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(BBC-US)   Male faces evolved to take punches, making Ted Cruz the perfect man   (bbc.com) divider line 75
    More: Interesting, evolution, Ted Cruz, isotopes of carbon, Bristol Royal Infirmary, great apes, Nutcracker Man  
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6133 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2014 at 11:23 AM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-09 09:57:16 AM
basementrejects.com
 
2014-06-09 11:12:31 AM
mojoimage.com


Indeed. Evolution at its' finest.
 
2014-06-09 11:24:33 AM
Can't ruse the Cruz.
 
2014-06-09 11:24:53 AM
You never got me down, Ray!
 
2014-06-09 11:25:59 AM
The first rule of Evolution Club is you do not talk about Evolution Club.
 
2014-06-09 11:26:41 AM
I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron
 
2014-06-09 11:27:31 AM
img.fark.net

Several studies from hospital emergency wards, including one from the Bristol Royal Infirmary, show that faces are particularly vulnerable to violent injuries.
 
2014-06-09 11:30:19 AM

Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron



www.bolgernow.com

Blue Steel!
 
2014-06-09 11:31:41 AM
You have to have big ears and be able to read from a teleprompter to get elected President in this day and age.
 
2014-06-09 11:34:30 AM
All the cavewoman looked like Raquel Welch so there was a lot of fights.
 
2014-06-09 11:36:30 AM
Or look like an Egyptian pharaoh.
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-09 11:38:12 AM
I'll just leave this right here and go purchase some stock in companies that manufacture monitors...

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-09 11:39:04 AM
There should actually be a "Most Punchable Face" contest on Fark. Post some names, have votination. Come on, you guys, it would be fun!
 
2014-06-09 11:39:18 AM

skinink: The first rule of Evolution Club is you do not talk about Evolution Club.


Evolution Club hates being confused for Natural Selection Club
 
2014-06-09 11:39:22 AM
Then I must suck at evolution because my nose bleeds at the slightest hint of physical conflict. I also have the jaw of a hunter-gatherer according to a different article I read a few days ago (on physical adaptations to agricultural lifestyle). It stated that the development of agriculture made human jaws wider and shorter than before, in order to grind up coarse grains better. Wide, short jaws leave little room for wisdom teeth, so they get impacted. My wisdom teeth came sailing in with hardly any problems, so apparently I have a primitive jaw.
 
2014-06-09 11:40:40 AM
www.okmoviequotes.com
 
2014-06-09 11:41:33 AM

Needlessly Complicated: There should actually be a "Most Punchable Face" contest on Fark.

 
2014-06-09 11:43:02 AM
What did female faces evolve to take?

/runs away.
 
2014-06-09 11:44:27 AM
Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.
 
2014-06-09 11:45:44 AM

Pick: You have to have big ears and be able to read from a teleprompter to get elected President in this day and age.


Deep Contact: Or look like an Egyptian pharaoh.
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 512x410]


I have been around the politics tab too long, mild

This text is now purple: skinink: The first rule of Evolution Club is you do not talk about Evolution Club.

Evolution Club hates being confused for Natural Selection Club


But they both look down on Intelligent Design Club.
 
2014-06-09 11:46:19 AM
Well I screwed that up royally.
 
2014-06-09 11:47:28 AM

Buttknuckle: Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.


The temperature regulating nature of our balls is more important to survival than to not get kicked in the balls.
 
2014-06-09 11:50:21 AM
venturefans.org


/if you get this, I like you just a little bit more.
 
2014-06-09 11:50:31 AM

Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron


Yes, let's choose our leaders on what they look like. How much worse can it get anyway?
 
2014-06-09 11:50:49 AM
static.guim.co.uk

"If evolution weren't a lie straight from the pits of hell, then why haven't men's handbones 'evolved' to punch better?!"
 
2014-06-09 11:51:24 AM
Steve Doocy and Sean Hannity are in the running.
 
2014-06-09 11:51:50 AM

jtown: I'll just leave this right here and go purchase some stock in companies that manufacture monitors...

[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x1274]


Someone could make a fortune selling punching dummies with his face on them.
 
2014-06-09 11:51:53 AM
Good thing no one ever hits women.
 
2014-06-09 11:52:02 AM
news.bbcimg.co.uk

Let's keep Jay Leno out of this.
 
2014-06-09 11:52:59 AM
Read headline as feces instead of faces. Did a GIS for "poo" to make funny comment with pic.

Pro-tip: don't do a GIS for "poo." Just don't.

I need a hug now because my soul hurts.
 
2014-06-09 11:53:10 AM

LrdPhoenix: Buttknuckle: Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.

The temperature regulating nature of our balls is more important to survival than to not get kicked in the balls.


You'd think if we (naturally selectively) learned how to protect against the one trauma, we could have figured out the other. Maybe proto-men held "punch for punch" contests (making the face a more common target during fights than genitals)?

Come to think of it, you rarely see animals go for the junk during fights (I always see them going for the head/neck/throat) - maybe there's an unwritten rule of the animal kingdom somewhat corresponding to the boxing rules?

// I want to think Rochambeau wasn't a thing until after ice-makers were a common consumer item
 
2014-06-09 11:53:20 AM

LrdPhoenix: Buttknuckle: Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.

The temperature regulating nature of our balls is more important to survival than to not get kicked in the balls.


No it's not. But the defense our body has chosen in place of some sort of shielding is to make getting kicked in the balls painful enough that we will go to great lengths to avoid doing it.

After all, our brain is encased in a giant shield and what do we do with it? Use it as a battering ram. Guess what critical body part we're not going to use as a battering ram with the way things are currently set up.
 
2014-06-09 12:00:40 PM

Nix Nightbird: /if you get this, I like you just a little bit more.


I don't think the Venture Brothers perfect man is an obscure reference.
 
2014-06-09 12:00:58 PM
Honest-to-God, I read that as male feces.
 
2014-06-09 12:01:27 PM

Delta1212: LrdPhoenix: Buttknuckle: Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.

The temperature regulating nature of our balls is more important to survival than to not get kicked in the balls.

No it's not. But the defense our body has chosen in place of some sort of shielding is to make getting kicked in the balls painful enough that we will go to great lengths to avoid doing it.

After all, our brain is encased in a giant shield and what do we do with it? Use it as a battering ram. Guess what critical body part we're not going to use as a battering ram with the way things are currently set up.


Speak for yourself. The Mrs, refers to mine as Mr Battering Ram.
 
2014-06-09 12:02:43 PM
a2.files.saymedia-content.com

You'd break your hand hitting that jaw.
 
2014-06-09 12:04:37 PM
In order to complete this assumption about punching, one would have to prove that the human hand has evolved to bludgeon enemies.

So I'm not sure if punch is the right concept.

bigstickcombat.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-06-09 12:06:07 PM
Oh Goshes! We's must'uvs evolved from flat face kid'uns:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-09 12:06:46 PM

letrole: Several studies from hospital emergency wards, including one from the Bristol Royal Infirmary, show that faces are particularly vulnerable to violent injuries.


That's funny since any fist fighter will tell you that the head is the last place you want to target.
 
2014-06-09 12:09:23 PM
Surprised no on posted this one yet.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-09 12:11:05 PM

pueblonative: letrole: Several studies from hospital emergency wards, including one from the Bristol Royal Infirmary, show that faces are particularly vulnerable to violent injuries.

That's funny since any fist fighter will tell you that the head is the last place you want to target.


Not wanting to hurt your own fist is different from caving in someone elses face...
 
2014-06-09 12:11:32 PM

Delta1212: LrdPhoenix: Buttknuckle: Yet our balls hang there for anyone to kick.

The temperature regulating nature of our balls is more important to survival than to not get kicked in the balls.

No it's not. But the defense our body has chosen in place of some sort of shielding is to make getting kicked in the balls painful enough that we will go to great lengths to avoid doing it.

After all, our brain is encased in a giant shield and what do we do with it? Use it as a battering ram. Guess what critical body part we're not going to use as a battering ram with the way things are currently set up.


Not really a defense, and yes the temperature regulation is more important than shielding it, human sperm require a near constant temperature below that of the core body temperature to be created and survive.  Without it, we'd go extinct.  So, they can't be shielded, and like all crucial parts that can't be effectively shielded, they hurt more so you notice more, and hence protect more, but it still isn't a defense, just a warning that it should be protected.

Dreidel: Come to think of it, you rarely see animals go for the junk during fights (I always see them going for the head/neck/throat) - maybe there's an unwritten rule of the animal kingdom somewhat corresponding to the boxing rules?


From a fighting over mates standpoint, it's kind of out of the way for most animals at the rear, so in order to go for them, one animal would have to get behind the other which isn't likely to happen in that sort of fight.  From a predation standpoint, it's far less of a critical area than the throat, may bleed out eventually, but unless you're a persistence hunter you want to take down the prey as quickly as possible because you don't have the endurance for long chases.
 
2014-06-09 12:11:45 PM

Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron


It's his ideas that make him truly unattractive.
 
2014-06-09 12:17:45 PM

Pick: You have to have big ears and be able to read from a teleprompter to get elected President in this day and age.


actually w's ears are kind of medium sized, and flush against his head so they don't stick out. obama's aren't particularly big, but the do stick out

my main point may be hidden in the ear descriptions: obama is most certainly not the first teleprompter-reading president. and besides that, who the hell cares that he reads a teleprompter? seriously?

and ted cruz, unfortunately, has a decent following (including an uncle of mine, with whom i very narrowly decided not to get into a heated debate a few days ago), and, as of right now, 2.5 years till the presidential election, has an actual chance at this thing. we can only hope that he putters out with all this time yet to go.
 
2014-06-09 12:19:23 PM

Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron


Naw,  most people have are awake now and will never vote again based on looks and charisma. That's already set us back about 126 years..
 
2014-06-09 12:19:50 PM

pueblonative: letrole: Several studies from hospital emergency wards, including one from the Bristol Royal Infirmary, show that faces are particularly vulnerable to violent injuries.

That's funny since any fist fighter will tell you that the head is the last place you want to target.


And the first place an untrained fighter tries to target.
 
2014-06-09 12:22:37 PM

LrdPhoenix: From a predation standpoint, it's far less of a critical area than the throat, may bleed out eventually, but unless you're a persistence hunter you want to take down the prey as quickly as possible because you don't have the endurance for long chases.


The most common way that gray wolves kill very large prey is by biting the genitals and anus until the animal collapses from blood loss.
 
2014-06-09 12:28:08 PM

jaybeezey: Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron

Yes, let's choose our leaders on what they look like. How much worse can it get anyway?


Sheesh. TV? Nixon vs. Kennedy? Where have you been for the last 50 years? It's a beauty contest for Senators. The big ears mentioned above are only recently evolved, so the fellatee can get a better grip as the money shot hoves to. The buggery of years ago is now almost entirely neglected, due to the fact that the candidates' wallets had grown too heavy to allow the pulling up of one's pants without considerable assistance. While the donors, of course, had footmen to transport their wallets, the lowly politicians had to struggle through with only a handful of Secret Service agents, so fellatio quickly became the accepted practice, vis-a-vis campaign funding.

My doctoral dissertation goes into greater detail and includes some hidden-cam video, so if anyone knows of a university that offers a degree in such a field, hey, a word in the ear, you know? Or a research grant, that would be sweet.
 
2014-06-09 12:32:00 PM

Champion of the Sun: I think it's hilarious that Ted Cruz has presidential ambitions.  In this day and age you gotta be at least somewhat attractive or distinguished looking to be elected president.  Ted Cruz looks like someone stitched together a bunch of ball sacs and made a face out of them.  His face is entirely made out of scrotums and he thinks people will elect him president.  Moron


I like Ted Cruz.
 
2014-06-09 12:37:49 PM

hillary: Read headline as feces instead of faces. Did a GIS for "poo" to make funny comment with pic.

Pro-tip: don't do a GIS for "poo." Just don't.

I need a hug now because my soul hurts.


Did you encounter an oddly-angled picture of a certain lady situated in a large porcelain device designed for bathing?
 
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