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(Daily Mail)   Overweight childminder tries to have obesity declared a disability. Farkers nod approvingly, their jowls undulating like waves, sweat glistening in folds like an ocean sunset, breath heaving like a dirty phone call   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 44
    More: Asinine  
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5704 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2014 at 11:26 AM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-12 11:36:53 AM  
6 votes:
I'm getting in shape, though. Last night I did nearly 200 crunches in less than an hour.
mms.businesswire.com
2014-06-12 09:31:27 AM  
6 votes:
weknowmemes.com
2014-06-12 11:34:17 AM  
5 votes:
You guys have no idea how hard it is. Just last week, I went to the beach but didn't feel safe going in the water because the Japanese whaling ship had been tracking me for half an hour.
2014-06-12 11:30:58 AM  
4 votes:
My fingers are too fat to type this, so I have to use my penis because it's small enough...

*weeps into between-snack snack of entire lemon meringue pie*
2014-06-12 11:42:33 AM  
3 votes:
stream1.gifsoup.com
2014-06-12 11:29:14 AM  
3 votes:
It sounds like subby is having a hard time finding a literary agent.
2014-06-12 12:34:45 PM  
2 votes:

Cymbal: So by this rationale I should be able to claim any of my addictions as a disability? Jackpot!!!


That's why I'm mad that homosexuality is no longer considered a disease. I want to be able to call in to work with a case of gay.
2014-06-12 12:05:47 PM  
2 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]



I thought that was a loveseat.

For those that really love food.
2014-06-12 11:55:26 AM  
2 votes:
Here...

www.nufcblog.org

Have a wafer thin mint and SHUT THE FARK UP!
2014-06-12 11:54:57 AM  
2 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]


I saw that referred to as the throne of freedom recently.
2014-06-12 11:48:15 AM  
2 votes:

SmackLT


You guys have no idea how hard it is. Just last week, I went to the beach but didn't feel safe going in the water because the Japanese whaling ship had been tracking me for half an hour.


Maybe you can go to DC with 1999 friends and have the Million Pound March.
2014-06-12 11:40:54 AM  
2 votes:
i1.kym-cdn.com
well thanks a lot subby
2014-06-12 11:37:06 AM  
2 votes:
for some reason I thought of this guy:

www.virginmedia.com
2014-06-12 11:35:10 AM  
2 votes:
Not having a disability is becoming a real disability.
2014-06-12 11:34:24 AM  
2 votes:
British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

f.kulfoto.com
2014-06-12 11:27:36 AM  
2 votes:
dougernst.files.wordpress.com
SImpsons did it.
2014-06-12 04:02:36 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

You recognise these Real Americans(tm).
2014-06-12 02:12:19 PM  
1 votes:

namegoeshere: My Asian SIL remembers coming to the states and going out to eat for the first time. The waiter plopped a king cut sirloin in front of her dad, who began slicing it to pass around the table. Then the waiter put such a portion in front of all of them. They were very confused.


I can see how it would be confusing trying to cut a sirloin with chopstix.
2014-06-12 02:10:51 PM  
1 votes:

liam76: Yellow Beard: I have to admit being addicted to the show My 600 pound Life. Once you get past the disgust, it is frankly amazing how much food they can stuff in their gullet. My favorite was the guy who got the 8 piece family meal from KFC for a snack and my son who was watching it with me said "dad, isn't that the same thing we get for the 4 of us for dinner?".

I was staying in a nice hotel in thailand for work that had an awesome italian restaurant in it. I had been living in Indonesia for a few years so I was going to pig the fark out.

I had a tomato and mozarella salad, some deep fried app, a large (pepperroni I think) pizza and some type of cake pops covered with icecream.

RIght next to me was a Thai family of four who ordered pretty much the same thing (different pizza iirc) and the kids were cracking up at what a pig the farang was.

If I wasn't in very good shape I think judgement like that woudl make me re-think my choices...


My Asian SIL remembers coming to the states and going out to eat for the first time. The waiter plopped a king cut sirloin in front of her dad, who began slicing it to pass around the table. Then the waiter put such a portion in front of all of them. They were very confused.
2014-06-12 01:52:43 PM  
1 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: If only there was some way to not be fat.  Some sort of utensil that can be put down



Make them use chopsticks. You don't see many fat Chinese people. Q.E.D.
2014-06-12 01:41:12 PM  
1 votes:
If only there was some way to not be fat.  Some sort of utensil that can be put down
2014-06-12 01:09:46 PM  
1 votes:
I misread the headline as child predator and went to find this before realizing my mistake.

How about this:
img.fark.net
2014-06-12 01:06:01 PM  
1 votes:

Attila the Mom: Rip Dashrock: Christ, everyone's a victim of something these days.

While I agree that some medical conditions (thyroid comes to mind) and medications can cause weight gain, I was obese for 15 years because I ate too damn much and didn't exercise.  I don't think I'm in the minority and it certainly wasn't because I had a disability.


Csb time:

Mrs. Citizen has a thyroid condition and takes meds for it. Still, she refuses to give up, and so she exercises constantly. We're talking 25 miles a week of running or jogging, plus swimming and free weights.

Despite this, she remains what many would consider chunky. It's frustrating to her that people who barely work out or watch their food are thinner.

Still, she's awesome, and I'm glad she's my partner. Besides, she may look puffy, but she runs like a cheetah, swims like a fish, and farks like a mink.

/end Csb.
2014-06-12 01:02:00 PM  
1 votes:

tlars699: Okay, okay- I think we can all agree that 400-500 lbs on almost any human musculo-skeletal frame is excessive.

BUT: These people are still capable of working, and will need to work to support themselves.
These people will still need clothing to fit them, even if they went out and started a diet/exercise program today.
These people most likely have medical professionals who advise them, and may already be attempting to lose weight to the best of their current ability, and so deserve Courtesy and Respect in passing, because they are still people.

Every time you make fun of someone very obviously overweight so they can hear you, you think you're being enlightening? Really?
You're the first one ever to ever say stupid crap just to make them feel bad, huh?

They do notice how hard it is to get around, or to clothe themselves, or to keep from being hungry.
If they don't, they're mentally handicapped, so way to go. The best you can claim is to have made fun of a mentally handicapped person.

Otherwise, they are bombarded with the fact that they are their size, every second of every day. And despite their current or previous efforts, have thus far been unfruitful.

So next time, how about some goddamned compassion?

You have no idea how they got that size- if there was an accident preventing mobility, severe untreated depression, thyroid issue, completely sedentary job, little to no access to nutritional food/birth control, hormonal imbalance, arthritis, addiction to sugar, actually not putting down the fork/being unwilling and lazy(there are these folks out there, but they're still people), etc.

You (most likely) have not been treating them medically and will never have to, and the likelihood of you EVER being offended by having to see them again is minimal at best; so either be polite, or mind your own farking business.


You sound fat.
2014-06-12 12:32:00 PM  
1 votes:

TheNewJesus: There is no fat like Branson Missouri Tourist fat.

They RENT rascals there. And its a booming business.


They're still around?

3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-06-12 12:16:21 PM  
1 votes:

Snarfangel: 25 stone? I thought Brits used metric.


Pisses me off to no end when my old UK co-workers used that...mostly because I had absolutely no room to chide them give the ass backwards measurements in the US.
2014-06-12 12:10:20 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-06-12 12:10:13 PM  
1 votes:

Snarfangel: Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]


I thought that was a loveseat.

For those that really love food.


dammit I'm playing portal 2 and I read that in GLADOS' voice
2014-06-12 12:09:08 PM  
1 votes:

Snarfangel: Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]


I thought that was a loveseat.

For those that really love food.


Opens up a whole new realm of awkward office encounters if you manage to score one of those and you're not fat.

"Please, come in and have a seat with me"
2014-06-12 12:07:10 PM  
1 votes:
riversihaveknown.com
2014-06-12 12:07:06 PM  
1 votes:

firemanbuck: GoldSpider: I thought the word "overweight" had been expunged from the contemporary lexicon because of its judgmental implication and tone.

I believe the correct term now is "differently weighted"


Gravitationally enhanced.
2014-06-12 12:00:36 PM  
1 votes:

Farkage: Put. The fork. Down.


thisdistractedglobe.com
Forks are for closers...
2014-06-12 11:58:34 AM  
1 votes:

Headso: Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]

do americans companies have to offer the fatass chair though? or is your company going above and beyond what the law requires for their obese employees in an effort to keep them jolly?



After fatty mcfatterson breaks 3 or 4 regular office chairs, it's probably just cheaper to invest in a fatass chair..  And yes, I have watched as a corpulent female drop her weight into a wheeled chair and one of the wheels snapped off and dumped her on the ground.  Of course, she went for worker's comp, claiming an inferior and dangerous office environment.  And the next round of lay-offs had her name on the list.
2014-06-12 11:58:32 AM  
1 votes:

JoieD'Zen: SmackLT: My fingers are too fat to type this, so I have to use my penis because it's small enough...

*weeps into between-snack snack of entire lemon meringue pie*

Aww, here's an internet hug.
Fat people shake so horribly when they cry.


Fat people don't cry... they sweat from their eyes.
2014-06-12 11:51:08 AM  
1 votes:

AugieDoggyDaddy: The guy one cube over has a fatass enhanced girth chair.


weight-advantaged. The answer to thin privilege.
2014-06-12 11:46:18 AM  
1 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: British companies may soon have to treat obese workers as 'disabled' and provide them with larger seats and parking spaces next to the office.

This is already a thing in Merica. The guy one cube over has a fatass enhanced girth chair. It's designed for people between 300 - 400 pounds. It looks like a regular chair with a wider seat and lumbar support. The company offers another chair for the 400 pounder pluses. It looks like this:

[f.kulfoto.com image 275x383]


You should be ashamed of yourself.   Bully.
2014-06-12 11:46:00 AM  
1 votes:
This will not impact Farkers who, after all, are still virgins and cannot procreate.
2014-06-12 11:45:50 AM  
1 votes:
I thought the word "overweight" had been expunged from the contemporary lexicon because of its judgmental implication and tone.
2014-06-12 11:40:09 AM  
1 votes:

Cymbal: So by this rationale I should be able to claim any of my addictions as a disability? Jackpot!!!


"Sir, you're just going to have to make reasonable accommodations for me being hungover every day."
2014-06-12 11:34:27 AM  
1 votes:
Subby, your true calling is dirty romantic novella.
2014-06-12 11:32:23 AM  
1 votes:
Christ, everyone's a victim of something these days.
2014-06-12 11:31:48 AM  
1 votes:
images.t-nation.com

Fat. Go somewhere else to be it.
2014-06-12 11:31:10 AM  
1 votes:
by flyover state standards that guy is svelte.
2014-06-12 11:28:50 AM  
1 votes:
We'll cut the check as soon as we confirm that your sperm count is too low to manufacture more of you. Thank you.
 
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