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(Mirror.co.uk)   Five surprising facts about dolphin sex - or - I accidentally did it on porpoise   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 35
    More: Interesting, bottlenose dolphins, dolphins, porpoises, eels, history of human sexuality, Nottingham Trent University, sexual partner, sexes  
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2746 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Jun 2014 at 10:05 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-09 07:07:12 PM  

i253.photobucket.com

 
2014-06-09 07:23:33 PM  
"David Linden...observed the male bottlenose dolphin had found "perhaps the most creative form of animal masturbation" - wrapping a live wriggling eel around its penis."


OK, that's where I went wrong. The eel should be live.
 
2014-06-09 09:51:48 PM  
6. The noises that dolphins make while having sex were learned from watching Japanese porn.
 
2014-06-09 10:10:02 PM  
They left out the rape and prehensile writhing penis.
 
2014-06-09 10:14:09 PM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-09 10:16:13 PM  

FoonFlake: "David Linden...observed the male bottlenose dolphin had found "perhaps the most creative form of animal masturbation" - wrapping a live wriggling eel around its penis."


OK, that's where I went wrong. The eel should be live.


And electric.  Electric eels vibrate.
 
2014-06-09 10:17:29 PM  
Loved the headline!

/*golf clap*
 
2014-06-09 10:24:24 PM  
Dolphinsex.org was the funniest website of my childhood, hallowed be its name.
 
2014-06-09 10:25:13 PM  
sea life pr0n?
 
2014-06-09 10:26:10 PM  
There has been a disturbing / amusing / possibly intriguing text file floating about since the USENET days from an admitted dolphin sex fetishist. Evidently dolphins are like Farkers, they'll boink anything! :)
 
2014-06-09 10:27:52 PM  
Anne Beatts: My Blue Heaven.

Check it out.
 
2014-06-09 10:51:47 PM  

FoonFlake: "David Linden...observed the male bottlenose dolphin had found "perhaps the most creative form of animal masturbation"


Perhaps, but chimpanzee + frog is a close second.
 
2014-06-09 10:55:46 PM  
That's an awesome headline.
 
2014-06-09 11:02:22 PM  
mantiseye.com
 
2014-06-09 11:08:14 PM  
Jaden Smith First of His Name:


Dolphinsex.org was the funniest website of my childhood, hallowed be its name.

Pretty sure that's where it ended up, but frighteningly it goes back faaaar further than that.
 
2014-06-09 11:12:32 PM  
80 per cent of their lives in 'sexual play'

If I could...I would.
 
2014-06-09 11:14:39 PM  

rogue49: 80 per cent of their lives in 'sexual play'

If I could...I would.



You know why dogs lick their nuts, and girls play with their boobs, right?
 
2014-06-09 11:40:06 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Dolphinsex.org was the funniest website of my childhood, hallowed be its name.


I'm with you. I don't think I ever laughed as hard, or as long, or as horrified, as when I first came across that site.

And then discovered all the attached sites, like places selling dildos shaped like dolphin penises, and etc, hah.
 
2014-06-09 11:44:33 PM  
Five surprising facts about dolphin sex - or - I accidentally did it on porpoise

Am I the only one who read that in William Conrad's voice, like in a Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon?
"A man, a Plan, a Canal; or, I'm dreaming of a Wide Isthmus!"
 
2014-06-09 11:49:24 PM  
Am I the only Farker who read Wet Goddess?
 
2014-06-10 12:03:36 AM  
stream1.gifsoup.com

You looking for a good beej there sailor?
 
2014-06-10 12:12:51 AM  
7: Dolphins give head with their blowholes.
 
2014-06-10 12:41:46 AM  

Ed Grubermann: 7: Dolphins give head with their blowholes.


This post needed to be paired with the picture above it.. .
 
2014-06-10 12:54:59 AM  

neongoats: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Dolphinsex.org was the funniest website of my childhood, hallowed be its name.

I'm with you. I don't think I ever laughed as hard, or as long, or as horrified, as when I first came across that site.

And then discovered all the attached sites, like places selling dildos shaped like dolphin penises, and etc, hah.


I'm just glad I'm not the only one who stumbled across that somehow and thought it was a fine example of all that is right and wrong with the internet.

\Careful, dolphin orgasms are very strong
 
2014-06-10 01:01:37 AM  
Ok ok ok. Hypothetical. Show of hands, and be honest. If tomorrow dolphins were suddenly "on level" with humans as far as being sapient, talk, think, basic human rights etc. Doesn't matter how, say a wizard did it, or we met dolphin aliens, the idea is that they're now "people." Would you bang one?
 
2014-06-10 01:15:32 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Ok ok ok. Hypothetical. Show of hands, and be honest. If tomorrow dolphins were suddenly "on level" with humans as far as being sapient, talk, think, basic human rights etc. Doesn't matter how, say a wizard did it, or we met dolphin aliens, the idea is that they're now "people." Would you bang one?


30 years ago, probably. Now? Meh.
 
2014-06-10 02:16:23 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Ok ok ok. Hypothetical. Show of hands, and be honest. If tomorrow dolphins were suddenly "on level" with humans as far as being sapient, talk, think, basic human rights etc. Doesn't matter how, say a wizard did it, or we met dolphin aliens, the idea is that they're now "people." Would you bang one?


She gotta have-a big-a tits-a. Big-a ones like-a that? You can-a dig it? A big-a tits-a boomba boom boom. Ha ha!
 
2014-06-10 02:17:24 AM  

cendojr: neongoats: Jaden Smith First of His Name: Dolphinsex.org was the funniest website of my childhood, hallowed be its name.

I'm with you. I don't think I ever laughed as hard, or as long, or as horrified, as when I first came across that site.

And then discovered all the attached sites, like places selling dildos shaped like dolphin penises, and etc, hah.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who stumbled across that somehow and thought it was a fine example of all that is right and wrong with the internet.

\Careful, dolphin orgasms are very strong


Always knew I was in good company on Fark.
That site was both disturbing and fascinating at the same time. I remember being completely disgusted with what I was reading, and yet I couldn't stop reading it.
 
2014-06-10 03:07:08 AM  

wildcardjack: They left out the rape and prehensile writhing penis.


Yeah, they were a bit coy when it came to the gangs of dolphins who "protect" females from other gangs.
 
2014-06-10 07:26:04 AM  

Mentalpatient87: Ok ok ok. Hypothetical. Show of hands, and be honest. If tomorrow dolphins were suddenly "on level" with humans as far as being sapient, talk, think, basic human rights etc. Doesn't matter how, say a wizard did it, or we met dolphin aliens, the idea is that they're now "people." Would you bang one?


In Soviet Russia, dolphin bang YOU.
 
2014-06-10 08:50:50 AM  
From TFA:

A study by a Brazilian university found that dolphin intercourse usually lasts for "no more than 10 seconds" but can often be repeated several times within less than an hour.

Somehow the fact that the Brazilians would study this is not surprising to me.
 
2014-06-10 11:12:17 AM  
There was a link on the article about the woman who had sex with a dolphin.

And I'm like


i29.photobucket.com

WHY?! What made me click?!
 
2014-06-10 03:27:59 PM  
Did they mention that a male dolphin's sexual organ is 'spring loaded' and can injure someone who is within range if they aren't careful?
 
2014-06-10 04:33:44 PM  

Bendal: Did they mention that a male dolphin's sexual organ is 'spring loaded' and can injure someone who is within range if they aren't careful?


Now I know how grandpa really lost that eye. He wasn't even in the war!
 
2014-06-10 05:41:03 PM  
Very old news. I first read this story in a Hustler magazine in the late '70s.

/not a joke.
 
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