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(NBC News)   Remember that 1918 flu pandemic that killed 5% of the world's population? Well scientists just made a mutant version of it. Sleep well   (nbcnews.com) divider line 75
    More: Scary  
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5271 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2014 at 3:11 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-12 12:21:55 AM  
Maybe they can weaponize it so it only hits mooselims.
 
2014-06-12 12:26:57 AM  
Groovy.
 
2014-06-12 12:31:17 AM  
What is the virus's mutant ability? Can it control metal, or does it regenerate, or is it psychic?
 
2014-06-12 12:40:21 AM  
www.newyorker.com
 
2014-06-12 03:23:27 AM  
why wouldn't I sleep well?  scientists are doing what they are supposed to do.

are you clutching your special healing crystal submitter?  Hoping it will detoxify you and protect your aura?
 
2014-06-12 03:24:07 AM  
No worries. Just release it in Madagascar, wait for the ports to close, problem solved
 
2014-06-12 03:24:47 AM  
Yeah, maybe lock the mad scientist up before he can work on his revenge doomsday weapon.

Did you all learn nothing from that shiatty batman and robin movie?

/The flu man cometh
//sneeze well
///ect
 
2014-06-12 03:27:13 AM  
Well, keep random tree sluts from pissing scientist off in the first place might also help
 
2014-06-12 03:27:32 AM  
I for ... our ... overlord. Shyt, it ... begun!
 
2014-06-12 03:27:45 AM  
If it becomes transmissible through bird contact the GOP leadership is doomed.
 
2014-06-12 03:31:32 AM  

Lanadapter: Yeah, maybe lock the mad scientist up before he can work on his revenge doomsday weapon.

Did you all learn nothing from that shiatty batman and robin movie?


I learned that nipples increase crime fighting ability by at least 5%, but apparently that does not apply to female superheroes.
 
2014-06-12 03:41:52 AM  
Now you know it works.  Any questions?
 
2014-06-12 03:44:32 AM  
It was pandemic's like this that cost us the word            back in the day.
 
2014-06-12 03:45:16 AM  

thetrenchcoat: It was pandemic's like this that cost us the word            back in the day.


Pandemic's? Oh no, it's starting already.
 
2014-06-12 04:00:13 AM  
I love fark. Possible super plague in gov. hands? No farks to give.

Typo in the headline? 20+ posts.
 
2014-06-12 04:03:24 AM  

GenericHumanFive: I love fark. Possible super plague in gov. hands? No farks to give.

Typo in the headline? 20+ posts.


Well, the Fedgov's gonna do what it's gonna do, just like always, and not a thing we can do to stop them. A typo, however, can lead to several hundred posts. And that, at least, entertains

/would not be surprised by Captain Tripps showing up
//"We're from the Government, We're here to help"
 
2014-06-12 04:05:30 AM  
Somebody get that "Nope" thread over here. Start with the octopus. Then giant spider.
 
2014-06-12 04:09:08 AM  

wildcardjack: If it becomes transmissible through bird contact the GOP leadership is doomed.


Em... so what you're saying... is that the bird... is the word?
 
2014-06-12 04:11:22 AM  

GenericHumanFive: I love fark. Possible super plague in gov. hands? No farks to give.

Typo in the headline? 20+ posts.


I love fark for a different reason. I love it because it's where people will do things like confuse the united states government with the University of Wisconsin.

usually because they didn't read the article and made assumptions based only on the headline.

so thanks for the knee slapper.
 
2014-06-12 04:24:12 AM  
Dick move, science...

Dick move.
 
2014-06-12 04:25:23 AM  

SonsoftheSod: wildcardjack: If it becomes transmissible through bird contact the GOP leadership is doomed.

Em... so what you're saying... is that the bird... is the word?


I'm saying the chicken has been tenderized from the inside.
 
2014-06-12 04:33:43 AM  
"'Hey, we made cancer airborne and contagious! You're welcome'. Science. All about coulda, not shoulda."

-Patton Oswalt

/or was it Rand Paul.
//dnrtfa
 
2014-06-12 04:38:11 AM  

inclemency: "'Hey, we made cancer airborne and contagious! You're welcome'. Science. All about coulda, not shoulda."

-Patton Oswalt

/or was it Rand Paul.
//dnrtfa


images.wikia.com

OR

i0.kym-cdn.com

/science and arrogance
 
2014-06-12 04:48:36 AM  
I did not know that ferrets experience flu in the same way as humans.

Do the male ferrets complain as soon as they get the first sniffle, and receive no sympathy from the female ferrets?
 
2014-06-12 04:54:33 AM  

opiumpoopy: I did not know that ferrets experience flu in the same way as humans.

Do the male ferrets complain as soon as they get the first sniffle, and receive no sympathy from the female ferrets?


Ha. My wife is a surgeon, and the goddamned biggest whiny baby ever when she gets sick. When I get sick, I just want to be left alone.

I swear she'll be the death of us both due to some foul patient...After 10 years, I've finally got her wearing gloves from start to finish with every patient sitting in her office. From handshake to handshake.
 
2014-06-12 05:23:06 AM  
1918 influenza ain't nothing to fark with.
Here's a good read on what it was like.
 
2014-06-12 05:51:30 AM  
M-O-O-N that spells COWBELL!
 
2014-06-12 05:52:55 AM  

some_beer_drinker: [www.newyorker.com image 580x328]


What was that from?
 
2014-06-12 05:59:24 AM  

phenn: some_beer_drinker: [www.newyorker.com image 580x328]

What was that from?


World War Z
 
2014-06-12 06:04:31 AM  
I've seen this one.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-12 06:09:25 AM  
Everyone knows that bird is the word.
 
2014-06-12 06:11:56 AM  

C18H27NO3: phenn: some_beer_drinker: [www.newyorker.com image 580x328]

What was that from?

World War Z


Gracias.
 
2014-06-12 06:19:08 AM  
robohobo:
/would not be surprised by Captain Tripps showing up

Paging Mr Randall Flagg, Mr Randall Flagg to the white courtesy phone!
 
2014-06-12 06:20:21 AM  

robohobo: inclemency: "'Hey, we made cancer airborne and contagious! You're welcome'. Science. All about coulda, not shoulda."

-Patton Oswalt

/or was it Rand Paul.
//dnrtfa



OR



/science and arrogance


When the scientists built the first atomic bomb they estimated there was like a 10% chance the chain reaction would not end and split every single atom on the earth... they decided to test it anyway.
 
2014-06-12 06:20:41 AM  

GenericHumanFive: I love fark. Possible super plague in gov. hands? No farks to give.

Typo in the headline? 20+ posts.


chan.catiewayne.com
 
2014-06-12 06:49:20 AM  
I'm feeling drawn to Vegas
 
2014-06-12 07:12:38 AM  

Fano: I'm feeling drawn to Vegas


I'm guessing most FARKERs would....( it's a more exciting place than Kansas)
 
2014-06-12 07:13:07 AM  
Red Queen is asleep at the switch..
 
2014-06-12 07:18:29 AM  
trashfilmguru.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-12 07:24:31 AM  

Fano: I'm feeling drawn to Vegas


Don't forget your bottle caps
 
2014-06-12 07:25:32 AM  

self_made_hell: 1918 influenza ain't nothing to fark with.
Here's a good read on what it was like.


My grandfather was about 13 when it came through.  He helped an undertaker with non-dead body related stuff at the time for pocket money, and he told stories about how absolutely flat-out busy they were when it flared up in Philadelphia (where he lived).
 
2014-06-12 08:00:45 AM  
Can they make a version that only kills anti-vaxxers?  Just curious.
 
2014-06-12 08:05:30 AM  
Meh.

1.  A lot of viruses can be resurrected and changed to anything you want using reverse genetics / dna synthesis technologies.  Flu, SARS, MERS, polio....  all have been done.

2.  H5N1 is scarier.
 
2014-06-12 08:10:01 AM  
Is now a bad time to inform subby that they have test tubes of small pox in labs, too.
 
2014-06-12 08:14:15 AM  

borg: Maybe they can weaponize it so it only hits mooselims.


Targeting melanin and engineering the cure for it to be bacon grease,  You're welcome.
 
2014-06-12 08:17:04 AM  

GenericHumanFive: I love fark. Possible super plague in gov. hands? No farks to give.

Typo in the headline? 20+ posts.


Welcometofark.jpg
 
2014-06-12 08:35:29 AM  
Then it'll be sent to a remote location in Africa for safe keeping. Where it'll be mishandled by a worker who exposes a nearby town or it is deliberately done to study it.
 
2014-06-12 08:50:01 AM  
thenerderypublic.com
 
2014-06-12 09:14:32 AM  
Would another 5% at least get rid of the farkers in the Politics tab? At least the defenders of all things "Redskin" related?
 
2014-06-12 09:22:56 AM  
If Erik Lensherr was dyslexic, would he be Magento?
 
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