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(Bay News 9)   Yo' cousin's so fat he stores all of his marijuana in his stomach fat rolls. No, seriously   (baynews9.com) divider line 36
    More: Florida  
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5035 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2014 at 12:28 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-15 09:38:29 PM  
Right next to his Cheetos, Ding-Dongs, and Twinkies.

/amirite?
 
2014-06-15 10:22:42 PM  
The Notorious G.U.T.?
 
2014-06-15 11:38:49 PM  
Oh no, they busted Huell!
 
2014-06-16 12:31:09 AM  
Let's roll up a fatty!
 
2014-06-16 12:32:16 AM  
Is it me or does a disproportionate number of these "Florida Tag" stories happen in Volusia County?
 
2014-06-16 12:33:25 AM  
Well, that doesn't seem very nice. He has some weight issues, but can't we withhold such judgement? That doesn't make him a bad person. Judgemental dick.
 
2014-06-16 12:35:38 AM  

Mrtraveler01: Volusia County


Pasco County has got all of them beat.
 
2014-06-16 12:36:32 AM  
Well... Less gross than finding in baggies up his butt, I guess.
 
2014-06-16 12:37:26 AM  
 I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat, I mean he got a weight problem. What's the guy gonna do? He's Samoan. Floridian.
 
2014-06-16 12:38:22 AM  

strangeluck: Well... Less gross than finding in baggies up his butt, I guess.


Or something else
 
2014-06-16 12:42:09 AM  
"....displace crime...."

Hmmm......
 
2014-06-16 12:43:06 AM  

strangeluck: Well... Less gross than finding in baggies up his butt, I guess.


They don't call it skunkweed for nothin.
 
2014-06-16 12:47:17 AM  

mr lawson: Mrtraveler01: Volusia County

Pasco County has got all of them beat.


They got some tough competition though. Volusia County has this guy as well as the woman who shot herself in the leg trying to put her gun away.

Pasco County needs to up their game.
 
2014-06-16 12:51:36 AM  
The vehicle's trunk and interior were sprinkled with carper freshener

Sounds fishy.
 
2014-06-16 01:05:23 AM  

mr lawson: Mrtraveler01: Volusia County

Pasco County has got all of them beat.


Polk county seems to come up a lot as well.
 
2014-06-16 01:08:52 AM  
www.lunatim.com
 
2014-06-16 01:10:49 AM  
Is that like the story making the rounds several years ago about that guy whose doctor's found a turkey sandwich in a fold of his belly fat?  WARNING. LINK IS DISGUSTING. LIKE, gorgor DISGUSTING. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
 
2014-06-16 01:16:05 AM  
What's he gonna do? He's Samoan.
 
2014-06-16 01:21:40 AM  

strangeluck: Well... Less gross than finding in baggies up his butt, I guess.


He wouldn't have to put them up his butt, he'd just have to pull the cheeks apart, and they could naturally hold a pound or 2 when released.
 
2014-06-16 01:22:57 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: mr lawson: Mrtraveler01: Volusia County

Pasco County has got all of them beat.

Polk county seems to come up a lot as well.


My confirmation bias says Brevard county. ;)

/went to university in Melbourne, so I tend to notice when Fark stories from the area show up
 
2014-06-16 01:38:21 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Is that like the story making the rounds several years ago about that guy whose doctor's found a turkey sandwich in a fold of his belly fat?  WARNING. LINK IS DISGUSTING. LIKE, gorgor DISGUSTING. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.


He was just waiting for it to forment into wild turkey.
 
2014-06-16 01:38:36 AM  
And finally, monseur, a wafer-thin mint...
 
2014-06-16 01:44:56 AM  
Uh-huh. So the cops pulled the car over because the passenger was not wearing a seat belt while black. Then when the passenger explained he was just too fat to wear the seat belt he was still black, as was the driver (though he was thin enough to wear his seat belt).

The only way to prove race had nothing to do with this stop would be for Volusia County deputies to pull over every car containing somebody who's not wearing a seat belt regardless of the demographic composition of the vehicle's operator and occupants. Which naturally will never happen because then they'd be too busy handling this minor infraction to spend enough time on the important task of "keeping the Negroes in their place."

On the PCH in '87 I got pulled over. What he noticed was the sparks from my seat belt buckle dragging on the pavement; that's what made him realize I'd been speeding through the red light. (He'd been writing a report when he saw the sparks in his peripheral vision.) The facts were too obvious to deny, and anyway it would be just a traffic offense because I wasn't currently carrying anything illegal, so when he told me what he saw I shrugged and said "You got me."

Of course I was a bit nervous, any experience with police will do that (even having to ask directions), but I wasn't about to sit there at 2:30 A.M. on a deserted stretch of highway and be anything but respectful and polite to a CA Highway Patrolman. So instead of penalizing me for speeding and blowing a red light while dragging sparking metal down the road all I got was a ticket for not wearing a seat belt; he didn't even try to search, just asked if I was carrying anything illegal which of course I denied.

Guess what race I'm not. I probably could have been toting coke and, with my properly polite attitude and shining pale skin, gotten away with it. That's just one example: I've been stopped & messed with by the police, but very often I got off easy or was just got let go without being searched because every single time the police noticed me I was obviously of European extraction. Furthermore several times the cop told me he was letting me off because I was not only respectful but furthermore White. One cop on I-40 in Amarillo even told me to just keep standing there hitchhiking and if another cop stopped me tell him Officer [Whatever] already checked me out. Furthermore that time I was carrying a couple joints in my pocket and was a 15 year old escapee from a juvie jail 3000 miles away, and I was too stupid to get rid of the pot just in case. And that was it: about 20 minutes later I got a ride to Las Vegas.

According to 23andme.com I'm of 100% European extraction, which is a wonderful advantage that should be shared more widely. Given that social attitudes are very slow to change, especially among the police (who are most often white), if somebody invents an Instant Race-Changer I'd advise every "non-white" person to consider using it.
 
2014-06-16 02:18:40 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Uh-huh. So the cops pulled the car over because the passenger was not wearing a seat belt while black. Then when the passenger explained he was just too fat to wear the seat belt he was still black, as was the driver (though he was thin enough to wear his seat belt).

The only way to prove race had nothing to do with this stop would be for Volusia County deputies to pull over every car containing somebody who's not wearing a seat belt regardless of the demographic composition of the vehicle's operator and occupants. Which naturally will never happen because then they'd be too busy handling this minor infraction to spend enough time on the important task of "keeping the Negroes in their place."

On the PCH in '87 I got pulled over. What he noticed was the sparks from my seat belt buckle dragging on the pavement; that's what made him realize I'd been speeding through the red light. (He'd been writing a report when he saw the sparks in his peripheral vision.) The facts were too obvious to deny, and anyway it would be just a traffic offense because I wasn't currently carrying anything illegal, so when he told me what he saw I shrugged and said "You got me."

Of course I was a bit nervous, any experience with police will do that (even having to ask directions), but I wasn't about to sit there at 2:30 A.M. on a deserted stretch of highway and be anything but respectful and polite to a CA Highway Patrolman. So instead of penalizing me for speeding and blowing a red light while dragging sparking metal down the road all I got was a ticket for not wearing a seat belt; he didn't even try to search, just asked if I was carrying anything illegal which of course I denied.

Guess what race I'm not. I probably could have been toting coke and, with my properly polite attitude and shining pale skin, gotten away with it. That's just one example: I've been stopped & messed with by the police, but very often I got off easy or was just got let go without being searched because every sing ...


Review "interment camp" policies from Japanese, American, Canadian, German....well, some things are better left unsaid.
 
2014-06-16 02:32:09 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Uh-huh. So the cops pulled the car over because the passenger was not wearing a seat belt while black. Then when the passenger explained he was just too fat to wear the seat belt he was still black, as was the driver (though he was thin enough to wear his seat belt).

The only way to prove race had nothing to do with this stop would be for Volusia County deputies to pull over every car containing somebody who's not wearing a seat belt regardless of the demographic composition of the vehicle's operator and occupants. Which naturally will never happen because then they'd be too busy handling this minor infraction to spend enough time on the important task of "keeping the Negroes in their place."

On the PCH in '87 I got pulled over. What he noticed was the sparks from my seat belt buckle dragging on the pavement; that's what made him realize I'd been speeding through the red light. (He'd been writing a report when he saw the sparks in his peripheral vision.) The facts were too obvious to deny, and anyway it would be just a traffic offense because I wasn't currently carrying anything illegal, so when he told me what he saw I shrugged and said "You got me."

Of course I was a bit nervous, any experience with police will do that (even having to ask directions), but I wasn't about to sit there at 2:30 A.M. on a deserted stretch of highway and be anything but respectful and polite to a CA Highway Patrolman. So instead of penalizing me for speeding and blowing a red light while dragging sparking metal down the road all I got was a ticket for not wearing a seat belt; he didn't even try to search, just asked if I was carrying anything illegal which of course I denied.

Guess what race I'm not. I probably could have been toting coke and, with my properly polite attitude and shining pale skin, gotten away with it. That's just one example: I've been stopped & messed with by the police, but very often I got off easy or was just got let go without being searched because every sing ...


Yea you probly came off like a light weight who wouldn't be doing something so ballsy like transporting drugs, police are trained to look for certain cue's, gesture's, tells and just plain common sense.

If they weren't busted for coke and didn't possess drug money and a poorly modified drug smuggling car, you still wouldn't have a point, I've gotten pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. My sister got a ticket a couple of months ago for no seat belt, and a friend of mine got pulled over and her car searched because it was in a suspected drug area about 5 days ago.

In this case, whatever the officer used as a hunch he got it right.

/by the way, if you change those guys skin tone to anything you want, they still look like crooks.
 
2014-06-16 02:32:31 AM  
www.lunatim.com
 
2014-06-16 02:47:52 AM  

Kinetic King: [www.lunatim.com image 850x478]


What are you doing? Just because this is a weed thread doesn't mean everyone here is stoned.
 
2014-06-16 02:54:34 AM  

fusillade762: Kinetic King: [www.lunatim.com image 850x478]

What are you doing? Just because this is a weed thread doesn't mean everyone here is stoned.


it'sbeautiful.jpg

trippin'balls.jpg
 
2014-06-16 03:32:47 AM  
www.lunatim.com
 
2014-06-16 06:17:40 AM  

Kinetic King: [www.lunatim.com image 850x478]


Getting kind of annoying now.
 
2014-06-16 07:19:08 AM  

sharphead: Kinetic King: [www.lunatim.com image 850x478]

Getting kind of annoying now.


www.lunatim.com
 
2014-06-16 07:58:52 AM  
So the cops busted a gut?
 
2014-06-16 08:01:59 AM  
At some point you let kicked for a day or so because that's spamming some unrelated bullshiat. And for the record I'm bowl in hand, smoke filled lungs stoned, and unamused.
 
2014-06-16 08:24:29 AM  
His mugshot is probably the most bizarre we will see today.
 
2014-06-16 08:33:20 AM  
This is why I simply hide my drugs inside my foreskin. The natural oils keep everything nice and hydrated, the bologna scent enhances any illicit product, and the cops never seem to want to do a close search down there.
 
2014-06-16 09:17:24 AM  
img.fark.net

WOOO
 
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