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(Portland Intelligencer)   City of Portland braces for filthy, disgusting, sickening naked human bodies. On bicycles. Lots of them   (pdxintelligencer.com) divider line 47
    More: Strange, nude bike ride, World Naked Bike Ride  
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4551 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2014 at 5:32 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-07 12:02:11 PM  
The sad Truth is that most people who are nudists tend to be those you would find disgusting even if they were fully clothed.
 
2014-06-07 12:50:30 PM  
I really want to do this someday.  It seems like fun and the participants seem to genuinely enjoy themselves.

/despise oil companies
//hate clothes
///don't like it, don't watch
 
2014-06-07 05:37:52 PM  
There was a Chicago fark party 2 years ago (I think 2 years) the night of the ride. It went past the bar and was ... Interesting.
 
2014-06-07 05:44:15 PM  
www.oxfordmail.co.uk
 
2014-06-07 05:44:32 PM  

TV's Vinnie: The sad Truth is that most people who are nudists tend to be those you would find disgusting even if they were fully clothed.


Yeah, but looking at the pics of flickr shows these are mostly slightly above average for nudists.

Of course, the fat guy with "Pie not Petrol" written on his belly is enough to turn you off of, well, pretty much everything.
 
2014-06-07 05:46:44 PM  
Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.
 
2014-06-07 05:59:41 PM  
So, refugees of Burning Man?
 
2014-06-07 05:59:55 PM  
God. Damn. It.

I was supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight and get some kind of writing award. How am I going to eat with this image in my head?

Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.


And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.
 
2014-06-07 06:00:03 PM  
Good for them. It's a bastard to drive in this town, as I've found put this week. The dream of cohesive road design is dead in Portland. The roundabouts are nice, but the rest of it is a chore.
 
2014-06-07 06:04:04 PM  

Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.


so it its. if the video from past years is any indication this is not at all erotic.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-06-07 06:04:35 PM  

maram500: I was supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight and get some kind of writing award. How am I going to eat with this image in my head?


"And get?"

Also, can you tell which part of the quoted text was superfluous?

Have a nice dinner.
 
2014-06-07 06:06:30 PM  

Great_Milenko: TV's Vinnie: The sad Truth is that most people who are nudists tend to be those you would find disgusting even if they were fully clothed.

Yeah, but looking at the pics of flickr shows these are mostly slightly above average for nudists.

Of course, the fat guy with "Pie not Petrol" written on his belly is enough to turn you off of, well, pretty much everything.


"Slightly above average for nudists" yes..."would want to see naked" no.  Avoid downtown if you're squeamish.  Want to see attractive Portlanders naked?  Hit up one of the (many) strip clubs.


Mentalpatient87: Good for them. It's a bastard to drive in this town, as I've found put this week. The dream of cohesive road design is dead in Portland. The roundabouts are nice, but the rest of it is a chore.


Eh, it's crap, but with experience it can be worked-around.  This week is just a major problem because of the Rose Festival.  Traffic knot in the center of down radiates outward.  It's usually not too bad - just confounding if you aren't familiar with the direction of the streets.
 
2014-06-07 06:08:16 PM  

maram500: God. Damn. It.

I was supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight and get some kind of writing award. How am I going to eat with this image in my head?

Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.


Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.
 
2014-06-07 06:13:57 PM  

433: maram500: I was supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight and get some kind of writing award. How am I going to eat with this image in my head?

"And get?"

Also, can you tell which part of the quoted text was superfluous?

Have a nice dinner.


Technically, it's correct grammar. So shut up. Also: superfluous--that word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means.

Aello: maram500: God. Damn. It.

I was supposed to go to a nice dinner tonight and get some kind of writing award. How am I going to eat with this image in my head?

Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.


Houma. F*cking Houma.
 
2014-06-07 06:17:21 PM  
Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.

Houma. F*cking Houma


Oh Christ, I'm sorry!
 
2014-06-07 06:19:45 PM  

maram500: . Also: superfluous--that word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means.


You get paid by the word?
 
2014-06-07 06:20:56 PM  
I'll actually be participating this year. Any Farkers out there see a bike with yellow fenders and a green backpack with an "Oregon Gives Me Wood" sticker: it's yours truly. It's actually a ton of fun and way more attractive chicks/dudes than you'd expect from your average nudie event. Don't forget these are people that cycle every day and Portland is where 20/30-something's go to retire. There'll be some well deserved eye bleach at the party to counteract the bloated sea creatures.

/the girl I'm riding with is flat out hot.
//she's taking advantage of the body paint booth prior to the ride
 
2014-06-07 06:23:25 PM  

Aello: Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.

Houma. F*cking Houma

Oh Christ, I'm sorry!


I'm afraid to ask where you are, given that you're sorry I live in Houma.
 
2014-06-07 06:26:12 PM  
I've lived in NOLA, BR and Lafayette. Currently in BR and have been the past 12 years.
 
2014-06-07 06:27:02 PM  

mikaloyd: maram500: . Also: superfluous--that word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means.

You get paid by the word?


My professors as an undergrad and grad student commended me for my use of the English language.

...that, and I've been known to pad my papers with flowery language.
 
2014-06-07 06:28:21 PM  

Aello: I've lived in NOLA, BR and Lafayette. Currently in BR and have been the past 12 years.


NOLA's nice, Lafayette is amazing, and I feel sorry for you for having to live in BR. Although the area around LSU isn't bad at all. And around Siegen (as well as the general area around the Mall of Louisiana) are pretty good too.
 
2014-06-07 06:30:49 PM  
I live in a really great neighborhood. I had a friend just get mugged on Friday right near LSU, and a while back a few friends had a murder happen right outside their apartment in Tigerland.  I enjoy where I am because it's convenient to just about everything. Plus there are some really great bands around town.
 
2014-06-07 06:36:00 PM  
I can't tell if that was satire or someone off their meds. I've lived in Portland most of my life and I've never heard of the Portland Intelligencer. They must be so buried under piles of The Mercury and Willamette Week that I've never noticed them.
 
2014-06-07 07:02:16 PM  
CSB:  I was going downtown on my bike two years ago and happened to turn onto a street that the naked ride was on.  Rode for about two miles towards my destination behind to super cute 20 somethings in black lingerie.

That was a pretty good ride.  Also, that event is funny as hell.
 
2014-06-07 07:25:46 PM  

fusillade762: I can't tell if that was satire or someone off their meds. I've lived in Portland most of my life and I've never heard of the Portland Intelligencer. They must be so buried under piles of The Mercury and Willamette Week that I've never noticed them.


I think it's on the same playing field as "The Skanner"

/ another obscure Portland thing...
 
2014-06-07 07:34:29 PM  

fusillade762: I can't tell if that was satire or someone off their meds. I've lived in Portland most of my life and I've never heard of the Portland Intelligencer. They must be so buried under piles of The Mercury and Willamette Week that I've never noticed them.


Probably both. The entire site is bad satire, featuring articles like "Eleven blocks of NE Portland to be razed for 'Portlandia' skit", "Trimet replacing benches with medieval torture devices" and "Vaccine debate ignores pro-Extinction advocates"
 
2014-06-07 07:47:51 PM  
The title says more about the author than the brave naked bicyclist. I suspect the writer of the article might have a filthy, disgusting, sickening naked human body. And even if the writer didnt have a disgusting sickening body, who made him or her the judge? Nudity is so liberating. I love swimming naked in the ocean at the nude beach. And I've done some of Bay to Breakers naked in past years when I wasn't being competitive for speed.
 
2014-06-07 07:53:25 PM  
Back when I had the body to flaunt, I was too insecure to flaunt it. Still not bad, I guess, but that ship has sailed.

Rock on, nudie cuties,
 
2014-06-07 08:12:23 PM  

Aello: Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.

Houma. F*cking Houma

Oh Christ, I'm sorry!


At least it not Thibodaux!!
 
2014-06-07 08:13:46 PM  
You think thats bad, wait until the naked SUV driver hike.
 
2014-06-07 08:15:50 PM  

Aello: Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.

Houma. F*cking Houma

Oh Christ, I'm sorry!


At least it's not Thibodaux!!
 
2014-06-07 08:17:29 PM  
I remember when I first returned to Portland after 30 years, I was looking for something in particular, and I'd forgotten the layout of the neighborhood. I stopped a guy who was working in his yard to ask directions, then noticed the little girls, maybe 4 and 5 years old, romping naked in the front yard. I made no special effort to look, got my directions and set off.

A couple years ago on 4/20, I was at the waterfront park, and noticed a 19-ish punk girl who was topless along with her male friends. One woman passed her and said "hey, is this where I get to say 'nice tits'?" They laughed and went on. The ordinance here is that public nudity is legal as long as it's not meant to incite, nor has the effect of inciting sexual arousal. Nevertheless, a cop told her she had to put a shirt on. *shrug*. Things are just different here.
 
2014-06-07 09:03:37 PM  
Put A Bird On It.
 
2014-06-07 09:09:52 PM  

buckler: I remember when I first returned to Portland after 30 years, I was looking for something in particular, and I'd forgotten the layout of the neighborhood. I stopped a guy who was working in his yard to ask directions, then noticed the little girls, maybe 4 and 5 years old, romping naked in the front yard. I made no special effort to look, got my directions and set off.

A couple years ago on 4/20, I was at the waterfront park, and noticed a 19-ish punk girl who was topless along with her male friends. One woman passed her and said "hey, is this where I get to say 'nice tits'?" They laughed and went on. The ordinance here is that public nudity is legal as long as it's not meant to incite, nor has the effect of inciting sexual arousal. Nevertheless, a cop told her she had to put a shirt on. *shrug*. Things are just different here.


Yeah. There aren't any black people, so the cops can relax.
 
2014-06-07 09:14:12 PM  

fireclown: buckler: I remember when I first returned to Portland after 30 years, I was looking for something in particular, and I'd forgotten the layout of the neighborhood. I stopped a guy who was working in his yard to ask directions, then noticed the little girls, maybe 4 and 5 years old, romping naked in the front yard. I made no special effort to look, got my directions and set off.

A couple years ago on 4/20, I was at the waterfront park, and noticed a 19-ish punk girl who was topless along with her male friends. One woman passed her and said "hey, is this where I get to say 'nice tits'?" They laughed and went on. The ordinance here is that public nudity is legal as long as it's not meant to incite, nor has the effect of inciting sexual arousal. Nevertheless, a cop told her she had to put a shirt on. *shrug*. Things are just different here.

Yeah. There aren't any black people, so the cops can relax.


Very few participate in things like the Naked Bike Ride, but trust me...there are plenty of black folks here. I live in a historically black neighborhood, and most of my neighbors are black.
 
2014-06-07 10:27:35 PM  
Subby sounds fat.

/love me Seattle's nakkie body paint solstice bike ride June 20.
//lots of sweet bobbages.
///ignore the wieners and jumbo babes.
/V cause I know my farker neo-roman slashies.
 
2014-06-07 10:52:13 PM  

Swampmaster: /love me Seattle's nakkie body paint solstice bike ride June 20.


CSB:

I got to watch a Pride parade back in '97.  It was my first.  They had the Dykes in Bikes go by in their Harleys or Hondas... At one point, once all the lesbians on motorcycles had passed by, across Broadway, there was one chick who stripped off her top, let her boobs flop out, and hopped on her bicycle and chased after the Dykes on Bikes.


Cool Story Bro.
 
2014-06-07 11:00:01 PM  

IamTomJoad: Aello: Aello: Apparently, this is going to be going on in NOLA too.

And you're not helping much, either--especially given that I'm half an hour from New Orleans.

Which direction?  I'm about an hour from there.

Houma. F*cking Houma

Oh Christ, I'm sorry!

At least it's not Thibodaux!!


Meh. Thibodaux at least has a university.
 
2014-06-07 11:00:37 PM  
So I'm here right now. 70% uh god and 30% hotties. The body paint tarp area is prime people watching. Well worth the ride over.
 
2014-06-07 11:06:26 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I'll actually be participating this year. Any Farkers out there see a bike with yellow fenders and a green backpack with an "Oregon Gives Me Wood" sticker: it's yours truly. It's actually a ton of fun and way more attractive chicks/dudes than you'd expect from your average nudie event. Don't forget these are people that cycle every day and Portland is where 20/30-something's go to retire. There'll be some well deserved eye bleach at the party to counteract the bloated sea creatures.

/the girl I'm riding with is flat out hot.
//she's taking advantage of the body paint booth prior to the ride


Too bad you have to be at the gym in 20 minutes.
 
2014-06-07 11:28:33 PM  
How much would you need to spend on disinfectant and febreeze if you owned a bike rental shop over there???
 
2014-06-07 11:40:52 PM  

NathanAllen: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I'll actually be participating this year. Any Farkers out there see a bike with yellow fenders and a green backpack with an "Oregon Gives Me Wood" sticker: it's yours truly. It's actually a ton of fun and way more attractive chicks/dudes than you'd expect from your average nudie event. Don't forget these are people that cycle every day and Portland is where 20/30-something's go to retire. There'll be some well deserved eye bleach at the party to counteract the bloated sea creatures.

/the girl I'm riding with is flat out hot.
//she's taking advantage of the body paint booth prior to the ride

Too bad you have to be at the gym in 20 minutes.


26 minutes- and all kidding aside. There is some flat out talent here. Google it, I'm sure the creepy Arabs taking pictures of everyone will be posting them online.
 
2014-06-07 11:51:10 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: So I'm here right now. 70% uh god and 30% hotties. The body paint tarp area is prime people watching. Well worth the ride over.


You should take pictures.
 
2014-06-07 11:52:58 PM  

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: NathanAllen: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I'll actually be participating this year. Any Farkers out there see a bike with yellow fenders and a green backpack with an "Oregon Gives Me Wood" sticker: it's yours truly. It's actually a ton of fun and way more attractive chicks/dudes than you'd expect from your average nudie event. Don't forget these are people that cycle every day and Portland is where 20/30-something's go to retire. There'll be some well deserved eye bleach at the party to counteract the bloated sea creatures.

/the girl I'm riding with is flat out hot.
//she's taking advantage of the body paint booth prior to the ride

Too bad you have to be at the gym in 20 minutes.

26 minutes- and all kidding aside. There is some flat out talent here. Google it, I'm sure the creepy Arabs taking pictures of everyone will be posting them online.


Creepy? Maybe. But if you are deliberately naked in public can you really complain about people taking your picture?
 
2014-06-07 11:55:03 PM  

fusillade762: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: NathanAllen: detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: I'll actually be participating this year. Any Farkers out there see a bike with yellow fenders and a green backpack with an "Oregon Gives Me Wood" sticker: it's yours truly. It's actually a ton of fun and way more attractive chicks/dudes than you'd expect from your average nudie event. Don't forget these are people that cycle every day and Portland is where 20/30-something's go to retire. There'll be some well deserved eye bleach at the party to counteract the bloated sea creatures.

/the girl I'm riding with is flat out hot.
//she's taking advantage of the body paint booth prior to the ride

Too bad you have to be at the gym in 20 minutes.

26 minutes- and all kidding aside. There is some flat out talent here. Google it, I'm sure the creepy Arabs taking pictures of everyone will be posting them online.

Creepy? Maybe. But if you are deliberately naked in public can you really complain about people taking your picture?


Not really but a fair amount of ppl are in some state of nude and these tools are fully dressed going up to every hot girl taking photos with them. It just seems disingenuous & creeper McGee.

/ride starts in 20
 
2014-06-08 02:49:26 AM  
I didn't ride (you're welcome) and didn't see the main portion of the ride, but did see a couple naked members of splinter groups eat it on the streetcar tracks, so kick out of replies etc.
 
2014-06-08 11:40:29 AM  
I was commuting home and saw a lot of people obviously getting read for the naked ride, mostly with silly costumes.  As I passed one house there was a woman sitting on her porch and someone else was talking to her and that person kind of looked kind of like this:


img.fark.net
That was two and a half hours before the ride and several miles away from where it starts.  I can't say for sure it was a woman, all I know is the person had their back to me, was skinny, wearing stockings, panties and nothing else.  I didn't want to get in a bike crash while staring and I didn't want to stare only to have the person turned around and see "she" had a beard.
 
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