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(Slate)   Dear Prudence: I caught my teenage daughter using a hand mixer to masturbate. Should I buy a new mixer, or will this one come clean? And should I recommend a whisk instead? Totally swear this isn't a fake letter   (slate.com) divider line 183
    More: Amusing, Prudi, daughters  
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13930 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2014 at 9:01 AM (7 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



183 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-06-04 08:20:05 AM
Ow ow ow.
 
2014-06-04 08:20:41 AM
And...
img.fark.net
 
2014-06-04 08:28:52 AM
The business would hurt, the other end is designed not to vibrate much.

Maybe if you put a piece of tape on one of the blades to unbalance it, it could work.
 
2014-06-04 09:03:27 AM
Pictures or it didn't happen.
 
2014-06-04 09:03:47 AM
Back in my day, girls used a gear shift AND LIKED IT.
 
2014-06-04 09:04:02 AM
When are Slate and Salon going to merge into one unholy anti-christ of a website?
 
2014-06-04 09:05:16 AM
I laughed way too hard at this:

FTFA: " I understand you're concerned about the repurposing of the appliances, but because the question of blender self-pleasure is going to be a horribly embarrassing one to bring up to your daughter, I think it's fine to broach this with your sister. "
 
2014-06-04 09:05:29 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Back in my day, girls used a gear shift AND LIKED IT.


I've seen that video.

For the terminally curious, search for FTV Violet
 
2014-06-04 09:06:15 AM
I think Fark underestimates just how stupid the general population is.  I know people do submit fake letters but I don't think that most of them are.

Then again, that belief might add additional weight to my first sentence.
 
2014-06-04 09:06:32 AM
I'd get her a 5 horsepower gasoline version. Also, a new mixer.
image.made-in-china.com
 
2014-06-04 09:06:58 AM

CruJones: When are Slate and Salon going to merge into one unholy anti-christ of a website?


I sometimes forget those are two different sites.
 
2014-06-04 09:07:23 AM
At least she didn't catch her teenage son using a hand mixer to masturbate.
 
2014-06-04 09:08:03 AM
Buy her a hitachi magic wand and you'll have the happiest daughter in the world.
 
2014-06-04 09:08:11 AM
Sell the unwashed hand mixer on Ebay.
 
2014-06-04 09:09:11 AM

rebelyell2006: At least she didn't catch her teenage son using a hand mixer to masturbate.


As if there is anything wrong with that....
 
2014-06-04 09:09:34 AM
Just put a new magic rabbit in the drawer where you usually keep the mixer.  She'll get the idea.
 
2014-06-04 09:09:37 AM
2 words.
Belt sander.
 
2014-06-04 09:09:51 AM
Why don't you find yourself a spin cycle?

i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-06-04 09:09:57 AM
clearly we need pics to prove this is real
 
2014-06-04 09:10:41 AM
Dear Penthouse Prudence,

You're not going to believe this, but I never thought it would happen to me...

/for our younger friends, penthouse had a series called "penthouse letters" which were basically made-up stories of conquest
//for our even younger friends, penthouse was a raunchier version of playboy, but still classier than swank or winks
///for our youngest friends, we used to have to go to the store and purchase magazines to see boobs
 
2014-06-04 09:10:57 AM

devilEther: Sell the unwashed hand mixer on Ebay.


You may have quite a few Japanese buyers for such an item.
 
2014-06-04 09:11:32 AM
Has anybody ever given you the Aunt Jemima treatment?

i51.tinypic.com
 
2014-06-04 09:12:15 AM

JackieRabbit: rebelyell2006: At least she didn't catch her teenage son using a hand mixer to masturbate.

As if there is anything wrong with that....


It would be very painful, unless it was for urethra play.
 
2014-06-04 09:12:58 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com        img.fark.net
 
2014-06-04 09:14:09 AM
Buy her a webcam.
 
2014-06-04 09:14:51 AM
wait until she finds out what's being going on with the electric toothbrush
 
2014-06-04 09:16:41 AM

Arkanaut: Buy her a webcam.


I already did....

:-D
 
2014-06-04 09:16:41 AM

devilEther: Sell the unwashed hand mixer on Ebay.


$45
She had an std
$50
(Quagmire Pic) Got some chump IMing me about this 'work' stuff. Can't look up the quote or pic.  You all have to suffer for my work.
 
2014-06-04 09:17:57 AM

rebelyell2006: At least she didn't catch her teenage son using a hand mixer to masturbate.


OUCH!
 
2014-06-04 09:17:57 AM
will this one come clean?

Heh.
 
2014-06-04 09:18:23 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Back in my day, girls used a gear shift AND LIKED IT.


Rachel Owlglass nods knowingly.
 
2014-06-04 09:18:56 AM
Holy hell, is there anything you deviants won't use for masturbation? Women - just a bunch of horny maniacs.
 
2014-06-04 09:19:46 AM
Almost all of these are trolls
 
2014-06-04 09:20:29 AM

JackieRabbit: Pictures or it didn't happen.


awesomegifs.com
 
2014-06-04 09:21:18 AM
Guess that's one way to make scrambled eggs.
 
2014-06-04 09:21:25 AM

rebelyell2006: JackieRabbit: rebelyell2006: At least she didn't catch her teenage son using a hand mixer to masturbate.

As if there is anything wrong with that....

It would be very painful, unless it was for urethra play.


                                                     yourblackworld.net
 
2014-06-04 09:21:45 AM
Im suddenly reminded of that scene in Bachelor Party where Tom Hanks chases Tawney Kitaen around with a hand mixer
 
2014-06-04 09:22:06 AM
There's more than one way to beat an egg
 
2014-06-04 09:22:42 AM
That's one mixed up teenager.
 
2014-06-04 09:23:32 AM

CruJones: wait until she finds out what's being going on with the electric toothbrush


My wife recommends a Sonicare...
 
2014-06-04 09:23:35 AM

EvilEgg: The business would hurt, the other end is designed not to vibrate much.

Maybe if you put a piece of tape on one of the blades to unbalance it, it could work.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-04 09:24:12 AM
F*ck me with a blender,
only do it soft and tender.

/Help her with her acne.
 
2014-06-04 09:27:08 AM
Always get a snrk outta Prudie
 
2014-06-04 09:29:11 AM

4.bp.blogspot.com
rnatalie:
Has anybody ever given you the Aunt Jemima treatment?


Only after you get the lumps out first.

 
2014-06-04 09:29:45 AM

kvinesknows: clearly we need pics to prove this is real


Arkanaut: Buy her a webcam.


ChipNASA: Arkanaut: Buy her a webcam.

I already did....

:-D


Thirteen year olds, dudes.
 
2014-06-04 09:30:38 AM
How many laminated book covers were in the trash? That should equal blade petina.
 
2014-06-04 09:30:52 AM
It sounds like your home doesn't have enough vegetables.
 
2014-06-04 09:31:57 AM
atomictoasters.com

today on fark i learned that there are electric hand mixers.
 
2014-06-04 09:32:06 AM
Will it blend?
 
2014-06-04 09:33:07 AM
When does a hand mixer become a bread machine?
 
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