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(KHOU Houston)   The new Corvette will make your tiny penis look 650x bigger   (khou.com) divider line 48
    More: Cool  
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5057 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Jun 2014 at 2:34 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-07 02:02:00 PM  
Other than the horrible yellow color, it looks pretty cool.
 
2014-06-07 02:36:23 PM  
Why is it always about penises on fark...
 
2014-06-07 02:44:00 PM  
650 x 0 is still 0
/I'm a girl btw
 
2014-06-07 02:49:29 PM  

way south: Why is it always about penises on fark...


It just is.
 
2014-06-07 02:55:13 PM  
www.thebluegrassspecial.com
 
2014-06-07 02:55:22 PM  
And the guys from a certain country that make $50,000+ cars and trucks that breaks down in 5years will still bash it.
 
2014-06-07 02:57:27 PM  
I blame this car for wrecking all the other divisions of GM from the 1960s onward. It is such an outlier and fringe model, it didn't belong in such a large corporation's product portfolio. You had the same division selling both a Corvette and entry-level econoboxes. You had inter-divisional territorial disputes with moronic rules like "no other division's product may have larger horsepower or displacement engines" (not sure of the exact wording, but it's not like that was written down). You also had no divisional identity, with Chevrolet making sedans, Corvettes, and trucks.

So while Corvette was coasting for decades on it's legacy, making heavy, low-tech and unimpressive products, the rest of the automotive world was innovating and all of GM was stuck "in the slow lane" behind the Corvette.

To be fair, most of GM's problems are of it's own making. It could have championed quality, or engineering, or looks, or performance. It did none of these.
 
2014-06-07 02:57:54 PM  
500 torques at 1,500 RPM. I like it.
 
2014-06-07 03:03:44 PM  

violentsalvation: Other than the horrible yellow color, it looks pretty cool.


I was iffy on the design but after seeing one up close I've decided it's probably my favorite Vette design of all time.
 
2014-06-07 03:05:35 PM  
Very nice.
image.motortrend.com
 
2014-06-07 03:06:33 PM  
I like Corvettes and my penis is massive. The only reason I don't buy a Corvette, is that my dick has to ride shotgun, and its only a two-seater.
 
2014-06-07 03:07:36 PM  
Wow, that's a horrible looking thing.
 
2014-06-07 03:13:06 PM  
Can't people have cool things because they like and can afford them without tiny minded idiots throwing out tired, lazy memes?
 
2014-06-07 03:14:02 PM  
My wife wants a C7, and the track-rat in me nearly came when I heard the Z06 specs.  I think we're going to go with the base model...

Wish the Z06 were only going to be a mid-point like it used to be, leaving the ZR-1 as the supercharged tire rapist.  The suspension on the base C7 could use some help.  And the transmission.

/a flappy-paddle *auto* fer chrissakes?!  make it a single-clutch manual at least...
//and don't get me started on magnetic suspension...
 
2014-06-07 03:31:18 PM  
I love Corvettes.

That said, guys who drive yellow cars make me chuckle.
 
2014-06-07 03:34:13 PM  

way south: Why is it always about penises on fark...


Its a homoerotic news aggregator site.
 
2014-06-07 03:35:09 PM  
Considering that the average speed limit in the U.S. is 75mph, 650hp doesn't really have any use for me unless I have that humongous, manly desire to overtake the old lady on the on-ramp to Hwy xx to make sure that I get to the next traffic jam.

/My Matrix is faster than your 'vette because you're too busy texting the results of your peeenis mesurements.
 
2014-06-07 03:35:36 PM  

Enlightened Liberal: 500 torques at 1,500 RPM. I like it.


Do they have hook and loop tire/road combos as an upgrade?
 
2014-06-07 03:42:57 PM  
Pish posh. Sure and it's a fine car, but someone wake me when a car with the haunting curves of a 1979 vette gets made with today's tech.
 
2014-06-07 03:48:12 PM  
Fark. Corvette. VA. Patriotism. Kitsch. Something for everyone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_ykDw-06H8
 
2014-06-07 03:52:59 PM  

Your Hind Brain: Considering that the average speed limit in the U.S. is 75mph, 650hp doesn't really have any use for me unless I have that humongous, manly desire to overtake the old lady on the on-ramp to Hwy xx to make sure that I get to the next traffic jam.

/My Matrix is faster than your 'vette because you're too busy texting the results of your peeenis mesurements.


What year and model Matrix?

I have an '03 that couldn't get out of it's own way if you held it at gunpoint and then forcibly attached a Saturn V to it.
 
2014-06-07 04:01:43 PM  

Glitchwerks: violentsalvation: Other than the horrible yellow color, it looks pretty cool.

I was iffy on the design but after seeing one up close I've decided it's probably my favorite Vette design of all time.


Several writers have said that pictures don't do it justice, and seeing the car in person is a much better way to appreciate the car.  I still have yet to bump into one in real life.
 
2014-06-07 04:05:50 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Glitchwerks: violentsalvation: Other than the horrible yellow color, it looks pretty cool.

I was iffy on the design but after seeing one up close I've decided it's probably my favorite Vette design of all time.

Several writers have said that pictures don't do it justice, and seeing the car in person is a much better way to appreciate the car.  I still have yet to bump into one in real life.


It's true. Gorgeous car when you're standing right next to it. For some reason it's just not photogenic.
And I don't mind it in yellow. Reminds me of some great vette racing liveries.
 
2014-06-07 04:11:25 PM  
I'd rather have a tiny penis and an old Subaru than a porn-star dick and that thing.

/oh look, I got what I wanted
 
2014-06-07 04:19:31 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Glitchwerks: violentsalvation: Other than the horrible yellow color, it looks pretty cool.

I was iffy on the design but after seeing one up close I've decided it's probably my favorite Vette design of all time.

Several writers have said that pictures don't do it justice, and seeing the car in person is a much better way to appreciate the car.  I still have yet to bump into one in real life.


It's stunning in person.  They've been selling like crazy around here.  Every single one of them a convertible...

In Oregon...

/says the guy who rides motorcycles 365
 
2014-06-07 04:20:25 PM  
And your bank account 650x smaller.
 
2014-06-07 04:45:46 PM  
So if I drive around a '92 Geo Metro everyone will think I'm packing a 12-incher?
 
2014-06-07 04:58:43 PM  

AbiNormal: Your Hind Brain: Considering that the average speed limit in the U.S. is 75mph, 650hp doesn't really have any use for me unless I have that humongous, manly desire to overtake the old lady on the on-ramp to Hwy xx to make sure that I get to the next traffic jam.

/My Matrix is faster than your 'vette because you're too busy texting the results of your peeenis mesurements.


I still want to know what kind of Matrix he has.
 
2014-06-07 04:58:52 PM  
My penis makes a Summer Sausage look small. I don't need a Corvette, I need an 18 yr old virgin.
 
2014-06-07 05:09:43 PM  
Fancy sports cars do not make a penis look bigger or vagina tighter, it makes the owner attract potential bed mate by implying he/she has a big bank account.
 
2014-06-07 05:16:58 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: My penis makes a Summer Sausage look small. I don't need a Corvette, I need an 18 yr old virgin.


With neither a Corvette or an 18 year old virgin in your future, I guess you'll just have to make do the old fashion way.

www.moonbattery.com
 
2014-06-07 05:35:57 PM  
"Brick-House: With neither a Corvette or an 18 year old virgin in your future, I guess you'll just have to make do the old fashion way."

Good one sir, and a great reference from someone who's been practicing masturbation for the last 6 years.

/A solid 9.37/10
 
2014-06-07 05:40:03 PM  

talkertopc: Fancy sports cars do not make a penis look bigger or vagina tighter, it makes the owner attract potential bed mate by implying he/she has a big bank account.



For some people, the only point of owning a car such as this is displaying social status. For others, the point is entirely about owning something that is fast and fun, because they enjoy the experience of G forces. IMO, the social status aspect is a reason to buy such a car, just not a particularly good one. That's why I like the idea of a low status car that is fast and handles well. Jeff Schwartz' Vega is a great example.
 
2014-06-07 05:43:53 PM  

DrSansabeltNoShiatSlacks: My penis makes a Summer Sausage look small. I don't need a Corvette, I need an 18 yr old virgin.


You'd just scare an 18 year old virgin. With a cawk that big you need some old and washed-up ho. Subby's mom, for example.
 
2014-06-07 05:46:26 PM  
Having seen the new Corvette in person (in that color, and in the red and black), it is an incredibly gorgeous car. It's light years ahead of (*all*) the previous generations in terms of usability, performance, and flat-out attitude.

Modern design and technology + a classic name + racing pedigree + a reasonable cost (when compared to it's contemporaries) make for an incredible car.

It's not 1972 anymore, and it never will be again. A true car enthusiast would appreciate this for what it is. Times change, so does the industry.

Besides all that, everyone knows that lifted trucks with 30' wheels and "rolling coal" shiat equates to small penis syndrome.
 
2014-06-07 05:47:45 PM  
I'm a responsible small penis owner. I own neither a gun nor a Corvette. I guess Wayne LaPierre would call me "a good guy with a small penis."
 
2014-06-07 05:58:27 PM  
that thing is gonna look great wrapped around a tree.
 
2014-06-07 06:00:48 PM  
No "LOL pushrods" comments yet? It doesn't seem like a proper Corvette thread without one.
 
2014-06-07 06:06:32 PM  

elchip: I'm a responsible small penis owner. I own neither a gun nor a Corvette. I guess Wayne LaPierre would call me "a good guy with a small penis."


I have guns and 400hp car. My penis must be so small that I have a vagina.
 
2014-06-07 06:34:04 PM  

AbiNormal: LinkStopLurkListen: I blame this car for wrecking all the other divisions of GM from the 1960s onward. It is such an outlier and fringe model, it didn't belong in such a large corporation's product portfolio. You had the same division selling both a Corvette and entry-level econoboxes. You had inter-divisional territorial disputes with moronic rules like "no other division's product may have larger horsepower or displacement engines" (not sure of the exact wording, but it's not like that was written down). You also had no divisional identity, with Chevrolet making sedans, Corvettes, and trucks.

So while Corvette was coasting for decades on it's legacy, making heavy, low-tech and unimpressive products, the rest of the automotive world was innovating and all of GM was stuck "in the slow lane" behind the Corvette.

To be fair, most of GM's problems are of it's own making. It could have championed quality, or engineering, or looks, or performance. It did none of these.
You just run off at the mouth don't you. Try Googling a few facts before you open your cock socket.

/2014 Camaro Z28 has more power than the 2014 corvette.
//Both GM cars.


You do realize he's blaming their past problems on the Corvette, right?

And he's not wrong, they farked up the camaro so bad they stopped making it and didn't bring it back until the retro charger and mustang had success, hell they even farked up the GTO and that should have been a slam dunk.

Also rumors have been they will tone down the z28 simply because they don't want to piss off Corvette owners/buyers.
 
2014-06-07 07:03:43 PM  

Your Hind Brain: Considering that the average speed limit in the U.S. is 75mph, 650hp doesn't really have any use for me unless I have that humongous, manly desire to overtake the old lady on the on-ramp to Hwy xx to make sure that I get to the next traffic jam.


I have a 600 RWHP Z32. It's kind of annoying to drive it in commuter traffic. I barely get a chance to touch the throttle.

But for the times when I'm not in heavy traffic, it's pure ecstasy.

Aezetyr: Besides all that, everyone knows that lifted trucks with 30' wheels and "rolling coal" shiat equates to small penis syndrome.


Meh, 30 inch tires aren't that big. My short wheelbase 4x4 runs around on 225/75R15s and those are 28.3 inches tall. Bro trucks and mall crawlers are amusing, though. I had one try to race me when I was on my sport bike. In front of a state police station. WTF was that moron thinking? Besides the huge power to weight advantage my motorcycle has over his lifted heavy truck, doing that in front of the police is about as stupid as it gets.
 
2014-06-07 09:49:29 PM  

StopLurkListen: I blame this car for wrecking all the other divisions of GM from the 1960s onward. It is such an outlier and fringe model, it didn't belong in such a large corporation's product portfolio. You had the same division selling both a Corvette and entry-level econoboxes. You had inter-divisional territorial disputes with moronic rules like "no other division's product may have larger horsepower or displacement engines" (not sure of the exact wording, but it's not like that was written down). You also had no divisional identity, with Chevrolet making sedans, Corvettes, and trucks.

So while Corvette was coasting for decades on it's legacy, making heavy, low-tech and unimpressive products, the rest of the automotive world was innovating and all of GM was stuck "in the slow lane" behind the Corvette.

To be fair, most of GM's problems are of it's own making. It could have championed quality, or engineering, or looks, or performance. It did none of these.


You don't know much about cars do you? Every generation of corvettes except maybe the first gen with a straight 6 were competative performance cars for their time. Just by because they have always been ohv (except for the c4 zr1) doesn't make them low tech. The idea that gm would be in a better spot if they allowed high horsepower engines falls apart when you realize only a small percentage of people want high horsepower cars, the enthusiasts that always clammer for them but never buy. GM fell from grace for a lot of reasons but the corvette is near the bottom in that list.
 
2014-06-07 10:17:03 PM  

Kuroshin: My wife wants a C7, and the track-rat in me nearly came when I heard the Z06 specs.  I think we're going to go with the base model...


Wish the Z06 were only going to be a mid-point like it used to be, leaving the ZR-1 as the supercharged tire rapist.  The suspension on the base C7 could use some help.  And the transmission.


/a flappy-paddle *auto* fer chrissakes?!  make it a single-clutch manual at least...
//and don't get me started on magnetic suspension...



so what's your opinion of the upcoming SS?
 
kab
2014-06-08 12:30:21 AM  

way south: Why is it always about penises on fark...


Projection, and nothing more.

FTA:

The new model will now be on par with certain models of Ferrari, Lamborghini and Maclaren.

So was the last Z06, on paper.  In reality, it's a much different story, just as it will be with this one.   GM's current recall woes aren't going to help at all, even if the Corvette is unaffected by them.

Also, that back end is absolutely hideous.
 
2014-06-08 12:58:07 AM  

kab: way south: Why is it always about penises on fark...

Projection, and nothing more.

FTA:

The new model will now be on par with certain models of Ferrari, Lamborghini and Maclaren.

So was the last Z06, on paper.  In reality, it's a much different story, just as it will be with this one.   GM's current recall woes aren't going to help at all, even if the Corvette is unaffected by them.

Also, that back end is absolutely hideous.



The C7 Z51 has been very positively reviewed. That's with the base engine.
 
2014-06-08 02:18:21 AM  
My favorite corvette is the C2 body style. Namely the 1963 split window.

I would love to see GM as a special anniversary thing possibly do corvette in the spits style but use all the modern technology that we have now a days.

i996.photobucket.com i996.photobucket.com
Wouldn't that be a neat idea?

Just a 1 off time like for their 60th anniversary for the split
 
2014-06-08 03:18:25 AM  
As long as I don't need to drop my pants to own one.
That would be cheaper than paying for it....
 
2014-06-08 03:25:01 AM  

NinjaFapper: I love Corvettes.

That said, guys who drive yellow cars make me chuckle.


I drive a yellow car but only because it was the third car I had owned that year. The first two were totaled when idiots didn't see the black or silver ones and pulled out in front of them. After that, I purposely went out and bought the biggest, brightest, easiest to see car I could find. Now, you have to be blind not to see this thing coming down the road.
 
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