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(Denver Post)   Denver Post opinion editor weighs in on Maureen Dowd's marijuana misadventures. Short version: She's an idiot   (denverpost.com) divider line 42
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8943 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2014 at 1:45 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-11 01:56:38 PM  
19 votes:
Alright, Maureen, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it.. Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?
2014-06-11 12:10:26 PM  
11 votes:
Reminds me of the first time I had a wine spritzer.

Woke up five days later naked and somehow entangled in a ballroom chandelier.
2014-06-11 01:56:09 PM  
6 votes:
That's what you get for injecting a whole marijuana!
2014-06-11 01:49:41 PM  
5 votes:
I bought a 750ml bottle of Everclear, why didn't they tell me not to drink the whole thing in a sitting?
2014-06-11 02:14:03 PM  
4 votes:
www.quickmeme.com
2014-06-11 02:03:32 PM  
4 votes:

Tom_Slick: Alright, Maureen, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it.. Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?


Nicely done.

37.media.tumblr.com
2014-06-11 02:03:25 PM  
4 votes:
Next week Thomas Friedman will trip balls on MDMA and fall in love with a cab driver from Baluchistan.
2014-06-11 11:28:54 AM  
4 votes:

WhiskeySticks: Directions, how do they work?


She's a writer, not a reader!

But seriously, folks: if you've never used a drug before, consider doing so with someone experienced in attendance.  I've never touched MJ, but if I did I know which specialists in my friend group I'd consult first.
2014-06-11 02:38:36 PM  
3 votes:

LazyMedia: bingethinker: rev. dave: bingethinker: Hallucinations? Is she sure that wasn't the pot reacting with some medication she's on?

Yes, it can happen if the weed is way too strong.  In early 2001 I went to Amsterdam and had some of their good stuff, it was mostly auditory hallucinations and wavy visuals.  And I had a tolerance back them too.  I imagine the stuff in Colorado now is of equivalent strength and quality or better.

They call that being Amsterdamaged.

My brother was a big pothead when he was a teenager, and he described hallucinations after getting really high on hash. Apparently, he had a conversation with a little man who was sitting in the ceiling.


The first time I ever got high, I knew I was stoned when my friend went 2 dimensional.  Just completely flat, like he was painted on a background.  That was cool.
2014-06-11 02:24:27 PM  
3 votes:
www.reactionimage.org

Oldie but a goodie.
2014-06-11 02:19:25 PM  
3 votes:

factoryconnection: WhiskeySticks: Directions, how do they work?

She's a writer, not a reader!

But seriously, folks: if you've never used a drug before, consider doing so with someone experienced in attendance.  I've never touched MJ, but if I did I know which specialists in my friend group I'd consult first.


content.hollywire.com
2014-06-11 02:21:53 PM  
2 votes:
msg-ctrl.com
2014-06-11 02:08:57 PM  
2 votes:

que.guero: I bought a 750ml bottle of Everclear, why didn't they tell me not to drink the whole thing in a sitting?



That's not a single serving size? Talk about an accident waiting to happen.
2014-06-11 07:01:20 PM  
1 votes:

free_xenu: When I buy a bottle of whiskey, I feel I must drink the whole thing because there's nothing on the label to tell me otherwise.


When you buy a candy bar, do you read the label about the serving size? Hell no, you farking pothead, you snarf the whole thing. They're putting uncomfortable amounts of THC in CHOCOLATE BARS, for FFS. That's like, entrapment or something.
2014-06-11 06:49:08 PM  
1 votes:
When I buy a bottle of whiskey, I feel I must drink the whole thing because there's nothing on the label to tell me otherwise.
2014-06-11 05:25:17 PM  
1 votes:

adamatari: Uptight people like to make sure they don't enjoy things. I have a bit of this tendency myself that I have to watch out for.

She subconsciously chose to make herself miserable to validate her own preconceptions. She had advice she didn't follow, and she chose edibles over taking a puff (still the best way, IMHO), and so she ruined it for herself.


One puff of a marijuana joint, or "reefer", and you get lung cancer. Science. Fact.
2014-06-11 05:05:47 PM  
1 votes:
Why would you make a candy bar that was more than 1 serving any damn way. At least divide it into doses before you package it. FFS you don't eat the whole damn pan of brownies or cookies but candy bars? Fark yes you would normally eat the whole damn thing and they should expect that.
2014-06-11 05:03:02 PM  
1 votes:
I used to just skip frames real bad, so it was kind of hard to position a glass under the faucet in order to fill it up for a drink of water.

today's weed really messes you up. it's too powerful. as kids we used to quest for kb. now i have to search high and low for shwag.

no one has shwag anymore.
2014-06-11 04:48:30 PM  
1 votes:

mama2tnt: GoodDoctorB: mama2tnt: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: The media is having such a hard time finding problems with legal MJ it's hysterical.  There's a fortune riding on keeping it illegal and all those folks are freaking right the fark out.

QFT.

$42 Billion spent annually fighting for marijuana prohibition, and your argument is.... "shut up."

Academic.

Huh?
/should've smoked before coming on here just to be as thick as you, I guess.


Goddammitsomuch.  When did QFT stop meaning "quit farking talking"?  Is that a regional thing around here?

Ugh, doesn't matter.  My fault, sorry.

i.imgur.com
2014-06-11 04:09:51 PM  
1 votes:

Cdr.Murdock: And as punishment, me and Rabbit here are going to make you eat the whole bag bar.....

[img.fark.net image 394x347]


Fun fact - that guy is married to this lady:
img.fark.net

He is a very, very lucky man.
2014-06-11 03:50:20 PM  
1 votes:
Maureen, too bad you didn't hire that 2000lb hooker to go back to the room with you. You could have asked her to sit on your face. Your piece on "drugs and sex could kill you" would be quite the read.
2014-06-11 03:30:37 PM  
1 votes:

jxb465: Yeah, but if you, like, died from an overdose, man, you couldn't say anything.
/Whoa, trippy.


They leave notes. You know how time slows down when you're stoned? And then even more so when you're dying (take my word for this). Pot overdosers know that their time is up, and they usually leave notes. Entire books, sometimes, talking about how sorry they are that they ever tried pot, the failures of their lives, how sad they are to die now, stoned, and not even able to articulate an unstoned thought before they leave this mortal coil.

Some very sad and scary stuff. And there's hundreds of documents out there. You can find them on the internet, but I wouldn't recommend it. I read a couple of them, and they are absolutely chilling. I'll never touch pot again.
2014-06-11 03:08:53 PM  
1 votes:

farkin_Gary: "I come to and my brother was there
And he said, 'What's wrong with your eyes?'
I said, 'I don't know, I was chewing on a weed'
He said, 'Let me give it a try'

We spent the rest of that day and most of that night
Trying to find my brother, Bill
Caught up with him 'bout six o'clock the next mornin'
Naked, swinging on the windmill
He said he flew up there
I had to fly up and get him down
He was about half crazy."


I sang this endlessly as a child.
2014-06-11 03:05:24 PM  
1 votes:
And as punishment, me and Rabbit here are going to make you eat the whole bag bar.....

img.fark.net
2014-06-11 02:58:57 PM  
1 votes:

Chach: Delawheredad: She has ALWAYS been an idiot.

Truth. I've known of Ms. Dowd's idiocy for a decade and a half at least.


Thirded. The day she writes something that ISN'T idiotic I'll look out my window for airborne pigs.
2014-06-11 02:53:27 PM  
1 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: [global3.memecdn.com image 850x486]


Yeah, but if you, like, died from an overdose, man, you couldn't say anything.

/Whoa, trippy.
2014-06-11 02:49:12 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
I hope your not busy for a month or so...
2014-06-11 02:38:44 PM  
1 votes:

farkin_Gary: "I come to and my brother was there
And he said, 'What's wrong with your eyes?'
I said, 'I don't know, I was chewing on a weed'
He said, 'Let me give it a try'

We spent the rest of that day and most of that night
Trying to find my brother, Bill
Caught up with him 'bout six o'clock the next mornin'
Naked, swinging on the windmill
He said he flew up there
I had to fly up and get him down
He was about half crazy."


ha! Good song
2014-06-11 02:37:03 PM  
1 votes:
The media is having such a hard time finding problems with legal MJ it's hysterical.  There's a fortune riding on keeping it illegal and all those folks are freaking right the fark out.
2014-06-11 02:25:10 PM  
1 votes:

macadamnut: Tom_Slick: Alright, Maureen, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it.. Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?

Nicely done.

[37.media.tumblr.com image 638x473]


Damn, macadamnut, my bad, missed yours.
2014-06-11 02:17:53 PM  
1 votes:

Fark like a Barsoomian: que.guero: I bought a 750ml bottle of Everclear, why didn't they tell me not to drink the whole thing in a sitting?

So, how's being dead?

I mixed in a little too much of that stuff once. I don't remember exactly what it did to us but it didn't feel good.


It's alright, but my ear hurts...
2014-06-11 02:10:14 PM  
1 votes:
The question I want answered is if it was so bad why has she been back to Denver six times in the last three weeks and why is she trying to establish residency in Colorado?  The lady doth protest too much
2014-06-11 02:08:57 PM  
1 votes:

BlackMtnMan: As a Colorado resident and native, the media and psuedo scientists need to STFU. I haven't noticed one farking difference in life as we know it here, nor have my friends.  And no, I haven't used weed in many years.

So welcome to Colorado. Now go the hell home. We're tired of you.


2nd.
F42
2014-06-11 02:07:20 PM  
1 votes:

bingethinker: Hallucinations? Is she sure that wasn't the pot reacting with some medication she's on?


I'm sure it's her paycheck reacting to what her boss wants people to believe.
2014-06-11 02:05:42 PM  
1 votes:
As a Colorado resident and native, the media and psuedo scientists need to STFU. I haven't noticed one farking difference in life as we know it here, nor have my friends.  And no, I haven't used weed in many years.

So welcome to Colorado. Now go the hell home. We're tired of you.
2014-06-11 02:02:52 PM  
1 votes:
Maureen's brownies were good stuff. She got it from a Negro. She was probably high already and she didn't even know it.
2014-06-11 01:59:57 PM  
1 votes:

Tom_Slick: Alright, Maureen, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it.. Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?


Let me show you something. It's called: The Last Waltz... don't worry, it'll be over soon. Yeah, that's Ringo.
2014-06-11 01:59:21 PM  
1 votes:
My major problem with Maureen Dowd is that she often relies way too heavily on a particular rhetorical trick, namely the use of one-sentence paragraphs.

It's effective.

Once in a while.

Especially with short sentences.

When you make it your primary writing style, though, it gets old fast.  And when it comes at the end of an essay, frankly it reminds me of slashies.
2014-06-11 01:58:37 PM  
1 votes:
Someone give her a Snickers because she's nuts.
2014-06-11 01:56:28 PM  
1 votes:

que.guero: I bought a 750ml bottle of Everclear, why didn't they tell me not to drink the whole thing in a sitting?


So, how's being dead?

I mixed in a little too much of that stuff once. I don't remember exactly what it did to us but it didn't feel good.
2014-06-11 01:51:42 PM  
1 votes:

brap: Reminds me of the first time I had a wine spritzer.

Woke up five days later naked and somehow entangled in a ballroom chandelier.


Aw jeez, that was you?  Sorry about that.
2014-06-11 10:08:56 AM  
1 votes:
She forgot to inject herself with the seizure causing medicine. How else could she discredit Chew-Z?
 
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