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(WFTV Orlando)   "Well-dressed" man walks up to women in stores and tells them he's a doctor, then gives them a breast exam. Apparently in the South, "well-dressed" means a shirt and tie   (wftv.com) divider line 78
    More: Florida  
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5345 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2014 at 9:30 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-13 08:32:43 AM  
Every girl crazy 'bout a well-dressed man.
 
2014-06-13 08:36:47 AM  
I'm calling it right now:  that dude is a preacher who's gone around the bend.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-06-13 08:42:32 AM  
Well dressed in the South means a shirt and shoes that have laces.
 
2014-06-13 09:07:58 AM  

Lucky LaRue: I'm calling it right now:  that dude is a preacher who's gone around the bend.


That's no way to talk about Father Fondlemounds
 
2014-06-13 09:32:24 AM  
Well it's not like you really want to wear a suit coat when it's in the 90s and humid as fark.
 
2014-06-13 09:32:55 AM  
Time has not been kind to Ashton Kutcher.
 
2014-06-13 09:33:44 AM  

vpb: Well dressed in the South means a shirt and shoes that have laces.


FTFY
 
2014-06-13 09:34:27 AM  
It is hot down here.  A shirt and tie are brutal when the weather gets hot and humid.
 
2014-06-13 09:35:50 AM  
If this ain't well dressed then I don't know what is:

www.tshirtbooth.com
 
2014-06-13 09:38:20 AM  
But was he wearing pants??
 
2014-06-13 09:40:03 AM  
Oh Florida,You are so so adorable. May your adorableness never fade.

/Snort
 
2014-06-13 09:40:03 AM  
He looks like he could be mid-40s. How the hell do you get up one morning and decide "you know what, today I'm going to impersonate a doctor and grab me some titties"
 
2014-06-13 09:40:24 AM  

rev. dave: It is hot down here.  A shirt and tie are brutal when the weather gets hot and humid.


Not yet it ain't
 
2014-06-13 09:40:40 AM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-13 09:42:58 AM  

big pig peaches: He looks like he could be mid-40s. How the hell do you get up one morning and decide "you know what, today I'm going to impersonate a doctor and grab me some titties"


More like 60s.

I suppose he could be off his rocker and imagines that women will just allow him to do it and not complain to anyone.
 
2014-06-13 09:43:48 AM  
... it means that everywhere, even in eastern countries. There's not a hell of a lot of formal clothing options for men, or clothing options period if we're getting into it.
 
2014-06-13 09:44:44 AM  
Dammit dad.  Wait until Sunday.
 
2014-06-13 09:46:13 AM  
No shirt, no shoes, no fondling.
 
2014-06-13 09:47:20 AM  

Animatronik: big pig peaches: He looks like he could be mid-40s. How the hell do you get up one morning and decide "you know what, today I'm going to impersonate a doctor and grab me some titties"

More like 60s.

I suppose he could be off his rocker and imagines that women will just allow him to do it and not complain to anyone.


Or chances are he's done this before, a little more subtly, and it worked.  He's just upping his game.
 
2014-06-13 09:47:46 AM  
Did he grope them and they felt stupid afterwards, or did actually attack them like a mad man tearing at their chest?  If we are going to charge men with sexual assault every time they lie to touch boobs, we're all doomed men.  Eventually all the straight men will end up in jail, and only the women and gay men will be left free.

/excuse me, I think a bug is about to fly down my wife's shirt and since she didn't see it she'll need my help to get it out.
 
2014-06-13 09:49:53 AM  
Well dressed in the US means wearing your best sweat pants.
 
2014-06-13 09:49:57 AM  

croesius: If this ain't well dressed then I don't know what is:

[www.tshirtbooth.com image 377x354]


Jesus?
 
2014-06-13 09:52:31 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Well dressed in the US means wearing your best sweat pants.


www.jeffisgod.com
 
2014-06-13 09:54:24 AM  
Pretty sure in San Antonio a tie is considered formal, no one wears suits here
 
2014-06-13 09:54:54 AM  
Yeah, we Southerners could learn a lot about how to dress from you Northerners....

thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-13 09:56:27 AM  
I dunno where subby lives, but in Real America™, standard dress is an oversized T-shirt, cargo shorts or jeans, ball cap and crocs or flip flops. Anything fancier than that is well-dressed.

/Also, 40 pounds overweight
 
2014-06-13 09:57:27 AM  
Well dressed in the South means not black.
 
2014-06-13 09:58:24 AM  
Could have been worse

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-13 10:00:37 AM  
Pants too, surely.
 
2014-06-13 10:02:00 AM  

beachdude: Yeah, we Southerners could learn a lot about how to dress from you Northerners....

[thechive.files.wordpress.com image 500x373]



I'm digging the chill motherfarker with the recliner.
 
2014-06-13 10:05:19 AM  

macadamnut: Well dressed in the South means not black.


Oh, fark off. The South is where black people live. Yankees think they're all fancy because they have a few black ghetto neighborhoods in their cities, but in the South, white and black folks actually live and work together. Atlanta, f'rinstance, is a lot less segregated than Chicago or New York. The No. 1 most racially segregated city in America? Los Angeles. No. 2 is Boston. The only "Southern" city in the top 10 is Miami.

As a Whitey McWhiterson, I've been a racial minority where I live since the mid-'80s, and like a lot of Southerners, I'm totally cool with that.
 
2014-06-13 10:05:42 AM  

LazyMedia: I dunno where subby lives, but in Real America™, standard dress is an oversized T-shirt, cargo shorts or jeans, ball cap and crocs or flip flops. Anything fancier than that is well-dressed.

/Also, 40 pounds overweight


This. I usually wear a tie to work; I don't have to, but I think it looks nice and I grew up thinking that's what men do.

Oh, and they do make summer suits that are lighter and breathe better than regular suits. If you are willing to spend a few bucks, dress clothes can be very comfortable.

Just please, PLEASE, don't go with the latest trend of suit-shorts. It looks goofy:

http://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/fashion/shin-city-the-shorts-sui t- comes-to-town-8440572.html
 
2014-06-13 10:06:22 AM  
In fairness, he's also wearing suit-pants in that picture rather than slack, it looks like.

But yeah, that tie... I dunno what to say about that madness.
 
2014-06-13 10:09:12 AM  

beachdude: Yeah, we Southerners could learn a lot about how to dress from you Northerners....

[thechive.files.wordpress.com image 500x373]


WTF
 
2014-06-13 10:09:30 AM  
Fark headline: "Well-dressed" man walks up to women in stores and tells them he's a doctor, then gives them a breast exam.

FTA: Victims said he walked up to them, claiming to be a doctor, but then attacks them.

Gawd damn, that ain't the same thing. That ain't even in the same zip code. Subby should be forced to undergo a "prostate exam" in prison.
 
2014-06-13 10:11:39 AM  

Marquis de Sod: Could have been worse

[img.fark.net image 375x162]


Thank you.
 
2014-06-13 10:13:47 AM  
Florida is not the south.
The north took it from us about 30 years ago.
Almost all of the southerners left.
 
2014-06-13 10:17:49 AM  

tiggis: Florida is not the south.
The north took it from us about 30 years ago.
Almost all of the southerners left.


South Florida is definitely Northern, now. North Florida is still the South, though.
 
2014-06-13 10:20:06 AM  

LazyMedia: macadamnut: Well dressed in the South means not black.

Oh, fark off. The South is where black people live. Yankees think they're all fancy because they have a few black ghetto neighborhoods in their cities, but in the South, white and black folks actually live and work together. Atlanta, f'rinstance, is a lot less segregated than Chicago or New York. The No. 1 most racially segregated city in America? Los Angeles. No. 2 is Boston. The only "Southern" city in the top 10 is Miami.

As a Whitey McWhiterson, I've been a racial minority where I live since the mid-'80s, and like a lot of Southerners, I'm totally cool with that.


Assuming you are a southerner you should stop typin' all smart like and get back to the dumb cause you're upsettin folk.
 
2014-06-13 10:21:46 AM  
Everyone assumed he was a medical doctor, but maybe he has a Ph.D.

/in Psychology.
 
2014-06-13 10:22:14 AM  
Dress professionally... good advice for when one goes molesting in finer establishments.

From the picture, I'm gonna guess what he's thinking...
He's a guy of a certain age. He lost his job about five years ago, and given his lack of success since, it has just now hit him that he will probably never work again. He's not prepared for anything resembling a comfortable retirement. Maybe he's flat broke and staring down more unsecured debt than his future social security checks will ever cover. So he says to himself, "F--- it. I'm gonna have as much harmless fun as a man can have before he's carted off to the pokey."
 
2014-06-13 10:22:57 AM  
This is certainly a new way of dating in the south.
 
2014-06-13 10:23:21 AM  

tiggis: Florida is not the south.
The north took it from us about 30 years ago.
Almost all of the southerners left.


By Florida, I assume you mean the areas around the beaches and Orlando? Because the rest of the state is pretty much redneck as fark.
 
2014-06-13 10:24:00 AM  

tiggis: Florida is not the south.
The north took it from us about 30 years ago.
Almost all of the southerners left.


One of the best comebacks I ever heard was during the flag debate in Georgia, when some idiot was defending how "Southerners" loved their battle flag, and a black legislator whose family roots go back to slavery asked, "Am I not a Southerner?"

/Liberty City, yo.
 
2014-06-13 10:24:26 AM  

big pig peaches: How the hell do you get up one morning and decide "you know what, today I'm going to impersonate a doctor and grab me some titties"


What makes you assume he's NOT a doctor?
 
2014-06-13 10:25:29 AM  
No suit
Shirt, tie:
And he don't need a reason why-y-y.
Suit pants
Some shoes
(Some shoes)
And I suspect a drop or two of booze.
They go blabbin' just as fast as they can --
'Cause every girl's leery of the tit squeeze man!
 
2014-06-13 10:25:44 AM  
I'm going to have to up my game. Here is my new outfit:
www.mallatts.com
 
2014-06-13 10:28:12 AM  

lack of warmth: Did he grope them and they felt stupid afterwards, or did actually attack them like a mad man tearing at their chest?  If we are going to charge men with sexual assault every time they lie to touch boobs, we're all doomed men.  Eventually all the straight men will end up in jail, and only the women and gay men will be left free.

/excuse me, I think a bug is about to fly down my wife's shirt and since she didn't see it she'll need my help to get it out.


I have yet to meet a random woman who would not consider breast groping to be an assault. Although I haven't tested the idea to be certain.

Your wife is different, that's why she's your wife.
 
2014-06-13 10:29:58 AM  
So it can be assumed that women in Florida have nice Tits and are not too bright. Hmmmm, sounds like most blonds to me.
 
2014-06-13 10:30:56 AM  
Surveillance images show the man dresses professionally.

They have videos of professionals dressing him? Were there diapers involved? Could that be what set him off.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
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