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(Huffington Post)   Thirteen sentences that never end well   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 110
    More: Obvious, never ends, convictions  
•       •       •

11835 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2014 at 4:34 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-17 02:55:44 PM  
Suspiciously absent from list:

"Hold my beer and watch this."
 
2014-06-17 02:58:30 PM  
"So I met her on TFD and..."
 
2014-06-17 02:59:50 PM  
"Let me tell you what I know about the negro..."
 
2014-06-17 03:00:55 PM  
Missing from list: life without parole
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-06-17 03:14:02 PM  
A girl once told me "we need to talk" and it wasn't a prelude to dumping me.
 
2014-06-17 03:19:17 PM  
"As Hitler once said..."
 
Pud
2014-06-17 03:20:05 PM  
"Does this dress / these jeans make my ass look fat?"

/There is no correct answer to this. It's just best to fake a coughing fit and leave the room.
 
2014-06-17 03:31:13 PM  
"What's the worst that could happen?"
 
2014-06-17 03:36:13 PM  
"My overly large man-hands and Adam's Apple can be easily explained, honey, and here's why......"
 
2014-06-17 03:36:59 PM  

Pud: "Does this dress / these jeans make my ass look fat?"

/There is no correct answer to this. It's just best to fake a coughing fit and leave the room.


This is where we learn from the world cup and flop.
 
2014-06-17 03:41:30 PM  
So there was this hilarious scene on Two & a Half Men last week...
 
2014-06-17 03:43:47 PM  
"Step out of the car..."
 
2014-06-17 03:46:20 PM  

bearded clamorer: "Step out of the car..."


Immediately prefaced by "Have you been drinking tonight?"
 
2014-06-17 03:51:09 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: So there was this hilarious scene on Two & a Half Men last week...


that sentence is purely fictional.
 
2014-06-17 04:07:32 PM  
Can I just tell you, your sister has one fine ass on her...
 
2014-06-17 04:08:52 PM  

phlegmmo: Suspiciously absent from list:

"Hold my beer and watch this."


Because that always ends in awesome. For those of us who watch the video, anyway.
 
2014-06-17 04:35:30 PM  
Thirteen incomplete sentences that never...
 
2014-06-17 04:37:41 PM  

phlegmmo: Suspiciously absent from list:

"Hold my beer and watch this."


Done in one.  I'll get the lights.
 
2014-06-17 04:38:42 PM  
I don't want to sound shallow but...
 
2014-06-17 04:38:56 PM  
So, I've been researching this nudist campsite online...

Did you know that the Smith's are swingers, I find that so interesting...
 
2014-06-17 04:39:24 PM  
I thought this was going to be one of those "featured partner" links (the ones that cannot be commented upon) and then realized I haven't seen "featured partner" in a while now.  Interesting.
 
2014-06-17 04:40:08 PM  
Time to stand up for our rights, sheeple ...
 
2014-06-17 04:40:13 PM  
So... Huffington Post is stealing BuzzFeed's shtick? Awesome work.
 
2014-06-17 04:40:39 PM  
Um....you might be getting a call from the Dept. of health.
 
2014-06-17 04:40:46 PM  
Back when I was your age....
 
2014-06-17 04:42:02 PM  
Slow down, what do you mean slow down; it's only ice and I have four wheel drive
 
2014-06-17 04:43:31 PM  
"So I read on Huffington Post..."
 
2014-06-17 04:43:40 PM  
The Internet is getting worse.
What's next?
"6 kinds of sandwiches you can make at home"
"14 ways a door can be opened or closed"
"One shoe per foot?"
"Footwear for walking, or running if there's an emergency"
 
2014-06-17 04:44:12 PM  
so Basically, Yadda Yadda Yadda  BUT <- Theres the key component.
 
2014-06-17 04:44:46 PM  

Pud: "Does this dress / these jeans make my ass look fat?"

/There is no correct answer to this. It's just best to fake a coughing fit and leave the room.


I'd take a different approach... look intently at her butt, walk over, grab it and say.. "I'll need to take a closer look."

then smile.
 
2014-06-17 04:45:28 PM  
I hope you don't mind but I forwarded that hilarious email you sent me to a few friends ...
 
2014-06-17 04:45:36 PM  

shopball: Can I just tell you, your sister has one fine ass on her...


Shut up, Dad. You're drunk.
 
2014-06-17 04:46:16 PM  
I won't ---- in your mouth ..
 
2014-06-17 04:47:19 PM  
The cat is on the roof.
 
2014-06-17 04:47:27 PM  
Get your head lower honey, I can't see the tv
 
2014-06-17 04:48:48 PM  
Do you guys have plans for the weekend?
 
2014-06-17 04:49:20 PM  
 
2014-06-17 04:49:27 PM  
Honestly hon, yeah that dress make you look a little plump...
 
2014-06-17 04:49:36 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Missing from list: life without parole


I was gonna say "death sentence".  That rarely ends will either.
 
2014-06-17 04:54:32 PM  
"I got the test back and you should probably...."

"I have to show you something at the dumpsters behind the Piggly Wiggly...."
 
2014-06-17 04:55:57 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: I thought this was going to be one of those "featured partner" links (the ones that cannot be commented upon) and then realized I haven't seen "featured partner" in a while now.  Interesting.


They've just enabled comments on the "featured partner" links and hide them in as regular articles. This is one of them. No Farker would be inane enough to submit the sort of crap that is TFA.
 
2014-06-17 04:56:41 PM  
But sir, your daughter always rides in the trunk.
 
gja
2014-06-17 04:57:59 PM  
"Remember how I told you I knew you still turn me on when we got old by looking at your mom....?"
 
2014-06-17 04:58:01 PM  
Sir, uh, me and your daughter...
 
gja
2014-06-17 05:02:09 PM  

noneyourbase: Sir, uh, me and your daughter...


That's when things get all stabby/shooty/punchy/kicky
 
2014-06-17 05:02:29 PM  
Missing from that list: "I do."
 
2014-06-17 05:03:39 PM  
"So, a funny thing happened with your dog and all that lube I had . . ."
 
2014-06-17 05:04:33 PM  
Welcome to the No Spin Zone.
 
2014-06-17 05:05:29 PM  
THe conversations I dread are the ones that start with a call from a family member after 7pm. About a 40% chance that someone died.
 
2014-06-17 05:06:44 PM  
"As Sean Hannity shrewdly observed on his show last night...."
 
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