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(Anchorage Daily News)   One of the finalists for the one-way Mission to Mars contest is a comedian who really wants to go to Mars but her entire video application is a joke. "I wear my helmet everywhere I go and I expect to wear that helmet in space"   (adn.com) divider line 38
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3077 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2014 at 10:31 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-04 08:44:41 AM
mojoimage.com
 
2014-06-04 10:11:57 AM
"It's so beautiful...they...they should have sent a poet comedian..."
 
2014-06-04 10:32:47 AM
img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-06-04 10:33:52 AM
"Is that your crash helmet?"
"Oh! I hope not."
 
2014-06-04 10:34:16 AM
A billion dollar achievement furthering the cause of mankind. All a reality show with editing and fake personality parades. God I hope this thing just blows the fark up on the launch pad.
 
2014-06-04 10:36:15 AM
One-way mission? Sounds like nothing of value will be lost...

ah who am I kidding? I'd go tomorrow if they wanted. Who cares if I don't come back.

Sounds like the whole thing is a media circus, like most things lately.
 
2014-06-04 10:39:53 AM
Gilbert Gottfreid?
 
2014-06-04 10:41:06 AM

orclover: A SIX billion dollar achievement furthering the cause of mankind. All a reality show with editing and fake personality parades. God I hope this thing just blows the fark up on the launch pad.


FTFY
 
2014-06-04 10:41:09 AM

gopher321: [mojoimage.com image 224x225]


I just don't think the idea of being some sort of jane for the borgs of the universe(interplanetary entities or extra terrestrials of non-specific origin), sounds very fun. We seem to like floating near earth though, so who knows, maybe we'll find out why we're so specialized for tool use.
 
2014-06-04 10:41:57 AM
She could use my helmet...

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-04 10:44:40 AM
I'd say sending a woman into space is a terrific start.
 
2014-06-04 10:47:45 AM

untaken_name: I'd say sending a woman into space is a terrific start.


When do we start sending convicts to Mars?
 
Skr
2014-06-04 10:48:41 AM
"$6 billion project is going to be funded in part by proceeds from a reality show about the astronauts and their mission to the red planet"
Well I guess it sucks to be the astronauts if the show gets canceled due to poor ratings while they are half way there.
Sounds like such a horrible idea, the reality show at least. Everyone sent should be professional enough to call it an educational show, or documentary.
 
2014-06-04 10:50:39 AM
If it helps...

She's got my vote.
.
.
.
.
Wait a minute,...

clicks link...

Uh, change that...let's keep this one.

There are lots of ugly whack-jobs we can launch into space first.
 
2014-06-04 10:52:12 AM
I thought it was going to be Rachel Bloom.

img.fark.net
 
2014-06-04 10:53:40 AM

Xxplosiv: gopher321: [mojoimage.com image 224x225]

I just don't think the idea of being some sort of jane for the borgs of the universe(interplanetary entities or extra terrestrials of non-specific origin), sounds very fun. We seem to like floating near earth though, so who knows, maybe we'll find out why we're so specialized for tool use.


I was counting our genes in this thought, as how they would develop without specific biometric inputs from an earth like planet. Like the destination of the previous king kongs of our planet or the eventual realization that changed the biosphere if civilized or coherent in its primary dominant organisms. I'd guess we would have shorter lifespans than our coding initially filled in for, unless we were fairly tuned to the end result of the specific environment we would fill for whatever specific duration,  the toll of remaining in set patterns would also probably cause the higher frequency of higher energy sub atomic particle collisions to really take its toll on control of thought, and it probably would allow spontaneous illnesses to be excruciatingly systemic.
 
2014-06-04 11:00:15 AM
A mission to Mars is a joke.
 
2014-06-04 11:00:48 AM

orclover: A billion dollar achievement furthering the cause of mankind. All a reality show with editing and fake personality parades. God I hope this thing just blows the fark up on the launch pad.


I'd bet dollars that there will never BE a launch pad.

Of all the things that will never happen, "sending a reality TV show to mars before 2100" is one of them.
 
2014-06-04 11:08:04 AM
So . . . sending her there just to get rid of her?

brilliant.jpg
 
2014-06-04 11:09:08 AM

weapon13: untaken_name: I'd say sending a woman into space is a terrific start.

When do we start sending convicts to Mars?


Women and children first. It's the chivalrous thing to do.
 
2014-06-04 11:09:26 AM
NateAsbestos:

Of all the things that will never happen, "sending a reality TV show to mars before 2100" is one of them.

I'm sure it will be like getting a moon tan, we will have 'paid' actors (startrek voyager-like bioships/robot dummies representing a target for dangerous radiation,) testing different synthetic forms of human life/metabolism, and the bungee jump will just be a biological card game with time spent there/on the trip. We would have to get over the whole unforeseen/unmitigated pain and suffering during contractual agreement things though.
 
2014-06-04 11:19:46 AM

untaken_name: weapon13: untaken_name: I'd say sending a woman into space is a terrific start.

When do we start sending convicts to Mars?

Women and children first. It's the chivalrous thing to do.


We're gonna need a bigger rocket...
 
2014-06-04 11:22:42 AM
Has anyone else pointed out yet that this is a completely bogus publicity stunt, and that no mission to Mars related to it is in the offing in any way at all?
 
2014-06-04 12:00:05 PM
She reminds me of something...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-06-04 12:04:26 PM

blatz514: She could use my helmet...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 537x720]




There are worse things to be trapped with in a space capsule...


/HELMET! HELMET! HELMET!
 
2014-06-04 12:39:31 PM

way south: blatz514: She could use my helmet...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 537x720]



There are worse things to be trapped with in a space capsule...


/HELMET! HELMET! HELMET!


I don't know. Being trapped with a female "comedian" sounds pretty horrible.


Just wait until you get there and her favorite thing to say is "not if you were the only man on this planet".

No matter how hot she is some guy on some planet is sick of putting up with her shiat.
 
2014-06-04 01:00:28 PM
I've seen this episode before...

simpsonswiki.com
 
2014-06-04 01:02:14 PM

texastag: way south: blatz514: She could use my helmet...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 537x720]

There are worse things to be trapped with in a space capsule...


/HELMET! HELMET! HELMET!

I don't know. Being trapped with a female "comedian" sounds pretty horrible.


Just wait until you get there and her favorite thing to say is "not if you were the only man on this planet".

No matter how hot she is some guy on some planet is sick of putting up with her shiat.


I'd like how you could go out of your way with it and do just about anything else on the planet. It won't hurt anything, the planets sleeping anyway.
 
2014-06-04 01:08:24 PM

Xxplosiv: texastag: way south: blatz514: She could use my helmet...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 537x720]

There are worse things to be trapped with in a space capsule...


/HELMET! HELMET! HELMET!

I don't know. Being trapped with a female "comedian" sounds pretty horrible.


Just wait until you get there and her favorite thing to say is "not if you were the only man on this planet".

No matter how hot she is some guy on some planet is sick of putting up with her shiat.

I'd like how you could go out of your way with it and do just about anything else on the planet. It won't hurt anything, the planets sleeping anyway.


If you break the habitat, you can just clean up the radiation with a dust storm and build a new one already, like the titanic's self-replicating drydock.
 
2014-06-04 01:24:04 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-04 01:50:50 PM

orclover: A billion dollar achievement furthering the cause of mankind. All a reality show with editing and fake personality parades. God I hope this thing just blows the fark up on the launch pad.


As opposed to a guy with 38 billion to his name who throws his chump change 2 billion to buy a farking sports (pretend war) team? Fark yeah, the spinoffs and benefits from the Mars experiment will be huge. The Clippers will continue to be a group of sweaty men playing pretend war. Yay, we got the ball in the basket and beat our rival!!! We're number one! We're number one! Durrrrrr
 
2014-06-04 02:04:47 PM
Jokes on her. You signed up, now you have to go.
 
2014-06-04 02:35:51 PM

LazyMedia: Has anyone else pointed out yet that this is a completely bogus publicity stunt, and that no mission to Mars related to it is in the offing in any way at all?


Of course I have, but why ruin a good joke?
 
2014-06-04 03:21:07 PM

olddinosaur: LazyMedia: Has anyone else pointed out yet that this is a completely bogus publicity stunt, and that no mission to Mars related to it is in the offing in any way at all?

Of course I have, but why ruin a good joke?


Best cremation option involves beaming your water-soluable compounds into space as static in some kind of electroshock death therapy stirling absolute cooling engine of perpetual motion.
 
2014-06-04 05:12:53 PM
Funnier then I was expecting, which was not a lot.... so.... I snarked.
 
2014-06-04 10:42:17 PM

SwiftFox: [upload.wikimedia.org image 208x300]


Thank you. I came in here to make a Have Spacesuit, Will Travel reference.
 
2014-06-04 11:48:20 PM
Was anyone else hoping it was Roseanne?
 
2014-06-05 01:05:57 AM
Xxplosiv:

Walter Cronkite: Thank you, Mr. President, ha ha! Our next call is Peter Elkin of Westbrook, Oregan, whom I am told is 17 years of age.

Peter (on phone): Hello? Hello?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes. Hello, Peter?

Peter: Is this the President?

President Jimmy Carter: Yes, it is.

Walter Cronkite: Do you have a question for the President?

Peter: Uh.. I, uh.. I took some acid.. I'm afraid to leave my apartment, and I can't wear any clothes.. and the ceiling is dripping, and uh.. I, uh..

Walter Cronkite: Well, thank you very much for calling, sir..

President Jimmy Carter: Just a minute, Walter, this guy's in trouble. I think I better try to talk him down. Peter?

Peter: Yeah..?

President Jimmy Carter: Peter, what did the acid look like?

Peter: They were these little orange pills.

President Jimmy Carter: Were they barrel shaped?

Peter: Uh.. yes.

President Jimmy Carter: Okay, right, you did some orange sunshine, Peter.

Peter: Very good of you to know that, sir.

President Jimmy Carter: How long ago did you take it, Peter?

Peter: Uh.. I don't know. I can't read my watch.

President Jimmy Carter: Alright, Peter, just listen. Everything is going to be fine. You're very high right now. You will probably be that way for about five more hours. Try taking some vitamin B complex, vitamin C complex.. if you have a beer, go ahead and drink it..

Peter: Okay...

President Jimmy Carter: Just remember you're a living organism on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug. Relax, stay inside and listen to some music, Okay? Do you have any Allman Brothers?

Peter: Yes, I do, sir. Everything is okay, huh Jimmy?

President Jimmy Carter: It sure is, Peter. You know, I'm against drug use myself, but I'm not going to lay that on you right now. Just mellow out the best you can, okay?

Peter: Okay..!

President Jimmy Carter: Okay.
 
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