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(GQ Australia)   Ten douchebags you'll meet at the gym in 26 minutes   (gq.com.au) divider line 110
    More: PSA, douche bags, gyms  
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10325 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2014 at 8:49 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-29 05:43:53 PM  
You know who else you'll meet at the gym?

i.imgur.com

worth it
 
2014-05-29 05:54:40 PM  
ok, my top three gym pet peeves:

• old men with their dicks hanging out like it's no biggie
• people who still use right guard spray. what the fark? do you really need to choke up the entire locker room?
• people who don't farking wipe off the machines after they use them. i don't care if you're doing P90X or whatever, wipe off your sweat!
 
2014-05-29 06:06:54 PM  
3. The Spotter

Um, what?
 
2014-05-29 06:15:31 PM  
Not spotting is douchey.
 
2014-05-29 06:16:00 PM  

Joelogon: 3. The Spotter

Um, what?


I think that should have been "The uninvited spotter".  If I wanted a spot, I'd ask.

I know this is guys but... the TwitterTwat, the Spandex Social Club, and the Pilates Mafiafor women.  Don't get me started on Crossfitters.
 
2014-05-29 06:29:32 PM  
A GQ slideshow.

Shoot yourself.
 
2014-05-29 06:45:05 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: You know who else you'll meet at the gym?

[i.imgur.com image 500x706]


Ah yes, The ever-present Creepy Jagoff.  The guy that turns everything into a collection of his chick pics, trotting them out as if he were some sort of interwebby pimp.  Is the beatoff brigade thrilled?  Sure but they're making love to a crusty gym sock.  The actual flesh and blood women at the gym they so idolized are repulsed.

Oh wait, you were talking about the woman in the photograph?
 
2014-05-29 07:44:13 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: You know who else you'll meet at the gym?

[i.imgur.com image 500x706]

worth it


i236.photobucket.com

FTFY
 
2014-05-29 08:24:59 PM  
There's a gym a block down the road from my old office and some of the guys walking out of there smelled like they had just bathed in cologne. I don't know if they were in a rush and couldn't shower and the cologne was just to mask the sweat....I have no idea.

If you're making my eyes water from a dozen feet away, time to bring it down a notch.
 
2014-05-29 08:51:44 PM  
The douchebag that is angry because you don't telepathically know his work out schedule for the day and sulks and makes rude remarks because you got to the equipment first?
 
2014-05-29 08:53:55 PM  
List fails without cross-fitters, people curling in the squat rack and people jumping in the pool/hot tub without showering.
 
2014-05-29 08:54:58 PM  
One thing they all have in common is that they read GQ
 
2014-05-29 08:56:37 PM  
The spotter should be replaced with overly aggressive guy on the basketball court who thinks there is prize money for a pick up game
 
2014-05-29 08:58:29 PM  
I'm getting a kick out of the list, because at my gym its simply not allowed, if you grunt - your banned. If you use the shower/locker room and stick 10 gallons of cologne on, you get banned, your cellphone better be on vibrate and if it goes off, exit the gym.
Its a body building gym, so most of the time if they tell you to leave, half the gym is going to help remove you.

/just go for the kicking/punching bag, it gets my frustration out - the only thing I hate is the asshole who asks a 180lb guy like myself any tips on dead lifting some oddball number (400lbs?) when clearly I don't even lift.
 
2014-05-29 08:59:21 PM  
Haven't we had this discussion and read similar blog posts a few times already? We should start wikifying the collective knowledge of fark.
 
2014-05-29 09:00:14 PM  

Pocket Ninja: A GQ slideshow.

Shoot yourself sub-douche


/ftfy
 
2014-05-29 09:00:59 PM  
My gym is full of strippers. All wearing near see-through gym attire, doing 100 reps with a 2lb weight, whilst leaving their gucci luggage spread over three machines.
 
2014-05-29 09:01:12 PM  

Porous Horace: Haven't we had this discussion and read similar blog posts a few times already? We should start wikifying the collective knowledge of fark.


It's more about the journey than the destination.
 
2014-05-29 09:02:43 PM  
I so hip that everyone else is lame! Absorb my awesomeness!  My sweat is your tears!
 
2014-05-29 09:03:00 PM  

Misconduc: I'm getting a kick out of the list, because at my gym its simply not allowed, if you grunt - your banned. If you use the shower/locker room and stick 10 gallons of cologne on, you get banned, your cellphone better be on vibrate and if it goes off, exit the gym.
Its a body building gym, so most of the time if they tell you to leave, half the gym is going to help remove you.

/just go for the kicking/punching bag, it gets my frustration out - the only thing I hate is the asshole who asks a 180lb guy like myself any tips on dead lifting some oddball number (400lbs?) when clearly I don't even lift.


Sounds like a retard gym. No one bothers anyone at my gym, and if people are grunting, my headphones generally cover up the noises. I go to work out, I don't give a damn what others are doing.
 
2014-05-29 09:03:01 PM  

Big Merl: List fails without cross-fitters, people curling in the squat rack and people jumping in the pool/hot tub without showering.


If you want to do crossfit, do it. Just go to a crossfit box and do it there. Same with the p90x douches who bring their farking laptops. That shiat is meant to be done at home.
 
2014-05-29 09:03:24 PM  
I hate to point this out, but:
cdn.vogue.com.au
The Grunter
c2.staticflickr.com
The Farker.
 
2014-05-29 09:05:15 PM  

Czechzican: My gym is full of strippers. All wearing near see-through gym attire, doing 100 reps with a 2lb weight, whilst leaving their gucci luggage spread over three machines.


See, that's exactly what would make me join a gym.
 
2014-05-29 09:05:42 PM  

Big Merl: List fails without cross-fitters, people curling in the squat rack and people jumping in the pool/hot tub without showering.


Yep...a few weeks ago I had a double whammy of a couple hogging two of the squat racks and some guy doing hanging abs from the third rack.

(I say hogging because they were doing squats when I got there and still doing them when I left 40 mins later...no idea wtf they were doing, but its not really cool to monopolize 2/3 of the racks for so long).
 
2014-05-29 09:07:31 PM  

Hobitsez: Big Merl: List fails without cross-fitters, people curling in the squat rack and people jumping in the pool/hot tub without showering.

Yep...a few weeks ago I had a double whammy of a couple hogging two of the squat racks and some guy doing hanging abs from the third rack.

(I say hogging because they were doing squats when I got there and still doing them when I left 40 mins later...no idea wtf they were doing, but its not really cool to monopolize 2/3 of the racks for so long).


I should add there are multiple other areas for doing hanging ab workouts in the gym.
 
2014-05-29 09:07:32 PM  
Ask a guy who barfed at the gym last week anything.
 
2014-05-29 09:08:32 PM  
List FAILS without

thebarbelle.files.wordpress.com

/this asshole
 
2014-05-29 09:09:01 PM  
Cross-fitters.  Don't get me wrong; I know some people that do it, and it's made a positive impact on their lives, so I can't hate on it too hard.  I just find it amusing watching someone do crazy reps of Olympic lifts, or a portion of an Olympic lift, at very low weight.

Don't get me started on that stupid reverse bicycle kicking kip thing they do on their f*cking pullups, which barely gets their chin even with the bar when they strain their neck to look upward.  No, you didn't just do 40 pullups, you did zero pullups.  No, you shouldn't be thinking about progressing to muscle-ups, since you can't do a real pullup yet; you're asking for a serious shoulder injury.
 
2014-05-29 09:09:53 PM  

MrEricSir: Czechzican: My gym is full of strippers. All wearing near see-through gym attire, doing 100 reps with a 2lb weight, whilst leaving their gucci luggage spread over three machines.

See, that's exactly what would make me join a gym.


I actually saw a dude drop a weight on his foot because one of the girls decided to spread eagle doing bicep curls while wearing said work out gear in front of him. I'll admit that was worth the price of admission.
 
2014-05-29 09:11:21 PM  
GYM.....What is a gime?
 
2014-05-29 09:11:38 PM  

brap: The Stealth Hippopotamus: You know who else you'll meet at the gym?

[i.imgur.com image 500x706]

Ah yes, The ever-present Creepy Jagoff.  The guy that turns everything into a collection of his chick pics, trotting them out as if he were some sort of interwebby pimp.  Is the beatoff brigade thrilled?  Sure but they're making love to a crusty gym sock.  The actual flesh and blood women at the gym they so idolized are repulsed.

Oh wait, you were talking about the woman in the photograph?

/ A thousand times THIS.
 
2014-05-29 09:11:41 PM  

spamdog: Ask a guy who barfed at the gym last week anything.


Some kid got out the door, passed out and puked on front of the door once. They just put a towel over the barf and under his head. Just left him where he was til firetrucks showed up. People were stepping over him and stuff. When you gotta be at the gym in 26 minutes you gotta be at the gym in 26 minutes
 
2014-05-29 09:12:06 PM  
The guy with his foot up on the sink blow-drying his balls.

Or worse, the guy who stands naked at the sink shaving (or whatever), rubbing his balls all over the countertop / side.
 
2014-05-29 09:12:32 PM  
What a terrible list.

1. Grunter: Yes, can be annoying but whatever. Deal with it.
2. Preener: Yes, can be annoying but whatever. Deal with it.
3. Spotter: What?! Spotters are very useful.
4. Nudist: Locker room is for getting changed and showering. There will be nudity. Grow up.
5. Sleaze: Agreed. Stay away if you think you're going to pick up chicks at the gym.
6. Dribbler: Umm...sure. Not really a huge deal unless you're going to put your mouth all over it right after.
7. Puddle maker: Agreed. Very annoying. Only takes 20 seconds to clean your stuff.
8. Short Shorts: Yes, can be annoying but whatever. Deal with it.
9. Hog: Agreed. Especially annoying if the gym is busy.
10. Phone Guy: Agreed. Go outside or out of the workout area.

Basically whoever wrote this sounds like "the" annoying guy at the gym.
 
2014-05-29 09:15:05 PM  
It's douchebags all the way down.
 
2014-05-29 09:17:48 PM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Don't get me started on that stupid reverse bicycle kicking kip thing they do on their f*cking pullups, which barely gets their chin even with the bar when they strain their neck to look upward.  No, you didn't just do 40 pullups, you did zero pullups.  No, you shouldn't be thinking about progressing to muscle-ups, since you can't do a real pullup yet; you're asking for a serious shoulder injury.


Every time I pass a crossfit "gym" I see a whole lot of people moving around very quickly doing a bunch of exercises very badly.

/must be a great time to be a physician that specializes in sports injuries
 
2014-05-29 09:18:45 PM  

gingerjet: List FAILS without

[thebarbelle.files.wordpress.com image 420x315]

/this asshole


What's he doing?

/don't go to the gym
//yoga is more my thing
 
2014-05-29 09:19:28 PM  
You get to use one machine at a time.  ONE machine.  If you want six machines and a squat rack all to yourself, buy yourself a goddamn Bowflex for your spare bedroom.

/or at least ask politely if you can rep in
 
2014-05-29 09:21:00 PM  

miss diminutive: gingerjet: List FAILS without

[thebarbelle.files.wordpress.com image 420x315]

/this asshole

What's he doing?

/don't go to the gym
//yoga is more my thing


I think it's because he is doing the wrong exercise with that equipment. There's another place in the gym to do that sort of thing, but no where else to do what that equipment is supposed to be used for.
 
2014-05-29 09:24:19 PM  

Czechzican: miss diminutive: gingerjet: List FAILS without

[thebarbelle.files.wordpress.com image 420x315]

/this asshole

What's he doing?

/don't go to the gym
//yoga is more my thing

I think it's because he is doing the wrong exercise with that equipment. There's another place in the gym to do that sort of thing, but no where else to do what that equipment is supposed to be used for.


It's a squat rack.  Squats (where you put the barbell across your shoulders and, well, squat) are pretty much essential for good lower body development.  A squat rack such as that is the only place you can safely do them, since there's that bar down below that catches the weight if you have to bail, keeping the barbell from knocking you senseless.  Curls, which is what he is doing, can be done pretty much anywhere in the gym, and with lots of different kinds of equipment, so taking up the squat rack for curls is pretty douchey.
 
2014-05-29 09:29:05 PM  
Robo Beat:

It's a squat rack.  Squats (where you put the barbell across your shoulders and, well, squat) are pretty much essential for good lower body development.  A squat rack such as that is the only place you can safely do them, since there's that bar down below that catches the weight if you have to bail, keeping the barbell from knocking you senseless.  Curls, which is what he is doing, can be done pretty much anywhere in the gym, and with lots of different kinds of equipment, so taking up the squat rack for curls is pretty douchey.

Oh ok, yeah that is pretty douchey.
 
2014-05-29 09:29:16 PM  
I go to a fighting gym, as a newer member, most people are really helpful with technique, etc, but it really grinds my gears when I get paired up with some cooont who gets so pissed off that I'm not holding pads right, or I need to ask again about a specific exercise so I get it right. I'm new and learning damn it! I'm trying my hardest and getting paired up with people like that really throw me off my game, and it's a beginners class for fark sakes.
 
2014-05-29 09:32:17 PM  

Robo Beat: Czechzican: miss diminutive: gingerjet: List FAILS without

[thebarbelle.files.wordpress.com image 420x315]

/this asshole

What's he doing?

/don't go to the gym
//yoga is more my thing

I think it's because he is doing the wrong exercise with that equipment. There's another place in the gym to do that sort of thing, but no where else to do what that equipment is supposed to be used for.

It's a squat rack.  Squats (where you put the barbell across your shoulders and, well, squat) are pretty much essential for good lower body development.  A squat rack such as that is the only place you can safely do them, since there's that bar down below that catches the weight if you have to bail, keeping the barbell from knocking you senseless.  Curls, which is what he is doing, can be done pretty much anywhere in the gym, and with lots of different kinds of equipment, so taking up the squat rack for curls is pretty douchey.


in more words..
 
2014-05-29 09:34:40 PM  
1. everyone
Gyms are dumb.
 
2014-05-29 09:36:02 PM  
I think we can all agree, the real douche bag here is this slideshow/article...
 
2014-05-29 09:36:59 PM  
My least favorite is the person I will dub the "copycat".  Get on a machine and suddenly out of the 20 plus open machines in the gym they NEED to be using the one you are on.  All you hear is "are you almost done" and "I have it after you" echoing into an empty gym.
 
2014-05-29 09:40:40 PM  
If I were a sports medicine type doctor, I'd love Crossfitters. Otherwise, they're just retards. http://www.dailydot.com/opinion/why-i-dont-do-crossfit/
 
2014-05-29 09:43:01 PM  
Ahem:

1) Lame GQ article (honestly, who intentionally goes to GQ's website?)
2) Slideshow
3) Posted on FARK's front page

Conclusion:

Someone paid for this to be on the front page of FARK.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-29 09:47:47 PM  

Czechzican: My gym is full of strippers. All wearing near see-through gym attire, doing 100 reps with a 2lb weight, whilst leaving their gucci luggage spread over three machines.


In other words, lifting goes on there. Just not the kind of lifting you generally mean, with gyms...
 
2014-05-29 09:47:57 PM  
I'm lucky, I get to use a pretty nice gym on a military base and it's free.

My only peeve - pick up your damn towels.  The people who work there, wash them, dry them, fold them and put them in a nice stack for your use.

When you're done with them, put them into the bin clearly marked "dirty towels."
 
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