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(Guardian)   What are iPad users really doing with their fondleslabs? Watching porn, mostly: "The iPad version of Safari claims a 38.2% share of all the porn site smartphone users globally"   (theguardian.com) divider line 73
    More: Obvious  
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2286 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2014 at 10:10 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-04 08:33:03 AM  
It is so much more convenient for those morning wanks.
 
2014-06-04 08:36:21 AM  
That's not what that statistic means, submitter.
 
2014-06-04 09:35:59 AM  
Why would you look at porn on a phone anyway?  The screen is to small, and rubbing one out while sitting on the bus can get you arrested.
 
2014-06-04 10:11:58 AM  
I don't understand.

How do you browse when you have to hold the Ipad with one hand?
 
2014-06-04 10:13:25 AM  

mayIFark: I don't understand.

How do you browse when you have to hold the Ipad with one hand?


www.davidmellordesign.com
 
2014-06-04 10:15:23 AM  

kronicfeld: That's not what that statistic means, submitter.


Subby is definitely at least one standard deviation to the left on the IQ distribution.
 
2014-06-04 10:17:13 AM  
Because viruses.  Duh.
 
2014-06-04 10:17:20 AM  
www.bananalogic.net
 
2014-06-04 10:18:00 AM  
Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.
 
2014-06-04 10:18:06 AM  
I finally have something in common with IOs users.
 
2014-06-04 10:18:20 AM  
I claim "Fondleslab" as my new band name.
 
2014-06-04 10:19:51 AM  
Jesus. You know what I use mine for? A laptop replacement device. Bluetooth keyboard + iPad + coffee shop = a day full of documentation.

I never use it for porn... pretty much because my phone's full of it.
 
2014-06-04 10:20:01 AM  

shortdarkandmeh: I claim "Fondleslab" as my new band name.


Too late Fondles Lab is my new erotic devices research company.
 
2014-06-04 10:20:21 AM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-06-04 10:22:26 AM  
Thought Apple didn't support Flash
 
2014-06-04 10:23:06 AM  
They say that like it's a bad thing.

/can't find the old Onion article that called the original purpose of the internet  was as a "remote breast delivery system."
 
2014-06-04 10:23:13 AM  

bdub77: shortdarkandmeh: I claim "Fondleslab" as my new band name.

Too late Fondles Lab is my new erotic devices research company.


Sounds like a dogwalking "escort service."
Don't judge me.
 
2014-06-04 10:23:21 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [www.bananalogic.net image 492x342]


Don't pull out...
 
2014-06-04 10:23:55 AM  

JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.


Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.
 
2014-06-04 10:23:57 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Thought Apple didn't support Flash


Porn mobile sites now support HTML5, .mp4 or other methods of conveying the video. So, they're pretty much the vanguard of Internet technology.
 
2014-06-04 10:24:11 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Thought Apple didn't support Flash


HTML5 all the way. Yes, you can uninstall Flash now, but the ads are all HTML5 as well.
 
2014-06-04 10:24:31 AM  
iBait™
 
2014-06-04 10:25:23 AM  

kronicfeld: That's not what that statistic means, submitter.


This is Fark. Statistics, particularly statistics about porn, are massaged more frequently than Farkers' naughty bits. Which, brother, is saying a lot.
 
2014-06-04 10:26:17 AM  

BizarreMan: The screen is to small, and rubbing one out while sitting on the bus can get you arrested.


Who in the hell rides the bus?
 
2014-06-04 10:27:12 AM  

H31N0US: farkingismybusiness: [www.bananalogic.net image 492x342]

Don't pull out...


Is that an 3.5mm jack? This is important. Sadly.
 
2014-06-04 10:27:14 AM  

un4gvn666: BizarreMan: The screen is to small, and rubbing one out while sitting on the bus can get you arrested.

Who in the hell rides the bus?


People rubbing one out on their iPad.
 
2014-06-04 10:29:09 AM  

BizarreMan: Why would you look at porn on a phone anyway?  The screen is to small, and rubbing one out while sitting on the bus can get you arrested.


I know this guy, who is NOT me of course, who occasionaly wants to rub one out when the kids happen to be up and the wife is out for most of the day. Having some private time in the restroom or bedroom normally involves a mobile something or other.

THIS GUY IS NOT ME.
 
2014-06-04 10:29:41 AM  

shortdarkandmeh: bdub77: shortdarkandmeh: I claim "Fondleslab" as my new band name.

Too late Fondles Lab is my new erotic devices research company.

Sounds like a dogwalking "escort service."
Don't judge me.


Doggie dildos? We've already got an idea folks!
 
2014-06-04 10:35:31 AM  
I remember growing up in the olden days...relying on Fredrick's of Hollywood catalogs, or dad's Penthouse stash, if he was out of town. Then the internet came along, and suddenly you could find naked pictures of thousands of women in one place. It took an hour to download one image over dial-up, but you could always start a download, and go do something else. Now there's streaming video over a broadband connection, giving you access to millions of free porn vids. God I love living in the future...
I just hope the youth of today fully appreciates how hard it used to be to...well...get hard.
 
2014-06-04 10:36:42 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.


Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.
 
2014-06-04 10:37:15 AM  
So that's why the hipsters at the local Starbucks sit with their back against the wall, with such an intense look on their face? I thought they were working.
 
2014-06-04 10:42:57 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I remember growing up in the olden days...relying on Fredrick's of Hollywood catalogs, or dad's Penthouse stash, if he was out of town. Then the internet came along, and suddenly you could find naked pictures of thousands of women in one place. It took an hour to download one image over dial-up, but you could always start a download, and go do something else. Now there's streaming video over a broadband connection, giving you access to millions of free porn vids. God I love living in the future...
I just hope the youth of today fully appreciates how hard it used to be to...well...get hard.


I recently bought an buried  a shipping crate to store hard copy porn. Push is coming to shove and I'll have a trade good, especially when all the women have radiation burns and no depilatories.
 
2014-06-04 10:55:25 AM  
lgbtweekly.com
 
2014-06-04 10:58:12 AM  
Guilty!
 
2014-06-04 11:00:53 AM  

JackieRabbit: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.

Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.


Nope. It's not really Safari. Not licensed by Apple either. I'm sure at some point Apple will get around to getting it pulled.
I can also download skins to make my Android OS to look like iOS, but that does not make it an iPhone (thank god).
 
2014-06-04 11:00:59 AM  
Makes sense, and iPad is easily cleaned with a squeegee...
 
2014-06-04 11:03:15 AM  

farkingismybusiness: [www.bananalogic.net image 492x342]


Wow. That's just... wow.

/Yikes
 
2014-06-04 11:05:42 AM  

JackieRabbit: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.

Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.


No it isn't.

That's neither an Apple product nor licensed by Apple.  Safari is currently available only on Mac and iOS.  It was once available for Windoze, but Apple no longer offers that.

Whatever that app is, it isn't Safari.  I'd bet on it being a "grab every website you browse to and forward it to someone nefarious" app.
 
2014-06-04 11:10:16 AM  

JackieRabbit: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.

Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.


It is not the only browser you can replace the stock one with, So you need to put up some #'s to support is being popular, I am pretty certain that more people switch to OTHER browsers then to Safari.
 
2014-06-04 11:10:30 AM  

Cybernetic: farkingismybusiness: [www.bananalogic.net image 492x342]

Wow. That's just... wow.

/Yikes


Seriously, that can NOT be real....I mean I can tell from the PIXELS that's GOT to be shooped....


/want? Kind of sort of not really maybe,..

i.chzbgr.com
 
2014-06-04 11:10:31 AM  

farkingismybusiness:


And your fark handle is perfect!

....wait, let me rephrase that....
 
2014-06-04 11:14:46 AM  
And here I thought Apple users were simply patting themselves on the back all the time.
 
2014-06-04 11:17:20 AM  
Frankly, porn on the tablet kinda sucks-- many sites try to hijack your browser for something called a Badoink (or whatever it's spelled) app.*

Besides, some of the best (most nasty, perverted sites) still use flash.*

The smaller screen isn't nearly as good, either.

Do yourself a favor and invest in a nicer, more comfortable office chair that reclines.


--------------------------------------------------------------
*or so I've heard.
 
2014-06-04 11:20:34 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.

Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.

Nope. It's not really Safari. Not licensed by Apple either. I'm sure at some point Apple will get around to getting it pulled.
I can also download skins to make my Android OS to look like iOS, but that does not make it an iPhone (thank god).


I just sent the link to Apple Legal.  I'd bet on it being malware claiming to be Safari.
 
2014-06-04 11:20:36 AM  

sjmcc13: JackieRabbit: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices. Could it be that it is just better than the default browser embedded in an Android devices and Android users install it? After all, Android has the lion's share of mobile devices, even though Apple make more money off theirs.

Umm, I don't think it is. Not a real Apple release anyway.

Yes, it is: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.appdream.cloud. Now is this an Apple Product or is it just licensed by Apple? I don't really know (I'd bet on the latter), but Safari is much more highly rated than the Stock Android browser. So it seems a log of Android users are installing it.

It is not the only browser you can replace the stock one with, So you need to put up some #'s to support is being popular, I am pretty certain that more people switch to OTHER browsers then to Safari.


Well as a tech support manager for one of the wireless carriers in the USA I don't recall ever having to support safari on android. Dolphin and chrome.
 
2014-06-04 11:22:09 AM  
AM NOT!

an ipad user, that is...
 
2014-06-04 11:23:07 AM  

BizarreMan: Why would you look at porn on a phone anyway?  The screen is to small, and rubbing one out while sitting on the bus can get you arrested.


Maybe on an iPhone but any of the 5" phones are plenty big enough to rub one out on.  Not that I know from experience or anything.
 
2014-06-04 11:26:03 AM  

JackieRabbit: Uh, Safari is available for Android devices.


You sure about that?  I can't imagine Apple making their browser available on Android, and checking Google Play only turned up a knockoff made by "galaxys9".
 
2014-06-04 11:26:37 AM  

tumy4me: Guilty!


Same. I need to use something when my wife is using the desktop.
 
2014-06-04 11:29:13 AM  
DarkVader:  Safari is currently available only on Mac and iOS.  It was once available for Windoze, but Apple no longer offers that.

I installed it back then, and compared to the other browsers avaliable at the time it worse then the best IE replacements.
 
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