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(Stuff.co.nz)   Do-it-yourself funerals have become a popular way to save money, if you don't mind putting up with a little dead weight   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 37
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3218 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2014 at 8:43 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-08 07:55:41 AM  
Do it yourself cremations aren't catching on no matter how many times people suggest dying in a fire.
 
2014-06-08 08:44:21 AM  

staplermofo: Do it yourself cremations aren't catching on no matter how many times people suggest dying in a fire.


Tell it to Paul Walker.
 
2014-06-08 08:46:07 AM  

staplermofo: Do it yourself cremations aren't catching on no matter how many times people suggest dying in a fire.


If my kin want to do it yourself cremate my arse I want a Viking funeral where a boat is my pyre.
 
2014-06-08 08:46:51 AM  
This is a great idea.

I don't get why people waste time and money on something as pointless as a funeral.

When I die, just toss my body in a dumpster with the rest of trash, and forget the whole ugly episode.
 
2014-06-08 08:56:00 AM  
Backyard funeral pyre works for me.
 
2014-06-08 09:11:42 AM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


That would of course depend on the regulations in your state/province/country. Cremations are a special case, though, as the facility would need to be licensed due to emissions/health risks. Not all hospitals or morgues have a crematorium on site, either.
 
2014-06-08 09:13:58 AM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


The hospital won't have the equipment to do a cremation. But you can get a funeral home to give you the cremains in a plain container for cheap.

/brother was a funeral director
//got "let go" because he wouldn't adopt predatory sales practices
 
2014-06-08 09:14:29 AM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


Some hospitals offer free cremation services for miscarriages.  But the remains go into a mass grave much of the time.  No one will give an adult free cremation services unless the body was donated to science or the deceased was a John Doe with no family.
 
2014-06-08 09:14:56 AM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


Even back when my dad died over 35 years ago, the hospitals want you to get the body out of there asap.
 
2014-06-08 09:15:48 AM  
Most people will be dead for a week or two before they notice anything anyways...

/ttfn
 
2014-06-08 09:20:29 AM  
Viking funeral or nothing.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-06-08 09:20:51 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-08 09:23:10 AM  
My mother recently passed away and she had no money, and right now neither do I. A bare bones funeral service with cremation through the home would have cost $6k-$8k. A local crematorium did the cremation and death certificates for $700. We had a service at my relatives local church, with their musicians and minister in attendance. They also printed up the folders for free. I did give the church $200 and the minister $200. I spent a couple hundred on blown up pics and accessories. Her brothers and sisters chipped in for the luncheon and we had plenty of flowers. Less than $1500 and it was every bit as nice as a funeral home setting, perhaps better since it was in a more comfortable setting. With the cremation obviously there was no graveside service. The turning point for me being cheap was the funeral home wanting to charge $1200 to rent a casket for appearances. My mom could not even have an open casket. One neat thing we did was I had pen/paper/envelopes set out for people to write her a goodbye letter to be placed with her when she was cremated. I get that not everyone could do it by themselves but it did not take that much effort. It would have been easier if my siblings had helped but I got plenty of help from my cousin, my aunts and uncles. I'm sure my mom would be ok with how everything turned out.
 
2014-06-08 09:30:14 AM  
$1200 for a rental casket? Talk about opportunistic prices.

For that I'll just prop my mother in a nice convertible ferrari.
 
2014-06-08 09:32:28 AM  
I forgot to add, transporting the body from the coroners office to the crematorium was part of the package $595, the death certificates were I believe $20 or $25 for the first copy then $4 or $5 for each additional certified copy. The a la carte funeral home prices included $250 for transporting the body, $1800 for the cremation, $250 for refrigeration(3 days, more cost for longer), additional $250 for saturday service, $500 for Sunday, it went on and on. I guess Texas requires the piecemeal price list.
 
2014-06-08 09:39:40 AM  
It's our most modestly priced receptacle...
 
2014-06-08 09:48:34 AM  

big pig peaches: $1200 for a rental casket? Talk about opportunistic prices.

For that I'll just prop my mother in a nice convertible ferrari.


They do have to pull out and replace the lining afterwards but in her case she would never have been in it. For an open casket service sure, but damn. You can get a decent casket through Sam's club for $400-$600. I really don't think it's being cheap so much as practical. The church where we had the service would have buried her in their plot for free. But we had already discussed cremation. I can be buried or cremated by the military but that still doesn't include the service. I told my kids skip it. Have a pot luck and say good bye that way.
 
2014-06-08 09:50:26 AM  
When my estranged brother died 4 years ago, we had no money. Went with a shoestring funeral home, no casket, cremation with everything costing about $2500. They did a wake, and put him in a cardboard box covered with a nice fabric. It was halfway through the wake that they asked my niece, his oldest daughter, to come in and write a check for the service. How they didn't have the heart to arrange that beforehand was beyond me.

When my sister died last year, my parents were so heartbroken about what had happened with my brother that they cashed out a chunk of retirement/equity. My sister got a $13K funeral, with $2500 going to transport her from another state.

Both ceremonies were heartbreaking. Both were well-attended. And neither ceremony made anything any better. Throw my body in a crematorium and scatter my ashes in places I loved, and spend any insurance money on making sure my kid never goes hungry. That's all I want.
 
2014-06-08 09:54:19 AM  
I wish donating your body to science meant guys in lab coats show up and take your body away and send a little certificate of being nice where your body would be during a visitation/wake.
 
2014-06-08 09:56:03 AM  
My instructions are quite clear.cheapest bake and shake available and any more that would be spent on traditional funeral expenses shall go towards a BBQ with all the trimmings and beer my friends (and anyone else that wants to come) can handle. The party doesn't need to end because I'm not in attendance.

I could get on board with the green burial though. I have some acreage that I wouldn't mind turning into a family plot...with the stipulation that if that's where you're going to take the dirt nap, you go as naked and natural as you came into the world.

Either way, there's going to be a throw down and  you're invited.
 
2014-06-08 10:21:11 AM  

doczoidberg: This is a great idea.

I don't get why people waste time and money on something as pointless as a funeral.

When I die, just toss my body in a dumpster with the rest of trash, and forget the whole ugly episode.


I'm with you brother, but I want my own dumpster thanks.
 
2014-06-08 10:46:17 AM  

Dancin_In_Anson: My instructions are quite clear.cheapest bake and shake available and any more that would be spent on traditional funeral expenses shall go towards a BBQ with all the trimmings and beer my friends (and anyone else that wants to come) can handle. The party doesn't need to end because I'm not in attendance.

I could get on board with the green burial though. I have some acreage that I wouldn't mind turning into a family plot...with the stipulation that if that's where you're going to take the dirt nap, you go as naked and natural as you came into the world.

Either way, there's going to be a throw down and  you're invited.


Those are essentially my plans. I don't want a funeral or a marker. Drop me in the ground in the field behind our house, and plant an apple tree over me. A biodegradable cardboard box if you must, but I'm going in it naked.

If I'm up for it before I die, I'll even dig the hole.
 
2014-06-08 10:46:38 AM  

sn68f: My mother recently passed away and she had no money, and right now neither do I. A bare bones funeral service with cremation through the home would have cost $6k-$8k. A local crematorium did the cremation and death certificates for $700. We had a service at my relatives local church, with their musicians and minister in attendance. They also printed up the folders for free. I did give the church $200 and the minister $200. I spent a couple hundred on blown up pics and accessories. Her brothers and sisters chipped in for the luncheon and we had plenty of flowers. Less than $1500 and it was every bit as nice as a funeral home setting, perhaps better since it was in a more comfortable setting. With the cremation obviously there was no graveside service. The turning point for me being cheap was the funeral home wanting to charge $1200 to rent a casket for appearances. My mom could not even have an open casket. One neat thing we did was I had pen/paper/envelopes set out for people to write her a goodbye letter to be placed with her when she was cremated. I get that not everyone could do it by themselves but it did not take that much effort. It would have been easier if my siblings had helped but I got plenty of help from my cousin, my aunts and uncles. I'm sure my mom would be ok with how everything turned out.


Sounds nice. Good job. Your Mom would be proud of your getting things done well without going into the poorhouse.
 
2014-06-08 10:46:59 AM  
Bury me with my arse sticking out of the ground, so my friends can come by for a cold one.
 
2014-06-08 11:00:44 AM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


Dont listen to these other posters, they dont know what they are talking about.  The government will absolutely cremate and/or bury a body in a pine box (depends on the states policies as to which) free of charge if nobody else offers to do it.  Its not like they just throw the corpse out in the street if nobody claims it.  They  have to do it, because... well... they need to do something sanitary with the corpse.

You must be destitute though... as their estate will technically be liable for the costs.  So if you stand to inherit money or property from the deceased, those costs will be due from the inheritance.

Also, medicaid and social security both pay death benefits, if the deceased is eligible to receive either of those assistance programs.
 
2014-06-08 11:00:50 AM  
If you ever wondered what happened to carneys and gypsies in America then look no further than a funeral home. They found the best con jobs in history running those places. My best friend died a few years back and his father and brother forked over about $15k for a simple service, cremation and copper display coffin for the viewing. The real heart breaker that only me and his brother noticed was at the viewing, they had him in a 5 foot (albeit shiny copper) coffin, he was 6 foot 3. His father didnt want to talk about it, didnt even want to acknowledge it. When his brother and I really leaned into the director about it he dissapeared mid-conversation, we found out from one of the workers that they usually have to break the legs if somebody wont fit into the viewing coffin. We dropped it, not worth riling up the dad over. But fark funeral homes, they should be run by the state and all shut down. All their managers put into the furnace, farking monsters.

Put my body on an old broken motorcycle in the middle of nowhere perched on a woodpile 10 feet high, light it up and walk away. Or roast marshmellows for all I care, i'll be dead.

/and fark dentist too
 
2014-06-08 11:04:14 AM  

Omnis_evil_twin: Some hospitals offer free cremation services for miscarriages. But the remains go into a mass grave much of the time. No one will give an adult free cremation services unless the body was donated to science or the deceased was a John Doe with no family.


I had a baby that died a few days after birth. The funeral home gave us a half-price deal. It was still several hundred dollars.

The sheriff did let us take the baby to the funeral home ourselves, though, instead of making the funeral home come get her, as the law demanded. That would have been almost a 200-mile ride for them, and who knows what that would have cost.

But they were very nice, and I took a picture of the guy who helped us:

i92.photobucket.com
 
2014-06-08 11:16:19 AM  
Having just watched my family go through two funerals with little money in the last few years, I've grown to really resent the funeral industry.  While I understand the costs involved in transporting a dead body safely and sanitarily, there is no reason that a wooden box and 2 hours in a parlor should cost thousands of dollars.

At my great aunt's funeral my grandmother attempted to basically do a lot of it herself (paid for a 2 hour viewing but asked her sister's minister to come and say a few words and the minister kindly offered to bring a musician to play).  We were out of there well within the agreed upon time and we used no other resources from the home besides the room, but they tried to charge double because we had a "full funeral" instead of a "viewing" because a preacher was there.  This was the same church that charged $2000 when we did my grandfather's funeral in a similar way and had no money (he was senile and did not keep up with insurance payments) but my aunt had insurance so they seemed to want to get every dollar they could from a grieving older woman five minutes after saying goodbye to her sister.  Fark you!  That money was to go to taking care of her disabled son!

\Put me in the "cremate me, stick me in a plant, and have a BBQ" club
 
2014-06-08 11:28:29 AM  
"I want to be mummified and placed next to Stalin."
 
2014-06-08 11:32:52 AM  
Drop my body from space so I burn up in the atmosphere.
 
2014-06-08 12:12:30 PM  
You Farkers should get cremated.  That way, people can say "I always thought he'd make a complete ash of himself".
 
2014-06-08 12:52:30 PM  
Cremation is in my living will. Cheap, no mess, relatives can keep an urn of my ashes (or whatever, don't care). I just don't want my body rotting in a box six feet underground. Because that is sick.
 
2014-06-08 01:12:45 PM  
just don't claim the body, let the state worry about it
 
2014-06-08 02:41:22 PM  

Wolf892: Probably a dumb question but I've never had anyone in my family die close to me...

If you die, and they take your body to the morgue/hospital, can you request that they cremate the body as soon as they are finished with it (whatever paperwork or investigation) free of charge and then hand you a box of ashes to dispose of, or do you have to use a funeral home and pay for cremation and funeral costs whether you want one or not?

Thanks


You can donate the body to the medical school; students practice surgery on them.
 
2014-06-08 05:05:08 PM  

sn68f: My mother recently passed away and she had no money, and right now neither do I. A bare bones funeral service with cremation through the home would have cost $6k-$8k. A local crematorium did the cremation and death certificates for $700. We had a service at my relatives local church, with their musicians and minister in attendance. They also printed up the folders for free. I did give the church $200 and the minister $200. I spent a couple hundred on blown up pics and accessories. Her brothers and sisters chipped in for the luncheon and we had plenty of flowers. Less than $1500 and it was every bit as nice as a funeral home setting, perhaps better since it was in a more comfortable setting. With the cremation obviously there was no graveside service. The turning point for me being cheap was the funeral home wanting to charge $1200 to rent a casket for appearances. My mom could not even have an open casket. One neat thing we did was I had pen/paper/envelopes set out for people to write her a goodbye letter to be placed with her when she was cremated. I get that not everyone could do it by themselves but it did not take that much effort. It would have been easier if my siblings had helped but I got plenty of help from my cousin, my aunts and uncles. I'm sure my mom would be ok with how everything turned out.


That's about what I did (similar cost, too), though we had a service at the funeral home, and I found my own container for the ashes during the service. Cute little wooden chest, found it at Marshall's for $25. :D

/Miss you, Dad
 
2014-06-08 08:09:05 PM  
I think I would like to be buried at sea, but with a twist...
Dress me up in a Superman costume and then launch me to the ocean with a trebuchet.
 
2014-06-08 08:15:43 PM  
For those of you donating your bodies to science/research just and FYI. Somebody is making money off of your corpse. Unless you steal the body from the morgue and dispose of it on your own, SOMEBODY will be making a profit off your body. Dont even get me started on how much money they make off your fillings/implanted metal.
 
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