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(Short List)   The worst alternate endings ever. Warning: contains Linda Hamilton in prosthetics   (shortlist.com ) divider line
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11501 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jun 2014 at 4:19 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-16 03:18:52 PM  
shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.
 
2014-06-16 04:28:56 PM  

Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.


They couldn't prevent Judgment Day because the past is obdurate.
 
2014-06-16 04:30:46 PM  
I liked the alternate ending where the Terminator just goes back to where John Connor is six years old and blasts him at recess.  It really cuts down on the running time of the movie.
 
2014-06-16 04:39:44 PM  

The Crepes of Wrath: Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.

They couldn't prevent Judgment Day because the past is obdurate.


Let me get my thesaurus...ok, if Judgement Day was postponed, there's no reason while it couldn't be prevented. Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.
 
2014-06-16 04:45:08 PM  

Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.



Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"
 
2014-06-16 04:52:15 PM  

rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"


No, I, Robot was bullshiat because it violated the Three Laws. See, an Asimov story shouldn't violate its creator's rules...

As for TFA, most of the time, the original ending is the best, much like most of the time, you don't need the deleted scenes. These people actually DO know what they're doing most of the time. I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes I at least figured out that they wer removed because the movie would have been an epic. They still contributed to the storyline, though, so they would have worked. Otherwise, most deleted scenes and alternate endings actually should stay on the cutting room floor...
 
2014-06-16 04:52:27 PM  

Mugato: The Crepes of Wrath: Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.

They couldn't prevent Judgment Day because the past is obdurate.

Let me get my thesaurus...ok, if Judgement Day was postponed, there's no reason while it couldn't be prevented. Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Look, I'm just a guy on the internet. I don't know tech stuff.
 
2014-06-16 04:54:22 PM  

rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"


Oh fark Asimov. Even today we have robots that kill people and/or allow people to be killed.
 
2014-06-16 04:57:05 PM  

rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"


Do people actually complain about that if they're not reading one of his books or watching an adaptation thereof? Why would anyone expect an author, writer, director, or producer to conform to another's plot device?
 
2014-06-16 05:01:58 PM  

Mikey1969: I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes


The sub-plot in Aliens with Ripley's daughter wold have added to the story, IMO. And in The Empire Strikes Back, when they were escaping, 3PO rips off the warning label on the door to the room containing the wampas and the stormtroopers rush in and get eaten. That would have been pretty cool. But  I'm not going to question another editor's decisions.
 
2014-06-16 05:02:34 PM  

Mugato: The Crepes of Wrath: Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.

They couldn't prevent Judgment Day because the past is obdurate.

Let me get my thesaurus...ok, if Judgement Day was postponed, there's no reason while it couldn't be prevented. Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Hey, now, if nothing else, support proper usage of the language. "Obdurate" is a perfectly useful word in this situation, and its use should be mildly lauded.
 
2014-06-16 05:02:54 PM  
Huh, didn't expect a discussion on Asimov by people who have apparently never read his stories.
 
2014-06-16 05:03:22 PM  
By prosthetics I thought you meant she had cyborg arms and legs and eyes and such. I am disappointed.
 
2014-06-16 05:06:13 PM  

Mugato: Mikey1969: I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes

The sub-plot in Aliens with Ripley's daughter wold have added to the story, IMO. And in The Empire Strikes Back, when they were escaping, 3PO rips off the warning label on the door to the room containing the wampas and the stormtroopers rush in and get eaten. That would have been pretty cool. But  I'm not going to question another editor's decisions.


I didn't watch those(The Star Wars one sounds interesting), but they're still pretty rare. For the most part, we don't lose out with the deleted scenes or alternative endings...

I'll give the Terminator ending one credit though: At least they didn't try and make the future look like "The Future!!". They always fark up clothes, cars, and things kids play with, but clothes don't change as drastically as they show in movies, and kids will always enjoy swings and slides. I think that was set in 2027, and I'll be that for the most part playground equipment will be the same.
 
2014-06-16 05:06:18 PM  

Mikey1969: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

No, I, Robot was bullshiat because it violated the Three Laws. See, an Asimov story shouldn't violate its creator's rules...

As for TFA, most of the time, the original ending is the best, much like most of the time, you don't need the deleted scenes. These people actually DO know what they're doing most of the time. I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes I at least figured out that they wer removed because the movie would have been an epic. They still contributed to the storyline, though, so they would have worked. Otherwise, most deleted scenes and alternate endings actually should stay on the cutting room floor...


The alternate ending of The Abyss is far superior to the theatrical ending
 
2014-06-16 05:07:29 PM  
FTA:  TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY It's hard to think of James Cameron's furiously entertaining sci-fi classic as possessing a flaw...

Sounds like a challenge to me.

www.esquire.com
 
2014-06-16 05:10:03 PM  

1. Put snakes on plane: Huh, didn't expect a discussion on Asimov by people who have apparently never read his stories.


QFT

IIRC Asimov set up the 3 laws and wrote the stories about them (the laws) to show how they wouldn't work. Too bad he's worse than Frank Miller when it comes to writing female characters (IMHO).

Dr. Susan Calvin, anyone?
 
2014-06-16 05:11:48 PM  
Holy hell, that photoshopped girl in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
 
2014-06-16 05:13:43 PM  
I did like the alternate ending to Shane where he turns and waves to the kid saying "I am all right"
 
2014-06-16 05:16:19 PM  

Saiga410: I did like the alternate ending to Shane Old Yeller where he turns and waves to the kid saying "I am all right"

 
2014-06-16 05:16:20 PM  
I think Mr. and Mrs. Smith should have ended like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
 
2014-06-16 05:17:00 PM  

1. Put snakes on plane: Huh, didn't expect a discussion on Asimov by people who have apparently never read his stories.

Little Lost Robot

had one that violated the 3 Laws, but that was about it. I, Robot was only slightly more faithful to its source material than Lawnmower Man was...
 
2014-06-16 05:20:16 PM  

bhcompy: The alternate ending of The Abyss is far superior to the theatrical ending


Well it was derivative of as The Day the Earth Stood still and the Star Trek episode "The Day of he Dove", where the aliens tell the humans that they're dicks and if they don't stop going to war that the aliens would fark them up. Then no one ever accused Cameron of original writing. But at least the alternate ending had a point.
 
2014-06-16 05:20:26 PM  
I kind of liked the one for Mr and Mrs Smith.
 
2014-06-16 05:23:31 PM  

eddievercetti: Holy hell, that photoshopped girl in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.


Hmmm, that could have been some kind of digital placeholder while they decided if they liked the scene or not(I also wonder if they weren't yet sold on the actress). Either way, it was thrown away early. If you notice, the color shifts when they actually switch to just before the girl is shown. That scene hadn't gone through any post processing. I went to a screening of some chick flick as part of a group that gave passes to sneak previews, and that's the same tint the ending they threw away had, whatever the ending was, they never used it, which was good. It was a mildly entertaining movie up until that point. Of course, it wasn't so entertaining that I can remember the movie now...
 
2014-06-16 05:27:27 PM  
There was a deleted scene that was an alternate ending to First Blood where Rambo kills himself. That would have been a better ending but someone must have pointed out that there was a franchise to be made.
 
2014-06-16 05:38:34 PM  

Mugato: There was a deleted scene that was an alternate ending to First Blood where Rambo kills himself. That would have been a better ending but someone must have pointed out that there was a franchise to be made.


The scene in question, which is how the novel was written. A movie about a Vietnam vet suffering (what we now call) PTSD, it's an appropriate ending, especially given that "last" conversation he has with his CO.

Works better as a book ending than a movie one, IMO. Maybe because "a major character's death at the end of Reel 3" is so trite these days (and it might not have been then).
 
2014-06-16 05:40:21 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I liked the alternate ending where the Terminator just goes back to where John Connor is six years old and blasts him at recess.  It really cuts down on the running time of the movie.


John Connor was raised entirely off the grid by his mother and didn't attend kindergarden.
 
2014-06-16 05:40:39 PM  
Terminator II only outdid Terminator in one way.

celebrityfitnesstraining.com

In all other ways, it was vastly inferior.
 
2014-06-16 05:41:38 PM  
laughs at the amateurs in the article

www.ooyay.com
 
2014-06-16 05:42:06 PM  

Mikey1969: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

No, I, Robot was bullshiat because it violated the Three Laws. See, an Asimov story shouldn't violate its creator's rules...

As for TFA, most of the time, the original ending is the best, much like most of the time, you don't need the deleted scenes. These people actually DO know what they're doing most of the time. I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes I at least figured out that they wer removed because the movie would have been an epic. They still contributed to the storyline, though, so they would have worked. Otherwise, most deleted scenes and alternate endings actually should stay on the cutting room floor...


There were a couple of deleted scenes from Highlander that 1) made clearer the purpose of the older "secretary" working with Connor, and 2) made the line "It's a kind of magic" more than just a shout-out to the Queen album that contained the film's songs.
 
2014-06-16 05:50:30 PM  
Not really an alternate ending, but the Alan Smithee version of Dune has so long an expository monolog and repetitive dialog (to reiterate what the guy telling the monolog just said) throughout the film so as to be insulting.
 
2014-06-16 05:52:19 PM  
Mikey1969:

I'll give the Terminator ending one credit though: At least they didn't try and make the future look like "The Future!!". They always fark up clothes, cars, and things kids play with, but clothes don't change as drastically as they show in movies, and kids will always enjoy swings and slides. I think that was set in 2027, and I'll be that for the most part playground equipment will be the same.

Yeah, but then the voice-over mentions Michael Jackson and you instantly get an icky feeling and picture him diddling kids.

Also, the most annoying thing about that alternate ending isn't the idea itself, it's the voiceover artist they chose to play Sarah Connor's grand-daughter. From working in post production, I know it's common to get woman to do little kid's (boys and girls) voices. Most of the time it's acceptable, however, In this instance they obviously chose some woman who was a friend of the post production head. She is shiat and over does it, adding in a supposed little girl's giggle that comes across as more creepy than endearing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EarXngYYlw

1m 16s.
 
2014-06-16 06:02:01 PM  

Mugato: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.

Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

Oh fark Asimov. Even today we have robots that kill people and/or allow people to be killed.


Yeah. Like anybody making military robots is going to program them with Asimov's rules.
 
2014-06-16 06:03:18 PM  

Mikey1969: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

No, I, Robot was bullshiat because it violated the Three Laws. See, an Asimov story shouldn't violate its creator's rules...

As for TFA, most of the time, the original ending is the best, much like most of the time, you don't need the deleted scenes. These people actually DO know what they're doing most of the time. I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes I at least figured out that they wer removed because the movie would have been an epic. They still contributed to the storyline, though, so they would have worked. Otherwise, most deleted scenes and alternate endings actually should stay on the cutting room floor...


I always figured that it could have been remade into much better movie.
 
2014-06-16 06:29:04 PM  

Mugato: bhcompy: The alternate ending of The Abyss is far superior to the theatrical ending

Well it was derivative of as The Day the Earth Stood still and the Star Trek episode "The Day of he Dove", where the aliens tell the humans that they're dicks and if they don't stop going to war that the aliens would fark them up. Then no one ever accused Cameron of original writing. But at least the alternate ending had a point.


As if nothing is derivative.  We only have thousands of years of documented storytelling to be derivative of
 
2014-06-16 06:34:28 PM  

GungFu: Mikey1969:

I'll give the Terminator ending one credit though: At least they didn't try and make the future look like "The Future!!". They always fark up clothes, cars, and things kids play with, but clothes don't change as drastically as they show in movies, and kids will always enjoy swings and slides. I think that was set in 2027, and I'll be that for the most part playground equipment will be the same.

Yeah, but then the voice-over mentions Michael Jackson and you instantly get an icky feeling and picture him diddling kids.

Also, the most annoying thing about that alternate ending isn't the idea itself, it's the voiceover artist they chose to play Sarah Connor's grand-daughter. From working in post production, I know it's common to get woman to do little kid's (boys and girls) voices. Most of the time it's acceptable, however, In this instance they obviously chose some woman who was a friend of the post production head. She is shiat and over does it, adding in a supposed little girl's giggle that comes across as more creepy than endearing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EarXngYYlw

1m 16s.


I got the impression from that Mr and Mrs Smith ending that the girl was just there as a digitally inserted placeholder to see if the ending worked. The Terminator one looks finished, but I wonder if it's the same thing, they didn't get a real voice actor because they wern't sure if that was the ending that was going to work?

Just a guess. ..
 
2014-06-16 06:34:32 PM  

ZMugg: Asimov set up the 3 laws and wrote the stories about them (the laws) to show how they wouldn't work



This.  The whole point is simple rules break down in complex situations, because humans are far messier than we care to admit.
 
2014-06-16 06:36:25 PM  

Hebalo: Mikey1969: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

No, I, Robot was bullshiat because it violated the Three Laws. See, an Asimov story shouldn't violate its creator's rules...

As for TFA, most of the time, the original ending is the best, much like most of the time, you don't need the deleted scenes. These people actually DO know what they're doing most of the time. I think the only time that I've seen deleted scenes which would have added to the story was in Zack and Miri Make A Porno, and after an hour of deleted scenes I at least figured out that they wer removed because the movie would have been an epic. They still contributed to the storyline, though, so they would have worked. Otherwise, most deleted scenes and alternate endings actually should stay on the cutting room floor...

There were a couple of deleted scenes from Highlander that 1) made clearer the purpose of the older "secretary" working with Connor, and 2) made the line "It's a kind of magic" more than just a shout-out to the Queen album that contained the film's songs.


I'll have to check that out... Highlander did leave some stuff you either had to fill in yourself or just quit wondering about, and now that I think of it, the secretary was one of those. Thanks, now I have an excuse to buy the DVD. :-)
 
2014-06-16 06:37:10 PM  

rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"


Um since when? When other than an Asimov adaptation has there been a movie where the robots were supposed to comply with Asimov's 3 laws? Not only that, but Asimov specifically wrote about the laws to show that said laws wouldn't freaking work.
 
2014-06-16 06:42:45 PM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: rickythepenguin: Mugato: Every time travel story has different rules about time travel.


Yet everyone excepts Asimov's Laws Of Robotics as canon.

/"[name of movie] was bullshiat, because [name of robot] violated Asimov's [first, second, or third] Law!"

Um since when? When other than an Asimov adaptation has there been a movie where the robots were supposed to comply with Asimov's 3 laws? Not only that, but Asimov specifically wrote about the laws to show that said laws wouldn't freaking work.


Forbidden Planet.
 
2014-06-16 06:44:47 PM  
None of those are the worst alternate endings in movie history.

www.geocities.ws

Not. Even. Close.
 
2014-06-16 06:47:16 PM  

Mikey1969: I'll have to check that out... Highlander did leave some stuff you either had to fill in yourself or just quit wondering about, and now that I think of it, the secretary was one of those. Thanks, now I have an excuse to buy the DVD. :-)


Well it's a good film with a great soundtrack by Queen. In the deleted scene the secretary lady was rescued as a young girl by McCloud  in WWII  think. Anyway, it had a lot of cinematography and directorial stuff in it. It also had a lot of Jaws-level horrible sequels.
 
2014-06-16 06:52:14 PM  

Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.


That was my thought as well.  Could have ended it all right there - damn you James Cameron for not going with the alternate ending!
 
2014-06-16 06:54:26 PM  

Captain Steroid: None of those are the worst alternate endings in movie history.

[www.geocities.ws image 400x225]

Not. Even. Close.


Alternate, not altered.
 
2014-06-16 06:54:53 PM  

Captain Steroid: None of those are the worst alternate endings in movie history.

[www.geocities.ws image 400x225]

Not. Even. Close.


I'm going to take the unpopular view on that. After seeing the prequels, we know what Anakin looked like when he "died". He looked like the Leonardo DiCaprio dude. Or he looked like a head and a torso. He never looked like the guy from Return of the Jedi. So turning up as Leo ghost makes sense. There's a lot of special edition bullshiat that sucks but that actually makes sense.
 
2014-06-16 07:00:21 PM  

karmachameleon: Mugato: shiatty old-age makeup aside, the ending where Judgement Day is prevented would have preferable. At least there wouldn't be any more sequels.

That was my thought as well.  Could have ended it all right there - damn you James Cameron for not going with the alternate ending!


Phooey. Terminator 3 is a better movie than T2. Edward Furlong's cheeseball 90s brat act has not aged well, and the whole "Terminator as daddy/best pal" angle was LAME.

At least T3 had the balls to end without a paradox. T2 ended in such a way as to make it impossible for John to exist in the first place.
 
2014-06-16 07:00:54 PM  

Mugato: Captain Steroid: None of those are the worst alternate endings in movie history.

[www.geocities.ws image 400x225]

Not. Even. Close.

I'm going to take the unpopular view on that. After seeing the prequels, we know what Anakin looked like when he "died". He looked like the Leonardo DiCaprio dude. Or he looked like a head and a torso. He never looked like the guy from Return of the Jedi. So turning up as Leo ghost makes sense. There's a lot of special edition bullshiat that sucks but that actually makes sense.


wat

I'm missing a joke about famous, dead, white, men, artists from Europe + last name with a "C" in it. Or did you accidentally his name?
 
2014-06-16 07:01:14 PM  

Flappyhead: Captain Steroid: None of those are the worst alternate endings in movie history.

[www.geocities.ws image 400x225]

Not. Even. Close.

Alternate, not altered.


Yes, the actual alternative ending would have had Lando and the Millenium Falcon getting blown up with Death Star II.
 
2014-06-16 07:05:52 PM  
I followed the link they had to "alternate endings that were better than the original". First one on the list was "I Am Legend". Doesn't matter which ending they used...BOTH of them deserve to be in worst alternate ending ever. The book's ending was vastly superior.
 
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