Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC News)   Study reveals that the only birth control method used by 12% of women is to rely on their old man to pull out, assuming the phone doesn't startle him or something   (nbcnews.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

1129 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Jun 2014 at 11:21 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-06-10 10:05:41 AM  
TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.
 
2014-06-10 11:24:28 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.


My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.
 
2014-06-10 11:29:45 AM  
This is why I support abortion up to the 27th trimester.
 
2014-06-10 11:30:57 AM  
We tried doing this after using condoms for years, pregnant within a month.

My swimmers were clearly pissed.
 
2014-06-10 11:32:54 AM  
Well, at least the trailer park rednecks get to finish inside.
 
2014-06-10 11:34:42 AM  

Crudbucket: InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.

My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.


Ok, that made me laugh.
 
2014-06-10 11:35:07 AM  

Bareefer Obonghit: This is why I support abortion up to the 27th trimester.


So you murder 4yr olds?
 
2014-06-10 11:37:42 AM  

Crudbucket: InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.

My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.


HEY-O!
 
2014-06-10 11:44:58 AM  
My wife and I don't use protection and have not had any unintentional pregnancies (2 intentional ones though). It helps that she only ovulates 3-4 times a year due to PCOS.
 
2014-06-10 11:47:01 AM  
I know so many couples who are too Catholic to use birth control, but not so Catholic as to avoid premarital sex.

It ends about as one would expect.
 
2014-06-10 11:47:20 AM  
First, I love my eldest son very, very much.

Second, as someone duped into natural family planning (Hey, I wanted to believe), she was pregnant immediately, when we had been using real forms of birth control prior to that.

At least we were already engaged.

2 boys now, second was more planned, and no more kids for me.

//If you're done, get the snip snip.  Best thing ever.  Saves you a ton of money on condoms and birth control.
//TMI I know.
 
2014-06-10 11:47:31 AM  

Crudbucket: InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.

My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.


Old jokes are the best. I heard it this way.

An Irish woman, and an English woman are in a garden having tea. The Irish woman mock complains about her 14 kids. "I seem to get pregnant every time we have sex." The English woman looks at her son playing in the distance, "I know what you mean."
 
2014-06-10 11:47:42 AM  
And sometimes it really is the women, not the men, who are against using condoms, despite that popular myth that it's always the guy who says no.  I'm OK with using condoms, sure, not using them is better but I am happy to use them rather than risk an unwanted pregnancy.  And I have actually been pretty much shouted at for suggesting the use of one.
 
2014-06-10 11:48:59 AM  

Crudbucket: InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.

My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.


LOL.  Almost made me spit-take.
 
2014-06-10 11:51:11 AM  

hammer85: We tried doing this after using condoms for years, pregnant within a month.

My swimmers were clearly pissed.


This was pretty much our experience also: always at least a condom.  First month of trying for a baby: pregnant.  Both times.  Which was a little disappointing; I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).  So considering the effectiveness of my swimmers it looks like if I ever want to ditch the condom I'm going to have to get snipped.
 
2014-06-10 11:51:22 AM  

meat0918: //If you're done, get the snip snip. Best thing ever. Saves you a ton of money on condoms and birth control.


No side effects from the snip snip?  Also, birth control is free now.  Thanks Obama.
 
2014-06-10 11:52:05 AM  

Lord Dimwit: I know so many couples who are too Catholic to use birth control, but not so Catholic as to avoid premarital sex.

It ends about as one would expect.


Worked out fine for us. See my previous post for why.
 
2014-06-10 11:57:53 AM  

cgraves67: My wife and I don't use protection and have not had any unintentional pregnancies (2 intentional ones though). It helps that she only ovulates 3-4 times a year due to PCOS.


I was in the same boat.  Had two kids with an ever escalating cocktail of metformin and clomed and a near libedo killing "the calander says today so NOW, perform little monkey"....  And then number 3 with no trying.  Percieved infertility really is not a recomended form of birth control.
 
2014-06-10 12:01:19 PM  
I just stick it in her pooper.
 
2014-06-10 12:01:23 PM  

usttsdw: Bareefer Obonghit: This is why I support abortion up to the 27th trimester.

So you murder 4yr olds?


It's not murder. It's a return policy. All the best companies have them.
 
2014-06-10 12:10:01 PM  

Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).


You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.
 
2014-06-10 12:11:57 PM  

Enfenestrate: Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).

You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.


They could be catholic
 
2014-06-10 12:12:42 PM  

Enfenestrate: Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).

You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.


Tell that too my wife.
 
2014-06-10 12:12:55 PM  
I would never recommend this, but it's suposedly about as effective as condoms on pregnancy (and that's not just per TFA).

I've always thought those numbers might have a statistical error in them though, along the lines of not counting certain failures.

Would a pregnancy resulting from, say, not withdrawing in time be ruled out as "user failure"? ("You didn't do it right, so it's not representative.")

Or would it be counted toward the overall failure rate of the method?  ("You didn't do it right, but that's something that can happen when you attempt this.")

Of course there is also the guy who says he's going to withdraw, but then finishes. ("This is a crime in Sweden, Mr. Assange.")
 
2014-06-10 12:13:45 PM  

Enfenestrate: Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).

You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.


My wife is pregnant right now and I'm learning that "you can have sex during pregnancy" does not in any way mean "you will have sex during pregnancy."

Because you won't.
 
2014-06-10 12:15:27 PM  

foo monkey: meat0918: //If you're done, get the snip snip. Best thing ever. Saves you a ton of money on condoms and birth control.

No side effects from the snip snip?  Also, birth control is free now.  Thanks Obama.


Aside from having to wait to heal and I thought the general soreness lasted longer than I thought it should, there was nothing noticeable once past that.
 
2014-06-10 12:17:55 PM  

foo monkey: meat0918: //If you're done, get the snip snip. Best thing ever. Saves you a ton of money on condoms and birth control.

No side effects from the snip snip?  Also, birth control is free now.  Thanks Obama.


While yes, thank you Obama, I am irked that vasectomies aren't mandated to be covered by insurance under Obamacare like hormonal birth control and tubal ligation. I dunno what the reasoning was on that front.

(I'd rather get a vasectomy than have my wife have to take birth control every day or undergo surgery.)

(Which is to say, as soon as this second child survives infancy...snip snip.)
 
2014-06-10 12:18:59 PM  

foo monkey: Crudbucket: InterruptingQuirk: TMI time. Worked for us for ~10 years before we stopped trying not to have kids and had five of them without trying not to have them.

My wife and I have used this method our whole marriage, and we didn't get pregnant either time.

LOL.  Almost made me spit-take.


That method would have also been effective.
 
2014-06-10 12:19:43 PM  

hammer85: Enfenestrate: Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).

You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.

Tell that too my wife.


I do, she always agrees with me.  Don't see the problem.
 
2014-06-10 12:25:15 PM  
The planet is already overpopulated. If you truly care about your kids, only have one.
 
2014-06-10 12:28:05 PM  
Luckily, I can't get a Kleenex pregnant.
 
2014-06-10 12:31:37 PM  

Lord Dimwit: While yes, thank you Obama, I am irked that vasectomies aren't mandated to be covered by insurance under Obamacare like hormonal birth control and tubal ligation. I dunno what the reasoning was on that front.


Wanting to do right to the womens rights advocates (pandering) while not thinking the whole thing through.
 
2014-06-10 12:39:02 PM  
I refer to this as "The money-shot method" and if you're not too worried about having kids, it's awesome.

/ 3 kids.
 
2014-06-10 12:39:32 PM  

foo monkey: meat0918: //If you're done, get the snip snip. Best thing ever. Saves you a ton of money on condoms and birth control.

No side effects from the snip snip?  Also, birth control is free now.  Thanks Obama.


For me, the only side effects were awesome. Sex without a condom, wife not taking the pill (hormones farked with her), and no chance of pregnancy. We had our two boys, and that's all we wanted but we both like the sexy time a lot.

As previous farker said....Best thing ever.
 
2014-06-10 12:40:53 PM  
Lord Dimwit:

(I'd rather get a vasectomy than have my wife have to take birth control every day or undergo surgery.)

(Which is to say, as soon as this second child survives infancy...snip snip.)


if you're done having kids, the snip is the best thing to do.  I would give some advice if you are planning to have it done in the near future.
1. Ask your urologist to prescribe an anti anxiety med before.  A couple valium make for an easier ride.
2. If you don't have any around the house, pick up some boxer briefs or some good old tighty whitey's  the first few days you don't want the guys swinging.  Boxers don't help.
3. The doc may want to drum up conversation during the procedure, don't look at him or the instrument tray.  You don't want to know what the crochet hook is for.

the rest is easy peasy...
 
2014-06-10 12:41:28 PM  

James Rieper: I would never recommend this, but it's suposedly about as effective as condoms on pregnancy (and that's not just per TFA).

I've always thought those numbers might have a statistical error in them though, along the lines of not counting certain failures.

Would a pregnancy resulting from, say, not withdrawing in time be ruled out as "user failure"? ("You didn't do it right, so it's not representative.")

Or would it be counted toward the overall failure rate of the method?  ("You didn't do it right, but that's something that can happen when you attempt this.")

Of course there is also the guy who says he's going to withdraw, but then finishes. ("This is a crime in Sweden, Mr. Assange.")


I think it's 70 percent when you do it wrong.

There is still a small chance when you do it right, depending on how much "pre" fluid you expel as that can contain sperm.
 
2014-06-10 12:43:54 PM  
i29.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-10 12:44:07 PM  

severedtoe: Lord Dimwit:

(I'd rather get a vasectomy than have my wife have to take birth control every day or undergo surgery.)

(Which is to say, as soon as this second child survives infancy...snip snip.)

if you're done having kids, the snip is the best thing to do.  I would give some advice if you are planning to have it done in the near future.
1. Ask your urologist to prescribe an anti anxiety med before.  A couple valium make for an easier ride.
2. If you don't have any around the house, pick up some boxer briefs or some good old tighty whitey's  the first few days you don't want the guys swinging.  Boxers don't help.
3. The doc may want to drum up conversation during the procedure, don't look at him or the instrument tray.  You don't want to know what the crochet hook is for.

the rest is easy peasy...


Two things:

1. My wife's father had his vasectomy performed by his own father (a surgeon). Awkward.

2. After reading your response, and given the subject matter, I giggled like a little girl when I saw your Fark handle.
 
2014-06-10 12:44:48 PM  

severedtoe: Lord Dimwit:

(I'd rather get a vasectomy than have my wife have to take birth control every day or undergo surgery.)

(Which is to say, as soon as this second child survives infancy...snip snip.)

if you're done having kids, the snip is the best thing to do.  I would give some advice if you are planning to have it done in the near future.
1. Ask your urologist to prescribe an anti anxiety med before.  A couple valium make for an easier ride.
2. If you don't have any around the house, pick up some boxer briefs or some good old tighty whitey's  the first few days you don't want the guys swinging.  Boxers don't help.
3. The doc may want to drum up conversation during the procedure, don't look at him or the instrument tray.  You don't want to know what the crochet hook is for.

the rest is easy peasy...


And when they recommend that you don't have sex for at least two weeks, they really farking mean it. I felt perfectly fine around the one week mark. Convinced myself that I was good to go around day 9 or 10. I didn't think my cunning plan through. Ball sack swelled up like a grapefruit and I had to break out the frozen bag of peas again.

I got better.
 
2014-06-10 12:47:54 PM  

Cortez the Killer: severedtoe: Lord Dimwit:

(I'd rather get a vasectomy than have my wife have to take birth control every day or undergo surgery.)

(Which is to say, as soon as this second child survives infancy...snip snip.)

if you're done having kids, the snip is the best thing to do.  I would give some advice if you are planning to have it done in the near future.
1. Ask your urologist to prescribe an anti anxiety med before.  A couple valium make for an easier ride.
2. If you don't have any around the house, pick up some boxer briefs or some good old tighty whitey's  the first few days you don't want the guys swinging.  Boxers don't help.
3. The doc may want to drum up conversation during the procedure, don't look at him or the instrument tray.  You don't want to know what the crochet hook is for.

the rest is easy peasy...

And when they recommend that you don't have sex for at least two weeks, they really farking mean it. I felt perfectly fine around the one week mark. Convinced myself that I was good to go around day 9 or 10. I didn't think my cunning plan through. Ball sack swelled up like a grapefruit and I had to break out the frozen bag of peas again.

I got better.


Yeah, but...

i12.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-10 12:49:56 PM  
I would hope that your daughter/wife/sister/mother's brother would have the decency to either wipe their face off or swallow before muff diving on another girl.
 
2014-06-10 01:11:29 PM  
I just spray my quart of goo on her face. Isn't that the traditional way?
 
2014-06-10 01:16:25 PM  

Enfenestrate: Zoidfarb: I would have liked to keep trying for another month or so (for fun).

You're generally allowed to have sex during your pregnancy. It's not like once you're pregnant you can't have fun any more.


As it turns out my wife was sick for all of both pregnancies.  That's the kind of thing that interferes with sexy times.
 
2014-06-10 01:20:53 PM  
The wife was on the pill for many a year without issue (except low sex drive). When we decided to have boy she went off the pill and I though, "Hey, her drive should go up and we'll have a few months of fun."  Yeah, it didn't work like that. When she went off the pill she got pregnant within a week and her drive bottomed out during the whole pregnancy.

We're not sure if we'll have another at this point but when we're done I'm definitely getting the snip (or similar).
 
2014-06-10 01:34:37 PM  

ampoliros: The wife was on the pill for many a year without issue (except low sex drive). When we decided to have boy she went off the pill and I though, "Hey, her drive should go up and we'll have a few months of fun."  Yeah, it didn't work like that. When she went off the pill she got pregnant within a week and her drive bottomed out during the whole pregnancy.

We're not sure if we'll have another at this point but when we're done I'm definitely getting the snip (or similar).


Yep. My wife went off the pill and we thought we'd have some time to have fun and do whatever. Nope. She was pregnant within a month.

In retrospect, it was awesome.
 
2014-06-10 01:39:03 PM  

ampoliros: The wife was on the pill for many a year without issue (except low sex drive). When we decided to have boy she went off the pill and I though, "Hey, her drive should go up and we'll have a few months of fun."  Yeah, it didn't work like that. When she went off the pill she got pregnant within a week and her drive bottomed out during the whole pregnancy.

We're not sure if we'll have another at this point but when we're done I'm definitely getting the snip (or similar).


Chop?
 
2014-06-10 01:42:16 PM  
I just got the call from my urologist this morning. Lab results are in, and the vasectomy did what it was supposed to. I'm free and clear, baby!  Before that?

i.ytimg.com
 
2014-06-10 01:51:53 PM  

zarberg: The planet is already overpopulated. If you truly care about your kids, only have one.


no.  it is not.
 
2014-06-10 01:52:31 PM  
I lived with a girl for two years that was on the pill. Still always made me wear a condom.
 
2014-06-10 01:56:03 PM  

zarberg: The planet is already overpopulated. If you truly care about your kids, only have one.


I don't care about other people's kids, how about some of them have zero?
 
Displayed 50 of 87 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report