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(Daily Mail)   It's all fun and games 'til you purposely hit a New York state trooper and are found less than an hour later by search dogs hiding in the woods naked   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 35
    More: Fail, search dogs, New York State Police, Pickup truck driver, Almond Upton, I-81, police dogs, pickup trucks, Cindy McCain  
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3803 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2014 at 8:20 AM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-30 06:48:59 AM
It's never good when search dogs hide in the woods naked.
 
2014-05-30 07:26:46 AM
What were they doing in y pajamas?
 
2014-05-30 07:27:31 AM

Barfmaker: What were they doing in y pajamas?


*my
 
2014-05-30 08:27:22 AM
Well it was a New York State trooper, but keep choking that chicken subby.
 
2014-05-30 08:27:33 AM
It's all because of the Time Warp
 
2014-05-30 08:27:55 AM
So trooper is from Florida conducting a traffic stop in NY? I don't expect the British to be too familiar with US geography, but really?
 
2014-05-30 08:29:22 AM

flucto: It's never good when search dogs hide in the woods naked.


They were 1. naked, and 2. hiding in the woods. Odds are they knew what "fun and games" were in stock for them.
 
2014-05-30 08:39:52 AM
All of Florida just migrated up north again.
 
2014-05-30 08:40:32 AM
Seems pretty standard for florida
 
2014-05-30 08:46:04 AM
What do you mean 'til?  That's when the fun and games start!
 
2014-05-30 08:50:08 AM
It's a goddamn yankee from Connecticut who moved to Florida who hit a New York state trooper after visiting his mom back home. But since Florida is mentioned, the tag comes out. Not to whine excessively, but we have enough home grown crazies down here without crediting us with yankee crazy.
 
2014-05-30 08:50:22 AM

flucto: It's never good when search dogs hide in the woods naked.


Balls!

img2.timeinc.net
 
2014-05-30 09:01:06 AM

flucto: It's never good when search dogs hide in the woods naked.


He misunderstood how search dogs work.  He thought the dogs were tracking the smell of the shirt they used to 'scent' the dogs with.  Underwear just in case.

Could this be Kate Upton's uncle, who she gladly would not talk about?  She did grow up in Melrose, FL.
 
2014-05-30 09:04:31 AM
He purposely swerved to hit the cop?

If I were on the jury, I'd be voting not guilty.  Anytime you are near a cop, your life is in danger.
 
2014-05-30 09:11:20 AM

lantawa: FTFA:
Almond Upton, 60, admitted to police that he deliberately swerved his pickup truck from the left passing lane to the right shoulder to hit Trooper Christopher Skinner, 42, on Interstate 81 near Binghamton around noon, police Superintendent Joseph A. D'Amico said.
Upton, of Melrose, Florida, had sideswiped two other vehicles with his 2014 Toyota Tacoma, D'Amico said.


It IS Florida Man, so, yeah, Florida tag is apropos.  That being said, fry this Upton piece of shiat.  WTF, man!.


Yeah, fry time.  100%
 
2014-05-30 09:14:49 AM

lantawa: lack of warmth: flucto: It's never good when search dogs hide in the woods naked.

He misunderstood how search dogs work.  He thought the dogs were tracking the smell of the shirt they used to 'scent' the dogs with.  Underwear just in case.

Could this be Kate Upton's uncle, who she gladly would not talk about?  She did grow up in Melrose, FL.

Ooooooo...nice try. Kate Upton was raised in Melbourne, FL, about 140 miles away from Melrose, FL.  I lived in Gainesville, Fl for about 20 years, and periodically went to Melrose.  Melrose is a dilapidated, small cracker town.  Melbourne is not small or crackerish. But, really, nice try at getting a campaign going against Kate Upton.  Good jerb...


Not an anti Kate jerb, as you put it, just wondering if this going to be one of those relatives no one wants to admit to having.  I've got a couple of relatives, I won't admit to.
 
2014-05-30 09:15:18 AM
Damn, I thought the article was going to be about sideswiping the troopers car. Wasn't expecting a murder. That's some pretty randomn shiat. The folks up there better be worried because thaty police force is about to rage.
 
2014-05-30 09:19:11 AM
At least he won't be coming BACK to Florida. We have enough ragey, violent crazies, thank you very much.
 
2014-05-30 09:29:07 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Damn, I thought the article was going to be about sideswiping the troopers car. Wasn't expecting a murder. That's some pretty randomn shiat. The folks up there better be worried because thaty police force is about to rage.


"About" to?

Remember Bucky Phillips a few years back? I'm not sure they're over that yet. I mean, I respect the job most of them do, but I definitely never want to cross them.
 
2014-05-30 09:30:21 AM
You know man, I usually do hate on the mutherfarkin pigs but this pork-roll had a wife and two kids.
I should probably reserve my snarky comments, but I feel like events like this will leave an impact.
 
2014-05-30 09:31:11 AM

Cold_Sassy: lantawa: FTFA:
Almond Upton, 60, admitted to police that he deliberately swerved his pickup truck from the left passing lane to the right shoulder to hit Trooper Christopher Skinner, 42, on Interstate 81 near Binghamton around noon, police Superintendent Joseph A. D'Amico said.
Upton, of Melrose, Florida, had sideswiped two other vehicles with his 2014 Toyota Tacoma, D'Amico said.


It IS Florida Man, so, yeah, Florida tag is apropos.  That being said, fry this Upton piece of shiat.  WTF, man!.

Yeah, fry time.  100%


Ain't gonna fry.  New York has effectively killed its death penalty.
 
2014-05-30 09:35:11 AM
Lots of naked partying these days, I'm stoked to join in.
 
2014-05-30 09:35:57 AM
FTFA: Upton, 60, told police he was driving to Connecticut to visit his mother.

I think he is going to be late.  I think it would be best if she went ahead and ate dinner without him.  I wouldn't wait for him to get there before eating.   Just a feeling that I have.
 
2014-05-30 09:45:37 AM

Baradium: So trooper is from Florida conducting a traffic stop in NY? I don't expect the British to be too familiar with US geography, but really?


The British appear to be more familiar with US Geography than subby does
 
2014-05-30 09:50:37 AM
i was expecting at least for it to be florida, ny, but it happened upstate
 
2014-05-30 09:53:00 AM
If you're getting pulled over, pull over as far as you safely can so the officer doesn't have to stand in traffic.  In this case it looks like there was a hill that would make that dangerous, but more often than not there's a breakdown lane and then a level dirt/grassy area.  Get on over.  Even when getting pulled over for doing 60 in a 55.  Jerk.
 
2014-05-30 10:03:46 AM
Ever noticed how the news from England gets stranger every day, ever since Maggie Thatcher. Now they have a complete replica of the US there and report "news stories" from there.

There's enough evidence on film they were invaded by beings from outer space, who are now using special technology to influence readers between editions of the Onion.
 
2014-05-30 10:24:04 AM

desaxman13: Baradium: So trooper is from Florida conducting a traffic stop in NY? I don't expect the British to be too familiar with US geography, but really?

The British appear to be more familiar with US Geography than subby does


Not subby, but to be fair, it does say Florida trooper in the headline
 
2014-05-30 12:00:52 PM
I live in Tioga County, NY, which isn't far from where this happened.  Overheard a guy this morning saying something to the effect of, "Well, when you drive up to Syracuse, you'll always see at least troopers waiting to nail you."  The implication being that there are too many troopers.

Implication is actually correct, but the solution isn't to pick them off with schizophrenic Floridians.  Maybe dial down the hiring frenzy.

This wouldn't be a Fark post without fanning some flames:  according to the local paper, 100+ police participated in the short search for the guy.  If a motorist changing a tire had been struck, how many police, dogs, and helicopters would have participated in the search?
 
2014-05-30 12:03:08 PM
you'll always see at least troopers waiting to nail you

That should be: "at least THREE troopers."

Come on, fingers, keep up with the brain.
 
2014-05-30 12:07:56 PM
I think that for the safety of the troopers, they should stop pulling over random citizens to fark with.  Would be better for all involved.  Except for the gubmint coffers, of course.
 
2014-05-30 01:10:22 PM

varmitydog: It's a goddamn yankee from Connecticut who moved to Florida who hit a New York state trooper after visiting his mom back home. But since Florida is mentioned, the tag comes out. Not to whine excessively, but we have enough home grown crazies down here without crediting us with yankee crazy.


This.
 
2014-05-30 01:31:17 PM

dinwv: I think that for the safety of the troopers, they should stop pulling over random citizens to fark with.  Would be better for all involved.  Except for the gubmint coffers, of course.


I concur.  From the article it would seem there is really no net benefit for public and officer safety.
 
2014-05-30 02:06:09 PM

varmitydog: It's a goddamn yankee from Connecticut who moved to Florida who hit a New York state trooper after visiting his mom back home. But since Florida is mentioned, the tag comes out. Not to whine excessively, but we have enough home grown crazies down here without crediting us with yankee crazy.


To be fair, the Florida tag is almost always used when its some dumbass yankee transplant doing dumb shiat in our state instead of their own.
 
2014-05-30 08:49:10 PM

BitwiseShift: Ever noticed how the news from England gets stranger every day, ever since Maggie Thatcher. Now they have a complete replica of the US there and report "news stories" from there.

There's enough evidence on film they were invaded by beings from outer space, who are now using special technology to influence readers between editions of the Onion.


This is the Mail we are talking about. They've been known to simply make stuff up compulsively.
 
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