 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 7:59 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



225 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-06-18 09:17:22 AM  

Tyrosine: All three were held on $10,000 cash bail, assigned a public defender and scheduled to return to court on June 25.

Why am i not surprised that these three pinnacles of human perfection cannot afford their own lawyers.


And $10k is probably two years income for the whole bunch of them.
 
2014-06-18 09:17:48 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: it shouldn't have been a big deal to leave them in the car.


Period, end of story.  The rest was just an IQ test.
 
2014-06-18 09:19:44 AM  
I was willing to allow that they were, perhaps, not a trash family, but then I got to the line where it said the mother faked a seizure in the parking lot.  Last chance lost.

Trash family!  Throw them away!
 
2014-06-18 09:19:47 AM  

monoski: Tyrosine: All three were held on $10,000 cash bail, assigned a public defender and scheduled to return to court on June 25.

Why am i not surprised that these three pinnacles of human perfection cannot afford their own lawyers.

And $10k is probably two years income for the whole bunch of them.


Be careful, there was a time when you couldn't afford a lawyer either.  Poverty is not an indicator of low intelligence.  (Getting into a fight with security guards because you were too dumb to leave your knives in the car is, however.)
 
2014-06-18 09:20:55 AM  

offacue: Galloping Galoshes: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

Even at half that much, really?  That seems like a lot of dough for a knife.  Unless it's more jewelry than tool.

Meh, you can say that about pretty much anything when you get to the higher end of stuff.  Cars, guns, turntables, pens. etc  A knife like this has a feel, a smoothness to the action, a balance that you don't get in the cheaper stuff, and I've got a few dozen knives.   I like to dream around this site.  There are many.


Would love to get a William Henry or Chris Reeve someday. I go back and forth between fixed and folder. Currrent EDC is a Benchmade 510.
 
2014-06-18 09:22:52 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: BeesNuts: it's imminently useful

That it is imminently useful could be eminemtly useful.


www.spin.com
 
2014-06-18 09:26:09 AM  

HotWingConspiracy


I wonder how they vote


With deeply furrowed brows and expressions of confusion as they try to grasp the intricacies of the voting machine.
 
2014-06-18 09:26:56 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: fireclown: Marylands knife carry rules seem to vary widely, and I have a creeping hunch that LEOs have no effing clue what they are.  The rule seems to be pretty much "don't look like a dangerous tard and it won't come up".  Which I dislike, since I like all laws to cover all people equally.

Nobody outside of an airport has ever questioned my leatherman though.  It's the wood-stocked semi auto of the knife world.

That's because everyone has one and they know it's a tool, and what a tool you'd look like if you tried to shank somebody with it.  By the time you found the right blade, they would be long gone/have released the bengal tiger.


untrue!  My beloved leatherman wave has a one hand opening main blade that opens from the outside.
 
2014-06-18 09:27:06 AM  

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.


Throw in Yoopers and I will agree with you.
 
2014-06-18 09:28:48 AM  

Prey4reign: This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.


There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who isn't rich.  But we remind them of their dad or brother, we're financially responsible, so we don't have motorcycles, boats and expensive toys, so of course they want nothing to do with us.

/But, I'm not bitter!
//Much.
 
2014-06-18 09:30:32 AM  
Salem is not a place you want to dick around.  I've never seen a town with a bigger police presence; the cruisers circle the town like sharks, looking for every opportunity to pull over and ticket everyone and everything in sight.
 
2014-06-18 09:31:20 AM  
How can you go for a cops gun and still be alive?
 
2014-06-18 09:31:54 AM  
Did they all sing 'Why Does This Always Happen To Me?' while sitting in the jail cell?

the aristocrats
 
2014-06-18 09:35:09 AM  

John Buck 41: Would love to get a William Henry or Chris Reeve someday. I go back and forth between fixed and folder. Currrent EDC is a Benchmade 510.


I've got a griptillian in steady rotation.  Smooth to flip open.  A little bulky though.  Can't wear a fixed here in Jersey.

/waiting for a flashlight thread
 
2014-06-18 09:35:43 AM  

911Jenny: Misconduc: Wtf do you need a knife for at a theme park? reminds me of the ash holes that bring an Ar-15 to a Dairy Queen because "2nd Amendment!!!!!! Bush!!! Merica!!"

I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.

It's a small pink handled Buck knife. The only time I brought something bigger with me was when a convicted murderer escaped a transport vehicle by my house. I start work at 10 pm and brought the Ka-Bar my brother got me for Christmas.

I then brought that into the police station but I work there so it was ok.

But had I been asked (at any place) to leave it in my car I would oblige.


well aren't you special, with your size 22 ass
 
2014-06-18 09:36:23 AM  

for good or for awesome: How can you go for a cops gun and still be alive?


Like I said, I expected more tasing in this story.

/or shooting
 
2014-06-18 09:36:55 AM  

macadamnut: Some people really like jail.


Spent four days in jail once (don't ask).   Lost five pounds, not one phone call or text message.   I gotta tell ya, it was quite peaceful.
 
2014-06-18 09:37:13 AM  
2nd amendment rights!
 
2014-06-18 09:38:29 AM  

Mad Scientist: for good or for awesome: How can you go for a cops gun and still be alive?

Like I said, I expected more tasing in this story.

/or shooting


That would have been typical, bringing a knife to a gunfight.
 
2014-06-18 09:39:20 AM  

offacue: John Buck 41: Would love to get a William Henry or Chris Reeve someday. I go back and forth between fixed and folder. Currrent EDC is a Benchmade 510.

I've got a griptillian in steady rotation.  Smooth to flip open.  A little bulky though.  Can't wear a fixed here in Jersey.

/waiting for a flashlight thread


I always keep my fleshlight clipped to by belt.

You never know when you'll be left sitting in the dark with nothing to do.
 
2014-06-18 09:39:39 AM  

doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


Did you feel your knife move?
 
2014-06-18 09:44:02 AM  

GBB: MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]

Someone knows how to play Knifey-Spoony


Mad Scientist: MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]

I see you've played knifey-spoony before.


Beat me to it.
 
2014-06-18 09:44:17 AM  

dittybopper: Galloping Galoshes: Obviously they forgot that an amusement park is private property, not a government agency, and that "my land, my rules" applies there.

/In fact, if the park had phrased it that way, the family might have understood and not acted like fools.

Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm a big Second Amendment guy*, and I hate to have to say this, but not everyone on my side of the argument completely understands that the Bill of Rights is a limitation on government, not private individuals or corporations.  Now, "Public Accommodations" are somewhat limited in what they can and can't do (like discriminate based on race), but they can certainly require that you not carry weapons as a condition of entry.  Hell, they could require everyone to wear a silly hat if they wanted to.

*And First, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, etc. Amendment guy.


s.mlkshk.com
 
2014-06-18 09:44:55 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: 911Jenny: I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.

Was going to the Morris County, NJ municipal building to the engineer's office once to pick up a check.  Didn't think/realize that the court house was part of the same building, had my pocket knife (swiss army!) on me.  Cops were really pissed off over that.   Thing is, didn't try to walk through security, conceal it, or anything like that.  At the metal detector I emptied my pockets, told the first officer that I didn't realize that it was a court house and asked if I could leave it with them and pick up on my way out and the dudes were STILL all pissed off about it.


I did that in 01 in the Union County courthouse. I had to go to the title office to get a transfer done. Didn't realize it was part of the courthouse. Was carrying my Gerber multi-tool on my side and had to go through the metal detector. One cop was super pissed, the other was just like "I get it. Its farm country. Pick it up on your way out."
 
2014-06-18 09:45:41 AM  
Nomad, sterilzations needed in aisle 5. Nomad, aisle 5.


www.startrek.com
 
2014-06-18 09:47:24 AM  

911Jenny: Misconduc: Wtf do you need a knife for at a theme park? reminds me of the ash holes that bring an Ar-15 to a Dairy Queen because "2nd Amendment!!!!!! Bush!!! Merica!!"

I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.

It's a small pink handled Buck knife. The only time I brought something bigger with me was when a convicted murderer escaped a transport vehicle by my house. I start work at 10 pm and brought the Ka-Bar my brother got me for Christmas.

I then brought that into the police station but I work there so it was ok.

But had I been asked (at any place) to leave it in my car I would oblige.


I'm gonna need to examine this supposed knife IN the bra. Just to make sure its concealed properly.
 
2014-06-18 09:51:58 AM  
I used to have a pen knife on my keychain until Securitards at Six Flags confiscated it.  (Pro Tip-They really don't like keys, either.)

Of course, I don't go there anymore.
 
2014-06-18 09:52:30 AM  
www.dontevenreply.com
 
2014-06-18 09:54:46 AM  

Ker_Thwap: There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who

has no game to woo women.

/FTFY
// ;)
 
2014-06-18 09:57:33 AM  
I used to carry my Leatherman Wave with me everywhere I went - it's handy as hell. But, between airports, cops, and morons, the idea of having my personal property arbitrarily seized for no reason means that one of my favorite tools is "marooned" at home.
 
2014-06-18 09:57:43 AM  

bikerbob59: macadamnut: Some people really like jail.

Spent four days in jail once (don't ask).   Lost five pounds, not one phone call or text message.   I gotta tell ya, it was quite peaceful.


County?  Because Central Booking truly has nothing going for it.


/ 2/5 Stars, would try to find other accommodations, but the story telling can't be beat.
 
2014-06-18 10:00:02 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: 911Jenny: I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.

Was going to the Morris County, NJ municipal building to the engineer's office once to pick up a check.  Didn't think/realize that the court house was part of the same building, had my pocket knife (swiss army!) on me.  Cops were really pissed off over that.   Thing is, didn't try to walk through security, conceal it, or anything like that.  At the metal detector I emptied my pockets, told the first officer that I didn't realize that it was a court house and asked if I could leave it with them and pick up on my way out and the dudes were STILL all pissed off about it.


Similar csb: Reported for jury duty, went through the metal detector just fine because I'd left my EDC in the car, but the guard pulled me because I'd forgotten about the Victorinox Swiss Card in my wallet, and the wires showed up on the x-ray machine (it has a flashlight on it).Even after demonstrating that it wasn't an explosive device, they still made me take it back to the car because "we ain't never seen nothin' like that afore."

/csb
//slashes like a letter opener!
 
2014-06-18 10:00:46 AM  

freetomato: pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.

Swamp Yankees.


Indeed. It's not unique to any one state. You'll find them everywhere here in the north east.
 
2014-06-18 10:08:37 AM  
Yay!  Knife thread!

img.fark.net
My daily carry knife, a Gerber Hinderer.  Extra thick, blunt and rounded tip and blade intended for prying and extrication rather than cutting, serrated bottom 3/4 of the blade to cut through anything (except the patient), fold out seatbelt cutter and a glass breaker on the bottom.  And the icing on the cake, an oxygen wrench cutout on the other side of the handle.

img.fark.net
My camping knife, got it from thinkgeek.  It's decently sharp, has a firesteel that fits in the handle in a waterproof compartment, and a signal whistle.

img.fark.net
My "hiking through rough terrain" knife, a Ka-Bar Swabbie.  Yeah, yeah, I know, zombies, hurr-durr!  But c'mon, it's a mini farking scimitar made by Ka-Bar!  How farking cool is that?  And the bright green handles make it easy to spot at night with a flashlight if it gets dropped.
 
2014-06-18 10:09:26 AM  

vudukungfu: offacue: I like to dream around this site.  There are many.

This guy only makes 4 knives.
And I carry this one.

Know one ever knows I have it until I need to use it.

I give them to friends as gifts, too.


it is neat, but the description has a very stupid line about it being a great chef's knife.  No.  2.5in does not a chef's knife make.  I don't care how sharp it is.

That said, I may have to get one for my brother . . .

on a different note, the article gets points from me for using 'melee' and 'fracas'.  I would have given bonus points for 'brouhaha' or 'hullabaloo'.

and finally, my daily carry:

www.popsci.com

\\ okay. done.
 
2014-06-18 10:11:50 AM  

Another Government Employee: I used to have a pen knife on my keychain until Securitards at Six Flags confiscated it.  (Pro Tip-They really don't like keys, either.)

Of course, I don't go there anymore.


Thanks for the tip.  I'll have to take this off my keychain next time I go. Harbor Freight tools - a buck. Handy.

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 10:13:14 AM  
I carry a knife everywhere. a Kershaw clash. it is a tool, and COULD be used as a defensive weapon if the need arises. a Pencil is a tool, and could be used as a weapon to..
 
2014-06-18 10:16:44 AM  

dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Full disclosure:  I carry this model of knife with me everywhere I go:

[i98.photobucket.com image 800x600]

The only exception is when I have to go to family court or the Department of Social Services*, in which case I leave it in the car because you have to go through a metal detector.

That means I carry it to local amusement parks.  Into malls.  At my work.  In my son's school.  Everywhere.  It just sits in my pocket.  And everyone knows it, because if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

And on the rare occasions when I think that I might need a bigger knife, I carry one.  But I'm reasonably discrete about it.   The only time I'm not discrete about it is when I'm dress up for the primitive biathlons, but few people are willing to challenge a guy with a Mohawk, feathers and beads in his hair, and a knife with a deer-antler handle on his belt.  But then, I don't got to amusement parks or the mall dressed like that (but do go to restaurants and some stores).

*The distaffbopper and I are foster parents.


"You keep using that word..."
Discreet
 
2014-06-18 10:16:52 AM  

offacue: John Buck 41: Would love to get a William Henry or Chris Reeve someday. I go back and forth between fixed and folder. Currrent EDC is a Benchmade 510.

I've got a griptillian in steady rotation.  Smooth to flip open.  A little bulky though.  Can't wear a fixed here in Jersey.

/waiting for a flashlight thread


My kids gave me a solar/dynamo LED flashlight with a carabiner clip handle for Father's Day. It's not very bright (and kind of ugly), but I am ridiculously taken by it.

I want one of these:   http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001TS71NG/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encodin g =UTF8&colid=7B6HU1XH0QOU&coliid=I3W0870NA6XWNE
 
2014-06-18 10:21:34 AM  
I carried a pocket knife for forever.  I had two swiss army knives - one with just blade, can opener and bottle opener (and maybe reamer) and another with a few more.  I lost one and the second got confiscated from me at the airport when they started the new rules.  I think it's time to replace.  I'm thinking Huntsman II has the best combo of stuff I want without getting ridiculously big.  Anybody have recommendations?
 
2014-06-18 10:22:15 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I wonder how they vote


First they sign the registry with an X then they have a poll worker read the names on the ballot out loud for them to choose from.
 
2014-06-18 10:26:08 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: Obviously they forgot that an amusement park is private property, not a government agency, and that "my land, my rules" applies there.

/In fact, if the park had phrased it that way, the family might have understood and not acted like fools.


More likely, they would have started yelling "MY KNIFE!  MY RULES!".
 
2014-06-18 10:27:22 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I wonder how they vote


I wonder how they tie their shoes and feed themselves
 
2014-06-18 10:29:20 AM  

mekkab: Ker_Thwap: There's a third type. Just the average nice guy who has no game to woo women.

/FTFY
// ;)


Sure, and if they're looking for "game" that's what they'll end up with, for a little while at least.
 
2014-06-18 10:32:56 AM  

glmorrs1: Yay!  Knife thread!

[img.fark.net image 295x136]
My daily carry knife, a Gerber Hinderer.  Extra thick, blunt and rounded tip and blade intended for prying and extrication rather than cutting, serrated bottom 3/4 of the blade to cut through anything (except the patient), fold out seatbelt cutter and a glass breaker on the bottom.  And the icing on the cake, an oxygen wrench cutout on the other side of the handle.

[img.fark.net image 300x300]
My camping knife, got it from thinkgeek.  It's decently sharp, has a firesteel that fits in the handle in a waterproof compartment, and a signal whistle.

[img.fark.net image 621x189]
My "hiking through rough terrain" knife, a Ka-Bar Swabbie.  Yeah, yeah, I know, zombies, hurr-durr!  But c'mon, it's a mini farking scimitar made by Ka-Bar!  How farking cool is that?  And the bright green handles make it easy to spot at night with a flashlight if it gets dropped.


Time to spend more money. Hellooooo...Ka-Bar!

Heading back to eastern TN for a campout in the fall. Might accidentally drop in to Smoky Mountain Knife Works while I'm there.
 
2014-06-18 10:35:32 AM  
I don't carry a knife or a gun.  I just use my hands.
 
2014-06-18 10:36:46 AM  

Carn: I carried a pocket knife for forever.  I had two swiss army knives - one with just blade, can opener and bottle opener (and maybe reamer) and another with a few more.  I lost one and the second got confiscated from me at the airport when they started the new rules.  I think it's time to replace.  I'm thinking Huntsman II has the best combo of stuff I want without getting ridiculously big.  Anybody have recommendations?


I have a similar model (no hook) I've carried for almost 20 years.I use it for one thing or another daily. It's a little lumpy in a pocket, so I wear it on my belt. Nice everyday selection of tools on that one.
 
2014-06-18 10:36:55 AM  

JuggleGeek: Galloping Galoshes: Obviously they forgot that an amusement park is private property, not a government agency, and that "my land, my rules" applies there.

/In fact, if the park had phrased it that way, the family might have understood and not acted like fools.

More likely, they would have started yelling "MY KNIFE!  MY RULES!".


At which point the security guards yell "My taser, my rules".  Don't bring a knife to a taser fight.
 
2014-06-18 10:37:31 AM  

chuggernaught: I don't carry a knife or a gun.  I just use my hands.


Kinda hard to cut nylon cord with that.
 
2014-06-18 10:41:35 AM  

Famishus: Carn: I carried a pocket knife for forever.  I had two swiss army knives - one with just blade, can opener and bottle opener (and maybe reamer) and another with a few more.  I lost one and the second got confiscated from me at the airport when they started the new rules.  I think it's time to replace.  I'm thinking Huntsman II has the best combo of stuff I want without getting ridiculously big.  Anybody have recommendations?

I have a similar model (no hook) I've carried for almost 20 years.I use it for one thing or another daily. It's a little lumpy in a pocket, so I wear it on my belt. Nice everyday selection of tools on that one.


I think I'm going to go with the Fieldmaster which is all the same stuff except phillips screwdriver instead of corkscrew.  I'm not a wine guy so that doesn't do much for me.  I am constantly running in the house to find the scissors or blade or trimmers when I'm in the yard so I look forward to having one again.  If nothing else I used to use the blade and the bottle opener constantly.
 
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