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Duplicate of another approved link: 8292563


(NYPost)   Today's Fark-ready headline: "I had a sexual relationship with a dolphin"   ( nypost.com) divider line
    More: Weird, English Words, sexual relationship  
•       •       •

3071 clicks;  Favorite

48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-06-10 02:11:37 PM  
Didn't we have a story not too long ago about a dolphin that farked an octopus?  One that then went on about what sicko perverts dolphins were?
 
2014-06-10 02:18:15 PM  
Was it Dan Marino?
 
2014-06-10 02:25:50 PM  
There's a relationship with a  porpoise.
 
2014-06-10 03:28:52 PM  
Does he sell propane?
 
2014-06-10 04:08:11 PM  

vpb: Didn't we have a story not too long ago about a dolphin that farked an octopus?  One that then went on about what sicko perverts dolphins were?


It was a dolphin using an eel as a sex toy.
 
2014-06-10 04:42:33 PM  
Whatever, Mr Limpit
 
2014-06-10 04:44:39 PM  
No Hank, you were RAPED.
 
2014-06-10 04:45:38 PM  
Well, who hasn't? I mean it was the 80's right?
 
2014-06-10 04:45:57 PM  
7 in and no Troy McClure?  Figured it would've been the boobies
 
2014-06-10 04:46:40 PM  
Well most of us just fark pigs.
 
2014-06-10 04:47:09 PM  
Hank Hill?
 
2014-06-10 04:47:49 PM  
Dolphins are rapists.
 
2014-06-10 04:48:24 PM  
In the trailer for the documentary, Howe explains that she would masturbate Peter to keep him focused, otherwise he did not pay attention to her lessons.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-10 04:48:38 PM  
So long and thanks for all the fist!
 
2014-06-10 04:48:43 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-10 04:49:29 PM  
Dolphin suicide. Sounds like a Far Side premise.
 
2014-06-10 04:49:47 PM  
Wet Goddess is a good book on this topic.
 
2014-06-10 04:49:58 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Dolphins are rapists.


forsooth

static.fjcdn.com

s8.imagestime.com
 
2014-06-10 04:50:50 PM  
Longtime Farkers, I am disappoint.

grampyshouse.net
 
2014-06-10 04:52:14 PM  
is this the guy that wrote the FAQ?
 
2014-06-10 04:53:00 PM  
Dauphins are usually named Louis.
 
2014-06-10 04:53:46 PM  
A'aak uh'k eeeeeh fark ahkahk'kkk!
Eeeeeeeeeeeh ka handie eeeehk!

/K'k ka uh'k.
 
2014-06-10 04:54:06 PM  
Damnit Kanye!!!
 
2014-06-10 04:57:25 PM  
I've had sexual relations with a Tuna... well, at least it smelled like one.
 
2014-06-10 04:57:30 PM  
Blow hole.
 
2014-06-10 05:01:08 PM  
I am ashamed...yes truly ashamed...but I once had a sexual relationship with my hand. It was brief, only a fling, and it NEVER happened again, I swear. It did happen however and I am man enough to admit it. I know that some people will dismiss me or think less of me because of what I did but I can't help that: it is what it is. The only excuse I can offer is that I had just left the White house and I was dead broke at the time--I couldn't afford any other type of relationship. All things change; we grow and move on with our lives; there is progress. I'm in a better place now; it's important to me that you know that. I see clear skies and sunny days ahead and I pleased to announce to the public that Hillary and I are doing fine--we haven't spent an evening together in a decade. So I want everyone to know that one can learn from one's mistakes and my lesson is: never bang an intern because it will make ones hand look inviting by comparison.
 
2014-06-10 05:01:51 PM  
considering that a 2-year-old Mormon kid was killed in SF yesterday when a dolphin statue fell on him, this is in porpoise taste
 
2014-06-10 05:03:09 PM  
sqd.ru

Einhorn?  Finkle?
 
2014-06-10 05:07:20 PM  
global3.memecdn.com
 
FNG [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2014-06-10 05:08:13 PM  
Thank you Pfighting Polish that did take way too long.
 
2014-06-10 05:09:21 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Dolphins are rapists.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-10 05:13:02 PM  
i118.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-10 05:13:09 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-10 05:14:32 PM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2014-06-10 05:16:41 PM  
Klaus is a moron who believes everything he reads in the New York Post.

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-10 05:17:14 PM  
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
Sean: Man! Why is everything so much easier with dolphins?
Elliot: Because you're not trying to date a dolphin.
Sean: No. No. Well, not after that big talk they gave us.
 
2014-06-10 05:18:09 PM  

worlddan: I am ashamed...yes truly ashamed...but I once had a sexual relationship with my hand. It was brief, only a fling, and it NEVER happened again, I swear. It did happen however and I am man enough to admit it. I know that some people will dismiss me or think less of me because of what I did but I can't help that: it is what it is. The only excuse I can offer is that I had just left the White house and I was dead broke at the time--I couldn't afford any other type of relationship. All things change; we grow and move on with our lives; there is progress. I'm in a better place now; it's important to me that you know that. I see clear skies and sunny days ahead and I pleased to announce to the public that Hillary and I are doing fine--we haven't spent an evening together in a decade. So I want everyone to know that one can learn from one's mistakes and my lesson is: never bang an intern because it will make ones hand look inviting by comparison.


Mr President, are you OK financially now?  Should I send money?
 
2014-06-10 05:21:46 PM  
mantiseye.com
 
2014-06-10 05:24:25 PM  
I was expecting the Florida tag.
 
2014-06-10 05:24:32 PM  

Repo Man: Klaus is a moron who believes everything he reads in the New York Post.

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


sblazak.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-10 05:49:02 PM  
Oblig?
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-10 05:55:56 PM  
So at no point in the reviews of the research  did anyone raise their hand and say "She's jerking off the dolphin?"
Academia must have been pretty interestings in the mid 1960s.
 
2014-06-10 06:28:32 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-06-10 06:31:14 PM  

TheJoe03: [i.imgur.com image 500x375]


Came for this.

Poor Hank.
 
2014-06-10 07:07:24 PM  
Moral of the story: if you are persistent enough and just keep rubbing yourself on a woman eventually she'll give you a handy.
 
2014-06-10 08:12:33 PM  

HalfOffOffer: Moral of the story: if you are persistent enough and just keep rubbing yourself on a woman eventually she'll give you a handy.


the things you learn on fark :)
 
2014-06-10 10:54:02 PM  
Good thing it wasn't a sperm whale
 
2014-06-11 12:10:53 AM  
Full of regretful curiosity, I had to find out what a dolphin penis looks like. Just as well I didn't find anything on a GIS, since I'm at work.

/had better luck on YouTube
//now I know
 
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