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(RamblingBeachCat.com)   Stupid: Woman steals lobster tails by shoving them down her pants. Farking Stupid: ...to trade for painkillers. Florida Stupid: ....or Chinese food   (ramblingbeachcat.com) divider line 32
    More: Florida  
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1698 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2014 at 10:25 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-13 09:28:36 AM  
I can only imagine that violates several different Kosher laws.
 
2014-06-13 10:24:03 AM  
GETTIN' SOME TAIL!!! I guess
 
2014-06-13 10:29:54 AM  
You anti-pants jackanapes from the pants thread yesterday sure got egg on your face now.
 
2014-06-13 10:30:21 AM  
"Authorities noticed something was amiss when the woman's natural odor became decidedly less fishy."
 
2014-06-13 10:31:11 AM  
Hey, some people want quantity over quality.
 
2014-06-13 10:34:37 AM  
I can't believe it's not butter!
 
2014-06-13 10:38:55 AM  
Actually, Chinese food sounds really good for lunch now.  Not the lobster though.
 
2014-06-13 10:43:44 AM  
Jameis Winston nods approvingly.
 
2014-06-13 10:53:47 AM  
Had to laugh at the caption for the mugshot. "She does not believe in miracles".
 
2014-06-13 11:00:16 AM  
Lobster tails, how do they work?
 
2014-06-13 11:00:51 AM  
FTA:

 I eventually found her Facebook page, where Nichole lists her occupation as 'eating them' at The Dark Carnival....which is the annual gathering of Juggalos...which actually causes all of this to make a lot more sense.

Indeed.
 
2014-06-13 11:01:58 AM  
...or are you happy to see me?
 
2014-06-13 11:16:25 AM  

Heatseeker: Lobster tails, how do they work?


Apparently, in this case, a lot like whale tails.
 
2014-06-13 11:28:22 AM  

Diogenes: I can only imagine that violates several different Kosher laws.


If the entryee is already full of crabs, what difference does it make if there's lobster on top?
 
2014-06-13 11:29:54 AM  
Tuna-flavored lobster tails?
 
2014-06-13 12:21:49 PM  
I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?
 
2014-06-13 12:36:49 PM  
Great, now the lobster tails smell like fish....
 
2014-06-13 12:47:50 PM  
Men have a distinct genital odor, just as women do.

The reason we don't make constant jokes about how men's genitalia smells is because they are usually not the target.

I dated a man who was very clean and hygienic. But when I pulled those silk boxer shorts down for a BJ, boy howdy! Men have as much if not more smell- they simply aren't discussed as often because they are not THE sexual objects.
 
2014-06-13 01:06:13 PM  

firemanbuck: Great, now the lobster tails smell like fish....


No offense to you - the ole "pussy smells like fish" comment is ALWAYS totes funny!
 
2014-06-13 01:29:13 PM  

Witness99: firemanbuck: Great, now the lobster tails smell like fish....

No offense to you - the ole "pussy smells like fish" comment is ALWAYS totes funny!


Well, your mom's smells like fish, but I don't find it funny.

/when I bang her
//your mom
///see what I did there?
 
2014-06-13 02:37:20 PM  

Witness99: Men have a distinct genital odor, just as women do.


Dick may smell like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know because I'll never suck the filthy motherfarker.

[...]

I dated a man who was very clean and hygienic. But when I pulled those silk boxer shorts down for a BJ, boy howdy!


How YOU doin'?
 
2014-06-13 03:19:22 PM  
Stealing seven lobster tails, really? That's just plain shellfish!!
 
2014-06-13 03:24:26 PM  

HisBoyLeroy: Stealing seven lobster tails, really? That's just plain shellfish!!


Ya gotta admit, she had some crust, Asian.
 
2014-06-13 03:44:40 PM  

Diogenes: I can only imagine that violates several different Kosher laws.


True, but you just haven't really lived until you've had the Meth-head Crotch Lobster (#7) on the menu. C'mon, I know you're a foodie.

/And now I have a B-52s song in my head.
 
2014-06-13 04:18:57 PM  

WordyGrrl: Diogenes: I can only imagine that violates several different Kosher laws.

True, but you just haven't really lived until you've had the Meth-head Crotch Lobster (#7) on the menu. C'mon, I know you're a foodie.

/And now I have a B-52s song in my head.


...in a giant clam!
 
2014-06-13 04:28:58 PM  

Witness99: Men have a distinct genital odor, just as women do.

The reason we don't make constant jokes about how men's genitalia smells is because they are usually not the target.

I dated a man who was very clean and hygienic. But when I pulled those silk boxer shorts down for a BJ, boy howdy! Men have as much if not more smell- they simply aren't discussed as often because they are not THE sexual objects.


Smegma.
 
2014-06-13 08:36:44 PM  

kling_klang_bed: I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?


If only she played for Florida State and had just walked out with them in her hands in plain sight she would have gotten away with it like Rapis Winston.
 
2014-06-13 08:55:04 PM  

OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?

If only she played for Florida State and had just walked out with them in her hands in plain sight she would have gotten away with it like Rapis Winston.


Not familiar with that one, but I'll look it up.
 
2014-06-13 11:29:51 PM  

kling_klang_bed: OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?

If only she played for Florida State and had just walked out with them in her hands in plain sight she would have gotten away with it like Rapis Winston.

Not familiar with that one, but I'll look it up.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/15/jameis-winston-video-crab-l eg s_n_5333024.html
 
2014-06-14 12:29:29 AM  

OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?

If only she played for Florida State and had just walked out with them in her hands in plain sight she would have gotten away with it like Rapis Winston.

Not familiar with that one, but I'll look it up.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/15/jameis-winston-video-crab-l eg s_n_5333024.html


Lol, separated at birth?
 
2014-06-14 12:53:37 AM  

kling_klang_bed: OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: OhioUGrad: kling_klang_bed: I refer to her theft as "daring" because she did it in full view of Publix employees and Publix security cameras...which gives us the chance to watch the crime (and marvel at an over-sized pair of jean shorts) in the embedded video below.

As in daring everyone to catch her doing something right in front of them?

If only she played for Florida State and had just walked out with them in her hands in plain sight she would have gotten away with it like Rapis Winston.

Not familiar with that one, but I'll look it up.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/15/jameis-winston-video-crab-l eg s_n_5333024.html

Lol, separated at birth?


They should get married and have a seafood buffet catered by Publix.
 
2014-06-14 09:24:10 AM  

Heatseeker: WordyGrrl: Diogenes: I can only imagine that violates several different Kosher laws.

True, but you just haven't really lived until you've had the Meth-head Crotch Lobster (#7) on the menu. C'mon, I know you're a foodie.

/And now I have a B-52s song in my head.

...in a giant clam!


Motion in the ocean.
 
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