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(Pajiba)   Tobey Maguire is not only a poor loser, he's also a psychotic douche   (pajiba.com) divider line 128
    More: Scary  
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14955 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jun 2014 at 3:22 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



128 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-12 01:01:52 PM
"Bark like a seal who wants a fish," he said.
I laughed again, stalling, hoping he would play the joke out by himself and leave.
"I'm not kidding. What's wrong? You're too rich now? You won't bark for a thousand dollars? Wowwww ... you must be really rich."


Man, someone should have punched that little fark right in the face.
 
2014-06-12 01:15:31 PM
Tobey Maguire, on the other hand, not so much. He seems to be akin to the villain of the novel: A controlling dick who won the most money and left the smallest tips.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-12 01:31:07 PM
Yeah. He's got a history of being a gambling addict.
 
2014-06-12 02:12:25 PM
"NO! YOU ARE!"
catchmycar.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-12 02:31:00 PM
It's not that he's a sore loser. It's that every time he wins, goes into this routine where he dances around the entire place on top of tables and chairs. It's just embarrassing to watch.
 
2014-06-12 03:28:37 PM

Walker: "NO! YOU ARE!"
[catchmycar.files.wordpress.com image 450x536]


I CAN'T GET THROUGH THE GATE, THE GATE IS TOO NARROW!
 
2014-06-12 03:29:35 PM
Good to know...totally not inviting him over for game night.
 
2014-06-12 03:30:22 PM
media.giphy.com
 
2014-06-12 03:33:01 PM
douchery triumphs when good men who do nothing.
 
2014-06-12 03:33:25 PM
Someone's mad:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-12 03:35:15 PM
Why even let him into the game?
 
2014-06-12 03:36:18 PM
Huh. That's... unexpected.
 
2014-06-12 03:39:03 PM

MadMonk: Why even let him into the game?


Yes, one would think fewer other celebrities showing up in their interest of avoiding him would outweigh the house's cut of bringing in one Tobey.
 
2014-06-12 03:39:09 PM
Wasn't he part of a pack of celebrity men that would show up to Hollywood nightclubs, calling themselves, "The P*ssy Posse?". Always thought that was weird.
 
2014-06-12 03:42:02 PM
Are we supposed to feel bad for this woman?
 
2014-06-12 03:43:03 PM
www.deliberationroom.com
Baaaark like a dog, I'll show you the meaning of the word respect.
/you're a traaaaaaamp!
 
2014-06-12 03:43:04 PM
Well, anything's better than emo Peter Parker.
 
2014-06-12 03:50:28 PM

Bathysphere: Wasn't he part of a pack of celebrity men that would show up to Hollywood nightclubs, calling themselves, "The P*ssy Posse?". Always thought that was weird.


Yeah, he was the pussy.
 
2014-06-12 03:50:42 PM
Anybody else think that Maguire would get beaten to within an inch of his life if he tried that crap at any regular, non-celebrity table we've all been to at one time or another?
 
2014-06-12 03:50:44 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Are we supposed to feel bad for this woman?


That was kinda my thought too....she's running an illegal, high stakes gambling house, specifically catering to rich, entitled assholes and she's surprised that they sometimes act like rich, entitled assholes?

Everybody in the story should be dropped off a ship out to sea...
 
2014-06-12 03:51:00 PM
Molly Bloom you say?
content9.flixster.com
 
2014-06-12 03:51:53 PM
I thought it was well known.
 
2014-06-12 03:53:16 PM
$1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living
 
2014-06-12 03:56:14 PM

basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living


I'm with you.  If some moron wants to feel like a important tough guy I'm more than happy to help him part with his money.  Pride is one thing, of course.  But it's no hit to my pride to take advantage of an asshole.
 
2014-06-12 03:57:40 PM

basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living


I'd balance a god damn beach ball on my nose and eat whole raw mackerels like one for $1000.
 
2014-06-12 03:59:02 PM

Wadded Beef: Anybody else think that Maguire would get beaten to within an inch of his life if he tried that crap at any regular, non-celebrity table we've all been to at one time or another?


Hell, I'm a tiny lady and even I feel like I could kick his ass if wanted it bad enough. Would be sweet to see a pit boss cram his face in and make him bark like a seal, while people tried to throw chips in his open, bleeding mouth.
 
2014-06-12 03:59:58 PM
She missed a great opportunity to tell him to shove the chip up his ass.
 
2014-06-12 04:02:45 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living

I'd balance a god damn beach ball on my nose and eat whole raw mackerels like one for $1000.


I'd be Heidi Klum's cuckold for $1,000
 
2014-06-12 04:02:46 PM
BathysphereWasn't he part of a pack of celebrity men that would show up to Hollywood nightclubs, calling themselves, "The P*ssy Posse?". Always thought that was weird.

You keep using that word "P*ssy", it doesn't mean what you think it means...
http://books.google.com/books?id=k-QVublpEQsC&pg=PA208
 
2014-06-12 04:02:49 PM

Diogenes: basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living

I'm with you.  If some moron wants to feel like a important tough guy I'm more than happy to help him part with his money.  Pride is one thing, of course.  But it's no hit to my pride to take advantage of an asshole.


I wouldn't. Not saying that I wouldn't bark like a seal for 1K... just not for some pathetic whiny biatch who is trying to buy himself some pride with his wallet. Hell no. If I'm sitting around BS'ing with people who treat me as a human and we're just all having some laughs, sure. But that prick is playing it as "look how rich I am and how poor you are, I can buy your dignity." Fark him. It would take a massive amount of self control to not bust him in the face.
 
2014-06-12 04:05:50 PM

Karma Curmudgeon: Bareefer Obonghit: basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living

I'd balance a god damn beach ball on my nose and eat whole raw mackerels like one for $1000.

I'd be Heidi Klum's cuckold for $1,000


Ew. He's black, dude.
 
2014-06-12 04:08:14 PM

Bathysphere: Wadded Beef: Anybody else think that Maguire would get beaten to within an inch of his life if he tried that crap at any regular, non-celebrity table we've all been to at one time or another?

Hell, I'm a tiny lady and even I feel like I could kick his ass if wanted it bad enough. Would be sweet to see a pit boss cram his face in and make him bark like a seal, while people tried to throw chips in his open, bleeding mouth.


I like you.  You're sunny.
 
2014-06-12 04:08:26 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Are we supposed to feel bad for this woman?


I would guess she'd prefer you buy her book.
 
2014-06-12 04:10:51 PM

Lsherm: "Bark like a seal who wants a fish," he said.
I laughed again, stalling, hoping he would play the joke out by himself and leave.
"I'm not kidding. What's wrong? You're too rich now? You won't bark for a thousand dollars? Wowwww ... you must be really rich."

Man, someone should have punched that little fark right in the face.


He knew what he was getting into when he signed on to be a prank monkey.
 
2014-06-12 04:11:00 PM
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-06-12 04:11:04 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-12 04:11:43 PM
I would have done it for a Klondike bar.
 
2014-06-12 04:14:27 PM
Everyone just assumes this biatch trying to sell a book is telling the truth?
 
2014-06-12 04:14:34 PM

akula: Diogenes: basemetal: $1000?  I'd bark like a seal for 1K.

/and I earn a very good living

I'm with you.  If some moron wants to feel like a important tough guy I'm more than happy to help him part with his money.  Pride is one thing, of course.  But it's no hit to my pride to take advantage of an asshole.

I wouldn't. Not saying that I wouldn't bark like a seal for 1K... just not for some pathetic whiny biatch who is trying to buy himself some pride with his wallet. Hell no. If I'm sitting around BS'ing with people who treat me as a human and we're just all having some laughs, sure. But that prick is playing it as "look how rich I am and how poor you are, I can buy your dignity." Fark him. It would take a massive amount of self control to not bust him in the face.


I would have done it, taken the chip, and flipped it to Affleck and said, "Tell Jen I said 'hi' and buy her something nice."

Best of both worlds.  Take the guy's money, and still show him you think he's a putz and he proved nothing with his sad little attempt to feel like a big man by bullying.
 
2014-06-12 04:14:39 PM
And his hands are sticky with 'web fluid'.
 
2014-06-12 04:15:34 PM
Why do I picture him being in that scene from Requiem for a Dream in real life....

/you know which one
 
2014-06-12 04:17:04 PM

chevydeuce: HotWingConspiracy: Are we supposed to feel bad for this woman?

That was kinda my thought too....she's running an illegal, high stakes gambling house, specifically catering to rich, entitled assholes and she's surprised that they sometimes act like rich, entitled assholes?

Everybody in the story should be dropped off a ship out to sea...


Yeah, I was kind of surprised by how badly she was taking it. A regular coffeehouse waitress going redfaced with mixed shame/rage at the request, okay -- but usually, the sort of people who are dealing with rich celebrities all the time are used to this sort of thing. You can indulge their whims or decide it's best not to encourage them, but it's kind of a part of the line of work she's describing that you might be subject to these kinds of requests.

/A lot of my family are in the entertainment business, great stories they have about dealing with or babysitting drunk/drugged/biatchy celebs.
 
2014-06-12 04:17:40 PM

Jingle Strangle: Everyone just assumes this biatch trying to sell a book is telling the truth?


I dunno why, maybe it's because I'm all excited about beating up Cider House Rules, maybe it's his face, but I believe her.
 
2014-06-12 04:17:57 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
I wonder if she got the idea from this movie? One of my all time favorites.
/never name the punters
 
2014-06-12 04:19:18 PM
That happened.
 
2014-06-12 04:24:19 PM
If she's running the table/house, why not just say "Keep it up, and you won't be welcome any more"?  If she wants to be treated like a professional, she needs to act like one, not a glorified babysitter.

And the rest of the table should have called him out for being a douche and (if nothing else) delaying the game.
 
2014-06-12 04:28:08 PM

LeroyBourne: I wonder if she got the idea from this movie? One of my all time favorites.
/never name the punters


www.scenicreflections.com
/you can see everything
 
2014-06-12 04:29:39 PM

gopher321: Yeah. He's got a history of being a gambling addict.


Update from 2016: Tobey dead broke

/Tobey? That's his name? rly?
 
2014-06-12 04:32:39 PM

Bathysphere: Wasn't he part of a pack of celebrity men that would show up to Hollywood nightclubs, calling themselves, "The P*ssy Posse?". Always thought that was weird.


cdn2.crushable.com

One day, we'll go to all the Hollywood nightclubs and we'll callourselves 'The Pussy Posse'.
 
2014-06-12 04:34:43 PM

mcmnky: LeroyBourne: I wonder if she got the idea from this movie? One of my all time favorites.
/never name the punters

[www.scenicreflections.com image 300x370]
/you can see everything


How did she get a black eye?
I caught her in bed with another person.
Who was he?
She....
Haha, oh Jack, you're a dark horse.
 
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