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(Daily Mail)   "Sup, man. How are the Grizzlies doing this season. Mind if I grab a beer? Yes, I promise not to eviscerate you"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 26
    More: Interesting  
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6793 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2014 at 6:30 PM (6 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-16 05:35:48 PM
See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?
 
2014-06-16 06:37:49 PM

SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?



http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-s uc king-my-cock,11150/
 
2014-06-16 06:38:59 PM

SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?


What about bathing in a mountain stream? Perhaps if he wore some intimidating undergarments...?
 
2014-06-16 06:39:06 PM
Well, rivers are the new bath houses.
 
2014-06-16 06:43:52 PM
How 'bout dem Bears?
 
2014-06-16 06:45:18 PM

Jeng: SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?


http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-s uc king-my-cock,11150/




From the makers of "Thanks, Smokey"
Zoochosis Presents: Bears
 
2014-06-16 06:46:35 PM
Good thing he didn't mention how the Bruins' season ended.
 
2014-06-16 06:46:46 PM
Guy films a 1400 lb bear walking within 3 feet of him, steady camera.

Facebook friend films kid blowing out birthday candles, shaky camera.

You can't explain that.
 
2014-06-16 06:49:18 PM

caddisfly: Guy films a 1400 lb bear walking within 3 feet of him, steady camera.

Facebook friend films kid blowing out birthday candles, shaky camera.

You can't explain that.


Frozen by fear?
 
2014-06-16 06:52:23 PM

Prey4reign: caddisfly: Guy films a 1400 lb bear walking within 3 feet of him, steady camera.

Facebook friend films kid blowing out birthday candles, shaky camera.

You can't explain that.

Frozen by fear?


What makes it more impressive is that he's gotta be farking surging with adrenaline, making it even harder to not shake.
 
2014-06-16 06:55:04 PM

Jeng: SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?


http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-s uc king-my-cock,11150/


classic article. I subbed out "homosexuals" with "bears" when reading this time to make more relevant to this topic and it works just fine. In fact, better.
 
2014-06-16 07:01:04 PM

SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?


"You're not here for the hunting, are you."
 
2014-06-16 07:04:30 PM

sillydragon: SmackLT: See, I don't like this at all. First we have evidence that bears perform oral sex on each other, now here's this guy, just out in the wilderness, trying to be alone, and this bear comes up next to him, pretends that it's just checking out the river, but you can tell by the way it's panting and licking its lips that the bear is looking for a little action.

Can't a dude just go camping anymore without being interrupted by bears trying to blow him? Just once?

What about bathing in a mountain stream? Perhaps if he wore some intimidating undergarments...?


Like this?
 
2014-06-16 07:24:18 PM
Never had a "close encounter" with a bear. Know why? I know where bears live and eat; I don't f*cking go camping there.
 
2014-06-16 07:27:37 PM

caddisfly: Guy films a 1400 lb bear walking within 3 feet of him, steady camera.

Facebook friend films kid blowing out birthday candles, shaky camera.

You can't explain that.


When you have a bear the size of a car three feet from you, you make no sudden moves.
 
2014-06-16 07:30:17 PM
Emposter:
What makes it more impressive is that he's gotta be farking surging with adrenaline, making it even harder to not shake.

Maybe.

A lot of people (myself included) can get eerily calm and tranquil when in moments of deep shiat.  Kinda like "fighter pilot voice".

However, five minutes after it's all over, it will be Shakey McShakerson.
 
2014-06-16 07:38:34 PM
see that bear yawn?
nearly big enough to fit said videographer's twin brassies
 
2014-06-16 07:46:29 PM
And of course this little classic.

http://www.outdooroddities.com/2008/07/23/grizzly-bear-warning-sign/

Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the B.C. Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and any persons that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any bears that might be close by so you don't take them by surprise.
We also advise anyone using the out-f-doors to carry "Pepper Spray" with him is case of an encounter with a bear.
Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear feces.  Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.  Grizzly bear shiat has bells in it and smells like pepper.
 
2014-06-16 08:04:58 PM
You can roam with the grizzly's for 13 frickin years, but get eaten one fricking time,, all of the sudden they're dangerous?
 
2014-06-16 08:18:27 PM
Uh, bedding down near food so her cubs have chow handy?
 
2014-06-16 08:25:21 PM
When you tell his wife
Refrain from using the word
Eviscerated

www.litkicks.com
 
2014-06-16 08:27:18 PM
Grizzlies and Brown bears really aren't that dangerous if you know how to act around them.  Just read some articles by Timothy Treadwell.  That guy practically IS a bear.
 
2014-06-16 10:30:09 PM
This is the second close encounter with a bear story I've heard today. Here was the first: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/16/bear-chases-runners_n_549827 2 .html

That being said, I feel it obligatory to post this.

Stuff White People Like: #128 Camping

If you find yourself trapped in the middle of the woods without electricity, running water, or a car you would likely describe that situation as a "nightmare" or "a worse case scenario like after plane crash or something." White people refer to it as "camping."

[...] Unless you are in some sort of position where you absolutely need the friendship of a white person, you should avoid camping at all costs.

[...] Ultimately the best way to escape a camping trip with white people is to say that you have allergies. Since white people and their children are allergic to almost everything, they will understand and ask no further questions.
 
2014-06-16 10:55:12 PM
Oblig:

static.fjcdn.comi.chzbgr.comwww.forexfactory.com
 
2014-06-17 10:19:37 AM
Not as scary or as close as http://youtu.be/8jRTrRxamxQ
 
2014-06-17 07:14:20 PM
Stanley Elkin and Rafi Zabor unavailable for comment.  Pity.
 
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