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(CNN)   Swim ban lifted after shark swarm shut down Alabama beaches. Locals still in shock after seeing a creature with a full set of teeth   (cnn.com) divider line 35
    More: Followup, Orange Beach, Alabama, sharks  
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2892 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2014 at 1:09 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-12 09:44:10 AM  
Nice, submitter, very nice.

/+1
 
2014-06-12 10:32:17 AM  
Alabama has beaches?
 
2014-06-12 10:44:07 AM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Alabama has beaches?


Yes, but it all depends on the accent.
 
2014-06-12 10:47:01 AM  
That headline took a bite out of WIN.

+1
 
2014-06-12 10:54:57 AM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Alabama has beaches?


Alabamans like their beaches like their homes: Mobile.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-06-12 12:01:11 PM  

johnsoninca: Eddie Adams from Torrance: Alabama has beaches?

Alabamans like their beaches like their homes: Mobile.


Well, in Mobile all homes are mobile homes.
 
2014-06-12 01:15:19 PM  
i salute you subby
www.crowncombo.com
 
2014-06-12 01:16:23 PM  
I snerted, subby

/take a bow
 
2014-06-12 01:16:46 PM  
great headline
 
2014-06-12 01:22:03 PM  
Edentulous-Americans Subby. Geez, you guys are so insensitive sometimes.
 
2014-06-12 01:22:59 PM  
You know what's weird is that all the music I hear come out of Alabama sounds like the singers have a full set of teeth.

Unlike Subbys Mom the night after he was conceived.

:-þ
 
2014-06-12 01:23:10 PM  
+1 subby, well played.
 
2014-06-12 01:26:27 PM  
On Saturday afternoon, double red flags -- warnings to would-be swimmers to stay out of the Gulf of Mexico -- were raised over the half-mile stretch of beach where the number of sharks continued to grow.


Really? Half a mile stretch? Would think they would close down more than that, that was a bunch of sharks.
 
2014-06-12 01:29:54 PM  
After the shock wears off, they"ll pass another HB 56.
 
2014-06-12 01:31:22 PM  
Great! Let's all get back in!!

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-12 01:34:00 PM  
www.funfluster.com
 
2014-06-12 01:36:17 PM  
HOTY candidate.
 
2014-06-12 01:43:03 PM  
Swarm?
 
2014-06-12 01:43:18 PM  

hillary: FTFA: The ban on entering the water was lifted after officials aerially observed only a few sharks off the jetties at Perdido Pass.

So that's good, then.


Thing is, on the Gulf Coast, they're ALWAYS there. And the worst one is the bull shark. They feed in a hit and run style, so the next thing you know, you're bleeding out with a giant chunk of your leg missing.
I fish the coast a lot. Once you're in over your knees, you're in the food chain.
 
2014-06-12 01:44:05 PM  
scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net
 
gja
2014-06-12 01:48:00 PM  
www.webrockonline.com
"What's all the ruckuss?"
/woob woob woob woob woob
 
2014-06-12 01:48:43 PM  
www.elciofernando.com.br
 
2014-06-12 01:53:15 PM  

hillary: FTFA: The ban on entering the water was lifted after officials aerially observed only a few sharks off the jetties at Perdido Pass.

So that's good, then.


It's both funny and telling. Truth is, there are always sharks out there, and people swim with sharks without knowing it all the time.

A few sharks is no reason not to go in the water, because they are unlikely to hurt you. Especially because most sharks are very, very unlikely to bite - nurse sharks, sand tiger sharks (as opposed to regular tiger sharks), whitetip reef sharks, they're mostly harmless. Bull sharks, tiger sharks, great whites and a few others are more often dangerous, but even then you're much more likely to see one than be bitten (and in turn much more likely to swim with one unknowingly than to see one).
 
2014-06-12 02:04:59 PM  
Good, Subby. Very good.

Until the sharks were identified, there was no reason to close the beaches. In the Gulf, closed to shore, the most common sharks are the basking sharks, which are harmless.
 
2014-06-12 02:10:27 PM  
Omitting the sharks, that joke also works for Michigan and Pennsylvania.
 
2014-06-12 02:11:52 PM  

Maud Dib: Thing is, on the Gulf Coast, they're ALWAYS there. And the worst one is the bull shark. They feed in a hit and run style, so the next thing you know, you're bleeding out with a giant chunk of your leg missing.
I fish the coast a lot. Once you're in over your knees, you're in the food chain.


That's some prime scaremongering right there. Total number of shark attacks from the FL panhandle all the way to Louisianna from 1837 to 2013 (yes, 1837) is... wait for it

30

If you throw in the entire U.S. Gulf coast from Texas down to the tip of Florida you've got 108 in that same time frame. Most attacks are actually on the Atlantic coast, 257 off the coast of Volusia county alone.

Florida
Total US
 
2014-06-12 02:14:03 PM  
Very nice Subby. Very nice.
 
2014-06-12 02:14:26 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-12 02:17:11 PM  
Applause, subby. This made me laugh.
 
2014-06-12 02:21:58 PM  
Maud Dib
Thing is, on the Gulf Coast, they're ALWAYS there. And the worst one is the bull shark. They feed in a hit and run style, so the next thing you know, you're bleeding out with a giant chunk of your leg missing.
I fish the coast a lot. Once you're in over your knees, you're in the food chain.


There are sharks all over the gulf, I have seen them swim by plenty of times while out fishing in waist deep water, they have 0 interest in anything with two legs other than their bait bucket and they dont consider the bait bucket worth the risk of angering the two legged upright monstrosity it is tied to. The jellyfish are more annoying than the sharks. There's a good reason the sharks arent a real danger, its because they are smart enough to stay the hell away from us.
 
2014-06-12 02:26:13 PM  

mdeesnuts: Maud Dib: Thing is, on the Gulf Coast, they're ALWAYS there. And the worst one is the bull shark. They feed in a hit and run style, so the next thing you know, you're bleeding out with a giant chunk of your leg missing.
I fish the coast a lot. Once you're in over your knees, you're in the food chain.

That's some prime scaremongering right there. Total number of shark attacks from the FL panhandle all the way to Louisianna from 1837 to 2013 (yes, 1837) is... wait for it

30

If you throw in the entire U.S. Gulf coast from Texas down to the tip of Florida you've got 108 in that same time frame. Most attacks are actually on the Atlantic coast, 257 off the coast of Volusia county alone.

Florida
Total US


Yeah, but when the odds catch up to you, it sucks.
I prefer to keep my limbs intact.
Used to wade fish in the bays a lot. One trip, I was 30 feet from the boat, waist deep, with a live croaker on my line. All of a sudden, the line began to scream off the reel. I knew I was boned. As I put pressure on the line before I got spooled, the line parted. I got some of the line back, the last 10 feet was abraded as if by sandpaper.
I knew I had a shark on.
My buddies laughed, and kept kidding me about my phantom shark. Until we hooked up with our guide for the next day. One of them asked, "Hey Billy, will we see any sharks in the surf".
He says, "Hell no, they're back in the bay".

\csb
 
2014-06-12 02:37:28 PM  

Eddie Adams from Torrance: Alabama has beaches?


Some of the prettiest in the nation.

gulfshoresluxuryrentals.com
 
2014-06-12 02:38:17 PM  

Maud Dib: Yeah, but when the odds catch up to you, it sucks.


It's OK. We're all afraid of sharks. But I figure if I don't get mangled in a car wreck on the way there, I'm probably OK with the sharks. Considering the vehicle death is almost infinitely more probable than a shark attack.

/saw a sand shark while diving once
//scared the shiat outta me
 
2014-06-12 06:14:50 PM  
It's important to remember that if a shark eats you, it's because it confused you for natural prey. It's not because you're a delicious sack of meat.
 
2014-06-13 09:13:08 AM  
LOL.  Alabama has people who suffer chronic pain and humiliation because they can't afford dental care.  Hilarious!  Poor people deserve ridicule!
 
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