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(Digital Spy)   The ten worst tracks in Mario Kart history. Let's go take a ride on Rainboooooooooooooooow Roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad   (digitalspy.com) divider line 69
    More: Obvious, mario  
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5862 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Jun 2014 at 6:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-06-01 01:37:45 AM  
*jumps off left side of track*
 
2014-06-01 04:34:01 AM  
SOmeone got paid to write that and assemble the clips?  Wow.
 
2014-06-01 07:02:54 AM  
No comments on battle mode? Most of the real stinker tracks were in the battle arena:

-tracks with no cover so firing a red shell from anywhere would strike the opponent
-too big for 2 or 4 players so you spend all your time driving with hardly any attacks
-usually only 4 maps to battle on, hopefully with one decent one

On top of that there's the way they take a decent battle map and then change it around on a new game version, in a way that totally ruins everything good about the map

If we're sticking to bad race tracks, Wario Stadium for Double Dash (Gamecube) is pretty bad because there's so many hazards. It's really a crapshoot as to who'll come out on top
 
2014-06-01 07:08:18 AM  
I'll miss you again, Uncle.
 
2014-06-01 07:16:45 AM  

Twitch Boy: *jumps off left side of track*


That got me banned from the living room during sooo many family get together with the ex inlaws...

/something about doing 3 laps before anyone else had done one
 
2014-06-01 07:18:29 AM  
People took Mario Kart seriously enough to rate the tracks? Back in the N64 days it was only good for playing when shiatfaced with your friends. There was much swearing and good fun.
 
2014-06-01 07:21:33 AM  
N64 Rainbow Road is my favorite Mario Cart track of all time. OF ALL TIME.

/and I'll own you on it
 
2014-06-01 07:58:03 AM  
Toad's Turnpike in mirror mode was just plain evil.
 
2014-06-01 08:34:41 AM  

NeverDrunk23: Toad's Turnpike in mirror mode was just plain evil.


I don't think anyone was prepared for the amount of yelling and cursing.
 
2014-06-01 08:56:15 AM  
ProTip: Just because there are 8 Mario Kart games doesn't mean you need to play them all to the extent that you can rate the tracks.
 
2014-06-01 09:29:43 AM  
Baby Park was still the best. 3 minutes of absolute chaos.
 
2014-06-01 09:39:36 AM  
My complaint about Rainbow Road is the only power ups I get are mushrooms.  You can't use those damn things there.
 
2014-06-01 09:51:56 AM  
Nobody mentioned the Yoshi track from mario kart 64??
 
2014-06-01 10:07:45 AM  

mjones71822: Nobody mentioned the Yoshi track from mario kart 64??


Is that the one with multiple paths, no edges, and unhelpful mini map? If so, yes. A thousand times yes. I hated it so much. So, so much. Why did you have to pick that one again, Doug? Why? You don't like it either. Is my blind, seething hatred so gratifying to you? It's so annoying, and you can't stay on the track. Please, just pick any other track. Even Rainbow Road. I promise I won't even use the shortcut. Just not this one. Please. I just don't want to get crushed by that stupid, giant egg....  (Low sobbing)
...
And we're back. Yes. That is one of the worst things Mario has done to me in our otherwise supportive relationship.
 
2014-06-01 10:12:22 AM  

secularsage: ProTip: Just because there are 8 Mario Kart games doesn't mean you need to play them all to the extent that you can rate the tracks.


The truly scary thing about this is, Smash Bros fans make Mario Kart fans look like your grandma who plays that scrabble knockoff on Facebook.
 
2014-06-01 10:33:13 AM  

NeverDrunk23: Toad's Turnpike in mirror mode was just plain evil.


This.

I would try to sandbag people with it whenever I could. "Oh, btw, we're racing into oncoming traffic. And, go."
 
2014-06-01 10:39:03 AM  

I Like Bread: I'll miss you again, Uncle.


It's so funny that a small, seemingly innocuous YouTube video would be so ingrained in my head that whenever I drive Rainbow Road (including the new Mario Kart 8) I STILL sing that song while driving it!

/it's Rainbow Road....you're gonna know when you get there
 
2014-06-01 11:01:42 AM  

NeverDrunk23: Toad's Turnpike in mirror mode was just plain evil.


*twitches*

Worse was when there's two incoming cars and you have to squeeze between them.......I hated that board so much.  Made worse with Blue Shells.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Baby Park was still the best. 3 minutes of absolute chaos.


This
 
2014-06-01 11:32:21 AM  
N64 Rainbow road at #1? yup i agree that damn thing was the bane of my existence.
 
2014-06-01 11:48:55 AM  
What am I misremembering? I thought Rainbow Road was a long easy gimme they put in as the last track of the game. There's that chain chomper every lap but the whole thing is mostly fenced near-straightaways.
 
2014-06-01 12:07:12 PM  
Gamecube version was the best. That's why they were only able to think of one track from Double Dash to list.
 
2014-06-01 12:08:53 PM  

qorkfiend: NeverDrunk23: Toad's Turnpike in mirror mode was just plain evil.

This.

I would try to sandbag people with it whenever I could. "Oh, btw, we're racing into oncoming traffic. And, go."


If I got a ghost, I would be 'Fark you other items, I'm keeping this.' During the last lap right before the finish line there would always be two trucks next to each other in both lanes, giving you barely any room. Ghost would be the only savior (starman was never an option since you really only got it in lower positions and by that point you aren't coming back to the top spot).

Mushrooms were so worthless on that track.
 
2014-06-01 12:15:08 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Gamecube version was the best. That's why they were only able to think of one track from Double Dash to list.


This.

Also with the halfpipe section on the DK Snowboard level, you try to slightly angle your kart so you skip across the speed boosts at the top of the halfpipe. Far more effective than launching high into the air.
 
2014-06-01 12:16:30 PM  

germ78: The My Little Pony Killer: Gamecube version was the best. That's why they were only able to think of one track from Double Dash to list.

This.

Also with the halfpipe section on the DK Snowboard level, you try to slightly angle your kart so you skip across the speed boosts at the top of the halfpipe. Far more effective than launching high into the air.


DK Mountain is a very easy, quick course if you angle your kart such that all the hairpin turns are now a straight shot.
 
2014-06-01 12:20:04 PM  
My wife and I played Double Dash, and we would always yell at each other when she attempted to punch another cart and miss, landing us straight into lava/water/whatever.
 
2014-06-01 12:44:25 PM  
FTA:

"A bizarre track in which leading on the first lap can actually be disadvantageous."

In my experience, that pretty much describes any Mario Kart track. The way to win is to hang out somewhere around 3rd-6th for most of the race, get decent power-ups, and go for the lead on the final lap.
 
2014-06-01 01:02:14 PM  

dangelder: What am I misremembering? I thought Rainbow Road was a long easy gimme they put in as the last track of the game. There's that chain chomper every lap but the whole thing is mostly fenced near-straightaways.


That's exactly why the author has it listed at #1. It's six minutes of absolute boredom to finish off an otherwise great game.
 
2014-06-01 01:05:01 PM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: FTA:

"A bizarre track in which leading on the first lap can actually be disadvantageous."

In my experience, that pretty much describes any Mario Kart track. The way to win is to hang out somewhere around 3rd-6th for most of the race, get decent power-ups, and go for the lead on the final lap.


Certainly true about the later ones, I skipped directly from the SuperNES original to the first Wii edition and gave up after a while becaus there is no point trying to maintain the lead or really the game itself because it just turned into such a crap-shoot based on power ups that are all heavily stacked to the horde of people behind you.  Blue shells were the absolute worst addition to the power ups.  Its not a game about driving anymore at all.
 
2014-06-01 01:33:19 PM  

germ78:

Also with the halfpipe section on the DK Snowboard level, you try to slightly angle your kart so you skip across the speed boosts at the top of the halfpipe. Far more effective than launching high into the air.

This is what I was going to say.  It sounds like the author of TFA hasn't figured this part out yet:   keep your kart as parallel to the top of the halfpipes as you can and you can skip-rocket your way down the whole section.

mjones71822: Nobody mentioned the Yoshi track from mario kart 64??


That might be my favorite level ever.  I put up some seriously fast times on that track, mostly because of the shortcuts.
 
2014-06-01 01:56:18 PM  
The author is mistaken. There are no bad tracks from the SNES version.
 
2014-06-01 03:00:58 PM  

dangelder: What am I misremembering? I thought Rainbow Road was a long easy gimme they put in as the last track of the game. There's that chain chomper every lap but the whole thing is mostly fenced near-straightaways.


I don't know which one you played, but the N64 Rainbow Road had lots of hills and twists with no railing. It's very easy to end up going off the road and having to reset.
 
2014-06-01 03:01:23 PM  

I Like Bread: The author is mistaken. There are no bad tracks from the SNES version.

 
2014-06-01 04:30:06 PM  

rideaurocks: No comments on battle mode? Most of the real stinker tracks were in the battle arena:

-tracks with no cover so firing a red shell from anywhere would strike the opponent
-too big for 2 or 4 players so you spend all your time driving with hardly any attacks
-usually only 4 maps to battle on, hopefully with one decent one

On top of that there's the way they take a decent battle map and then change it around on a new game version, in a way that totally ruins everything good about the map

If we're sticking to bad race tracks, Wario Stadium for Double Dash (Gamecube) is pretty bad because there's so many hazards. It's really a crapshoot as to who'll come out on top


I farking loved Warios Stadium. Shoot a shell at just the right moment and have another player not make a jump and is destined for last place. Good times.
 
2014-06-01 04:30:32 PM  
No mention of Bowser's castle on the 64? I don't know why, but italways seemed like the computer rampantly cheated on that track, moreso than usual. One mistake, no matter how small, and the kart in first gets a half lap lead and you can never regain it.
 
2014-06-01 04:34:28 PM  
Did... did the author really have a complaint about one of the tracks being too linear...?
 
2014-06-01 04:38:19 PM  

VonSchmegalton: rideaurocks: No comments on battle mode? Most of the real stinker tracks were in the battle arena:

-tracks with no cover so firing a red shell from anywhere would strike the opponent
-too big for 2 or 4 players so you spend all your time driving with hardly any attacks
-usually only 4 maps to battle on, hopefully with one decent one

On top of that there's the way they take a decent battle map and then change it around on a new game version, in a way that totally ruins everything good about the map

If we're sticking to bad race tracks, Wario Stadium for Double Dash (Gamecube) is pretty bad because there's so many hazards. It's really a crapshoot as to who'll come out on top

I farking loved Warios Stadium. Shoot a shell at just the right moment and have another player not make a jump and is destined for last place. Good times.


Oh, and also putting bananas in the ramp is fun. Almost as fun as putting proximity mines in the vent above the bathroom in Goldeneye on multiplayer.
 
2014-06-01 04:49:59 PM  
So is MK 8 the reason to buy a Wii U?  I'm hoping Nintendo releases/announces a bundle at e3.
 
2014-06-01 04:54:21 PM  
Amusingly, Dry Dry Desert, Donut Plains 3 and N64 Rainbow Road all showed up in Mario Kart 8.
 
2014-06-01 05:04:45 PM  

germ78: The My Little Pony Killer: Gamecube version was the best. That's why they were only able to think of one track from Double Dash to list.

This.

Also with the halfpipe section on the DK Snowboard level, you try to slightly angle your kart so you skip across the speed boosts at the top of the halfpipe. Far more effective than launching high into the air.


That's so true with the DK level.

But on the topic of the Gamecube one; was there a way to get your partner to climb back up on the kart faster after getting hit by a power weapon? I remember that ruined races for me because I'd be dragging my partner like a screaming boat anchor when the CPU opponents would get their partner back up on the vehicle in a moment's notice.
 
2014-06-01 05:10:20 PM  

broktune: So is MK 8 the reason to buy a Wii U?  I'm hoping Nintendo releases/announces a bundle at e3.


http://www.gamestop.com/wii-u/consoles/mario-kart-8-wii-u-deluxe-32g b- console/114510
 
2014-06-01 05:20:49 PM  
 
2014-06-01 05:45:08 PM  

gabethegoat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svHUopfx-CI&index=51&list=PLX2MjbJ6GIc e q8YbAPJ0ExF_yRUafQkLG


I was waiting for the cat to claw his eyes out
 
2014-06-01 06:26:44 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Gamecube version was the best. That's why they were only able to think of one track from Double Dash to list.


I never played that one. Of the ones I've played Mario Kart DS is probably my favorite.
 
2014-06-01 06:56:50 PM  
only played N64 but surprised that dirt track one where if you time a shrink right you can throw your opponents back about 2/3 of the course.
 
2014-06-01 07:11:11 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: only played N64 but surprised that dirt track one where if you time a shrink right you can throw your opponents back about 2/3 of the course.


Wario Stadium? Yoshi's Island?

/I've always hated Banshee Boardwalk in MK64 for some reason
 
2014-06-01 07:52:55 PM  
I don't normally get too emotional about Top 10 lists, but this might be the worst one I have ever seen. Most of the rational behind these tracks had more to do with how bad the author sucks at them, rather than their quality or merits.

/your list is bad and you should feel bad
 
2014-06-01 08:35:57 PM  
I don't understand why they don't include these past maps in the new mario karts.

It would be awesome if they kept a big anthology of past mario karts in all the current games. So if you want to go back and play the N64 tracks, you can.
 
2014-06-01 08:52:32 PM  

rideaurocks: No comments on battle mode? Most of the real stinker tracks were in the battle arena:

-tracks with no cover so firing a red shell from anywhere would strike the opponent
-too big for 2 or 4 players so you spend all your time driving with hardly any attacks
-usually only 4 maps to battle on, hopefully with one decent one

On top of that there's the way they take a decent battle map and then change it around on a new game version, in a way that totally ruins everything good about the map

If we're sticking to bad race tracks, Wario Stadium for Double Dash (Gamecube) is pretty bad because there's so many hazards. It's really a crapshoot as to who'll come out on top


Disagree on wario stadium completely. Get better and you can easily complete the track without hitting any.
 
2014-06-01 09:12:26 PM  
I find it interesting that they brought back N64 Rainbow Road for MK8, but split it into 3 sections on a single lap, instead of making you do three laps this time. 

Also, someone at Nintendo REALLY loves MK64. 4 of the 16 retro tracks are from MK64.

I'd love to see them put some of the tracks from the Arcade versions in as "Retro" tracks some time. We have a Mario Kart Arcade GP DX machine at Dave and Busters near here, but I've never even seen the first two versions.
 
2014-06-01 09:19:20 PM  
I must be one of the few who loved Toads Turnpike, backward or normal.
 
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