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(Metro)   Until Google gets those self-driving cars on the road, you really shouldn't whack it while driving. You could kill someone   (metro.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Sad, hard shoulder, safety barrier, Vauxhall, lorry driver, Shrewsbury  
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5057 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2014 at 4:37 PM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-06-02 03:00:38 PM
Road head is still OK, right?
 
2014-06-02 04:39:24 PM
Man, that trucker really loves to watch a young girl get plowed.
 
2014-06-02 04:39:49 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: Road head is still OK, right?


For some reason, after glancing at the article I got "road head" and "road kill" kind of mixed up in my mind and it was horrible in there.
 
2014-06-02 04:40:34 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: Road head is still OK, right?


What kind of stupid question is that? Of course that's still OK.
 
2014-06-02 04:41:23 PM
They should make a porn movie out of this incident: "Maximum Overdrive".
 
2014-06-02 04:43:17 PM
 You can not imagine how difficult it is to polish the one eyed gopher when you're doing 75 in an 18 wheeler...
never thought missing children could be so sexy...
 
2014-06-02 04:46:36 PM

farkingismybusiness: Man, that trucker really loves to watch a young girl get plowed.


I'd plow that... You know, before the crushed skull and spine.

...maybe after.
 
2014-06-02 04:47:46 PM
"Glover was browsing two sex websites while driving at 56mph."

Everyone knows that having two windows open can cause a crash.
 
2014-06-02 04:48:47 PM
How the hell else am I supposed to stay awake on the interstate through West Virginia? I'm doing a pubic- I mean public service.
 
2014-06-02 04:50:54 PM
'We had known each other since we were 13 and we were so excited to spend the rest of our lives together.'

and apparently you did.  Just not for quite as long as you expected.
 
2014-06-02 04:51:13 PM

GreyWolf007: Everyone knows that having two windows open can cause a crash.


I snortled.  It's been awhile since I had a good snortle.

Ty, kind sir.
 
2014-06-02 04:51:47 PM
I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.
 
2014-06-02 04:53:46 PM

byteme4321: You can not imagine how difficult it is to polish the one eyed gopher when you're doing 75 in an 18 wheeler...
never thought missing children could be so sexy...


Did you say that out loud?
 
2014-06-02 04:54:00 PM

p0nk: 'We had known each other since we were 13 and we were so excited to spend the rest of our lives together.'

and apparently you did.  Just not for quite as long as you expected.


Actually, only one of them did...

The other gets to honor his commitments and resume dating...

So, win-win, right?
 
2014-06-02 05:00:34 PM
Hands free
 
2014-06-02 05:03:03 PM
"Hey, you, get your damn hands off yourself."

/Do you really think I should swear?
 
2014-06-02 05:04:44 PM
Wouldn't have happened if he'd been driving a Mazda rotary engine car with the Wanker engine.
 
2014-06-02 05:06:22 PM

Gergesa: I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.


www.flixist.com
 
2014-06-02 05:07:15 PM
FTA: Mr Pagett, also 20, said: 'Laura and I were looking forward to planning our wedding - instead, I ended up planning her funeral.

Whiny wuss with no follow through.

sexylosers.com
 
2014-06-02 05:07:51 PM

farkingismybusiness: Man, that trucker really loves to watch a young girl get plowed.


/thread
 
2014-06-02 05:10:24 PM

biyaaatci: Gergesa: I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.

[www.flixist.com image 620x350]


Dude, there's just some things you don't talk about in public!
 
2014-06-02 05:11:27 PM
Odd, she doesn't look like a kitten.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-06-02 05:12:09 PM
Actually, this would be a lesson against watching porn while driving. You can whack it all you want if you just keep your eyes on the road.

/that sexy, sexy road.
//check out those curves
 
2014-06-02 05:14:00 PM

Gergesa: I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.


static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-06-02 05:15:50 PM
image.spreadshirt.com
 
2014-06-02 05:16:10 PM
If it's a self-driving car, technically you wouldn't be whacking it while driving. You'll just be along for the ride.

/So to speak.
 
2014-06-02 05:21:26 PM
www.vh1.com
 
2014-06-02 05:23:24 PM
Now if Google can add a vacuum hose attachment to the self-driving car, you'd be all set.
 
2014-06-02 05:24:22 PM
Judge Onions brings tears to my eyes.
 
2014-06-02 05:35:05 PM
there is so much farking goodness in this thread I can barely see through my hysterical laughter. and I don't have the time it would take to favorite all of you.

bad news: I'm probably getting fired because of this thread.
good news: at least I'm exiting laughing.
 
2014-06-02 05:35:52 PM

farkingismybusiness: Gergesa: I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.

[static.fjcdn.com image 609x541]


Fighting off 15 cops while masturbating.

You wonder whats going through peoples heads in that type of situation.  It's scary how situationally unaware people can be.  If a guys that freaking dedicated to finishing just get him some lotion and kleenex and let the situation play out.
 
2014-06-02 05:47:48 PM

elguerodiablo: You wonder whats going through peoples heads in that type of situation. It's scary how situationally unaware people can be. If a guys that freaking dedicated to finishing just get him some lotion and kleenex and let the situation play out.


From now on, every time the phone rings while I'm in the middle of jacking it, I'm going to answer with a yell of "Let the situation play out!" and hang up.
 
2014-06-02 05:51:26 PM

elguerodiablo: farkingismybusiness: Gergesa: I recall a few years ago fark had a story about a norwegian trucker who was masturbating while driving and got into a wreck.  But the trucker didn't stop masturbating, even as the emergency crews arrived and police hauled him away he was still masturbating.  Even while being interrogated he was masturbating.  Now that guy was dedicated.

[static.fjcdn.com image 609x541]

Fighting off 15 cops while masturbating.

You wonder whats going through peoples heads in that type of situation.  It's scary how situationally unaware people can be.  If a guys that freaking dedicated to finishing just get him some lotion and kleenex and let the situation play out.


Fighting off over a dozen cops with your dick in your hand isn't normal...but on meth, it is.
 
2014-06-02 05:51:49 PM
byteme4321:
never thought missing children could be so sexy...

img.fark.net

it's the pvc tape that does it.
 
2014-06-02 05:52:55 PM

mama2tnt: there is so much farking goodness in this thread I can barely see through my hysterical laughter. and I don't have the time it would take to favorite all of you.

bad news: I'm probably getting fired because of this thread.
good news: at least I'm exiting laughing.


This.

BttF, Mallrats, this thread has everything.

/Blues brothers.jpg
//Self employed, so no check on my laughter
///or in my mailbox
 
2014-06-02 05:53:52 PM

the801: byteme4321:
never thought missing children could be so sexy...

[img.fark.net image 482x490]

it's the pvc tape that does it.


You know, this is the second possibly underaged person in bondage picture I've seen on Fark in about a month, and I'm beginning to think I should call somebody.
 
2014-06-02 06:04:43 PM
Road head is kinda awkward in a manual transmission car.

/Holy shiat girl, I'm gonna blow my engine.
 
2014-06-02 06:36:36 PM
I sometimes get stuck behind cyclists.

www.sexualdarkage.com
 
2014-06-02 06:50:07 PM

Nexzus: Road head is kinda awkward in a manual transmission car.

/Holy shiat girl, I'm gonna blow my engine.


The joke is blowing a rod, dumbass.
 
2014-06-02 06:51:00 PM

Prof. Frink: Nexzus: Road head is kinda awkward in a manual transmission car.

/Holy shiat girl, I'm gonna blow my engine.

The joke is blowing a rod, dumbass.


Or if you're a female, "going lickety split"
 
2014-06-02 07:20:31 PM

Nexzus: Road head is kinda awkward in a manual transmission car.


That is what highways are for.

And stop lights.

And parking lots.

Man, I miss that girl.
 
2014-06-02 08:27:18 PM
Anyone else disturbed he got FIVE years in jail for seriously injuring one passenger and killing another?? Seriously if that's how tough UK courts are ,some fantasies of killing the hooker and making a snuff film are almost worth the Internet sales.
 
2014-06-02 09:33:32 PM
I'll stop jacking it while driving when they pull it from my cold dead hands.
Please tell me those self-drive cars will have fleshlights as standard equipment.
 
2014-06-02 09:33:56 PM

Nexzus: Road head is kinda awkward in a manual transmission car.

/Holy shiat girl, I'm gonna blow my engine.


Masturbating is dangerous too. What if you get confused when shifting gears? You could seriously injure yourself.
 
2014-06-02 11:54:03 PM
With the multitudes of articles about driving while texting or driving while being distracted doing something silly, I'm genuinely surprised it has taken this long for someone to have tried this.
 
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