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(Slate)   Lord Voldemort was a virgin. That explains a lot   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Lord Voldemort, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Draco Malfoy, Riddle, megalomanias, J. K. Rowling, Dumbledore  
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4947 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Jun 2014 at 4:00 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-17 01:10:01 PM  
FTA "Sex is instinctive and offers one of the highest forms of pleasure. To most people, that is. Voldemort, in my opinion, was above that."

Voldemort was above one of the highest forms of pleasure? This is a respectable position suddenly? We only say that someone is above something as declaration of their supremacy.

"He's evil, and that's about all."

Therefore his perspectives on all matters is to be considered antithetical to the cause of good.
 
2014-06-17 01:47:19 PM  
There's probably a valid medical reason for it

31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-06-17 03:36:40 PM  
No. He was the most narcissistic narcissist that ever narcissicized. Voldemort was all about his own personal power and how he was better than everybody else.

His arrogance was his undoing. He thought that he was the smartest, most powerful wizard in the history of ever. He couldn't imagine a scenario where he failed to get what he wanted.

/ besides, he had an entire group of groupies around him that would have done whatever he wanted. Plus, there's the imperious curse to consider; he was farked up enough to imperious some poor person and do whatever he wanted.
 
2014-06-17 03:42:05 PM  
38.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-06-17 03:43:27 PM  

iheartscotch: No. He was the most narcissistic narcissist that ever narcissicized. Voldemort was all about his own personal power and how he was better than everybody else.

His arrogance was his undoing. He thought that he was the smartest, most powerful wizard in the history of ever. He couldn't imagine a scenario where he failed to get what he wanted.

/ besides, he had an entire group of groupies around him that would have done whatever he wanted. Plus, there's the imperious curse to consider; he was farked up enough to imperious some poor person and do whatever he wanted.


I know he's fictional but....*shudder*
 
2014-06-17 03:43:33 PM  
I thought he was all about giving the girls his snake.
 
2014-06-17 03:47:09 PM  
c'mon you're telling me that he did not take advantage of Bellatrix's absolute willingness to do any vile despicable act for him?

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-17 03:55:33 PM  

NuttierThanEver: c'mon you're telling me that he did not take advantage of Bellatrix's absolute willingness to do any vile despicable act for him?


I thought about that as well; but, when I considered it, I realized that, if he told them to, any one of his group of merry sociopaths would have done whatever he wanted.

/ If George R.R. Martin had written the Harry Potter series; I guarantee there would have been more than one scene where Voldemort did something horribly sexually deviant to one of his followers.

// and we'd still be on book 6
 
2014-06-17 04:07:10 PM  
iheartscotch:
// and we'd still be on book 6

Only because someone nerdier than I posted this this morning:
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-17 04:07:27 PM  

lindalouwho: iheartscotch: No. He was the most narcissistic narcissist that ever narcissicized.  Hitler was all about his own personal power and how he was better than everybody else.

His arrogance was his undoing. He thought that he was the smartest, most powerful  leader in the history of ever. He couldn't imagine a scenario where he failed to get what he wanted.

/ besides, he had an entire group of groupies around him that would have done whatever he wanted. Plus, there's the  death camps to consider; he was farked up enough to threaten some poor person and do whatever he wanted.

I know he's fictional but....*shudder*


Yep, it works.
 
2014-06-17 04:09:23 PM  
Tom Riddle, nee Lord Voldemort, was the hook up king during his sixth and seventh year.  Tom was mastering occlumency at the time so he was able to get into his partner(s) head and push them to new heights in return this partner(s) would allow him more and more bizarre pleasures fulfilling Tom's desire to corrupt those around him.
 
2014-06-17 04:13:36 PM  
So he was like the virgin killer? All pissy that 10's were not throwing themselves at his feet. Damn he coulda just gotten a BJ and been better off for it.
 
2014-06-17 04:14:05 PM  
Why do you think he kept Malfoy around? He was tapping his wife.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-17 04:15:05 PM  
This thread is veering dangerously close to trashy fan fic all of a sudden.
 
2014-06-17 04:16:02 PM  
Does Voldemort even have a dick?

/doesn't have a nose
 
2014-06-17 04:18:16 PM  

namegoeshere: lindalouwho: iheartscotch: No. He was the most narcissistic narcissist that ever narcissicized.  Hitler was all about his own personal power and how he was better than everybody else.

His arrogance was his undoing. He thought that he was the smartest, most powerful  leader in the history of ever. He couldn't imagine a scenario where he failed to get what he wanted.

/ besides, he had an entire group of groupies around him that would have done whatever he wanted. Plus, there's the  death camps to consider; he was farked up enough to threaten some poor person and do whatever he wanted.

I know he's fictional but....*shudder*

Yep, it works.


o_O

I see what I accidently did there lol
 
2014-06-17 04:18:40 PM  
I'd always hoped he was Mcgonigal's lover, and that would be The Big Twist.

1) They went to school in the exact same year.

2) She wore green.

3) She actsweirdly when Baby Harry is alive and handed over to his aunt.

But it wasn't. Booo.
 
2014-06-17 04:19:51 PM  

cgraves67: This thread is veering dangerously close to trashy fan fic all of a sudden.


Don't make me write Bellatrix and Voldemort: When Wands Cross. I'll do it.
 
2014-06-17 04:20:04 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Does Voldemort even have a dick?

/doesn't have a nose


They're somehow related to you?
 
2014-06-17 04:22:17 PM  
Probably best to leave this one alone since they are kids books, but I would think Voldemort would have sex with his followers just to prove his dominance over them.
 
2014-06-17 04:26:18 PM  

Copperbelly watersnake: Probably best to leave this one alone since they are kids books, but I would think Voldemort would have sex with his followers just to prove his dominance over them.


They're kids books in which a significant (though not major) character is known to have been prosecuted for "inappropriate charms with a goat" and there is implied non-consensual sex between two minor characters (which likely resulted in the conception of Tom Riddle).  I think your assumption is probably valid.
 
2014-06-17 04:28:03 PM  

NuttierThanEver: c'mon you're telling me that he did not take advantage of Bellatrix's absolute willingness to do any vile despicable act for him?

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 292x409]


I would have gone gay for Bellatrix.
 
2014-06-17 04:29:01 PM  
How you think he made Nagini into a horcrux, hm?
 
2014-06-17 04:29:48 PM  
I never figured he would with anyone, because to him it'd be like mating with a dog would be for us. Everyone else is too far beneath him, he could never lower himself.
 
2014-06-17 04:33:57 PM  

lindalouwho: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Does Voldemort even have a dick?

/doesn't have a nose

They're somehow related to you?



www.founditemclothing.com
 
2014-06-17 04:34:03 PM  

ValisIV: I never figured he would with anyone, because to him it'd be like mating with a dog would be for us. Everyone else is too far beneath him, he could never lower himself.


That's pretty much the conclusion of the article's author. He thinks too highly of himself to sully his physical form by copulating with any other wizard or witch.
 
2014-06-17 04:36:02 PM  

ValisIV: I never figured he would with anyone, because to him it'd be like mating with a dog would be for us. Everyone else is too far beneath him, he could never lower himself.


I see him more like Caligula, perhaps not participating but ordering his servants to act out despicable sexual acts on each more for the display of power than for his own titilation
 
2014-06-17 04:37:09 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Does Voldemort even have a dick?

/doesn't have a nose


i1.ytimg.com
That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf Voldemort. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
 
2014-06-17 04:38:34 PM  

SundaesChild: NuttierThanEver: c'mon you're telling me that he did not take advantage of Bellatrix's absolute willingness to do any vile despicable act for him?

[img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 292x409]

I would have gone gay for Bellatrix.


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
I'd tame that Strange.
 
2014-06-17 04:43:26 PM  
Seriously, who decides these things?
 
2014-06-17 04:46:38 PM  

SundaesChild: I would have gone gay for Bellatrix.


img.fark.net
 
2014-06-17 04:46:58 PM  
tl;dr

farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2014-06-17 04:49:47 PM  

Electromax: iheartscotch:
// and we'd still be on book 6

Only because someone nerdier than I posted this this morning:
[i.imgur.com image 600x527]


Maybe it'd be better if they compared it against Tales of the Malazan book of the Fallen by Steven Erickson.   You know, same genre and all.
 
2014-06-17 04:53:18 PM  
Solution to your ills?

Hit it.
 
2014-06-17 04:56:44 PM  
No wonder he was always after strange new wands.

/I typed that "wangs" at first
 
2014-06-17 05:12:16 PM  

SpartacusHobbs: Copperbelly watersnake: Probably best to leave this one alone since they are kids books, but I would think Voldemort would have sex with his followers just to prove his dominance over them.

They're kids books in which a significant (though not major) character is known to have been prosecuted for "inappropriate charms with a goat" and there is implied non-consensual sex between two minor characters (which likely resulted in the conception of Tom Riddle).  I think your assumption is probably valid.


Don't forget the probable rape by the hands of the centaurs.
 
2014-06-17 05:29:06 PM  

Jeteupthemiddle: SpartacusHobbs: Copperbelly watersnake: Probably best to leave this one alone since they are kids books, but I would think Voldemort would have sex with his followers just to prove his dominance over them.

They're kids books in which a significant (though not major) character is known to have been prosecuted for "inappropriate charms with a goat" and there is implied non-consensual sex between two minor characters (which likely resulted in the conception of Tom Riddle).  I think your assumption is probably valid.

Don't forget the probable rape by the hands of the centaurs.


And the racist undertones that were rampant. Definitely a children's book.
 
2014-06-17 05:39:49 PM  
Of course he was a virgin. How could he not be? He went to Hogwarts, a place where healthy teenagers with the usual complement of sexual urges, plus  virtually limitless magical powers, cannot contrive to get even so far as second base.
 
2014-06-17 05:40:22 PM  
I see that the author managed to recycle one of his Modern English Lit essays from college instead of writing something new.
 
2014-06-17 05:41:54 PM  
Lord Voldemort = Elliot Rodger.
 
2014-06-17 05:58:34 PM  

Jeteupthemiddle: Don't forget the probable rape by the hands of the centaurs.


I always thought that was a nice inclusion as anyone into mythology knows that's what Centaurs do, they rape women.
 
2014-06-17 05:58:46 PM  
You know Whoremoine sure wasn't.  It's perfectly Krumulent to think that
 
2014-06-17 06:10:53 PM  
well IS a wizard...

i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-06-17 06:15:17 PM  

yarnothuntin: well IS a wizard...


www.vgmemes.com
 
2014-06-17 06:16:46 PM  

lindalouwho: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Does Voldemort even have a dick?

/doesn't have a nose

They're somehow related to you?


Well, you know what they say about the size of a man's nose relating to the size....

That poor bastard,  Voldemort.  Even if he wanted to, he was hung like a Ken doll.  I'd go psycho too, under the circumstances.
 
2014-06-17 06:17:00 PM  

semiotix: Of course he was a virgin. How could he not be? He went to Hogwarts, a place where healthy teenagers with the usual complement of sexual urges, plus  virtually limitless magical powers, cannot contrive to get even so far as second base.


Don't get me started on JK Rowling's ideas of how teenage boys behave. If you had a shop near my school selling love sweets, the shop would have been sold out within minutes and any girl over the age of 15 in a 2 mile radius would have been deflowered. Especially as selling love sweets seems to be OK.

Actually, don't get me started on the whole problem of wizard folk in the real world. Forget magic roofies. I've got liquid luck. Think I'll go and play the stock market just afterwards, make a gazillion dollars and have a dozen trophy girlfriends. The appearance of magical folk would pretty much wipe out muggles as the wizards would get to bone all the chicks and the muggles would go dry. The wizards wouldn't need to destroy the muggles, they'd just outbreed them.
 
2014-06-17 06:22:47 PM  
Meh call me back when JK Rowling chimes in on the topic, not that i think she would bother.,
 
2014-06-17 06:34:59 PM  
Why are so many people psychoanalyzing a FICTIONAL character?

It's farking weird and creepy. Stop it.
 
2014-06-17 06:42:39 PM  

farkeruk: semiotix: Of course he was a virgin. How could he not be? He went to Hogwarts, a place where healthy teenagers with the usual complement of sexual urges, plus  virtually limitless magical powers, cannot contrive to get even so far as second base.

Don't get me started on JK Rowling's ideas of how teenage boys behave. If you had a shop near my school selling love sweets, the shop would have been sold out within minutes and any girl over the age of 15 in a 2 mile radius would have been deflowered. Especially as selling love sweets seems to be OK.

Actually, don't get me started on the whole problem of wizard folk in the real world. Forget magic roofies. I've got liquid luck. Think I'll go and play the stock market just afterwards, make a gazillion dollars and have a dozen trophy girlfriends. The appearance of magical folk would pretty much wipe out muggles as the wizards would get to bone all the chicks and the muggles would go dry. The wizards wouldn't need to destroy the muggles, they'd just outbreed them.


That assumes that magical ability is successfully passed down a lot more often to children of "mixed" parentage than it seemed to be from the books. At best, I think you'd get a permanent middle class of half-bloods, sorta like ancient Sparta and their Helots.
 
2014-06-17 06:49:57 PM  

farkeruk: semiotix: Of course he was a virgin. How could he not be? He went to Hogwarts, a place where healthy teenagers with the usual complement of sexual urges, plus  virtually limitless magical powers, cannot contrive to get even so far as second base.

Don't get me started on JK Rowling's ideas of how teenage boys behave. If you had a shop near my school selling love sweets, the shop would have been sold out within minutes and any girl over the age of 15 in a 2 mile radius would have been deflowered. Especially as selling love sweets seems to be OK.

Actually, don't get me started on the whole problem of wizard folk in the real world. Forget magic roofies. I've got liquid luck. Think I'll go and play the stock market just afterwards, make a gazillion dollars and have a dozen trophy girlfriends. The appearance of magical folk would pretty much wipe out muggles as the wizards would get to bone all the chicks and the muggles would go dry. The wizards wouldn't need to destroy the muggles, they'd just outbreed them.


I did think it wrong that Harry would look at only 2 girls in school. No, he would have looked at every female student, and perhaps some of the younger teachers. That's male biology.
 
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