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(Think Progress)   Congressman: Well, if humans are the cause of global warming, then how did dinosaurs go extinct? Checkmate   (thinkprogress.org) divider line 65
    More: Obvious, global warming, extinction of the dinosaurs, NCA, climate change denial  
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2854 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Jun 2014 at 6:54 PM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-09 06:41:45 PM
15 votes:
I know you're being snarky, subby, but the sad truth is that when snark begins to obscure an important truth, it ceases to be funny and begins to be sad. You see, the truth is that global warming  did kill the dinosaurs, but it was a different kind of global warming than what is killing us. You see,  ourglobal warming is caused by burning fossil fuels, which are called fossil fuels because -- and if you didn't know this before, it may stun you, but I really want to help you understand this cycle --  the fuel actually comes from dinosaur fossils. That's right. The dinosaurs died millions of years ago, and their bones turned into carbon, and some of that carbon turned into diamonds and the rest turned into oil.

But dinosaurs were cold-blooded, you might say.  Why would burning their fossils make it hot?

That's a good question, and the answer is because of geological pressure. See, the dinosaurs' fossils went underground after they died. Sometimes they were buried in landslides and things, and sometimes they drowned and the lake dried up and filled with dirt. Irregardless, once their bones got buried, all that dirt on top of them compressed them and made them warmer (this was also caused by the fossils being closer to the magma, which I'll explain in the next paragraph). This is why it gets hot when you burn them.

Now, obviously, the dinosaurs didn't cause their global warming by burning fossil fuels. It would be stupid to even suggest that, because back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there weren't any fossils yet. They hadn't died off! No, what happened to the dinosaurs had more to do with  geology than anything else. You see, what you have to understand is that the earth was younger back then, only a few thousand years old. And, like all young things (children, puppies, etc.), it wasn't completely stable. Its crust hadn't hardened all the way. Did you know the earth has a crust? It does -- it has a very thin surface of rocks and dirt and grass that we walk on, but underneath that is a boiling mass of magma, which is like rocks except on fire. So back in the days of the dinosaurs, the earth's crust was very brittle, sort of like a pie that's been baking for a while, where the crust looks crispy, but is really very thin and prone to cracking.

So, imagine it...you've got a young, brittle, fragile earth with a very thin crust, and lots of dinosaurs that keep getting bigger and bigger. Huge, in fact -- I mean, they went from little amphibians  that weren't much bigger than chickens to brontosauruses and t-rexes. So what do you think happened when all those huge beasts started stomping around on the earth's brittle crust?

That's right --  geological events. You've heard of them -- earthquakes, landslides, volcanic eruptions. And whenever one of these would happen, the dinosaurs would get scared, which ironically would make them run even faster, which in turn caused even  moregeological disruptions -- what scientists call a "feedback loop." So basically the dinosaurs stomped and stampeded around enough that the whole world started erupting, which put lots of smoke and lava into the air, which caused it to get very hot. In other words, global warming. ]

As an example of proof supporting this, here's an artist's rendition of the earliest stages of that massive disaster:  http://www.zmescience.com/science/geology/volcanic-eruption-triassic- e xtinction-22032013/#!WMNdK .

So here we are, then, with the irony of the repetitive nature of history staring us in the face. The dinosaurs caused their own extinction by getting too big, and then failing to recognize that it was their own panicked reaction to the effects that was pushing them into oblivion. And now there's us, all these years later, and we're bringing about our own extinction by becoming too big (as a society) and failing to act in time.  And we're doing it all by burning the very species that went extinct originally. That's irony, subby. That's deep, dirty irony. You don't need snark to make it any more poignant than it is.
2014-06-09 06:01:46 PM
14 votes:
I was bored and playing on GIS. Found this and it gave me a giggle, so I thought I'd share.

thenakedlistener.files.wordpress.com
2014-06-09 06:47:01 PM
12 votes:

jokideo.com

2014-06-09 09:40:58 PM
5 votes:
api.ning.com
2014-06-09 06:50:53 PM
5 votes:
s2.hubimg.com
2014-06-09 05:59:28 PM
5 votes:
mimg.ugo.com

img.photobucket.com

Simpsons did it
2014-06-09 07:37:15 PM
4 votes:
HighOnCraic:

img.fark.net

I'm going to use that line the next time someone tries to tell me about Jesus.
2014-06-09 07:21:45 PM
4 votes:
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-06-09 06:59:15 PM
4 votes:
iconicionic.files.wordpress.com
2014-06-09 05:43:47 PM
4 votes:
A Republican from Florida doesn't understand how science works. News at 11.
2014-06-09 07:31:52 PM
3 votes:

RedVentrue: FTA
"The United Nation's Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change is a massive global effort to compile and analyze climate research by scientists and experts around the world. It found that there is a 95 percent likelihood that human activities drove 74 percent of the observed global warming since 1950."

Bullshiat.


What a great and concise proof that there is no such thing as Climate Change, you have changed my mind.
2014-06-10 03:07:54 AM
2 votes:
Also, there are ways liberals can manipulate 5 into being a larger number than 15. I don't need to cite any sources.

It's common knowledge.
2014-06-09 09:59:03 PM
2 votes:
The dinosaurs were doing fine until one of them decided vaccinations cause autism. Then they were wiped out in a measles epidemic.
2014-06-09 08:40:29 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-06-09 08:01:02 PM
2 votes:

RedVentrue: FTA
"The United Nation's Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change is a massive global effort to compile and analyze climate research by scientists and experts around the world. It found that there is a 95 percent likelihood that human activities drove 74 percent of the observed global warming since 1950."

Bullshiat.


Stayed up all night thinking that one up, did you?
2014-06-09 07:58:25 PM
2 votes:

Corvus: Hey we had fires and things burning down BEFORE man could make fires -> Obviously all the people in prison for arson should be set free!


I have incontrovertible evidence that people die of natural causes. Therefore my client cannot be guilty of murder, as nothing that can happen naturally sometimes can be caused by man in other instances.


/fark lawyering, climate lunatic style, fun for everyone
2014-06-09 07:50:31 PM
2 votes:
thelastofthemillenniums.files.wordpress.com
Sorry Governor, not yet.
2014-06-09 07:35:50 PM
2 votes:

whither_apophis: "Congressman there were no dinosaurs. They are fakes put there by Satan to lead us to sin! Check mate on you, you Pagan!"


i586.photobucket.com
2014-06-09 07:21:35 PM
2 votes:
"While no scientist disputes that the climate has changed in the past, the issue is that heat-trapping greenhouse gases are forcing it to change faster and differently than it would without them.

The argument is, essentially, a non-sequitur."

Only if you're a dipshiat who doesn't know what a non sequitur is.

Now, before the Fark Butthurt Brigade decides that I'm a fundie climate change denier, and before certain trolls/morons on here rally to my cause, allow me to state that I believe that we are affecting our climate. I just don't like it when people lob words or phrases they know nothing about and consider themselves smart.

Of course, the author may have learned literary devices from Alanis Morissette.
2014-06-09 07:21:28 PM
2 votes:
At least he admitted dinosaurs were real. That's a step forward from thinking fossils were planted there by the devil.
2014-06-09 07:19:00 PM
2 votes:
Hey we had fires and things burning down BEFORE man could make fires -> Obviously all the people in prison for arson should be set free!
2014-06-09 07:00:12 PM
2 votes:
Well, at least he admits dinosaurs existed. That's progress, I guess.
2014-06-09 06:51:20 PM
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: I know you're being snarky, subby, but the sad truth is that when snark begins to obscure an important truth, it ceases to be funny and begins to be sad. You see, the truth is that global warming  did kill the dinosaurs, but it was a different kind of global warming than what is killing us. You see,  ourglobal warming is caused by burning fossil fuels, which are called fossil fuels because -- and if you didn't know this before, it may stun you, but I really want to help you understand this cycle --  the fuel actually comes from dinosaur fossils. That's right. The dinosaurs died millions of years ago, and their bones turned into carbon, and some of that carbon turned into diamonds and the rest turned into oil.

But dinosaurs were cold-blooded, you might say.  Why would burning their fossils make it hot?

That's a good question, and the answer is because of geological pressure. See, the dinosaurs' fossils went underground after they died. Sometimes they were buried in landslides and things, and sometimes they drowned and the lake dried up and filled with dirt. Irregardless, once their bones got buried, all that dirt on top of them compressed them and made them warmer (this was also caused by the fossils being closer to the magma, which I'll explain in the next paragraph). This is why it gets hot when you burn them.

Now, obviously, the dinosaurs didn't cause their global warming by burning fossil fuels. It would be stupid to even suggest that, because back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there weren't any fossils yet. They hadn't died off! No, what happened to the dinosaurs had more to do with  geology than anything else. You see, what you have to understand is that the earth was younger back then, only a few thousand years old. And, like all young things (children, puppies, etc.), it wasn't completely stable. Its crust hadn't hardened all the way. Did you know the earth has a crust? It does -- it has a very thin surface of rocks and dirt and grass that we walk on, but underneath that is a boiling mass of magma, which is like rocks except on fire. So back in the days of the dinosaurs, the earth's crust was very brittle, sort of like a pie that's been baking for a while, where the crust looks crispy, but is really very thin and prone to cracking.

So, imagine it...you've got a young, brittle, fragile earth with a very thin crust, and lots of dinosaurs that keep getting bigger and bigger. Huge, in fact -- I mean, they went from little amphibians  that weren't much bigger than chickens to brontosauruses and t-rexes. So what do you think happened when all those huge beasts started stomping around on the earth's brittle crust?

That's right --  geological events. You've heard of them -- earthquakes, landslides, volcanic eruptions. And whenever one of these would happen, the dinosaurs would get scared, which ironically would make them run even faster, which in turn caused even  moregeological disruptions -- what scientists call a "feedback loop." So basically the dinosaurs stomped and stampeded around enough that the whole world started erupting, which put lots of smoke and lava into the air, which caused it to get very hot. In other words, global warming. ]

As an example of proof supporting this, here's an artist's rendition of the earliest stages of that massive disaster:  http://www.zmescience.com/science/geology/volcanic-eruption-triassic- e xtinction-22032013/#!WMNdK .

So here we are, then, with the irony of the repetitive nature of history staring us in the face. The dinosaurs caused their own extinction by getting too big, and then failing to recognize that it was their own panicked reaction to the effects that was pushing them into oblivion. And now there's us, all these years later, and we're bringing about our own extinction by becoming too big (as a society) and failing to act in time.  And we're doing it all by burning the very species that went extinct originally. That's irony, subby. That's deep, dirty irony. You don't need snark to make it any more poignant than it is.


That was beautiful.

/bonus points for using irregardless
2014-06-09 06:19:40 PM
2 votes:
"Then why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Were there men that were causing - were there cars running around at that point that were causing global warming? No,"

Duh, the dinosaurs went extinct because they were made of fossil fuels.
thumbs3.ebaystatic.com
2014-06-09 05:58:50 PM
2 votes:

Aarontology: As Calvin and Hobbes already explained, it was time traveling big game hunters.


WEEP FOR THE DAMAGE THAT OBAMA'S TIME MACHINE HAS CAUSED! WEEEP!
2014-06-09 05:49:08 PM
2 votes:
As Calvin and Hobbes already explained, it was time traveling big game hunters.
2014-06-10 07:24:01 PM
1 votes:
2014-06-10 12:17:32 PM
1 votes:
I'll take a stab at guessing. Since it's dinosaurs, first place goes to Joe Barton. After that, it's

Lynn Westmoreland
Louie Ghomert
Michelle Bachmann
Todd Akin
Vicky Hartzler

*** checks article ***

Damn, six guesses and not even close. But given that it's just run of the mill climate change denialism, and not that very special brand of Stupid trotted out by the the Microcephaly Caucus, I suppose it could really have been any of them.
2014-06-10 09:43:08 AM
1 votes:
Well if human brains are the cause of speech then how are you talking? checkmate

/dnrtfa
2014-06-10 07:54:39 AM
1 votes:
My favorite thing about this thread is the guy who thought that one glacier in the US and literally nowhere else is proof that global warming isn't man made.
2014-06-10 05:07:31 AM
1 votes:
If global warming is real, then why come it snow in January?
2014-06-10 03:21:11 AM
1 votes:

Kittypie070: whidbey: Also, there are ways liberals can manipulate 5 into being a larger number than 15. I don't need to cite any sources.

It's common knowledge.

Dude


What? They're already trying to get us to believe 2+2=5.
there are 4 lights

thedoubtexpress.files.wordpress.com

/Yes I'm on my 3rd Sierra Nevada Torpedo
//why do you arsk?
2014-06-10 02:55:38 AM
1 votes:
Yes, but DO owls exist? I think there are a few people who think there might not be. And if the owls wear hats, that makes them even less likely to exist, especially if we put them in the box with the cat.
2014-06-10 01:01:25 AM
1 votes:

Gyrfalcon: yakmans_dad: spongeboob: And for us to say that it is a settled argument right now I think, again, is a foolish argument to make, because there are scientists on both sides of the issue that say that's it's not settled.

1) You might learn to fly as you leap off a building. It's possible. So, you're going to jump off a building, right? You obviously don't abandon prudence based upon fragments of a possibility in 99.99999999% of your life. Why do you do so regarding AGW?

2) The words "settled argument" are misleading. Science proceeds by evidence. Not argument.  For what issues do you think the evidence is lacking? What evidence do you pose against it? After all scientific skepticism isn't the philosophical skepticism of David Hume or Bishop Berkeley. Science depends upon evidence not the terrier like persistence of a lawyer shaking the last nickel from a sucker.

How did we get to the point in society...I mean society in general...that all it takes is ONE person on the "other side" of an issue for an issue not to be "settled?" I mean, that is acceptable in a court of law in a criminal case, where Beyond a Reasonable Doubt requires that everyone be on the same side of the issue to get a conviction...but science isn't a consensus issue where it only takes two people to hang a jury. Hell, even in a civil case, you only need Preponderance of Evidence, or 51% to win your case--and by that standard, AGW is a clear winner.

Who came up with this asinine idea that as long as someone else is willing to take a contrary opinion, the issue was still up for grabs? Because they need to be found and shot, immediately,


img.fark.net
2014-06-10 12:41:48 AM
1 votes:
Seriously, what is the deal with the increased SH posting?

Is this a sign he's about to burn out or something?
2014-06-10 12:19:30 AM
1 votes:
Well, that's enough of the "Deep Thoughts with Skinny & Chimpy Show". I'm out.
2014-06-10 12:17:26 AM
1 votes:
RINO. Real Republicans believe the earth is only 6000 years old.
2014-06-09 11:46:14 PM
1 votes:
It's amazing and sad how two flaming dipshiats can utterly spoil an otherwise interesting thread.
2014-06-09 11:16:49 PM
1 votes:
i1.ytimg.com

Unavailable for comment.
2014-06-09 11:10:18 PM
1 votes:
Satanic_Hamster: Real reason dinosaurs went extinct:

It was because Adric never learned to type.

31.media.tumblr.com
2014-06-09 11:00:05 PM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Is there a collection, somewhere, of the greatest, stupidest quotations by conservatives? Things on par with this?

/by Liberals, too, if that makes you feel good


A Fark Politics thread?
2014-06-09 10:52:49 PM
1 votes:
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-06-09 10:40:57 PM
1 votes:
"If them Sandy Hook kids were killed by guns, then how do you explain all the children who died before gunpowder was invented?"
2014-06-09 10:15:13 PM
1 votes:

notto: Noam Chimpsky: Global warming has slowed during the last hundred years compared to the previous hundred years ( before cars, industry, etc ).

Glacier Bay, AK..... Checkmate.

No, really, it's checkmate. Go educate yourself on how Glacier Bay came into existence. Hint: It wasn't a bay in 1800. It's empirical evidence that the climate hoaxers are full of shiat and really nothing more need be said.

So, this single data point in a single geological point in the world is a checkmate?  You really don't understand how science works, do you?  Read a book.

You are exactly the same kind of dim thinker as the congressman in the article.


But but but... Books teach communism!
2014-06-09 10:12:09 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: notto: So, this single data point in a single geological point in the world is a checkmate?  You really don't understand how science works, do you?

Maybe he's just really, really bad at chess.


static.guim.co.uk
2014-06-09 10:10:53 PM
1 votes:
Real reason dinosaurs went extinct:
www.blastr.com
2014-06-09 09:37:26 PM
1 votes:

SkinnyHead: The liberal who wrote this article said: "While the implication that natural changes in the earth's climate caused dinosaur extinction is a new one to most people...."  How does she know that it's new to most people?


That was just sloppy on her part

I think she meant not "most people" but "all people who are not farking retarded"
2014-06-09 09:11:56 PM
1 votes:
t2.gstatic.com

I thought they were just cancelled
2014-06-09 09:04:17 PM
1 votes:
imageshack.com
imageshack.com
2014-06-09 08:59:03 PM
1 votes:

SkinnyHead: spongeboob: SkinnyHead: A liberal at Think Progress doesn't understand how science works. News at 11

Do you really believe the crap you post or you some kind of troll performance art?

The liberal who wrote this article said: "While the implication that natural changes in the earth's climate caused dinosaur extinction is a new one to most people...."  How does she know that it's new to most people?  Just because this comes as news to her does not mean that most people don't know it.  That's what I'm getting at.


img.fark.net

Getting a lot of use out of this picture today..

Are you having a stroke? Do you need someone to call your nurse or 911?
2014-06-09 08:12:00 PM
1 votes:
Oh fark me, this asshat is my rep. The morons love him in this godforsaken place.
2014-06-09 08:11:19 PM
1 votes:
thinkprogress.org

Who pissed him off?
2014-06-09 07:55:27 PM
1 votes:
ftv "It's not a settled argument."

Gah! I may never be sober.
2014-06-09 07:47:32 PM
1 votes:

davidhyde: I thought it was gay marriage that killed off the dinosaurs.


It was socialized medicine, Ornithomimacare and it's death panels factored in heavily with increased costs.
2014-06-09 07:42:13 PM
1 votes:
I thought it was gay marriage that killed off the dinosaurs.
2014-06-09 07:29:05 PM
1 votes:
Jesus was one hungry motherfarker after he was resurrected.

That is where the dinos went.
2014-06-09 07:25:56 PM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-06-09 07:09:19 PM
1 votes:

SkinnyHead: A liberal at Think Progress doesn't understand how science works. News at 11


Do you really believe the crap you post or you some kind of troll performance art?
2014-06-09 07:08:32 PM
1 votes:
they got tired of carrying Jebus on their backs
2014-06-09 07:07:27 PM
1 votes:

The GOP, ladies and gentlemen. The GOP.

2014-06-09 07:01:45 PM
1 votes:
"Congressman there were no dinosaurs. They are fakes put there by Satan to lead us to sin! Check mate on you, you Pagan!"
2014-06-09 06:50:37 PM
1 votes:
People die naturally, I guess that means murder is impossible.
wee [TotalFark]
2014-06-09 06:15:38 PM
1 votes:
They evolved to believe in faith-based medicine.
2014-06-09 06:14:10 PM
1 votes:
"Then why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Were there men that were causing - were there cars running around at that point that were causing global warming? No,"

I don't think I've ever actually yelled at the TV before, but I did when I heard this.
2014-06-09 05:57:21 PM
1 votes:
Global warming killed the dinosaurs?  I thought it was a massive ice age.
 
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