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(Buzzfeed)   Well, we can't do anything to stop school shootings. But we CAN buy our kids $1,000 bulletproof blankets to carry everywhere   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 177
    More: Spiffy  
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3785 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2014 at 3:51 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-10 01:01:16 AM
Hookers and blow
 
2014-06-10 01:11:15 AM
Morphine and Heroin. At least it'll deaden the pain. And heroin will conveniently kill the kid before the shooter does.
 
2014-06-10 01:14:49 AM
This has to be one of the stupidest f*cking ideas I've ever seen. And this is Fark, FFS. That's saying a lot.
 
2014-06-10 01:38:20 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: This has to be one of the stupidest f*cking ideas I've ever seen. And this is Fark, FFS. That's saying a lot.


I dunno, is it worse than the bulletproof backpacks?
 
2014-06-10 02:06:03 AM
Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.
 
2014-06-10 02:41:56 AM
This is way better than steel-top desks the kids could hide under.
 
2014-06-10 02:45:13 AM

staplermofo: This is way better than steel-top desks the kids could hide under.


Steel top desks would be awesome. I don't care if it's thick enough to stop anything, but I want one.
 
2014-06-10 02:51:42 AM

doglover: Steel top desks would be awesome. I don't care if it's thick enough to stop anything, but I want one.


When I was a kid my dad and I took home a bunch of furniture a bank was threw out.  I got a desk with a steel top and it was just the best desk ever.  It was really heavy so I didn't take it with me.  Sometimes I consider getting "you should have kept the desk" tattooed on my wrist in a cool-looking language, so I'll never forget.
 
2014-06-10 03:04:14 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: This has to be one of the stupidest f*cking ideas I've ever seen. And this is Fark, FFS. That's saying a lot.


Amen
 
2014-06-10 03:08:09 AM
This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.
 
2014-06-10 03:15:03 AM

doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.


Yeah you know so much about America, that's why you live in another country 1000's of miles away.

TOP LEL
 
2014-06-10 03:58:08 AM
After testing the blanket at a shooting range, the makers said it provided protection against bullets from a 12-gauge buckshot, a .22-caliber, and a 9 mm, among others.

Ooooh, impressive.
 
2014-06-10 03:58:55 AM
Do they come with targets painted on them?
 
2014-06-10 04:01:17 AM
What kids really need is the 3rd level Decoy plasmid, the one that drains hit points from the attacker.
 
2014-06-10 04:02:10 AM
 
2014-06-10 04:03:15 AM
The company estimates that the blanket can provide protection against 90% of all weapons that have been used in school shootings in the U.S.

...but not the Sandy Hook weapon which allegedly inspired this.  Sounds like all this dude invented was a way to prey on the insecurities of parents at $1000/child.
 
2014-06-10 04:03:45 AM
This has to be some kind of twisted NRA humor and not real, right? Right? Some dick gun company CEO is sitting there smoking a cuban and laughing, hoping every school in 'murca gets forced to buy thousands of them.
 
2014-06-10 04:05:59 AM

mr lawson: for some reason this seems appropriate. lol

You're a sick sort of person.

*adds to favorites*

+1
 
2014-06-10 04:06:11 AM
Why do the rest of us care so much about random ass kids dying? Waaaa there will be less adults for us to hate in the future... Meh...

Kids are a renewable resource - major school shooting? - meh, let's just fark again. I mean, really - at the end of the day what is truly lost?

/waaaaa
 
2014-06-10 04:11:15 AM
The manufacturer is also claiming these ballistic blankets are better than nothing to protect kids from tornadoes. No seriously; they say the material protects the wearer from flying glass and other pointy things in a tornado, it's worth the expense. Somehow I doubt the blankets would protect kids from the walls or ceiling falling down on them, or chunks of masonry flying around at 150mph, but hey, they're cheaper than storm shelters so buy some!
 
2014-06-10 04:11:19 AM

whidbey: doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.

Yeah you know so much about America, that's why you live in another country 1000's of miles away.

TOP LEL


Doglover and I don't always see eye to eye but living abroad doesn't disqualify hum from speaking about America. For that matter, you don't need to be an American-- current resident or expat-- to speak about America.

And he's right about the media vulture culture. The media gives these shooters the "blaze of glory" they seek, and that fuels others suffering from the same mental derangement. Psychologists have been pleading with the press since at least Columbine to stop showing shooter pictures and their manifestos. Funny how you rarely hear those psychologists on air anymore. The media made a conscious choice to sacrifice lives for ratings.

BTW... I had to look up "TOP LEL." You might want to read the second definition on Urban Dictionary (and the first definition for "lel" alone)... and take that infantile shiat back to 4chan and 9gag.
 
2014-06-10 04:12:26 AM

Cbad: Why do the rest of us care so much about random ass kids dying? Waaaa there will be less adults for us to hate in the future... Meh...

Kids are a renewable resource - major school shooting? - meh, let's just fark again. I mean, really - at the end of the day what is truly lost?

/waaaaa


Yawn. Zippo over ten.
 
2014-06-10 04:14:14 AM
This can't be real.

Someone tell me this isn't real.
 
2014-06-10 04:14:17 AM
My son Linus says he's okay with this.
 
2014-06-10 04:14:23 AM
Cheaper than the rifles you dumbasses are biatching about.
 
2014-06-10 04:14:35 AM

Wolf892: Why not make tyke body armour out of the same material they use to make the black boxes for airplanes. That stuff seems indestructible.



They should just make it out of that plastic heat-sealed clam-shell packaging they use for various retail products.   THAT stuff is indestructible.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-10 04:15:36 AM

violentsalvation: This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.


Modify or rebuild schools so that every classroom has a direct door to the outside. Train everyone so that the moment they see some wingnut with a gun, the school empties as fast as possible and all the kids and teachers meet at a rally point a few hundred yards away and around a corner. Rather than trying to shield the kids from bullets, we should be making it easier for them to escape.
 
2014-06-10 04:17:19 AM
The terrorists have won,  hit the reboot button.

/they won years ago
 
2014-06-10 04:17:50 AM

SpdrJay: My son Linus says he's okay with this.


Came here for this, btw. Glad someone finally covered it.

/I was hoping for a Linus jpg, which I can't post on mobile
 
2014-06-10 04:20:16 AM

HotWingAgenda: violentsalvation: This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.

Modify or rebuild schools so that every classroom has a direct door to the outside. Train everyone so that the moment they see some wingnut with a gun, the school empties as fast as possible and all the kids and teachers meet at a rally point a few hundred yards away and around a corner. Rather than trying to shield the kids from bullets, we should be making it easier for them to escape.


I'm not sure any of that would help.  I know the NIU shooting that went down took place in a lecture hall with four exits.
 
2014-06-10 04:20:35 AM

doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.


I'm betting this would change US culture and society,   although it would take decades to do.
 
2014-06-10 04:20:56 AM
"Spiffy"? I'm taking it the Sad tag and the nonexistent "Depressing" tags hung themselves?

Seriously, this is about as stupid as the freaking "bulletproof" backpacks from a while back. This can't even really be described as a blanket IMO either, it's more or less a piece of cardboard they're hiding under that only covers their backs and part of their legs...
 
2014-06-10 04:21:17 AM

HotWingAgenda: violentsalvation: This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.

Modify or rebuild schools so that every classroom has a direct door to the outside. Train everyone so that the moment they see some wingnut with a gun, the school empties as fast as possible and all the kids and teachers meet at a rally point a few hundred yards away and around a corner. Rather than trying to shield the kids from bullets, we should be making it easier for them to escape.


And then the kid who plans to shoot 'em up, who goes to that school and literally knows the drill, booby traps the rally point. Or fakes the initial attack and ambushes them there.

Shelter-in-place (ShIP) plans are the current standard for a reason.
 
2014-06-10 04:24:29 AM

fusillade762: After testing the blanket at a shooting range, the makers said it provided protection against bullets from a 12-gauge buckshot, a .22-caliber, and a 9 mm, among others.

Ooooh, impressive.


Its not bad for a blanket, teach your kid to fold it and keep it facing the gunman.  Then bury/cremate according to your personal custom. Whatever you do, never recognize that the world isn't the way it was when you were five, and NEVER pay for a blackwater operative every 600Ft along the perimeter of your kids school because then you cant afford a farking STADIUM for the football team.  Sleep well.

fark you
 
2014-06-10 04:25:47 AM

Iczer: "Spiffy"? I'm taking it the Sad tag and the nonexistent "Depressing" tags hung themselves?

Seriously, this is about as stupid as the freaking "bulletproof" backpacks from a while back. This can't even really be described as a blanket IMO either, it's more or less a piece of cardboard they're hiding under that only covers their backs and part of their legs...


This. This thing, aside from being useless, is nothing more than a guy who sees a quick way to cash in on people's fears and schools' concerns about not being seen to be "doing enough." I hope he had an initial run of 100,000 made and goes bankrupt when nobody buys them.
 
2014-06-10 04:25:51 AM

HotWingAgenda: violentsalvation: This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.

Modify or rebuild schools so that every classroom has a direct door to the outside. Train everyone so that the moment they see some wingnut with a gun, the school empties as fast as possible and all the kids and teachers meet at a rally point a few hundred yards away and around a corner. Rather than trying to shield the kids from bullets, we should be making it easier for them to escape.


you're joking right?  That's dumber than the blankets. Rebuild every classroom in the country ? Got a trillion or two dollars laying around?
 
2014-06-10 04:27:04 AM

whidbey: doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.

Yeah you know so much about America, that's why you live in another country 1000's of miles away.

TOP LEL


I live in America and I have to mostly agree with doglover - I'd just add one very, very important thing he left out. Mental health care.

We are appallingly shiatty as a country about providing adequate mental health care for our citizens - and shiatty as a society about being open, honest and non-stigmatizing about mental health care issues in general. Our health care in general ought to be single-payer, and mental health care should be included. Behind all of the tragic murder-sprees is someone with mental health issues. Behind huge swaths of the homeless population are mental health care issues. Behind many criminals are mental health care issues.

Too bad Republicans won't let us join the civilized world and have single-payer health care "because soshialisms". But I honestly think it's sorely needed to help our society be healthier and safer in numerous ways.
 
2014-06-10 04:28:16 AM

jmr61: HotWingAgenda: violentsalvation: This is stupid, but I really wonder what the best, realistic measures to take are though. Guns aren't going anywhere, and it seems like the crazies aren't going to get the help they need before they act, since this shiat keep happening. I'm a fark "gun-nut" but I don't necessarily think more guns will do much of anything either (though if teachers want to take on that added responsibility then I'm ok with it if they get the training). I guess better doors? Like fire doors that are triggered by an alarm or a teacher and wired glass so a shooter can't just shoot out a window and jump in? I don't know if that would meet fire code, I honestly doubt it would. And I really frown at the idea of an up-armored classroom, I just don't know what else to do, I'm open to realistic ideas.

Modify or rebuild schools so that every classroom has a direct door to the outside. Train everyone so that the moment they see some wingnut with a gun, the school empties as fast as possible and all the kids and teachers meet at a rally point a few hundred yards away and around a corner. Rather than trying to shield the kids from bullets, we should be making it easier for them to escape.

you're joking right?  That's dumber than the blankets. Rebuild every classroom in the country ? Got a trillion or two dollars laying around?


A trillion or two redesigning and rebuilding all the schools and classrooms in America could be money well spent, for reasons having nothing to do with protection from possible gunmen.
 
2014-06-10 04:28:19 AM

doglover: Banning guns won't work


I'm not actually proposing this as a realistic option (gun culture being what it is, you're never gonna get rid of guns in the US), but other countries, even ones that are culturally very similar, don't have school shootings. The main reason being that it's impossible for a crazy kid to get the sort of weapons that you'd need for one.

...So yeah. I accept that it isn't going to happen and that this is an academic discussion, but we pretty strong evidence that heavily regulating guns would work.
 
2014-06-10 04:28:47 AM

doglover: Change the culture and society will change.


I don't think that's possible.  I can't think of many social engineering projects that have actually worked.  You can make laws and enforce them, like the PC bullshiat, but actually changing society, on purpose and according to a plan?  I dunno, man.  Not really my field, but I'm skeptical.
 
2014-06-10 04:32:01 AM
Stick each kid in his own kid sized, bullet proof hamster ball.  If a gunman does enter the school they can all roll over him until he's dead.
 
2014-06-10 04:32:06 AM

Gunther: doglover: Banning guns won't work

I'm not actually proposing this as a realistic option (gun culture being what it is, you're never gonna get rid of guns in the US), but other countries, even ones that are culturally very similar, don't have school shootings. The main reason being that it's impossible for a crazy kid to get the sort of weapons that you'd need for one.

...So yeah. I accept that it isn't going to happen and that this is an academic discussion, but we pretty strong evidence that heavily regulating guns would work.


How do these kids get farked up?  Should we HEAVILY regulate speech?
 
2014-06-10 04:34:17 AM

mikewadestr: Stick each kid in his own kid sized, bullet proof hamster ball.  If a gunman does enter the school they can all roll over him until he's dead.


What if they kill it?  there was no due process and what if we could have saved it?!

Farking animal!
 
2014-06-10 04:36:56 AM
 'Merica.
 
2014-06-10 04:40:46 AM

doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.


Lol. You think banning people from talking about school shootings will stop them, but gun control won't? Hahahahaha. Classic. Thanks for the laugh.
 
2014-06-10 04:42:19 AM
Adequate security solves ALL of these problems.

There are lots of them (militarily trained) individuals that will accept the job of beating down kids that are problematic and killing those that are a threat.  All you have to come up with is $50k each.  Farking simple.  Fire the football coach.
 
2014-06-10 04:45:11 AM
I'm thinking this might be it. We know that learning suffers when students are anxious about something outside the classroom. So these shields hang on the walls next to their seats, reminding them that indeed the boogie man is out there. I bet Charlotte's Web is now a completely different book from the one I read in 2nd grade.
 
2014-06-10 04:45:47 AM
Seeing as how we've conceded society to the gun fappers - just have the kiddies wear full body armor all the time. They won't be able to run and play, but, hey - they're all fat as hawgs anyway.
 
2014-06-10 04:49:19 AM

Iplaybass: doglover: Stop treating schools like kid jail and the kids won't go crazy.

Stop treating school shooters like idols and publicizing them and their images.

Stop trying to blame inanimate objects for what people do.


You want to stop school shootings? You have to go after the cause. Change the culture and society will change. Banning guns won't work. Arming teachers won't work. But voluntary media blackouts on morons and their manifestos? That will. Stop gloyfying it and it won't attract the glory seeking nut jobs. I know more about the Aurora shooter than Neil Tyson. That should shame the media all the way to their boot heels.

Lol. You think banning people from talking about school shootings will stop them, but gun control won't? Hahahahaha. Classic. Thanks for the laugh.


I came home from Kosovo (where we ENDED their war) to a completely different country, that was 2002, its about time you caught up.
 
2014-06-10 04:54:42 AM

jso2897: Seeing as how we've conceded society to the gun fappers - just have the kiddies wear full body armor all the time. They won't be able to run and play, but, hey - they're all fat as hawgs anyway.


Or you could have 6 men that wear that armor at that school, and never have to worry, much. Aside, who the fark told you that your child wouldn't die before you?!  Only a liar could make that promise.  Only a fool would believe it.
 
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