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(Kansas.com)   Nobody panic; we've got the oak tree outbreak under control. I WAS WRONG. EVERYBODY PANIC   (kansas.com) divider line 35
    More: Strange  
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2518 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Jun 2014 at 8:20 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-04 01:58:58 AM  
HOE FOR YOUR LIVES!!1!
 
2014-06-04 04:50:46 AM  
Sounds like the trees know when it's a good time to reforest.
 
2014-06-04 06:55:55 AM  
Oh thank heavens, the article said Elm, not Oak. I'm already surrounded by Oak trees and the one Elm tree's leaves I have are too tiny to need raking. I'll gladly take more of them.
 
2014-06-04 07:45:31 AM  
Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....
 
2014-06-04 08:24:05 AM  

Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....


Was just about to ask the same question.
 
2014-06-04 08:39:01 AM  

Smoking GNU: Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....

Was just about to ask the same question.



Did you see the picture with the article?
Elms, maples, and oaks are all great trees, but you don't want seedlings in cracks in the sidewalks, right next to your foundations, in fence rows, mixed in with the corn and beans in your garden, between boards in your deck, and any of a hundred other places where a tree would be inconvenient.
 
2014-06-04 08:39:25 AM  

Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....


Corn.
 
2014-06-04 08:41:48 AM  
Guess the Maples are gonna have to be happy in the shade.

/Low hanging fruit
 
2014-06-04 08:41:52 AM  
cdn.cnwimg.com

Was disappointed when he read the article.
 
2014-06-04 08:45:53 AM  
I can sympathize. The tallow trees have ruined the coastal praire in my area.
 
2014-06-04 08:46:36 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: [cdn.cnwimg.com image 500x432]

Was disappointed when he read the article.


WAH-HAH!
Where's my mirror?
 
2014-06-04 08:47:52 AM  

Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....


If you want that pristine green lawn, you do not want elm seedlings. You just want grass and a few pre-planned trees. The problem is terrain that once was a forest is trying to return to being a forest.
 
2014-06-04 08:57:36 AM  

vonmatrices: Guess the Maples are gonna have to be happy in the shade.

/Low hanging fruit


Perhaps a union should be formed?
 
2014-06-04 09:00:50 AM  
I thought all the Elms in the Midwest died from disease? Didn't Nebraska change its state tree to the Cottonwood because of that?
 
2014-06-04 09:01:15 AM  
This is what happens when ban science. People freak the fark out because something starts coming out of the ground.
 
2014-06-04 09:10:29 AM  
Who cares about oak trees, or elms as in the article? I'm more worried about the callery pear takeover. They are normally planted as decorative trees, but the damn things have started growing all over the place.

/Their flowers smell like semen.
//Yes, really.
 
2014-06-04 09:12:33 AM  
Not sure if this will show as an image or URL as I'm posting from my phone

https://www.google.com/search?q=german+war+dog+funny&client=safari&hl = en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=3hqPU-KoAurksAS22oGwBw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ &biw=320&bih=372#facrc=_&imgrc=z-Bs4fiN8d6rUM%253A%3B73tMYeeIM3Z25M%3B http%253A%252F%252Fwww.meh.ro%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2014%252F 03%252Fmeh.ro11595.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.meh.ro%252Ftag%252Fger many%252F%3B604%3B391
 
2014-06-04 09:18:20 AM  

OldRod: vonmatrices: Guess the Maples are gonna have to be happy in the shade.

/Low hanging fruit

Perhaps a union should be formed?


But by what means shall they all be kept equal??
 
2014-06-04 09:22:39 AM  

jxb465: Who cares about oak trees, or elms as in the article? I'm more worried about the callery pear takeover. They are normally planted as decorative trees, but the damn things have started growing all over the place.

/Their flowers smell like semen.
//Yes, really.


We have some of those outside of my workplace.  Farking awful when they hit that time of the year.  Stank.  Stank everywhere.
 
2014-06-04 09:24:01 AM  

jxb465: Who cares about oak trees, or elms as in the article? I'm more worried about the callery pear takeover. They are normally planted as decorative trees, but the damn things have started growing all over the place.

/Their flowers smell like semen.
//Yes, really.


Tree semen!
 
2014-06-04 09:27:36 AM  
My lawn is still covered in acorn hats from last fall.  I've thrown out several bags of acorns, but you just can't get them up.

And my car looks like I was caught in a hail storm.

farker.
 
2014-06-04 09:28:42 AM  

mutterfark: I thought all the Elms in the Midwest died from disease? Didn't Nebraska change its state tree to the Cottonwood because of that?


They've been wiped out nearly everywhere. If there's a healthy elm, it's because it's there are no other elms within about ten miles of it, so in North America you can probably count them all on one hand. Dutch Elm Disease tends to attack elms when they get about ten feet tall, so they really don't stand a chance.
 
2014-06-04 09:31:40 AM  
Everybody calm down, I hear Mark Wahlberg is on the case.
 
2014-06-04 09:32:41 AM  
If it's Siberian elms, they're a nonnative invasive species. Very thirsty trees. Spend a lot of time in public open spaces trying to kill these things off.

Hate them.
 
2014-06-04 09:44:39 AM  
I will take the oaks and elms off your hands if you take the wild honey locusts and mulberry trees that are trying to invade my yard.  I would love to mow near the edge of woods without having a tree trying to tear my eyes out with 4" thorns and would rather not have to remove mulberry saplings alllllll the time from the fence row around my garden.
 
2014-06-04 09:49:42 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
So it begins....
 
2014-06-04 10:08:35 AM  
Nightmare On Elm-Lined Street.

/Let's welcome our new dendritēs overlords.
 
2014-06-04 10:24:09 AM  

Smoking GNU: Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....

Was just about to ask the same question.


So... you guys just let trees grow anywhere they sprout up in your yard?
 
2014-06-04 11:08:02 AM  
So what are Botanica's gardeners cleaning them out with? A hoe.

I thought the preferred term was "sex worker".
 
2014-06-04 11:10:22 AM  
I thought that Dutch Elm Disease had pretty much wiped out the elm tree in North America. I guess not.
 
2014-06-04 11:24:01 AM  

Cybernetic: I thought that Dutch Elm Disease had pretty much wiped out the elm tree in North America. I guess not.


There is type of Elm from Appalachia that is immune.  They have been transplanting seedlings from them for the last 30 or so years, which is why now you have articles like this.
 
2014-06-04 11:31:03 AM  

ReverendJasen: Smoking GNU: Slives: Um, maybe a Flyover Farker can help clear this up, but what is the problem with letting the elm trees grow?
Even if it is not a native species to the area, what are they going to crowd out that is worth saving?  I am not aware of anything that is uniquely native to that area....

Was just about to ask the same question.

So... you guys just let trees grow anywhere they sprout up in your yard?


I prefer trees to most human structures.
 
2014-06-04 11:39:56 AM  

Herman Borrach: Sounds like the trees know when it's a good time to reforest.


Except that most of the area in question never was forest. This is prairie country.
 
2014-06-04 12:11:22 PM  

Mytch: jxb465: Who cares about oak trees, or elms as in the article? I'm more worried about the callery pear takeover. They are normally planted as decorative trees, but the damn things have started growing all over the place.

/Their flowers smell like semen.
//Yes, really.

We have some of those outside of my workplace.  Farking awful when they hit that time of the year.  Stank.  Stank everywhere.


We call them 'contractor trees' because they're cheap and fast growing.  And they split very easily.

And yeah, they do smell like semen.
 
2014-06-04 02:09:39 PM  

strangeguitar: OldRod: vonmatrices: Guess the Maples are gonna have to be happy in the shade.

/Low hanging fruit

Perhaps a union should be formed?

But by what means shall they all be kept equal??


upload.wikimedia.org
 
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