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(Gizmodo)   Gizmodo writer wonders "Why is toilet paper always white?"   (gizmodo.com) divider line 85
    More: Stupid, Kimberly-Clark, shelf life, septic systems  
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2742 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Jun 2014 at 3:34 PM (6 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-13 02:14:02 PM
It's only white temporarily.
 
2014-06-13 02:16:26 PM
You know the saying...

"If it's all white it's all right."
 
2014-06-13 02:21:59 PM
Hah! I remember the TP at Purdue still having chip marks as you unrolled it. Not dyed at all.

For those after me, I was there when the "fast food rabbit meat" place opened up in the strip mall across from the XXX.

/ yes, I'm very old with a teenage son.
 
2014-06-13 02:33:59 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: You know the saying...

"If it's all white it's all right."


ALLLRIGHT
SHE MOOOOVES
IN MYSTERIOUS WAAAAYS
 
2014-06-13 02:40:44 PM
It's not.
 
2014-06-13 02:44:49 PM
Well ... isn't it so you can tell what color your, uh, "wipings" are?

I mean, I'm just guessing. I'm no doctor, but ... I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express some time ago.
 
2014-06-13 03:23:16 PM
I wasn't always - but we were told that pink and blue toilet paper was bad for you.  I think that was in the late 70s/early 80s.
 
2014-06-13 03:24:38 PM

phlegmmo: It's only white temporarily.


www.cultureblues.com
 
2014-06-13 03:26:36 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: I wasn't always - but we were told that pink and blue toilet paper was bad for you.  I think that was in the late 70s/early 80s.


It was

/and if it stays white, you're doing it wrong
 
2014-06-13 03:34:20 PM
Umm, so you know when you're done wiping?  Duh!
 
2014-06-13 03:39:25 PM
I seem to recall the porta johns in field exercise locations in Germany and in some places in Iraq had grey shiat paper. We called it John Wayne paper because it was rough, tough, and didn't take shiat from no body. Seriously, when you wiped with the stuff it was almost as if it repelled shiat.
 
2014-06-13 03:39:50 PM
It's not uncommon to see bumwad in light pastel colors in the UK.
 
2014-06-13 03:40:28 PM
Try the Eastern European variety - Grey recycled Newsprint etc.  It's like using 80 grit sandpaper!
 
2014-06-13 03:42:42 PM
So you can determine which mean that it is the remains of and perhaps interpret and unusual colors or consistencies that you find.
 
2014-06-13 03:42:48 PM

OdradekRex: Try the Eastern European variety - Grey recycled Newsprint etc.  It's like using 80 grit sandpaper!


sabarton.blog.com
 
2014-06-13 03:45:09 PM
racism
 
2014-06-13 03:47:15 PM
So you can see the blood.
 
2014-06-13 03:48:34 PM
FTFA:  If toilet paper was the original brown hue, on a purely aesthetic level, would you use it?

What kind of stupid question is this?

"Eww, that paper is brown, I'll wipe with my hand instead."
 
2014-06-13 03:49:52 PM

OdradekRex: Try the Eastern European variety - Grey recycled Newsprint etc.  It's like using 80 grit sandpaper!


They must import that stuff for the (non-management) bathrooms here at work.
 
2014-06-13 03:49:58 PM

Ennuipoet: Umm, so you know when you're done wiping?  Duh!


See I don't understand that, I can wipe and wipe away and it never goes back to white, it usually tear up first and then I have to start all over again.  Sometimes I cheat and just scrape it under the rim of the seat.
 
2014-06-13 03:50:56 PM
I use a rabbit.

/do you have problem with crap sticking to your fur?
 
2014-06-13 03:52:27 PM
Is this a trick question?
 
2014-06-13 03:53:16 PM
Contrast.
 
2014-06-13 03:54:52 PM
Because you wouldn't wipe your ass with a paper bag, and the sears catalog makes your silly putty ass look like an ad for big wheels and crossmyheart bras.
 
2014-06-13 03:56:54 PM
Did the writer crib his article word for word from Uncle Cecil?
 
2014-06-13 03:57:26 PM

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: I use a rabbit.

/do you have problem with crap sticking to your fur?


You wipe with a sex toy?
 
2014-06-13 03:58:01 PM
To keep the blind from knowing when to stop wiping.
 
2014-06-13 03:58:40 PM

Dragonflew: They must import that stuff for the (non-management) bathrooms here at work.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-13 04:00:24 PM
To match the toilet.
 
2014-06-13 04:01:13 PM

Ivo Shandor: Dragonflew: They must import that stuff for the (non-management) bathrooms here at work.

[i.imgur.com image 560x617]


It's not that bad, we get the quilted badger's arse.
 
2014-06-13 04:03:00 PM

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: SirDigbyChickenCaesar: I use a rabbit.

/do you have problem with crap sticking to your fur?

You wipe with a sex toy?


no, I do something completely different with that.

/IIRC the ex had the dolphin thing-a-ma-jigger
 
2014-06-13 04:06:08 PM
Oh noes.  Poop thread.
 
2014-06-13 04:08:28 PM
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-13 04:08:37 PM
Dingleberry Dickwad:

I seem to recall the porta johns in field exercise locations in Germany and in some places in Iraq had grey shiat paper. We called it John Wayne paper because it was rough, tough, and didn't take shiat from no body. Seriously, when you wiped with the stuff it was almost as if it repelled shiat.

I think introduced that joke to my elementary school as a child, having heard it from my military father. Except the stuff at my school was the brown kraft-paper like stuff that would take layers of skin off. I'm pretty sure that stuff is still used in institutional bathrooms all over the planet.

I can see where the first half of your name comes from.

Worst toilet paper I've ever experienced was in a very run-down hotel in El Minya, Egypt. It wasn't rough so much as it was like flimsy brown waxed paper. WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT! You'd have to deliberately *WORK* at it to make a more useless wipe!
 
2014-06-13 04:14:01 PM
Colored TP hanging from the trees was a beautiful sight back in the day. Now it's only a boring white color. Anyone that objects to colored TP is a racist.
 
2014-06-13 04:16:04 PM
maxheck: Worst toilet paper I've ever experienced was in a very run-down hotel in El Minya, Egypt. It wasn't rough so much as it was like flimsy brown waxed paper. WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT! You'd have to deliberately *WORK* at it to make a more useless wipe!

Stay away from Russia and other former Soviet nations.
 
2014-06-13 04:20:48 PM

maxheck: Dingleberry Dickwad:

I seem to recall the porta johns in field exercise locations in Germany and in some places in Iraq had grey shiat paper. We called it John Wayne paper because it was rough, tough, and didn't take shiat from no body. Seriously, when you wiped with the stuff it was almost as if it repelled shiat.

I think introduced that joke to my elementary school as a child, having heard it from my military father. Except the stuff at my school was the brown kraft-paper like stuff that would take layers of skin off. I'm pretty sure that stuff is still used in institutional bathrooms all over the planet.

I can see where the first half of your name comes from.

Worst toilet paper I've ever experienced was in a very run-down hotel in El Minya, Egypt. It wasn't rough so much as it was like flimsy brown waxed paper. WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT! You'd have to deliberately *WORK* at it to make a more useless wipe!


It's egypt.  They expect you to use your left hand
 
2014-06-13 04:26:54 PM

Ed Grubermann: maxheck: Worst toilet paper I've ever experienced was in a very run-down hotel in El Minya, Egypt. It wasn't rough so much as it was like flimsy brown waxed paper. WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT! You'd have to deliberately *WORK* at it to make a more useless wipe!

Stay away from Russia and other former Soviet nations.


Given that this was back when there was a Soviet Union that gave a lot of aid to Egypt, it would not surprise me if there was some sort of cache of 1,000,000 rolls tof Soviet Victory Paper that ended up on the black market...

But Dear Sweet FSM it was bad paper.
 
2014-06-13 04:28:51 PM
Reverse racism.
 
2014-06-13 04:29:33 PM

BumpInTheNight: Ennuipoet: Umm, so you know when you're done wiping?  Duh!

See I don't understand that, I can wipe and wipe away and it never goes back to white, it usually tear up first and then I have to start all over again.  Sometimes I cheat and just scrape it under the rim of the seat.


Try using more than one sheet next time.

/wipe, toss
/repeat until white
 
2014-06-13 04:34:15 PM
Smeggy Smurf:

maxheck: Dingleberry Dickwad:

I seem to recall the porta johns in field exercise locations in Germany and in some places in Iraq had grey shiat paper. We called it John Wayne paper because it was rough, tough, and didn't take shiat from no body. Seriously, when you wiped with the stuff it was almost as if it repelled shiat.

I think introduced that joke to my elementary school as a child, having heard it from my military father. Except the stuff at my school was the brown kraft-paper like stuff that would take layers of skin off. I'm pretty sure that stuff is still used in institutional bathrooms all over the planet.

I can see where the first half of your name comes from.

Worst toilet paper I've ever experienced was in a very run-down hotel in El Minya, Egypt. It wasn't rough so much as it was like flimsy brown waxed paper. WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE TOILET PAPER LIKE THAT! You'd have to deliberately *WORK* at it to make a more useless wipe!

It's egypt. They expect you to use your left hand


Pretty sure the proprietor was French, but do go on...
 
2014-06-13 04:39:27 PM
www.dramafever.com

/Hello Shiatty
 
2014-06-13 04:39:42 PM
pb-i4.s3.amazonaws.com
In the old days they used the white ones to see how many more red ones were required. We're more civilized now. ;p
 
2014-06-13 04:47:18 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: So you can see the blood.


You can get surgery for your hemorrhoids, you know.
 
2014-06-13 04:49:31 PM
because brown was already taken ?
 
2014-06-13 04:49:33 PM

exvaxman: For those after me, I was there when the "fast food rabbit meat" place opened up in the strip mall across from the XXX.


The Hop-Scotch? Always disappointed that it wasn't marinated in actual scotch. Then again, whenever I was in that area I always wanted a Duane Purvis Burger.
 
2014-06-13 04:54:04 PM

mutterfark: In the old days they used the white ones to see how many more red ones were required. We're more civilized now. ;p


I, for one, am very, very glad I've never had to use a four-holer *or* corncobs.

Proper sanitation and indoor toilets rock.
 
2014-06-13 04:54:30 PM
What's so special about toilet paper?

It's scratch-n-sniff.
 
2014-06-13 04:55:37 PM

sendtodave: Because People in power are Stupid: So you can see the blood.

You can get surgery for your hemorrhoids, you know.


Usually false.  Most hemorrhoid surgeries are considered more dangerous than having hemorrhoids.  More up to date gastroenterologists/proctologists will not recommend them unless the problem is incredibly severe.  Small amounts of blood occasionally do not rise to this level.

/knew this from experience
//they finally agreed when it got severe enough
///those were some shiatty years!
 
2014-06-13 04:55:44 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: So you can see the blood.


That was my thought.   But unless it is that really low quality workplace variety, there usually is no blood.   The stuff at my office is a bit abrasive.
 
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