Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Post)   Guards at amusement park tell family that they cannot bring their knives into the park. Father and his four kids decide the rules don't apply to them, and proceed to beat up responding officers. Have fun in jail, dumbasses   (washingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Canobie Lake Park, police officers, U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Huy Fong Foods, amusement parks, Interscope, So Happy  
•       •       •

10896 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2014 at 7:59 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



225 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-06-18 08:35:46 AM  

doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.



That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com
 
2014-06-18 08:36:28 AM  
l.yimg.com
Normally an IQ of 160 is genius-level.  But in this case, it is the sum total for the whole family.
 
2014-06-18 08:36:29 AM  
It could not immediately be determined if they had lawyers.
 
2014-06-18 08:36:41 AM  

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]


No, that is a wooden board.
 
2014-06-18 08:36:42 AM  
Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)
 
2014-06-18 08:37:06 AM  
Congress should never have made the rule banning knives from the amusement park.  That's a clear 2nd Amendment violation.
 
2014-06-18 08:37:32 AM  
HotWingConspiracy:   Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.

To be fair, AMUSEMENT, means something different to all of us.  And that bunch?  Don't even want
to know.
 
2014-06-18 08:38:00 AM  

Misconduc: Wtf do you need a knife for at a theme park? reminds me of the ash holes that bring an Ar-15 to a Dairy Queen because "2nd Amendment!!!!!! Bush!!! Merica!!"


I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.

It's a small pink handled Buck knife. The only time I brought something bigger with me was when a convicted murderer escaped a transport vehicle by my house. I start work at 10 pm and brought the Ka-Bar my brother got me for Christmas.

I then brought that into the police station but I work there so it was ok.

But had I been asked (at any place) to leave it in my car I would oblige.
 
2014-06-18 08:38:17 AM  

offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)


Even at half that much, really?  That seems like a lot of dough for a knife.  Unless it's more jewelry than tool.
 
2014-06-18 08:39:43 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 08:40:04 AM  
Well that's handy, the whole family is in the system now for future reference.  How come it's the dumbest ones that have so many kids?
 
2014-06-18 08:42:24 AM  

TheBlackFlag: Well that's handy, the whole family is in the system now for future reference.  How come it's the dumbest ones that have so many kids?


It's not; the dumbest are too stupid to procreate.
 
2014-06-18 08:43:17 AM  
Marylands knife carry rules seem to vary widely, and I have a creeping hunch that LEOs have no effing clue what they are.  The rule seems to be pretty much "don't look like a dangerous tard and it won't come up".  Which I dislike, since I like all laws to cover all people equally.

Nobody outside of an airport has ever questioned my leatherman though.  It's the wood-stocked semi auto of the knife world.
 
2014-06-18 08:44:14 AM  

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]


fc03.deviantart.net
 
GBB
2014-06-18 08:44:18 AM  

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]


Someone knows how to play Knifey-Spoony
 
2014-06-18 08:44:19 AM  

MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]


I see you've played knifey-spoony before.
 
2014-06-18 08:45:05 AM  
Rule 9: "Never go anywhere without a knife."
static.tvgcdn.net
 
2014-06-18 08:45:25 AM  

911Jenny: I've brought my knife places on accident. It's something I wear and put on without thinking.

I went to the courthouse. I hadn't planned on being there but was. I was wanded and frisked and let in. It wasn't til was sitting in the court room and scratched my clavicle area (I carry it in my bra) that I felt it and my face got bright red. Honest mistake.


Was going to the Morris County, NJ municipal building to the engineer's office once to pick up a check.  Didn't think/realize that the court house was part of the same building, had my pocket knife (swiss army!) on me.  Cops were really pissed off over that.   Thing is, didn't try to walk through security, conceal it, or anything like that.  At the metal detector I emptied my pockets, told the first officer that I didn't realize that it was a court house and asked if I could leave it with them and pick up on my way out and the dudes were STILL all pissed off about it.
 
2014-06-18 08:45:37 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: TheBlackFlag: Well that's handy, the whole family is in the system now for future reference.  How come it's the dumbest ones that have so many kids?

It's not; the dumbest are too stupid to procreate.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-06-18 08:46:47 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 08:47:04 AM  

fireclown: Marylands knife carry rules seem to vary widely, and I have a creeping hunch that LEOs have no effing clue what they are.  The rule seems to be pretty much "don't look like a dangerous tard and it won't come up".  Which I dislike, since I like all laws to cover all people equally.

Nobody outside of an airport has ever questioned my leatherman though.  It's the wood-stocked semi auto of the knife world.


That's because everyone has one and they know it's a tool, and what a tool you'd look like if you tried to shank somebody with it.  By the time you found the right blade, they would be long gone/have released the bengal tiger.
 
2014-06-18 08:47:15 AM  
Is the woman the mother of the boys, or the sister?  Or both?
 
2014-06-18 08:47:30 AM  
I can see them using the term sovereign citizen a lot.
 
2014-06-18 08:49:02 AM  
ancientpoint.com
 
2014-06-18 08:49:15 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

Even at half that much, really?  That seems like a lot of dough for a knife.  Unless it's more jewelry than tool.


Meh, you can say that about pretty much anything when you get to the higher end of stuff.  Cars, guns, turntables, pens. etc  A knife like this has a feel, a smoothness to the action, a balance that you don't get in the cheaper stuff, and I've got a few dozen knives.   I like to dream around this site.  There are many.
 
GBB
2014-06-18 08:50:41 AM  
 
2014-06-18 08:52:55 AM  

offacue: Galloping Galoshes: offacue: Knives, you say?  Got this for fathers day.   Spyderco Southard Folder.  (she paid about half that much)

Even at half that much, really?  That seems like a lot of dough for a knife.  Unless it's more jewelry than tool.

Meh, you can say that about pretty much anything when you get to the higher end of stuff.  Cars, guns, turntables, pens. etc  A knife like this has a feel, a smoothness to the action, a balance that you don't get in the cheaper stuff, and I've got a few dozen knives.   I like to dream around this site.  There are many.


Well, that's collecting.  You generally won't walk into an amusement park and get much trouble because you have your butterfly collection on your belt.
 
2014-06-18 08:52:58 AM  
I like that the mugshots seem to get happier from left to right.
 
2014-06-18 08:55:03 AM  

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.


Swamp Yankees.
 
2014-06-18 08:55:26 AM  
Last week I went to Disney and forgot I had my pocketknife clipped to my pocket. The nice old lady at the entrance told me I couldn't bring it in so I put it back in my hotel room. I guess I'm just not keepin' it "real" enough...
 
2014-06-18 08:55:27 AM  

dittybopper: Galloping Galoshes: Obviously they forgot that an amusement park is private property, not a government agency, and that "my land, my rules" applies there.

/In fact, if the park had phrased it that way, the family might have understood and not acted like fools.

Maybe, but maybe not.

I'm a big Second Amendment guy*, and I hate to have to say this, but not everyone on my side of the argument completely understands that the Bill of Rights is a limitation on government, not private individuals or corporations.  Now, "Public Accommodations" are somewhat limited in what they can and can't do (like discriminate based on race), but they can certainly require that you not carry weapons as a condition of entry.  Hell, they could require everyone to wear a silly hat if they wanted to.

*And First, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, etc. Amendment guy.


Ah, you've been to Disney, I see.
 
2014-06-18 08:57:55 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: You generally won't walk into an amusement park and get much trouble because you have your butterfly collection on your belt.


Uh, I certainly could.....    Butterfly

Although I only have one, not a collection......
 
2014-06-18 09:00:54 AM  

offacue: I like to dream around this site.  There are many.


This guy only makes 4 knives.
And I carry this one.

Know one ever knows I have it until I need to use it.

I give them to friends as gifts, too.
 
2014-06-18 09:01:23 AM  
knives are like accessories for a man, the craftsmanship is jewelry like and they come with all kinds of handles to match your outfit. Personally even shaving regularly is too much of a chore for me so never got into the whole accessorizing thing.
 
2014-06-18 09:02:31 AM  
All three were held on $10,000 cash bail, assigned a public defender and scheduled to return to court on June 25.

Why am i not surprised that these three pinnacles of human perfection cannot afford their own lawyers.
 
2014-06-18 09:03:22 AM  

offacue: Galloping Galoshes: You generally won't walk into an amusement park and get much trouble because you have your butterfly collection on your belt.

Uh, I certainly could.....    Butterfly

Although I only have one, not a collection......


I have one off those, but it's really cheap, soft, Pakistani steel
 
2014-06-18 09:04:19 AM  

pudgyv: You know, some of the biggest hicks aren't in the deep south. They're in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine.

/New Englander.


Don't forget Massachusetts. 128 is like a moat around civilization. A leaky moat, but at least it's something.
 
2014-06-18 09:04:35 AM  

offacue: Galloping Galoshes: You generally won't walk into an amusement park and get much trouble because you have your butterfly collection on your belt.

Uh, I certainly could.....    Butterfly

Although I only have one, not a collection......


Butterfly knives are like training bras for people who want to cut their own fingers off like a yakuza.
 
2014-06-18 09:05:50 AM  

stuhayes2010: I carry my kershaw POCKET knife almost everyday and every where.  Pocket being the key word. Carrying a pocket knife is very handy.    Why would someone need to carry (I assume) a fixed blade knife on their belt is beyond me.


I'm seeing the virtue of carrying a fixed blade after my folder broke after only 20 years of daily abuse. And depending on what (or how much stuff) you need to be cutting, a fixed blade might be the best tool for the job. That clearly doesn't apply to these people, or trips to the amusement park either.

And what is this "need" business? I don't need a bunch of 4TB hard drives to store my por.. er, cat pictures, but I like having a little extra storage now and then.

I normally heap scorn on any place that won't let you carry knives, but with these jackasses, I am a little more sympathetic to that rule.
 
2014-06-18 09:07:44 AM  
I LOVE KNIVES...
Am currently wearing 3 right now as I sit in my office typing this crap.
However, there are certain places you go to...carnivals, amusement parks, schools...you know...places FILLED WITH CHILDREN...
That frown on the big bladed weapon hanging off your belt or clipped to your pants pocket.
SO...I found a couple of genius moves that work pretty well...
A) Leave the damn thing/things in your car...
or
B) Take the knife off your belt or pocket and put it IN your pocket! CONCEALED...
I know this is a mind-blowing revelation for some of these guys, but it works.
No one will say anything to you if they don't know you have it.
Only a showboating jackass would have a problem with this.
 
2014-06-18 09:08:11 AM  

dittybopper: if something needs to be cut, or a screw driven, everyone looks at me.

i1.ytimg.com

 
2014-06-18 09:08:16 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.


Time out.  A knife like that is no more a weapon than a pair of scissors, and is something that people really get in the habit of taking everywhere because, frankly, it's imminently useful in a variety of surprising situations.

I'm more inclined to see that and think "tool" than "knife", and "weapon" wouldn't cross my mind until 2 inches of stainless actually wound up inside a hole it just made in me.
 
2014-06-18 09:10:22 AM  

doglover: MythDragon: doglover: [fe391d5e875395beaa5c-4d0fcf8d315d40f305ee2ebb6c32f79c.r96.cf1.rackcd n .com image 800x475]

It moved.


That's not a knife....THIS is a knife:
[www.naturalhealthsciencesofarizona.com image 400x262]

[fc03.deviantart.net image 850x386]


playingwithsuperpower.com

Approves
 
2014-06-18 09:11:05 AM  
This was formerly known as Tuesday at Great Adventure (aka Gangsta's Paradise).

True story.  My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast in New Hampshire owned and operated by a friend.  We got talking to the friend about how does she fit in her busy B&B schedule with anything approaching a social life.  She told us she gave up on finding a man in New Hampshire.  She said there were two types of men in NH:  super wealthy types who are either taken or gay; or some of the finest examples of worthless, knuckle dragging, never account for much drunkards or drug fiends known to man.
 
2014-06-18 09:11:19 AM  

BeesNuts: HotWingConspiracy: dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.

Time out.  A knife like that is no more a weapon than a pair of scissors, and is something that people really get in the habit of taking everywhere because, frankly, it's imminently useful in a variety of surprising situations.

I'm more inclined to see that and think "tool" than "knife", and "weapon" wouldn't cross my mind until 2 inches of stainless actually wound up inside a hole it just made in me.


So you think it is OK for kids to run around with scissors?  Why do you hate our troops' kids?
 
2014-06-18 09:11:44 AM  

BeesNuts: it's imminently useful


That it is imminently useful could be eminently useful.
 
2014-06-18 09:12:55 AM  

macadamnut: Mr. Parker: "What's with the knife? Are we having cake?"

He's taking the knife out of the cheese! Do you think he wants some cheese?


ARTHUR!!!
 
2014-06-18 09:13:04 AM  
I know eugenics isn't the way to go, but can we stop feeding people lead and polychlorinated biphenyls  then forcing them to copulate? We're going to run out of banjos if this shiat keeps up.
 
2014-06-18 09:13:12 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: I wonder how they vote


Well they are in Vermont.
 
2014-06-18 09:14:02 AM  

BeesNuts: HotWingConspiracy: dittybopper: The dumbass part was keeping the knives on the belt.  Just say "OK, sorry, we forgot we had them on", go back to the car, remove them from your belt, and put them in your pocket (assuming it's a folding knife)

Yeah guys, the smart thing to do here is to lie and completely disregard the park owner's policies so you have some means to injure or kill another human. In an amusement park.

Time out.  A knife like that is no more a weapon than a pair of scissors, and is something that people really get in the habit of taking everywhere because, frankly, it's imminently useful in a variety of surprising situations.

I'm more inclined to see that and think "tool" than "knife", and "weapon" wouldn't cross my mind until 2 inches of stainless actually wound up inside a hole it just made in me.


So they wanted them in case they needed to help repair some rides? If habit is why the knives were still on their belts, it shouldn't have been a big deal to leave them in the car.
 
Displayed 50 of 225 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report