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(Anchorage Daily News)   Should the cops ever find you standing in the road in the middle of the afternoon only wearing boxers, make sure you give them a better story than this guy did   (adn.com) divider line 29
    More: Weird  
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5167 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jun 2014 at 2:27 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-06 01:15:20 PM
It was aliens, officer, I swear.

It was ninjas, officer, I swear.

It wash alcohol, offishers, I swerr.

It dyslexia swear, was I officers.

etc.
 
2014-06-06 01:44:18 PM
If you're standing only in boxers, your story should not be brief.
 
2014-06-06 02:22:51 PM
I think I'd rather steal the ATV than the dude's clothes.
 
2014-06-06 02:30:17 PM
This means something.
 
2014-06-06 02:31:34 PM
Was it some BS excuse about a fugue state?
 
2014-06-06 02:32:55 PM
FTA: "the occupants of the Toyota, wearing masks that partially covered their faces, stopped and exited the vehicle. The two men held the victim down, beat him and took his personal items, including his clothes."

hazinginthegreeksystem.weebly.com
Fraternity initiation?
 
2014-06-06 02:33:20 PM
"This certainly isn't something we see happen every single day in that area,"

Usually it's the guy in the mudpants, every single day in this area.
 
2014-06-06 02:34:33 PM
Why should I have to give them a story?
 
2014-06-06 02:35:33 PM

Mentalpatient87: Was it some BS excuse about a fugue state?


img.fark.net
 
2014-06-06 02:39:26 PM
So I'm sitting there on the bulldozer, topless, barbecue sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fark.... Again??"
 
2014-06-06 02:40:00 PM
...and that, sir, is how I ended up naked in your daughters room.
 
2014-06-06 02:42:06 PM
Yesterday, I replaced a drain pipe in our rent house. It was raining the whole day. When I finished, I was covered head to toe in f****** mud. My wife tries to clean me somewhat with a garden hose. Now I'm more soaked and still muddy. And there sits our ride home - my new car/truck thing. I just stripped off to the underwear and drove home. I kept thinking - sure, it'd be embarrassing if I get pulled over, but I'm in my own ride and harming no one, especially my new seats.

Was I kidding myself or was that ok?
 
2014-06-06 02:44:03 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Yesterday, I replaced a drain pipe in our rent house. It was raining the whole day. When I finished, I was covered head to toe in f****** mud. My wife tries to clean me somewhat with a garden hose. Now I'm more soaked and still muddy. And there sits our ride home - my new car/truck thing. I just stripped off to the underwear and drove home. I kept thinking - sure, it'd be embarrassing if I get pulled over, but I'm in my own ride and harming no one, especially my new seats.

Was I kidding myself or was that ok?


Only if your new car/truck is convertible.
 
2014-06-06 02:44:08 PM

skyotter: So I'm sitting there on the bulldozer, topless, barbecue sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fark.... Again??"


i.imgur.com

Tonight!
 
2014-06-06 02:45:26 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Yesterday, I replaced a drain pipe in our rent house. It was raining the whole day. When I finished, I was covered head to toe in f****** mud. My wife tries to clean me somewhat with a garden hose. Now I'm more soaked and still muddy. And there sits our ride home - my new car/truck thing. I just stripped off to the underwear and drove home. I kept thinking - sure, it'd be embarrassing if I get pulled over, but I'm in my own ride and harming no one, especially my new seats.

Was I kidding myself or was that ok?


I think you're safe as long as you don't have an erection.  But that might vary by state.
 
2014-06-06 02:50:12 PM
No you're a rock.
 
2014-06-06 02:50:52 PM

Diogenes: WhoopAssWayne: Yesterday, I replaced a drain pipe in our rent house. It was raining the whole day. When I finished, I was covered head to toe in f****** mud. My wife tries to clean me somewhat with a garden hose. Now I'm more soaked and still muddy. And there sits our ride home - my new car/truck thing. I just stripped off to the underwear and drove home. I kept thinking - sure, it'd be embarrassing if I get pulled over, but I'm in my own ride and harming no one, especially my new seats.

Was I kidding myself or was that ok?

I think you're safe as long as you don't have an erection.  But that might vary by state.


I don't know about him, but I have one now.
 
2014-06-06 02:54:31 PM

Diogenes: I think you're safe as long as you don't have an erection.  But that might vary by state.


As long as river-raisins are not a crime here, I'm ok on that point.

Frankly, the whole thing was pretty liberating.
 
2014-06-06 02:56:44 PM
What do you mean? All according to plan.
www.cheese-magnet.com
/doubt he did this to himself
//look where it happened
///not the best suntan weather
 
2014-06-06 03:02:25 PM

onearmedninja: Only if your new car/truck is convertible.


Heh - no, not a convertible. If that were the case, those new seats would have been just f*****.
 
2014-06-06 03:08:37 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Yesterday, I replaced a drain pipe in our rent house. It was raining the whole day. When I finished, I was covered head to toe in f****** mud. My wife tries to clean me somewhat with a garden hose. Now I'm more soaked and still muddy. And there sits our ride home - my new car/truck thing. I just stripped off to the underwear and drove home. I kept thinking - sure, it'd be embarrassing if I get pulled over, but I'm in my own ride and harming no one, especially my new seats.

Was I kidding myself or was that ok?


Well why didn't you strip down, hop in the back and let your wife dr...... HA! I almost made it through that sentence!
 
2014-06-06 03:12:49 PM
It's not all that uncommon for me to stand in my road wearing boxers....

What would confuse me is the police coming down it.

It's about a level 3 trail & we're the only ones who live on it.
 
2014-06-06 03:16:15 PM

WhoopAssWayne: onearmedninja: Only if your new car/truck is convertible.

Heh - no, not a convertible. If that were the case, those new seats would have been just f*****.


It also depends whether the seats are slatted.
 
2014-06-06 03:17:47 PM

MagSeven: Well why didn't you strip down, hop in the back and let your wife dr...... HA! I almost made it through that sentence!


It's a new vehicle. No. Way. In. Hell. That's why. And why would that matter if I'm/she gets pulled? The cops don't check the cargo area/back seat/what-ever-it-is?

"Uhhhhhh Maaam, why is there a half-naked dude in your cargo-thing, with river-raisins, hiding from the po-po and flush red with embarrassment and humiliation"?
 
2014-06-06 03:32:04 PM

WelldeadLink: It also depends whether the seats are slatted.


Slatted, at whatever angle, or not dude - there's no way I'm not getting pulled in a convertible. I may be down to my skivvies, but my hair is standing up, I've got dirt stains on my face, hands, arms, etc. If I were a cop, I'd put the light on for that sort of sh*t right on sight.
 
2014-06-06 03:41:03 PM

WelldeadLink: WhoopAssWayne: onearmedninja: Only if your new car/truck is convertible.

Heh - no, not a convertible. If that were the case, those new seats would have been just f*****.

It also depends whether the seats are slatted.


At least you could drive yourself to the ER/hardware store if you got "stuck" in the slats. It would beat being trapped in your basement all alone in your slatted seat.
 
2014-06-06 04:12:09 PM
What the fark are river raisins?
 
2014-06-06 04:24:23 PM

skyotter: So I'm sitting there on the bulldozer, topless, barbecue sauce on my titties, and I'm like, "What the fark.... Again??"


Dad?
 
2014-06-06 05:09:49 PM

YixilTesiphon: What the fark are river raisins?


rat turds
emilycontois.files.wordpress.com
 
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