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(New York Daily News)   Don't know what to get your dad for Father's Day? Why not take him to a strip club and show him what he's been missing out on because he ruined his life by having you?   (nydailynews.com ) divider line
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3988 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2014 at 11:39 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-06-12 09:43:52 AM  
Old and Busted:  Glitter in his card

New Hotness:  Glitter in his lap
 
2014-06-12 11:39:56 AM  
What? Old Spice and a shiatty tie aren't good enough for your dad?
 
2014-06-12 11:42:21 AM  
You can feel the seething butthurt coming off the article within the first few sentences.
 
2014-06-12 11:42:30 AM  
Just don't get him a BJ. All he'll be thinking is if only he'd have gotten one nine month's before you were born.
 
2014-06-12 11:42:36 AM  
This is over the line. You're talking about my father, subby. This is the guy who raised me from infancy. He taught me everything he could, and he gave up his dreams to make me the man that I am today. Taking him to a strip club isn't enough.

At very least, I have to find a girl there that would be willing to give him a hand job.
 
2014-06-12 11:43:56 AM  
Or go visit him.
 
2014-06-12 11:44:01 AM  
I don't know. Usually when a guy takes his two >3 year-old kids to the strip club, he ends up as a father-of-the-year candidate on Fark.
 
2014-06-12 11:44:53 AM  

BafflerMeal: Or go visit him.


Are you suggesting I should put on a striptease for my father? WTF is wrong with you?
 
2014-06-12 11:45:38 AM  
HA!  CSB time.

I went with my son and his buddies to my son's bachelor party in Vegas.  We went to Spearmint Rhino and they all chipped in for on a lap dance for me because it was Father's Day weekend.

Good times....good times...

/From what I can remember.
 
2014-06-12 11:46:03 AM  
Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.
 
2014-06-12 11:46:05 AM  
Spend your Father's Day however the fark you want. It's not like the strip club is kidnapping fathers for a free lap dance (although the idea sounds kinky and awesome). Why are people upset about this? Because Jesus?
 
2014-06-12 11:47:18 AM  
I'd rather just not send him a card and not call him as a reminder of what he's missing out on now because he chose not to be there when I was younger.
 
2014-06-12 11:49:51 AM  
Beats the hell out of a tie.
 
2014-06-12 11:50:10 AM  
Trust me, we don't need a reminder of what we're missing.
 
2014-06-12 11:50:50 AM  

un4gvn666: You can feel the seething butthurt coming off the article within the first few sentences.


No shiat. "...rather than spending time with his family."

Oh, shut up. 364 days are about them. Tell him you love him and appreciate him, then let the poor sap have some fun in his life.
 
2014-06-12 11:51:24 AM  

probesport: Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.


www.bundyology.com

Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks, the nudie bar.
Where the girlies dance in their underpants, the nudie bar.
Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar.
Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest, at the nudie bar.
Where you look at a thigh, and blacken an eye, at the nudie bar.
Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass, at the nudie bar.
Where a buck's enough to see their stuff, at the nudie bar.
Where the breasts may be fake but man do they shake, at the nudie bar.
Where you swear like a sailor, and wish you could nail her, at the nudie bar.
Where the cops are at the door, and there's a Kennedy on the floor, at the nudie bar.
Where Christmas is nice, and lap dances are half-price, at the nudie bar.
Where you drink down the shooters, and unwrap the hooters, at the nudie bar.
Where eggnogs are plenty, and the girls are all twenty, at the nudie bar.
 
2014-06-12 11:52:20 AM  
There aren't any good little corner titty bars anymore.  At least not by me.  The days of popping in for a few after work, shooting a game of pool, watching a Heineken bottle disappear up into some beast are long gone.  For a buck you'd get a nice handfull of boobie and for another a good viewing of the goods.  These overpriced "gentlemen's clubs" are a bunch of hooey.

/keep off my grass
 
2014-06-12 11:53:24 AM  

probesport: Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.


Depends. If you were, say, Karla Homolka's dad, I imagine a 10 buck scratch n'win ticket or even getting a tooth pulled would beat out the joy of that experience.
 
2014-06-12 11:56:38 AM  
FTA,  with corrections:

Dancers at the club claimed they'd performed for their fathers - and even a few of their sons.
 
2014-06-12 11:56:42 AM  

un4gvn666: BafflerMeal: Or go visit him.

Are you suggesting I should put on a striptease for my father?



Yes.  Yes I am.  But do it better than the last guy.
 
2014-06-12 11:57:54 AM  

probesport: Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.


Only on Sundays when top-shelf drinks are $2.
 
2014-06-12 11:58:01 AM  

probesport: Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.


Exactly.

I'm glad we're all in agreement on that fact.
 
2014-06-12 11:58:12 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: I'd rather just not send him a card and not call him as a reminder of what he's missing out on now because he chose not to be there when I was younger.


ouch.
 
2014-06-12 11:58:19 AM  
"1,000-member NYC Dad's Group "

I don't know you but I hate you.
 
2014-06-12 11:58:31 AM  
My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.
 
2014-06-12 11:59:13 AM  
My dad took me out drinking this Christmas. All my brothers and sisters were able to weasel their way out of it, so it was just the two of us.

I started playing a game called "Every time dad or one of his bar friends says something weird or offensive and you wish you were somewhere else, take a drink." This was a very bad idea. I was absolutely trashed after about three hours, and had to excuse myself. This did not make it fun to get up for the 5am train the next day.

I'm trying to imagine how much worse this would be at a strip club, and my mind keeps blanking out in fear.

/ Yes, the bartender girl has a nice ass. No, that does not obligate me to loudly discuss it with you.
// Moreover, if I was going to attempt to hook up with the bartender girl as you seem to think I should, discussing the merits of her ass within earshot would not work in my favor.
/// She knew what was going on and kept giving me these pitying looks
 
2014-06-12 12:02:00 PM  

Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.


Mine too. Smothered to death in a freak strip club motorboating accident.

You heartless bastards.
 
2014-06-12 12:03:28 PM  

Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.


What a painful memoir may look like

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-12 12:03:46 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.

Mine too. Smothered to death in a freaky strip club motorboating accident.

You heartless bastards.

 
2014-06-12 12:04:35 PM  

Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.


So is mine. But I wasn't thinking about that until you mentioned dead dads. Thanks a lot!
 
2014-06-12 12:05:07 PM  
Mother's day is all about whatever the woman wants.
Father's day is a family day.

Got it.

/female privilege, yet another example
 
2014-06-12 12:07:32 PM  

probesport: Yeah because strip clubs are considerably more rewarding than fatherhood.



But they are cheaper....so they have that going for them.....which is nice.
 
2014-06-12 12:09:06 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: "Every time dad or one of his bar friends says something weird or offensive and you wish you were somewhere else, take a drink." This was a very bad idea. I was absolutely trashed after about three hours, and had to excuse myself. This did not make it fun to get up for the 5am train the next day.


I dunno. I think if my dad and his beer-buddies were going to run a train on me, I'd just assume not be awake for it...
 
2014-06-12 12:10:39 PM  
How about you make my day better 365 times a year instead of 1?
 
2014-06-12 12:11:18 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: My dad took me out drinking this Christmas. All my brothers and sisters were able to weasel their way out of it, so it was just the two of us.

I started playing a game called "Every time dad or one of his bar friends says something weird or offensive and you wish you were somewhere else, take a drink." This was a very bad idea. I was absolutely trashed after about three hours, and had to excuse myself. This did not make it fun to get up for the 5am train the next day.

I'm trying to imagine how much worse this would be at a strip club, and my mind keeps blanking out in fear.

/ Yes, the bartender girl has a nice ass. No, that does not obligate me to loudly discuss it with you.
// Moreover, if I was going to attempt to hook up with the bartender girl as you seem to think I should, discussing the merits of her ass within earshot would not work in my favor.
/// She knew what was going on and kept giving me these pitying looks


Well, those pitying looks can sometimes lead to other things.  Maybe he was trying to be helpful using that strategy?

"We're trying to think of new ways to do everything," said Mike Diaz, the manager of the jiggle joint, of the inspiration behind the first-time event. "If you're a young father, these people are still alive. They're not dead!"

Um, if I don't want to go to a strip club on Father's Day, I'm dead?  Or am I completely misunderstanding you due to your atrocious grammar?
 
2014-06-12 12:11:22 PM  
Also, I think a strip club is a good place for fathers to go on fathers day. After all, their families get to see them the rest of the year. The girls at the club probably don't even know their fathers.
 
2014-06-12 12:13:22 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: What? Old Spice and a shiatty tie aren't good enough for your dad?


Solution:

Wear Old Spice to the strip club, and the girls with daddy issues....all of them.....will give you some special attention in the VIP area.
 
2014-06-12 12:20:41 PM  

The_Sponge: Sin_City_Superhero: What? Old Spice and a shiatty tie aren't good enough for your dad?

Solution:

Wear Old Spice to the strip club, and the girls with daddy issues....all of them.....will give you some special attention in the VIP area.


Perhaps in the STD area as well.
 
2014-06-12 12:21:47 PM  

DoctorWhat: Well, those pitying looks can sometimes lead to other things. Maybe he was trying to be helpful using that strategy?


The thought had crossed my mind, but this assumes a level of subtly that I don't think my dad possesses, especially when drinking.
 
2014-06-12 12:22:10 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: I'd rather just not send him a card and not call him as a reminder of what he's missing out on now because he chose not to be there when I was younger.


Kinda in the same boat. I might see him, I might not. Neither of us will really care either way.
 
2014-06-12 12:22:54 PM  
Scantily clad women with daddy issues on Fathers' Day.... makes sense.
 
2014-06-12 12:23:17 PM  
With the strip club in this city, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. At least the meth hasn't taken all their teeth yet is the description of the hot one.
 
2014-06-12 12:28:54 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.

What a painful memoir may look like

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 286x475]


Too bad what with her being deaf and blind and all :(
 
2014-06-12 12:29:39 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Wellon Dowd: My father is dead. Thanks for the painful memoirs, subby.

What a painful memoir may look like

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 286x475]


To be fair, that got much more uplifting after Anne Sullivan taught her how to speak.
 
2014-06-12 12:30:03 PM  

Satanus Maximus: Spend your Father's Day however the fark you want. It's not like the strip club is kidnapping fathers for a free lap dance (although the idea sounds kinky and awesome). Why are people upset about this? Because Jesus?


I'm going to go with The "Some people" are the wives.
 
2014-06-12 12:30:15 PM  
Only if I can bring my wife.
 
2014-06-12 12:37:34 PM  
Strip club? Bah, I was in band and took my dad nailing bar floozies.
/still miss ya dad....
 
2014-06-12 12:38:44 PM  
He already has to live with mom, why would he want to spend even more time with her?
 
2014-06-12 12:40:46 PM  
CSB:
My dad, my grandpa, and an uncle of mine took me to a strip club my first time.
End CSB
 
2014-06-12 12:43:52 PM  
I would take my father to a nudie bar, but he's dead.  I could take his ashes, but that might be a little creepy.  I'll just get myself an extra lap dance.
 
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