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(New York Daily News)   Faith-based waterpark in Texas wants to ban thongs. No word on what kind of footwear they expect people to wear if that ban goes through   (nydailynews.com) divider line 125
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5890 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2014 at 10:22 AM (6 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-12 09:44:01 AM
I'm near their other parks, hell, won  4 free passes a couple of weeks ago, they don't beat you over the head with it.

And hell, I'm an atheist, and I would ban butt flossers and denim if I owned one.
 
2014-06-12 09:48:04 AM
"Goddammit Moses, stop parting the water on the slide, I've got a whole layer of epidermis missing now. "
 
2014-06-12 09:48:33 AM
I am mad about things that are trivial and up to the owner. rabble rabble.
 
2014-06-12 09:50:43 AM
Jesus boots.
 
2014-06-12 10:24:03 AM
Do they sell fried Jesus on a stick?
 
2014-06-12 10:24:49 AM

grokca: Jesus boots.


Do those let you walk on water?
 
2014-06-12 10:25:47 AM
Kids still pee in the holy water, Cletus.
 
2014-06-12 10:27:28 AM

baka-san: I'm near their other parks, hell, won  4 free passes a couple of weeks ago, they don't beat you over the head with it.

And hell, I'm an atheist, and I would ban butt flossers and denim if I owned one.


Hell.

/hell
 
2014-06-12 10:27:45 AM
Have you seen the women who usually show up at water parks? Banning thongs is a good thing.
 
2014-06-12 10:28:17 AM
I don't know about you, but I would prefer not to ride a water slide that requires faith. Give me some old fashioned science and engineering, thanks.
 
2014-06-12 10:28:27 AM
Now the hell can a religious water park make it as a bond issue?
 
2014-06-12 10:29:16 AM
I guess they'll have to wear what God gave them.
 
2014-06-12 10:29:21 AM
Most family themed water parks have a ban on too revealing clothing whether they are secular or religious. This is not news. It's not even Fark.
 
2014-06-12 10:29:25 AM
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

They claim to be 'Family Friendly'

What about the dads? If I can't put on my mirrored sunglasses and ogle the MILFs in their thongs, I'd might as well stay the fark home.
 
2014-06-12 10:30:03 AM
I have been to many water parks, and they are all "family oriented," and secular.  They do not allow thongs either.  This is just a big "non-story," thank-you MSM.  But on the plus side it must be a slow news day if this story is getting time.
 
2014-06-12 10:30:04 AM
Approved swimwear for the faith-based waterpark:
cdn.buzznet.com
 
2014-06-12 10:30:40 AM

whither_apophis: grokca: Jesus boots.

Do those let you walk on water?


Only in the winter.
 
2014-06-12 10:31:21 AM
But from behind they look like crucifixes? Most of the time when I see one I say, "sweet little baby Jesus".
 
2014-06-12 10:32:00 AM

Super Chronic: Have you seen the women who usually show up at water parks? Banning thongs is a good thing.


Came here to say this.
 
2014-06-12 10:32:04 AM
I've seen Disney employees ask women to cover up at the resort pool, not exactly "Faith Based" exclusivity.
 
2014-06-12 10:32:14 AM
Thongs on waterslides tend to have 'accidents'.

What's wrong with denim other than the threads clog up the filters?
 
2014-06-12 10:32:57 AM
I wonder how they got the money to build a 35 acre "faith-based" waterpark.
 
2014-06-12 10:32:57 AM
It's like Schlitterbahn, but without the fun!TM
 
2014-06-12 10:33:19 AM
If you're the type of person who chooses to spend time at a "faith-based waterpark", then I can guarantee no one wants to see your butt floss.

In fact, they should probably hand out olde-timey, down-to-the-knees suits at the gate.
 
2014-06-12 10:33:59 AM

TheGreatGazoo: Thongs on waterslides tend to have 'accidents'.

What's wrong with denim other than the threads clog up the filters?


Probably that, think of what thousands of rednecks in jorts in the pool everyday would do to the filtration system after one month.
 
2014-06-12 10:34:15 AM

baka-san: I'm near their other parks, hell, won  4 free passes a couple of weeks ago, they don't beat you over the head with it.

And hell, I'm an atheist, and I would ban butt flossers and denim if I owned one.


you going to try out the Grand Texas park down near New Caney when it's done?
 
2014-06-12 10:34:35 AM
Texas women are beautiful and those accents.  That's fine, thongs don't do it for me.  Keep it classy.
 
2014-06-12 10:34:37 AM

generallyso: I wonder how they got the money to build a 35 acre "faith-based" waterpark.


And I'm an idiot: they have a link in the article that explains it.
 
2014-06-12 10:34:48 AM
the potential is in the headline, will farkers deliver?  let's find out.

/not advocating pictures of feet, thanks
/or dudes
/nttawwt
 
2014-06-12 10:34:52 AM

generallyso: I wonder how they got the money to build a 35 acre "faith-based" waterpark.


Yeah, if there's one solid stereotype about the Jesus freaks, it's that they don't have 2 dimes to rub together...
 
2014-06-12 10:35:14 AM
Faith-based waterpark?!? What's it called, Golden Showers?

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-12 10:35:16 AM

generallyso: I wonder how they got the money to build a 35 acre "faith-based" waterpark.


Forget it, Jake, it's Texas.
 
2014-06-12 10:36:34 AM
Butt burn!
 
2014-06-12 10:36:51 AM
I'm okay with size-appropriate limits on thongs.  No thongs bigger than size 6.
 
2014-06-12 10:36:54 AM

under a mountain: [s3.amazonaws.com image 500x400]


Thong thread?


this would be a good example
/praise the lord
/and you who reside under a mt
/third slashie may not get much work done & that's just fine
 
2014-06-12 10:37:11 AM
That's why I don't go to water parks. Well, that and all the urine...

www.scificool.com
 
2014-06-12 10:37:20 AM
scanfree.org
Hot!
 
gja [TotalFark]
2014-06-12 10:37:37 AM

Shmeat: Faith-based waterpark?!? What's it called, Golden Showers?

[i.imgur.com image 282x458]


'Wash your sins away'
 
2014-06-12 10:38:54 AM

under a mountain:
Thong thread?


Sure. Why not...

www.drezzy.it
 
2014-06-12 10:39:01 AM

mekki: Most family themed water parks have a ban on too revealing clothing whether they are secular or religious. This is not news. It's not even Fark.


Denim and alcohol were also mentioned as banned.  Also commonly banned for good reasons.  Denim (frayed cutoffs assumed) can harm the machinery.  Mixing alcohol with waterslides, pools, crowds... not a good idea.
 
2014-06-12 10:39:12 AM
I'm unclear on what a "thong" might look like. Can anyone help?
 
2014-06-12 10:41:53 AM

Stavr0: [scanfree.org image 540x580]
Hot!


Does that whore in purple have exposed ankles?  Stone her.
 
2014-06-12 10:42:25 AM
There was signs at Six Flags STL, iirc, that prohibited thongs, too.
 
2014-06-12 10:43:06 AM
Meh?
 
2014-06-12 10:43:08 AM
How about we open a nudist water park to compete
 
2014-06-12 10:43:49 AM
I prefer the bikini bridge myself
p1.trrsf.com
 
2014-06-12 10:44:40 AM
The attractions all use holy water? It's a day-long baptism!
 
2014-06-12 10:45:15 AM

Maud Dib: generallyso: I wonder how they got the money to build a 35 acre "faith-based" waterpark.

Forget it, Jake, it's Texas.


Looks like they are trying to vote for a $6.5 Million bond to help build it.
 
2014-06-12 10:46:09 AM
The normal - non-faith based waterpark near me doesn't allow patrons to utilize their slides while wearing denim shorts or thong bikinis. It's a safety issue.
 
2014-06-12 10:47:04 AM
Why do they want to hide God's creation?
 
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