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(WFAA Fort Worth)   Nobody cares if you're a 70 year-old woman who likes to watch porn and rub one out in bed. Unless you're a daycare provider and do it while you have a 4 year-old girl in bed with you, then people start to care   (wfaa.com) divider line 28
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4514 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2014 at 6:04 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-10 03:04:38 PM
This was more than just rubbing one out.  This was encouraging a child to rub one out with you.
 
2014-06-10 04:01:36 PM
Oh, wow, that's not good. Not at all.
 
2014-06-10 04:15:20 PM
To be honest, subby, when someone is watching porn and rubbing one out with a 4 year old I don't really care what their vocation was.

Notice the past tense. That's because I can't think of a single employer that wouldn't fire someone who did that.
 
2014-06-10 05:05:37 PM
mojoimage.com
 
2014-06-10 06:06:19 PM
media.wfaa.com

One more inch on each side and her jaw is going to FALL RIGHT OFF.
 
2014-06-10 06:07:46 PM

doglover: To be honest, subby, when someone is watching porn and rubbing one out with a 4 year old I don't really care what their vocation was.

Notice the past tense. That's because I can't think of a single employer that wouldn't fire someone who did that.


They can keep their job if they're a celebrated film director.
 
2014-06-10 06:29:21 PM

Chinchillazilla: doglover: To be honest, subby, when someone is watching porn and rubbing one out with a 4 year old I don't really care what their vocation was.

Notice the past tense. That's because I can't think of a single employer that wouldn't fire someone who did that.

They can keep their job if they're a celebrated film director.


Or a bishop of a certain religion.
 
2014-06-10 06:29:27 PM
o_O
 
2014-06-10 06:37:44 PM

Dragonflew: One more inch on each side and her jaw is going to FALL RIGHT OFF.


I'm on mobile and don't have the skills anyway, but an animated gif of her with a marionette jaw would be something.
 
2014-06-10 06:43:14 PM

vicioushobbit: Chinchillazilla: doglover: To be honest, subby, when someone is watching porn and rubbing one out with a 4 year old I don't really care what their vocation was.

Notice the past tense. That's because I can't think of a single employer that wouldn't fire someone who did that.

They can keep their job if they're a celebrated film director.

Or a bishop of a certain religion.


Hell they perform oral on babies and call it a circumcision.
 
2014-06-10 06:47:20 PM
She doesn't look too bad for a 70 year old.  Looks like masturbating all the time really is a fountain of youth.
 
2014-06-10 06:51:17 PM

Shazam999: She doesn't look too bad for a 70 year old.  Looks like masturbating all the time really is a fountain of youth.


Ew.  Is that a separate charge?
 
2014-06-10 06:53:42 PM

p the boiler: Dragonflew: One more inch on each side and her jaw is going to FALL RIGHT OFF.

I'm on mobile and don't have the skills anyway, but an animated gif of her with a marionette jaw would be something.


Yeah. She looks Canadian.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
(Picture of victim)
 
2014-06-10 06:57:22 PM
I wonder if it's dementia? csb...When I lived with my parents, we had a neighbor who was a really nice guy. He lived a few doors down from us, and he had never shown any signs of weirdness. He had 3 kids of his own who were by all appearances, very well-adjusted. When he retired at 68, he started to behave oddly. He used to be very tidy, but then started to leave stuff out in his front yard like clothes, food and books. When he started to wander out into the neighborhood with only his underwear, then later completely naked, that's when his family got involved and put him in a home. People who have dementia do some really strange stuff.
 
2014-06-10 07:01:42 PM

Atomic Spunk: I wonder if it's dementia? csb...When I lived with my parents, we had a neighbor who was a really nice guy. He lived a few doors down from us, and he had never shown any signs of weirdness. He had 3 kids of his own who were by all appearances, very well-adjusted. When he retired at 68, he started to behave oddly. He used to be very tidy, but then started to leave stuff out in his front yard like clothes, food and books. When he started to wander out into the neighborhood with only his underwear, then later completely naked, that's when his family got involved and put him in a home. People who have dementia do some really strange stuff.


That was my first thought as well.
 
2014-06-10 07:09:10 PM

Shazam999: She doesn't look too bad for a 70 year old.  Looks like masturbating all the time really is a fountain of youth.


I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!
 
2014-06-10 07:16:14 PM

Precision Boobery: Shazam999: She doesn't look too bad for a 70 year old.  Looks like masturbating all the time really is a fountain of youth.

Ew.  Is that a separate charge?


Yeah. She charges $25 extra for that.
 
2014-06-10 07:31:07 PM
She must really be hitting the hormones, because otherwise I can't imagine why a 70-year-old woman would have much interest in doing it herself, let alone involving a five-year-old.

What's even weirder is that that child said the woman never touched her, but then the article mentions that all touching was over clothing so that reduced the charges. Huh?
 
2014-06-10 07:32:37 PM

Cytokine Storm: Shazam999: She doesn't look too bad for a 70 year old.  Looks like masturbating all the time really is a fountain of youth.

I'M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!


YEAH, YOU AND ABOUT 99% OF FARK USERS, TOO! HOORAY!

/sticky keyboard
 
2014-06-10 07:52:37 PM

silvervial: She must really be hitting the hormones, because otherwise I can't imagine why a 70-year-old woman would have much interest in doing it herself, let alone involving a five-year-old.

What's even weirder is that that child said the woman never touched her, but then the article mentions that all touching was over clothing so that reduced the charges. Huh?


Sex drive doesn't always correlate well with age. Lots of nursing homes have problems because they have strict no-sex policies and the patients don't give a damn about the rules.

We have this fiction that old people have no sex drive and it is totally not true. An old guy may have erectile problems but it doesn't mean the urge goes away. It drops with age typically, and women's sex drives tend to increase. People just learn from experience that old folks aren't desirable sex partners for the younger set (though old man-young woman is sort of an exception in some cases) and so keep it to themselves.

Senior sexuality is a huge issue because often they are deprived of it by rules made by others who don't consider that it is important to quality of life in many cases.
 
2014-06-10 08:00:11 PM
So dry humping is ok.
 
2014-06-10 08:08:46 PM

Dragonflew: [media.wfaa.com image 600x338]

One more inch on each side and her jaw is going to FALL RIGHT OFF.


When FSM made her, he needed some extra space for her mouth so he took it from between her eyes.  She's about smidge away from being a Cyclops.
 
2014-06-10 08:39:11 PM

missmez: Atomic Spunk: I wonder if it's dementia? csb...When I lived with my parents, we had a neighbor who was a really nice guy. He lived a few doors down from us, and he had never shown any signs of weirdness. He had 3 kids of his own who were by all appearances, very well-adjusted. When he retired at 68, he started to behave oddly. He used to be very tidy, but then started to leave stuff out in his front yard like clothes, food and books. When he started to wander out into the neighborhood with only his underwear, then later completely naked, that's when his family got involved and put him in a home. People who have dementia do some really strange stuff.

That was my first thought as well.


Many, many years ago, Ma worked at a retirement home.  One of the things she had to deal with was how some of the elders did things like this.  One thing some had in common was how their actions were opposite what they used to do.

One time, I walked over there (It was only about a few blocks from home) to wait for her to get off work.  I was in the main TV room, with a couple of old men, watching Dragnet on Nick At Nite.  Apparently, one of the ladies had walked in behind us, and started to undress, but one of the other workers caught her in time and took her back to her room.  Ma laughed about it later, "You three old men were too busy watching your shows to even know she was getting naked behind you."  According to the woman's family, she was a prim and proper woman back in her younger days.

Another time, on the news there was a story about an old man who wandered away from his rest home during a heavy cold snap.  When they found his body the next day, he was naked, and that's when Ma mentioned how they do the opposite sometimes.  He was cold, and in his state, he tried to get warm, and instead of layering up, he stripped down.  All I said was "Does this mean he died from Indecent Exposure?"  She was mixing biscuit dough at the time, and I nearly got a wooden spoon upside my head for that one.
 
2014-06-11 01:55:05 AM

Optimal_Illusion: Another time, on the news there was a story about an old man who wandered away from his rest home during a heavy cold snap.  When they found his body the next day, he was naked, and that's when Ma mentioned how they do the opposite sometimes.  He was cold, and in his state, he tried to get warm, and instead of layering up, he stripped down.  All I said was "Does this mean he died from Indecent Exposure?"  She was mixing biscuit dough at the time, and I nearly got a wooden spoon upside my head for that one.


Some folk'd say you are an inhuman, unfeeling beast to make that comment...not this guy, though.

lol
 
2014-06-11 10:23:08 AM

ReverendJynxed: So dry humping is ok.


No, it violates rule #7

/well, the old rules anyway
//I wonder who would get this
///slashies in triplicate
 
2014-06-11 11:43:29 AM

Optimal_Illusion: missmez: Atomic Spunk: I wonder if it's dementia? csb...When I lived with my parents, we had a neighbor who was a really nice guy. He lived a few doors down from us, and he had never shown any signs of weirdness. He had 3 kids of his own who were by all appearances, very well-adjusted. When he retired at 68, he started to behave oddly. He used to be very tidy, but then started to leave stuff out in his front yard like clothes, food and books. When he started to wander out into the neighborhood with only his underwear, then later completely naked, that's when his family got involved and put him in a home. People who have dementia do some really strange stuff.

That was my first thought as well.

Many, many years ago, Ma worked at a retirement home.  One of the things she had to deal with was how some of the elders did things like this.  One thing some had in common was how their actions were opposite what they used to do.

One time, I walked over there (It was only about a few blocks from home) to wait for her to get off work.  I was in the main TV room, with a couple of old men, watching Dragnet on Nick At Nite.  Apparently, one of the ladies had walked in behind us, and started to undress, but one of the other workers caught her in time and took her back to her room.  Ma laughed about it later, "You three old men were too busy watching your shows to even know she was getting naked behind you."  According to the woman's family, she was a prim and proper woman back in her younger days.

Another time, on the news there was a story about an old man who wandered away from his rest home during a heavy cold snap.  When they found his body the next day, he was naked, and that's when Ma mentioned how they do the opposite sometimes.  He was cold, and in his state, he tried to get warm, and instead of layering up, he stripped down.  All I said was "Does this mean he died from Indecent Exposure?"  She was mixing biscuit dough at the time, and I nearly got a wooden spoon upside ...


Biscuits should be mixed with a fork, not a wooden spoon.....
 
2014-06-11 01:05:36 PM

i.r.id10t: Optimal_Illusion: missmez: Atomic Spunk: I wonder if it's dementia? csb...When I lived with my parents, we had a neighbor who was a really nice guy. He lived a few doors down from us, and he had never shown any signs of weirdness. He had 3 kids of his own who were by all appearances, very well-adjusted. When he retired at 68, he started to behave oddly. He used to be very tidy, but then started to leave stuff out in his front yard like clothes, food and books. When he started to wander out into the neighborhood with only his underwear, then later completely naked, that's when his family got involved and put him in a home. People who have dementia do some really strange stuff.

That was my first thought as well.

Many, many years ago, Ma worked at a retirement home.  One of the things she had to deal with was how some of the elders did things like this.  One thing some had in common was how their actions were opposite what they used to do.

One time, I walked over there (It was only about a few blocks from home) to wait for her to get off work.  I was in the main TV room, with a couple of old men, watching Dragnet on Nick At Nite.  Apparently, one of the ladies had walked in behind us, and started to undress, but one of the other workers caught her in time and took her back to her room.  Ma laughed about it later, "You three old men were too busy watching your shows to even know she was getting naked behind you."  According to the woman's family, she was a prim and proper woman back in her younger days.

Another time, on the news there was a story about an old man who wandered away from his rest home during a heavy cold snap.  When they found his body the next day, he was naked, and that's when Ma mentioned how they do the opposite sometimes.  He was cold, and in his state, he tried to get warm, and instead of layering up, he stripped down.  All I said was "Does this mean he died from Indecent Exposure?"  She was mixing biscuit dough at the time, and I nearly got a w ...


Yeah.  Then his mother could have REALLY forked him up.
 
2014-06-11 04:51:57 PM

i.r.id10t: Biscuits should be mixed with a fork, not a wooden spoon.....


She was just getting the stuff together before she really went to work with her hands.
 
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