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(AL.com)   If you're going to throw a party where you reveal the gender of your unborn child to all your family and friends, you should do it like they do it in the South and fire off shotgun shells loaded with glitter and confetti   ( al.com) divider line
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3627 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2014 at 9:45 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-17 09:18:36 PM  
Subby sounds totes jelly.
 
2014-06-17 09:47:35 PM  
needs to go full ac/dc and use cannons.
 
2014-06-17 09:47:47 PM  
And name your daughter Remmington. Seems like that bit is important.

/Remmi's a pretty badass name, actually.
 
2014-06-17 09:56:27 PM  
They named it Remmington?  I look forward to the next time this family makes the news.

The story will include the phrase "barricade situation".
 
2014-06-17 09:59:09 PM  
i heard it used for a boy......and it should have stayed there..
 
2014-06-17 10:00:04 PM  
Everyone needs a hobby. Child-parent worship party planning gets the job done. Trouble is, no one will care about your 12-year-old unfortunate issue. Especially you. You had fun pretending. And that is fun.
 
2014-06-17 10:02:14 PM  
The couple plan to call her Remmi. She'll be the fourth generation in the family to have Sue as a middle name.


Of course she is.
 
2014-06-17 10:09:00 PM  
I have to say, he's carrying a little low.  You don't expect the kid that low on the torso until much later in the pregnancy.
 
2014-06-17 10:12:13 PM  

zamboni: Subby sounds totes jelly.


Exactly. And I'm from the People's Republic of Seattle.
 
2014-06-17 10:14:34 PM  
What's with all the Fuq names the last quarter century or so? It's not unique.
I read an article in my home town paper, couldn't tell if any of the kids names were male or female.
Most of them most likely translate to "Do you know who my daddy be?"
 
2014-06-17 10:17:24 PM  
This idea almost pisses me off as much as the current trend for Look-At-Me folks who throw a hundred parties leading up to their wedding.

I love to party but when it's all for the purpose of focusing more of the spotlight on an attention seeking bride, it grosses me out; why the fark don't you just invite your friends over for drinks instead of a save the date party?
 
2014-06-17 10:17:43 PM  
"Gender reveal parties" are a thing? No one cares about your kid, they're just being polite.
 
2014-06-17 10:18:46 PM  
I've never understood the point of giving a child a name with the intention of immediately calling them something else. If they are going to call her Remmi, why not farking name her Remmi? Or Remy, which is actually a name. I understand that nicknames happen organically sometimes, but this is pointless.
 
2014-06-17 10:19:44 PM  
i291.photobucket.com

And he's starting out in the warmth of friends. Thank you. Please, help yourselves to something to eat.
 
2014-06-17 10:28:37 PM  

poison_amy: I've never understood the point of giving a child a name with the intention of immediately calling them something else. If they are going to call her Remmi, why not farking name her Remmi? Or Remy, which is actually a name. I understand that nicknames happen organically sometimes, but this is pointless.


Dude, just be glad she has "Sue".  I have known more people than I care to who had nothing but three surnames.  And my wife grew up with twin girls, one named Martha, the other Bedford.  I have always marveled at the phrase "Southern Gothic" - it is two words doing the job of one.
 
2014-06-17 10:30:00 PM  
Who is so self-centered as to think that anyone cares enough about the gender of their unborn child to attend a party dedicated to its unveiling? Now, I'm a girl, and like most girls, babies melt my otherwise cold and cynical heart. I get rather excited when my friends have babies. But not so excited I'd go to one of these parties.
 
2014-06-17 10:31:05 PM  
Conception parties are the real untapped resource here.

Throw a party every time your husband plans to drop a load in you.
 
2014-06-17 10:31:35 PM  
What a total and complete areshole (the husband, father-to-be).

Click through the pics.  You'll see him dressed like a complete arsehole, simultaneously, oh yeah, FIRING HIS FARKING HOMEMADE SPARKLE SHOTGUN SHELL, ONE HANDED, WITH THE OTHER ARM WRAPPED AROUND HIS PREGNANT WIFE.

Are you farking kidding me?
 
2014-06-17 10:33:30 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Conception parties are the real untapped resource here.

Throw a party every time your husband plans to drop a load in you.


George Francisco approves.

/obscure?
 
2014-06-17 10:36:16 PM  
Give me a break, I've lost a pint of blood.
 
2014-06-17 10:37:30 PM  
It's all fun until some yahoo gets their shells mixed up.
 
2014-06-17 10:44:44 PM  

m053486: What a total and complete areshole (the husband, father-to-be).

Click through the pics.  You'll see him dressed like a complete arsehole, simultaneously, oh yeah, FIRING HIS FARKING HOMEMADE SPARKLE SHOTGUN SHELL, ONE HANDED, WITH THE OTHER ARM WRAPPED AROUND HIS PREGNANT WIFE.

Are you farking kidding me?


Dude, she's not gonna fark you.
 
2014-06-17 10:48:50 PM  
Unless it's an alien chest burster who the hell cares?
 
2014-06-17 10:56:49 PM  
The Redneckstocrats?
 
2014-06-17 11:00:27 PM  

poison_amy: I've never understood the point of giving a child a name with the intention of immediately calling them something else. If they are going to call her Remmi, why not farking name her Remmi? Or Remy, which is actually a name. I understand that nicknames happen organically sometimes, but this is pointless.


My aunt and uncle did this. Said "We're naming her Victoria*, but going to shorten it to Vicky." Ended up with the nickname Tori instead.

I hate when people name children nicknames instead of a proper name. Sounds as silly to me as Apple or Scout.

*name changed for the sake of anonymity as it's an uncommon name.
 
2014-06-17 11:09:15 PM  

the_vicious_fez: /Remmi's a pretty badass name, actually.


Sure, for a boy. Who grows up to be a wormhole travelling doo-wop legend.
 
2014-06-17 11:16:07 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: the_vicious_fez: /Remmi's a pretty badass name, actually.

Sure, for a boy. Who grows up to be a wormhole travelling doo-wop legend.


Nah, it's great for a girl. It's unique, but it's not get-beat-up-on-the-playground weird. She'll love it.

/My name is a man's name in Ireland, apparently. Wouldn't trade it for anything. I know whereof I speak.
 
2014-06-17 11:18:28 PM  

Snooki Punch: Who is so self-centered as to think that anyone cares enough about the gender of their unborn child to attend a party dedicated to its unveiling? Now, I'm a girl, and like most girls, babies melt my otherwise cold and cynical heart. I get rather excited when my friends have babies. But not so excited I'd go to one of these parties.


So I guess that means you're not bringing a gift.
 
2014-06-17 11:18:37 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: the_vicious_fez: /Remmi's a pretty badass name, actually.

Sure, for a boy. Who grows up to be a wormhole travelling doo-wop legend.


...and as someone with the wireless network named 'Bunkhouse', I really should have caught that. ::whooooosh::
 
2014-06-17 11:19:57 PM  
They named their girl Remington?

I guess she better steele herself for a lot of teasing.
 
2014-06-17 11:40:34 PM  

m053486: What a total and complete areshole (the husband, father-to-be).

Click through the pics.  You'll see him dressed like a complete arsehole, simultaneously, oh yeah, FIRING HIS FARKING HOMEMADE SPARKLE SHOTGUN SHELL, ONE HANDED, WITH THE OTHER ARM WRAPPED AROUND HIS PREGNANT WIFE.

Are you farking kidding me?


Don't worry, he knows what he's doing.

/guns are toys! wheee!
 
2014-06-17 11:54:11 PM  
Remmington Sue: I see a stripper pole in this girls future.
 
2014-06-17 11:55:30 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.com
Why would you want to know the gender of a child?
 
2014-06-18 01:11:51 AM  
*e-hem*

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-18 02:31:12 AM  
I find out the gender of my blessed little crotch fruit on Sunday.

A friend was giving me grief because all I was going to do was put it on Facebook....the grapevine of 2014 (my parents will be with me at the ultrasound).

I don't get the idea if having a crap ton of parties for this. I'm barely excited about the idea of having to sit through a baby shower.
 
2014-06-18 04:46:03 AM  
This is a great idea, have everybody gather round the ultra sound so that everybody you know can have some punch and pie as you find out that your child has terrible birth defects.
Or better yet, Stillborn!

/I guess that means that everybody can take back their gifts.
//surprised I haven't heard of this happening to some poor couple.
 
2014-06-18 05:08:40 AM  
"How do you do? My name is Sue!"
 
2014-06-18 06:26:03 AM  
Y'all are missing a salient point here: there's cake!
 
2014-06-18 06:38:53 AM  
How'bout you don't have one of those stupid parties at all, you farking attention whore. No one cares.
 
2014-06-18 07:01:08 AM  

the_vicious_fez: /My name is a man's name in Ireland, apparently. Wouldn't trade it for anything. I know whereof I speak.


Hi Shannon-Kelly.
 
GBB
2014-06-18 07:05:10 AM  

m053486: What a total and complete areshole (the husband, father-to-be).

Click through the pics.  You'll see him dressed like a complete arsehole, simultaneously, oh yeah, FIRING HIS FARKING HOMEMADE SPARKLE SHOTGUN SHELL, ONE HANDED, WITH THE OTHER ARM WRAPPED AROUND HIS PREGNANT WIFE.

Are you farking kidding me?


"Both of your parents are half deaf?  Are you also half-deaf?"
"No, my parents are idiots and fired off a shotgun next to their heads to celebrate my gender, or something."
 
2014-06-18 07:20:35 AM  

Snooki Punch: Who is so self-centered as to think that anyone cares enough about the gender of their unborn child to attend a party dedicated to its unveiling? Now, I'm a girl, and like most girls, babies melt my otherwise cold and cynical heart. I get rather excited when my friends have babies. But not so excited I'd go to one of these parties.


It's an excuse to have a party.
 
2014-06-18 07:25:38 AM  

KarmicDisaster: It's all fun until some yahoo gets their shells mixed up.


Even then, it's probably still fun and games:  Birdshot fired up into the air is pretty harmless when it comes down*, and it's pretty short range anyway.

Slugs and buckshot?  Well, I wouldn't do that.  That would be unsafe.


*Only time I think it could be a problem is if you are looking up and a pellet gets in your eye.
 
2014-06-18 07:57:19 AM  
I have some glitter and confetti shotguns shells.

Only, it's not so much glitter and confetti as it is burning magnesium
i1.ytimg.com

/not me, of course.
 
2014-06-18 08:09:28 AM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Conception parties are the real untapped resource here.

Throw a party every time your husband plans to drop a load in you.


He already is.
 
2014-06-18 08:27:24 AM  

911Jenny: I find out the gender of my blessed little crotch fruit on Sunday.

A friend was giving me grief because all I was going to do was put it on Facebook....the grapevine of 2014 (my parents will be with me at the ultrasound).

I don't get the idea if having a crap ton of parties for this. I'm barely excited about the idea of having to sit through a baby shower.


If you think the shower will be painful, what til you squeeze that watermelon out of your cooch.
 
2014-06-18 08:39:26 AM  
My nephew and his wife shot their crossbows at balloons filled with paint for their gender reveal party.

Also had four baby showers.

It's quite the production having a baby these days.
 
2014-06-18 09:32:18 AM  
so since it all started with a bang, they just figured they'd keep the pattern going?
 
2014-06-18 09:32:22 AM  

FrancoFile: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Conception parties are the real untapped resource here.

Throw a party every time your husband plans to drop a load in you.

George Francisco approves.

/obscure?


www.thinkhero.com

/I still think his original first name of Sam was far better...
 
2014-06-18 09:34:26 AM  

MemeSlave: 911Jenny: I find out the gender of my blessed little crotch fruit on Sunday.

A friend was giving me grief because all I was going to do was put it on Facebook....the grapevine of 2014 (my parents will be with me at the ultrasound).

I don't get the idea if having a crap ton of parties for this. I'm barely excited about the idea of having to sit through a baby shower.

If you think the shower will be painful, what til you squeeze that watermelon out of your cooch.


Even more painful:  Baby is stillborn.

That just happened to a co-worker of mine.  Not even a slight hint of a problem until a couple days before her due date.
 
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